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S59 PT #3 Free Agent Pitch

oh hell yeah time to tamper let's go thanks for the opportunity to tamper in public love it im gonna daco myself woo hoo let's go alright baby of the da variety. first of all i would like to say that the atlanta inferno flames fire bird chickens acrylic blocks are such a friendly family that just feels like such a cozy little community with all of our dumb ass in jokes. an example of one of our dumb ass inside jokes is the ge meme where we put ge at the end of every word and it got to the point where i even added functionality to automatically do that to arsonge botge and it's definitely the dumbest thing i've added to the botge so far although that's not saying much because everything else i've added has been sick like the cube function that @micool132 is not a big fan of, sorry for taking your job i didn't mean it i just didn't think about it before implementing it

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Signatures by Vulfzilla, Jepox, Jess, rum_ham, Ragnar, and myself
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The Seattle Argonauts offer something Seattle has never seen before..a hockey team at least for a long time to say the least. You could be apart of something brand new and go down in history as being apart of the first Argonauts roster! Wouldn't that be something else. You will always have a bunch of loyal fans just like the Seahawks even though they suck we wont! We will actually bring a lot of winning to the Seattle area which Seattle Sports is not to known for and you can be apart of it if you come here. Plus we are a expansion team may I remind you? Also we have top tier coaching and the first ever Starbucks to get you going in the morning. That's if you can wait on the hour long line of course unless you get there early! Hope to see you in Seattle!

With the upcoming expasion draft, people get excited about new franchises right? NO! They get excited for the previous expansion, the Atlanta Inferno. Why play for the most recent teams when you could play for the second (tied with somewhere else nobody cares about) most recent team. In Atlanta, you will get memes, you will make friends, you will get to talk with jobin and arthur fist him, you will get bots stealing your job and reminding people to do their PT's or whatever. There's also an otter only channel from which I am banned for a year!!! The team is in a retool process and is still being competitive and will be for a long time. So Sign up! (not a tampering attempt). This is not official advice, I am just an otter sharing my experience and no one should sign to Atlanta solely because of my testimony, you sohuld do your own research and then sign with us cuz we are the best. Also @goldenglutes tag because he's a GM and I want him to see I am a dedicated little inferno.



Character Page RD- Quarterback
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Retired players:
-Toki Wartooth
-Nathan Explosion btw
-Angus McFife XVIII

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I had heard some things about the city of Baltimore before I moved here, and while it isn't LA or New York or anything like that it's actually a solid city. It's on the coast which I personally love, there's plenty of things to do, and it's very close to other major cities like Washington, Philly and New York.
However the team is definitely the selling point in Baltimore. We've built an incredibly tight and fun group that is on the cusp of being a competitive team. Between JR, Sheep and Zoone our front office has a great mix of experience as well as new ideas and they've done a great job building a top young core to this point. We can reasonably expect to start competing very, very soon, and that process would only be expedited by adding a top free agent to the mix in Baltimore. Personally I’m really excited to be a member of the Platoon and looking forward to joining the team in a couple seasons time.

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Credits to OrbitingDeath, Tweedle, Incite, Wasty, and Slothfacekilla for sigs!


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PREVIOUS PLAYER STATISTICS

Do you want a two-way dman whose production goes down with more ice time? Then my client is just the player for you!  Teddy Murphy is a solid piece for the middle of your defensive depth chart.  Just make sure you don't give him more than 20 minutes in a game or time on the power play.  In only his second year in the SHL Murphy is on pace for a 26 point season, but you won't make the same mistake Baltimore is making and play him over 21 minutes a game.  The evidence is there for all to see.  As a rookie Murphy (then Park) was on the ice for fewer than 19 minutes each outing and led all rookie dmen in scoring with 31 points! That's 20% MORE production with 15% less ice time!  No other free agent can offer you that kind of bargain!  On defense does your team need an enforcer? My client spent his junior career damn near leading the league in PIMs and I promise you I can convince him to return to his fighting ways.  All you need to do is say the word and I'll tell him all the mean things other teams are saying about his mama.  Just give me a call once you've signed all of the players that are actually good and need to fill out your roster.  I can guarantee that Murphy will be available and literally the first team to come knocking can have him.


(This post was last modified: 05-06-2021, 05:22 PM by Mazatt.)

Edmonton, what is there to say about Edmonton that everyone doesn't already know? Edmonton is surrounded by the Rocky Mountains*, we feature glorious lakes*, ski houses*. There are great offroading experiences available all across the city that aren't trying to drive through potholes*. You can enjoy lush scenery with beautiful glacial waterfalls*. Theres fishing*, horseback riding*, hiking opportunities*. And finally, there are great golfing opportunities in and around the city. Within the team you have great opportunities to learn. Edmonton has a storied history of success with the longest active SHL playoff streak, and multiple cups. There aren't many other teams you can look at and say "They've taken Hamilton to 7 games and also got reverse swept by Winnipeg over a 3-season span." That kind of history makes it very hard to turn down Edmonton as a team you'd want to play for in the near future!

* = Information provided by Jason Kenney, may be refuted by experts who denote that this is just footage of Banff in the Rocky Mountains which is 4+ hours from Edmonton

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To start, the San Francisco Pride are a team on the rise. With incredible young players, they have the promise to bloom into a perennial contender and force within the league. With a key free agent addition, it could help propel them to this spot quicker as they look to cement themselves as one of the top team's in the league. HLO and friends will soon be taking over.

On top of the bright future of the team, San Francisco is a lovely city with beautiful beaches, picturesque views, and landmarks like the Golden Gate Bridge. It's sunny for most of the year, and any of you crazy Canucks will absolutely love the mild temperature comparative to many areas of the north and comfortable temp year round.

Between both the city and the team, San Francisco has an absolute ton to offer and will be a great home for anyone who decides to hop in with them. Also, you get to wear some beautiful jerseys, and everyone knows, good looking uniforms are an extra 10% to your skills.

Battleborn  Finland     [Image: QwTZD8C.png]   [Image: uJXrVDL.png]  [Image: iemKOIk.png]     Finland  Battleborn

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Hamilton is the top team in the SHL this season. The Steelhawks are clicking and making magic happen. Hamilton has been a top team for a long time, demonstrating its winning culture. High performance is expected and usually achieved. The management have set up the team to be a winning machine for a long time now. There is a very active community in the team’s discord. Active discords are a big draw and I don’t think I have been in a more active fantasy sports team discord. There are a lot of quality people and characters on the team and apart of the team’s alumni. This affords valuable knowledge that players can take advantage of. Signing with Hamilton could be a great opportunity for a free agent looking to perform well on a winning team. If any team has the best shot at the championship, it’s probably in Hamilton. Hamilton will give you the best chance at winning it all.

Reed Kobo - Winger - #33
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Elijah Jones - Winger - #33 Retired
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Toivo Kosonen - Defenseman - #33 Retired
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Do you like the cold? We got it. Do you like snow? We got it. Do you like no sun? We got it. Do you also like the sun never setting? We got that too. You can head on north to good old Anchorage, Alaska. We might not have all the other amenities of bigger cities, but we make up for it in good old fashioned camaraderie. You go to any of the local watering holes you are going to get a warm greeting and a cold beer and of course it is on the house. If you are walking down the street, you will get a friendly wave and people will respect your privacy and not ask for pictures. The best thing about Anchorage overall is the breath taking scenery. There are mountains, lakes, and rivers. In the offseason there is nothing better than taking long hikes and just taking it all in. As you realize you are in the best kept secret in the league.

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Well, let's talk about Chicago. To be honest, Chicago is not really a city that I have had much interaction with, given that I was just recently drafted to the Chicago Syndicate. And Newfoundland is quite a long way from the city of Chicago. I will basically just be going off what I see my friends post on Instagram when they get here. We all know Chicago's nickname: beantown. You have got to get out to that famous spot to take a picture with whoever you're coming with. As well, you gotta get that world famous Chicago deep dish pizza. To be honest, the idea of pizza that deep kind of disturbs me, but when in Chicago you have to try it at least once. And I'm pretty sure the Chicago fans would absolutely hate me if I ever said anything disparaging towards the amazing deep dish pizza, so I will refrain from doing so. Try it!

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The Edmonton Blizzard are by far and away the best team in the league, and Edmonton is easily the best place in the league to live.
The Blizzard have a deep young core, headlined by myself, because why shouldn't I headline it? But with our new Co-GM William Hartmann being a young guy, players like Axel Foley in the mix, there is no way we won't be competing for the Cup year in a year out for a long time. Even this season, which has been a bit of a down season were are firmly in the playoff picture.
Edmonton has some really cool things to do. You can go outside and make a snowman. This is true even in July! There is always snow here. And when I say always I mean always. And I enjoyed Minnesota having snow a lot, but Edmonton is a different level. Snow here, snow there, snow white, snow blue. It's amazing if you like snow. If you don't, at least half our games are on the road.
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Class S55
Reincarnated- Class S71

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I believe Winnipeg is the best place for you. With beautiful new logo you will wear your teams clothing with pride and almost everyone will compliment your clothing. You will also experience proper winter and since ice hockey is winter sport you will be able to play even better - you really can't think seriously about hockey when outside is 25 degrees celsius. If you are lucky enough you can experience even -35 degrees, that is something that you will tell your grandkids about when you will get older. Can you experience that in other cities? There are also lots of aboriginal population present in Winnipeg, that will be good for your cultural development and for expanding your horizon. Winnipeg also have large military base close by so you will fell safe here and if you will ask really nice and score more than 50 points in season you might even get a flight in F18 jet.
So city itself is beautiful and safe, team will be successful, all we need is you!

pbe affiliation http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/i...t&p=310429


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