Login

***yosh*** · 03-03-2021, 12:43 AM

Uhhhh what if we like

Had hockey rinks that had CUSTOM DIMENSIONS BABYYYYYYY

Just like how custom dimensions makes each ballpark unique, these custom sized rinks will lead to max chaos and entertainment.

Can you imagine an arena that’s slanted? Is it even possible to skate upwards? Well, these players will find out soon enough.

And mess with the boards as well! That’s right, make the boards all wacky, have some parts of the boards sticking out, some little creased areas, little trap corners that make it hard to dig the puck out. Heck, maybe even adjust the height of the boards! Some parts have tall boards, others have boards that are super short!

Oh, and for even more hijinks and giggles, relocate the penalty boxes somewhere in the crowd. Players will have to take a huge walk of shame in and out of the penalty box. Even more incentive to not take a penalty!

WC: 157

Velevra · 03-03-2021, 12:51 AM

Great news the SHL has been picked up by a large scale cable network. Well not really, but they got a contract to stream all the games on Twitch! Unfortunately, this comes with some changes to the game. The Twitch CEO thought SHL stood for Sled hockey league so all the players need to now play on sleds which has quite the steep learning curve. Additionally twitch is big on fan engagement, every week a certain game of the week will have a rule/equipment alteration as chosen by twitch chat. Some of the new changes being tested out include: 1) Players must play blindfolded, 2) Tandem sled mode where two people are on one sled, and 3) bounce board mode where the boards are loaded with springs that send players flying to the other end of the rink. All of these changes may not please traditional SHL fans but hey as long as twitch chat is happy and we are getting those twitch primes can we really complain.

*Festinator* · 03-03-2021, 02:22 AM

The SHL is falling a ways behind the NHL in popularity and so the head office has been tasked with attempting to make the league more interesting. Slamball was brought up as an example of what can be done to drum up some excitement and popularity for the league, and so the league heads came together and thought of something to do for the SHL. They noticed how soccer was the most popular sport in the world, and so they decided to bring forth elements of soccer to the SHL. From here on out, the SHL ice surface will now be the size of a football/soccer field. The game will be played 11 on 11, as soccer is played, and teams can now experiement with different formations. The opportunity for offensive dmen and defensive forwards to be put into a midfield category is opened, and now the truly offensive and defensive players of the game can focus solely on their trades. Skating is now more important than ever before, and arenas will now be much larger and can hold more fans, leading to more revenue. What could possibly go wrong?

*.simo* · 03-03-2021, 06:53 AM

ISFL PT

C9Van · 03-03-2021, 08:18 AM

If we are going to the extreme then I think they would give you a point for everyone you injure to the pint they cannot continue playing. So someone that is violent like Jon Forty One might do pretty well with an extreme rule like that. Perhaps something less painful would be points are worth double if they're a sniped shot from decently far out like in NBA? Would make them more important and deflections don't remove the bonus to make it easier. Would also mean those goals have more weight on catching up or stealing the game from the enemy.

Slamball has those bouncing trampolines so why not have the sides on the arena have them too? That might be more madness since it will make people fly around but i reckon that could be really funny to watch and since we are going full extreme, I mean....Why not?! Dunno how that would do on ice but would be funny to find out.

[167 words]

***Hordle*** · 03-03-2021, 09:58 AM

QCC has Boris, is that not extreme enough?? No? Okay fine then.

EXTREME HOCKEY! WE DON'T JUST HAVE BLADE ON OUR FEET! NO WE HAVE THEM ON OUR WRISTS AND OUR STICKS?! SLASHING A PENELTY? NOT ANYMORE BABY! WE SWINGING FOR THE FENCES. PURGE TIME! IF YOU WANNA LIVE DON'T GET CUT! GOALIES ARE LITERALLY LIVE WIRED EXPLOSIVES! YOU HIT US JUST THE RIGHT WAY AND WE EXPLODE TANKING OUT THE ENTIRE RINK! THEN YOU JUST HERE OVERKILL COME ACROSS YOUR SPEAKERS AND THE GAME IS OVER! DOESN'T THAT SOUND EXICITING?!

Honestly, what is with TV and sports being extreme or violent. Like yeah hockey's got fighting but it's not that common (unless your Boris). The game is about skill and teamwork. I think the whole idea that sports need to be violent is childish at best. Anyone else feel this way? No? Okay I guess we could also give the coaches a gun with one shot in it. Or put small landmines in the ice? Idk I'm grasping at straws here.

EricNCSU · 03-03-2021, 12:31 PM

ISFL PT

ddrector · 03-03-2021, 12:33 PM

I envision something similar to the original XFL or the NFL Blitz, but a hockey alternative could be that penalties are no longer a thing and instead of face-offs you have a 1 on 1 hockey fight to determine possession after each score. There is no other reason for stoppage in this hard core version of hockey. In order to prevent things like the net getting moved the net is hard mounted into the ice in this version as well, so collisions with the frame of the net will feel like hitting a solid metal beam at high speed. No more pads are allowed to be worn anymore either. That includes helmets, and gloves as well. The goalies have to be the most bad ass players as they are getting hit by the puck with basically no padding. You might thing that players would just ram into goalies to open up the net for teammates, but the goalies quickly learned to use their massive goalie sticks to dole out heavy punishment for opposing players getting to close to the net. I can't wait to put all my TPE into fighting so I can be a top player in this new system.

karlssens · 03-03-2021, 01:01 PM

Quite the concept. I've never seen slamball so I'm not entirely sure what we're going for here, but I have seen running man and in his first challenge he has to survive a big hockey fella on an ice area. Spoiler alert he ends up killing the guy and pissing off the hosts, but I think we can find a middle ground for the SHL. For starters let's ditch this dumb oval and make the rink shape something a bit more exciting. Perhaps a square or a circle. Less of a north/south game and more of an all over play style. I was thinking we keep the nets where they are, but maybe in each corner could be fun. Next let's add bumpers on the walls that pop out at random times. Lastly let's add a player that just stirs the pot. They can't touch the puck, but can hit anyone. Something along the line of bludgers from qudditich.

Kierkan · 03-03-2021, 01:20 PM

Now presenting the new and improved Simulation Hockey League! Instead of skaters and sticks, we're transitioning into more of a bumper cars direction. Each team will put three skaters into a bobsled that's missing the bottom. While this Flintstones approach might seem a bit dangerous, we believe that we'll see a dramatic increase in creative play. You might be wondering "Hey what about the puck and hockey sticks?" That's a great question! We've modified the bobsleds so players can slide hockey sticks out the sides. Kind of like a Viking longboat with oars, but on ice. Some critics are saying that the new format is completely ridiculous and unnecessary. To those who would doubt our new ambitious direction, I say this: The game of hockey was due for evolution. Long gone are the days off concussions and skate blade cuts. Hits from behind and fights. We'd also like to take a moment to thank our sponsor going forward, Raid: Shadow Legends! Make sure to tune in to the next game, only on ESPSN 8: The Ocho.

Mavfatha · 03-03-2021, 01:40 PM

The only rink specific change I would want to make would be to double the height of the goal. To compensate, the rules of the game would need to change and allow teams to now have 3 goalkeepers - 2 to form the base of a pyramid on the ground and one that stands/sits on their shoulders to try to save any shots going up high. This would ultimately lead to a lot more scoring and hilarity as the top goalie has to knock their teammates off balance going for saves and ending up in a heap on the ground with a large and wide-open net available to the other team. To somewhat counteract this and add even more falling and hilarity, a modification on the equipment side would remove laces from all skates. With much looser skates, forwards and defenders would have difficulty building up speed and could literally have their skates knocked off from hits. A fun time would be had by all fans, though we would probably need to increase team size to accommodate all the new injuries from these changes.

Tate · 03-03-2021, 01:55 PM

My idea to make the game more, "extreme," would be to introduce TURBO SKATES. Every player has the same amount of turbo they can activate on their skates, so that for a brief period of time they get a burst of speed. The turbo is reset for each period so you would have opportunities three times a game to activate your turbo and speed down the ice like the Roadrunner from the cartoons. How cool would it be to have turbo plays happening at pivotal points in the game? Now, you would have to add extra padding to the boards to reduce the risk of serious injury but it would be such a cool addition to the game overall, and it would require strategic planning. It would also open up possibilities for new types of plays altogether where you could really see some special moves happen or breakouts like we've never seen before. Bring on the turbo skates!

159 words

*roastpuff* · 03-03-2021, 02:06 PM

Due to the demands on the new television deal to make the SHL more extreme, the league has decided that the faceoff circle will become a mini thunder dome. Now, when the two centermen enter the circle, a cage will spring up around them. In order to win the faceoff, they will have to defeat the other player - as according to the Thunder Dome rules. Two players enter, one player leaves! Also, during each period each coach will be able to give one player on their team a special booster that will increase their physical performance by 100% with a risk of permanent health side effects including nausea, indigestion, upset stomach and diarrhea. It remains to be seen whether or not the preferred tactic would be to give this booster to their star players, or use expendable fourth liners as sacrificial pawns. The evolution of this tactic will be interesting to watch, especially as some players turn different colours when provided with this injection, letting the viewers at home know when it is active.

***Ohtaay*** · 03-03-2021, 02:53 PM

AW13 · 03-03-2021, 04:07 PM

I am happy to announce that the SHL has been picked up for ESPN8: The Ocho and with that agreement and for the announcement in the OSQ: Obscure Sports Quarterly, there will be a few changes to the game to present the game of hockey in a different light.

The first change:
Shrink the Rink. The rink which had once been a standard 200 x 85 foot rink will be shrunk by nearly half as it will be dropping to 120 x 50 to provide for much less spacing on the rink, more fast paced play and more scoring action. With that there needs to be an additional change as well.

One less player:
With the shrinking of the rink, there is not enough space for 5 skaters on each side and instead will be dropping to 4 skater lineups which could lead to interesting strategy choices. The standard will be 2 forwards and 2 defensemen but also you could do 3 forwards and 1 defenseman or 1 forward and 3 defensemen. The standard lineups could eliminate the need for centers but they would become wingers more than likely.

More hitting, less penalties:
The game needs their players on the ice to get views and penalties sometimes take these players out for 2 minutes at a time. Refs will look for more egregious penalties but slight hooking or cross checking will be let go. The smaller rink should emphasize a lot of hits, a lot of goals, and the stars shining.

These will all be implemented within the next few seasons, enjoy hockey fans!

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us