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Mazatt · 03-01-2021, 08:06 PM

The clear way to move forward and make hockey more exciting is to replace the end boards behind the net with trampolines angled ~37 degrees up from the ice, and to get rid of the netting. This creates a new degree of fan engagement where they get more souveniers and also more trips to the hospital. It's a give and take system, really. Not only does this change make things more exciting but it creates for much more exciting hits. Neutral zone hits? They're already fun, but imagine a guy gets trucked behind the net and he pops up in the air like a cartoon. Or he just gets tossed into the crowd dangerously. It'd be hella funny either way. The other strategy this creates is the defensemen at the point being met with a big decision. Do they try and score, or do they shoot wide for the big bounce and pick up an assist with the baseball swing in the slot? The same idea with a player on a breakaway. We all remember Joe Colbourne (I forget who it was) passing back on a breakaway, but what if, instead of having to pass back, a player could simply fire it off the trampoline and have it bounce past the trailing d-man and onto the tape of the player behind them? It opens up so many new situations and strategies on both ends of the puck, it would really change the game of hockey.

*littleb* · 03-01-2021, 08:49 PM

All they would have to do is change the ice surface a bit to make it high flying! The ice surface would have frozen "waves" all along it with heavily padded bars along the blue and red line so players would have to get speed and jump over using the ice hills, slide under them with pace or climb over them if they have to greatly slowing it down. Hits would be completely allowed in the air and extra padding would be added to all parts of the body. Not only that but there would be a small circle in both top corners and bottom corners of the net and if the puck goes through them, they get 2 goals instead of 1 on the board. Goaltender interference would not be a part of the game anymore as a final rule, but the keeper would also be able to use his stick however he deemed necessary to clear his crease of opposing players.

Seymour · 03-01-2021, 09:03 PM

ROCKET POWERED SKATING AND SHOOTING

[Image: cmzmS45.png]

cahtah haht · 03-01-2021, 09:05 PM

There is only one reliable, safe, and effective way to make any sport more extreme: Giving every player performance enhancing drugs. It is a well know fact that PEDs are good for you and they make you good at sports. They also make you big and strong. Once every player is big and strong, we remove all rules. We also should change the scoring so that points are awarded based on hits, fight wins, and- oops nevermind I just turned the SHL into MMA. Jokes aside, PEDs would make every player better at the sport and physically tougher, making physical play more likely. In this scenario, it only makes sense to give every player loads of drugs. In fact, this would make SHL hockey much more fun to watch so we should just do it even if the networks don't ask us to make our sport more physical.

***Gwdjohnson*** · 03-01-2021, 09:14 PM

Wouldn't it be crazy if I PT passed this one too?

marco999 · 03-01-2021, 09:32 PM

Let's be honest, hockey is already dangerous as it is and you have to be extremely skilled to be a succesful player. I mean, we're talking about twelve men skating around on thin blades on a sheet of ice chasing a small puck, so of course dangerous things are going to happen. However, since the network insists that we need to make it more dangerous, I dug up a few ideas that would help make hockey extreme! I would start by giving some wrestling style weapons to the penalty kill unit, giving a whole other meaning to the term penalty kill. In addition to their sticks, the penalty killers would have trash cans, guitars, steel chairs, frying pans, baking sheets and baseball bats at their disposition that they could use to knock down the powerplay unit. Talk about an extreme 2 minutes! I would also add ramps in the neutral zone instead of the faceoffs spots, so more agile players could try to jump over the defense with the puck, or try to beat an offside by flying in the air. Gritty forwards could also launch themselves into the defense to create a turnover when the cowards who don't want to go on the ramp grab the loose puck that the knocked down defender just lost. Would these changes make it more probable that a player gets injured? Yes, but I can't remember the last time I saw an injury in the SHL. I think it would make it more extreme and it's definitely something that I would watch!

zeagle1 · 03-01-2021, 09:33 PM

Firstoff, I just want to say that slamball is an all time classic show/sport and I love you for reminding me it exists. Anyways, I think the biggest change that would need to be made is to make the boards and glass elastic. That way, players hit into the boards would rebound off, and it would be much harder to hold up the puck on the boards, which is the most boring part of hockey. Additionally, the elastic boards could be used to add additional depth into offensive strategy. A back pass into the boards behind your goal could catapult the puck and start a breakaway, a missed shot could rebound and become an own goal, the possibilities are endless. Goalies could skate into the boards as hard as they could so they would get off ice for an extra attacker further. Maybe bench players could grab players on the ice and use the boards as a slingshot too!

Kyamprac · 03-01-2021, 09:54 PM

Before now I didn't know slamball existed - so thanks for that. I think one of the more "extreme" ideas I have for changing up the hockey rink would be to put like small swimming pools on either side of the rink in the center zone (like about where neutral faceoff zones would be) with ramps on either side right around the blue line. Skaters could either still proceed up the middle with the puck, or fly up and over the sides on the side ramps. Probably one of the biggest risks this would pose is like mid-air collisions or something, but it wouldn't be an extreme sport without that kind of thing. I imagine it would make offsides kind of quirky too, so some rules would have to change there.

Another idea is just to let players to play without helmets and/or padding again, but somehow that seems worse in some ways.. especially for goalies.

***Leafs4ever*** · 03-02-2021, 12:33 AM

The SHL has finally been picked up for syndication! We can now be a legit competitor to the NHL and give viewers another option to get their hockey fill. However, it seems like the network wants to be as different from the NHL as possible. They sent a memo out to players asking for how they can make the ice rink more "extreme" in order to bring in a more diverse crowd. I've thought about it for a while and I think I have something that could work.

The biggest change we can make is to the ice and the lines on the ice. My suggestion is to go full glow in the dark. We make the ice black and then make all of the lines on the ice neon, glow in the dark colours. Then, we make the puck super bright so we can see it in the dark. Each team will need glow in the dark jerseys so the players can see each other in the dark. It'll be like laser tag, but hockey. Will it work? Probably not. Is it a bad idea? Almost certainly yes. Do we want it anyway? Absolutely.

(195 words)

Guy Incognito - D - #24
Texas Renegades
Season 76
0-0-0
Regular Season - [G 0] [A 0] [Pts 0] [+/- 0] [PIM 0] [Hits 0] [SB 0]
[Image: ERs3IrD.png]

bjkman · 03-02-2021, 01:06 AM

ISFL Affiliate

DELIRIVM · 03-02-2021, 03:40 AM

Welcome to the SHL brought to you by Nickelodeon. Every time that a goal is scored multiple buckets of slime will be dumped on the ice. All the players will have to wear fat suits and every few minutes they will show replays with exaggerated screams and weird noises. The intermission will be hosted by Spongebob, Patrick, and a plethora of Nickelodeon characters from past and present (Ren & Stimpy, The Rugrats, Doug, The Fairly Odd Parents, Invader Zim, ect) and they will get past Nickelodeon child actors and actresses like Amanda Bynes and Miranda Cosgrove to be the officials. While the cartoon intermission hosts spend time breaking down the game via hijinks, Dan Schneider will make his way around each locker room and lick the toes of each and every player.

Honestly this just makes itself up. Nickelodeon would be foolish not to sponsor the SHL at this point. Everyone needs more slime, right? *shudders* I'm very sorry for putting this forward, actually call off the merger.

[168 Words]

Urq660 · 03-02-2021, 04:22 AM

The SHL needs an overhaul of its television presentation in order to compete with the big boys. First of all, a behind the scenes documentary deal should be signed with Netflix, so all season, the players and coaches are subjected to cameras in their faces constantly. This will help with their concentration and make them feel more comfortable at all times. Next, we need someone to present the live games and I still a sense of gravitas they require. How about Rock ‘The Dwayne’ Johnson? He may or may not be a relation to Gabe Johnson, so there could be some sort of family rates sweetheart deal in the makings there? Or Johnson is just an incredibly common surname, and the 2 have no link whatsoever? Either way, The Dwayne could be given the power to call a special timeout, once per match, where he gets to body slam the player of his choice on the rink, smack a goalie with a steel chair etc. And you know the crowd would go wild when he did that eyebrow thing, that I can’t do *sad*

krazko · 03-02-2021, 08:43 AM

In order to make the SHL more extreme and meet the requirements set by the cable network the redesigning of the rink will be in a few different ways.

Firstly we will change the shape of the rink by adding them to a mobile platform that allows for the boards to move at a random pattern (but never becoming shorter than the current length as the goals will remain).
Secondly, the goals will be made slightly bigger with an hourglass shape (but still wider than current format).
Third, we will at random times turn off all the lights in the rink (the puck will be glow in the dark), the play will be filmed with a very light sensitive camera that will pick up the excitement from the ice.
Last, but definitely not least, there will be big padded objects coming down on the ice (think like wipe out) that the players (and the referees for that matter) will have to dodge (if they can see it in time)

***Bayley*** · 03-02-2021, 09:19 AM

Do you remember that hockey game where the back of the rink were huge ramps and everyone played on roller skates? Well, the SHL has been just been picked up by ESPN who is really pushing the X Games, so everyone is going to have to take off their skates and put on their roller blades. I am not sure if anyone remembers Pro Beach Hockey, but this is exactly what I am talking about. I think this should be a really interesting switch to what everyone is used to, but I think it will be absolutely worth it. In addition, we would have 2 point goals that people could get if they shoot outside of the arc. I mean, the rules are really great and think of how much fun people would have watching it. People would love the activity and the offense, so why would we not make this switch? I think it's worth looking into and getting rid of the awful FHM.

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Wearingabear · 03-02-2021, 10:52 AM

As the Simulation Hockey League makes the transition from online fake hockey league to the real world, Spike TV is making it's comeback. The caveat is that the Simulation Hockey League will now be played with American Gladiator type rules. Sticks are now giant double sided q-tip bashers. Then during a Power Play, the players harness themselves up and perform a version of the Swingshot, in which they have to swing back and forth to try and get their shots on the net. The puck will be adhered with a velcro like adhesive to help it travel. The events themselves don't really show promise, and honestly are getting too far away from the main game of hockey. Test ratings so far have showed this event to be a catastrophic failure. Never the less, Paramount Studios, who owns Spike TV, is pursuing this to try and help garner attention for other programming they have lined up for the upcoming season. Will their half cocked plan come to fruition and help the studio? Or will it destroy the fan base of an already wonderfuly dysfunctional league.

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