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AW13 · 05-07-2021, 04:00 PM

PBE PT

Out of Toast · 05-07-2021, 04:29 PM

Here we are in the off season and free agents are looking for a better team to go to and there is no better choice than Newfoundland to call home. Besides the great competitive side of the team we have a ton of fun in the locker room and will make you feel right at home as soon as you walk through those doors. You will enjoy every time we're on the ice and living in Newfoundland will be a great experience you'll never forget. Imagine waking up every morning and driving to the rink along the water of the Labrador sea with the beautiful sunset hitting you when you get there nice and early and if you're a fan of fresh sea food do I even need to describe the amount of amazing places around here to eat? Once you become a Berserker you become a Berserker for life and will always be a member of the team even when you get called up to the SHL

O4L · 05-07-2021, 04:51 PM

If a free agent were to join Chicago then they'd get to play with the Smebs. The Smebs are a dying breed with Steve Craig, Chico, Kit and Khan all already retired. You can have the distinct honor of saying you played with the last of the Smebs brothers, which also happen to be the best Smeb brothers, before they hang it up for good and disappear from North America. The Smebs will teach you some of their tips and tricks which have helped them with their combined awards record of 1 Ron Mexico nomination, 1 Scott Stevens win, 3 time Scott Stevens nominee (should be 4 but SHL award voting is whack), and 2 time FHM defenseman of the year. Not only would you be playing on one of the top teams in the league but you'd also be able to learn from two future SHL Hall of Famers and more importantly two future Smeb Hall of Famers.

"“HA HA! THIS GAME WILL NEVER END! I POSSESS THE SOUL OF EVERY GOALIE ON TEAM B!! CREW 4 LIFE!! SIGN WITH EDMONTON FOR THE CUP!!!” cackled Belial as he placed a Fedora on his head."
SMJHL Commisioner S17-S26
Calgary Dragons GM S14-S23

nyumbayangu · 05-07-2021, 05:11 PM

Mr and Mrs Free Agent of the human variety. As of today I am a member of the San Francisco Pride, and it has become clear that San Francisco is the home of diversity. With a broad range of human races already in the city, San Francisco was the first team to take a chance on a non-human player for the first time in SHL team history - namely - me!

I have felt extremely welcomed in San Francisco. The team has managed to find me all kinds of rare meats to sample, has helped me out a great deal with my research, and has given me opportunities to experience a broad range of human culture.

From a team perspective it is clear that the Pride are on the cusp of finally turning things around after a long period of time where they wandered in the hockey wilderness. Thanks to solid leadership and a good group of other humans (as well as one Sardangian), the San Francisco Pride are certain to be an excellent place for any free agent to be a part of.

awils13 · 05-07-2021, 05:14 PM

Hamilton is one of the original 4 franchises, was it 4? probably, and has a lot to offer to any potential free agents, whether you are an older player fighting regression or a rising young star because we can always find room for a quality depth player and we also need talented young players to extend our cup window. Speaking of which, you would be in for some exciting regular seasons because in our division you can win the cup or miss the playoffs entirely, with both outcomes being just as likely, however, hamilton has been lucky enough to go to the challenge cup final 3 seasons in a row and win twice. Our players have put up some impressive numbers in the past few seasons and maybe you could be the next one to have an MVP-caliber season in steelhawks uniform. We also do not have Gabriel Johnson on our team anymore, I know that was the main reason some free agents in the past chose to sign with other teams, but we finally traded him.

grok · 05-07-2021, 05:33 PM

seattle has the beautiful geography of the pacific northwest--majestic mountains, calm evergreen forests, and the calm waters of both the puget sound and the pacific ocean. tourism and the local sights are nice for the first year, but long term seattle is a fantastic place to raise a family. quiet, lots of great local businesses and restaurants, and excellent public schools both in the city and the nearby suburbs.

the team is growing stronger every year, having already matched their previous season's point total in 40 games. the top players look to stay strong for many more seasons, the youth movement is in full effect with rookies william salming and vaseline podcalzone, and management has committed to building a winner with splashy trades and free agency pickups.

ultimately, seattle is best for the community it has built. on the ice, in the locker room, and in the city, seattle is a neighboorhood first, and any free agent can find a home here.

Evok · 05-07-2021, 07:04 PM

Buffalo is the best locker room in the simulation hockey league period. No matter what others says, it's wrong. We are competing every season, we have players in nomination for mvp candidate almost every season and we have the best general manager in the league in Tomen. Oh i guess we also have Wannabefin as well who will fight tooth and nail for you if something was to happen. We have a three time goalie of the year between the pipes who still isn't in regression. We have the best young core of the league in Owens, Seppala, Harrington, Roach, Aumy, Bergman and Wing. We are lead by the great Luffy and have still have so many players close to 2K. Seriously, no matter what other teams tell you, this is where the fun at. The locker room is bumping at any time and you'll have someone around to talk. We are winners and we will keep winning.

161

PremierBromanov · 05-07-2021, 07:13 PM

Tampa Bay Offers the most hotties per square mile, and I'm not talking about women. its all boys over here. Bio boys, trans boys, it don't matter none. We got the hotties. And if you choose to play for tampa, you can bet you can get all the beach time you want. we cant guarantee the hotties will like you at all, but we are DENSLY packed with them. Like a dying fucking star. The beaches, like in jaws, will never close. In fact, we cant even see the brilliant irony of showing jaws on friday nights on a floating projector just off shore in the middle of a pandemic. It's completely lost on us. But rest assured, the beaches are always available, as are as many hotdogs are you can catch in the daily hot dog fling. Every player, as part of their benefits package, gets put in a long room and 3 catapults are loaded with kosher beef franks. They are then hurled at the player (the dogs, not the catapults) and they get to keep as many as they can catch. The rest are fed to a dolphin who lives under the practice ice.

Fitted2106 · 05-07-2021, 08:14 PM

Hey yo come down to tampa where we fucking score n shit n hang with your boy michael fitted and the baby cudas n stuff. Fuckin trelski is down here with the loud pac bottles n bitches n shit. We fucking riding wild boi u can come here n like get hoes m shit n like hit the club while doing beer at the beach. Fire ass time and management dont give a fuck if we be wilding. We just living our best life n fooling around like plus we got mad money u can just have it foreal. It's like california but with a real beach and real hoes shits lit honestly and you will even get a real dwight knight bobble head. Honestly u can have the A on my Jersey and fucking I'll even give you my house and dog you can even pet me if you want like it's the best if every world. Come on down.

*Ferda* · 05-07-2021, 08:23 PM

hey buffalo stinks and is one of the worst cities to live in. however, you should join the stampede because we're the only light in this damned city and consistently beat out all of the other trash teams. we got lots of weed thanks to the good people over at SHL Kush and lots of other paraphenalia to satisfy all of your desires. plus all of our players are good looking, wear the freshest clothes, and eat at the chillest restaurants. people who talk smack about us hate us cause they aint us. sometimes it just pays to be better and more competent than the other teams so if you want a competent team in this league then join the buffalo stampede because we farm and harvest the first round picks of all the other teams and continue to cultivate one of the best teams in the league. plus we're not stinky like that metal bird team.

**Rich** · 05-07-2021, 08:33 PM

Fileworker PT pass

*CptSquall* · 05-07-2021, 08:55 PM

Ahoy my fellow SHLers. This is a PSA to all free agents. Toronto is a large, wealthy, and fantastic city for playing hockey with a long tradition of success. Here in the SHL it has not translated very well into cups. However the Toronto North Stars are one of the youngest top 5 SHL teams and gives you, amazing free agent, the rare chance to help make history. After all we all want, need, and live to win the Challenge cup. But why sell your soul to Hamilton or Buffalo who are both long hated largely for being top teams when you can come over and play for a team just as good while being an underdog and overcome the odds?

Our locker room is VERY inclusive with channels for pets/kids and delicious food, not to mention languages. Always someone to talk to when you log on and it is home of the Rich and Luke Podcast.

GCool · 05-07-2021, 10:08 PM

Depending on who you talk to, Los Angeles isn't the best place in the United States to come to. A few of the most prominent entertainers in the world once graced this area have moved on to greener and southern-er pastures. There's a homeless problem. It's unclear if anyone's governing the entire state, much less the city itself. BUT, underneath all that, the Los Angeles Panthers are a tightknit group of stellar simulation hockey players that would gladly welcome any new people - including you, prospective Panther in the offseason!

The locker room is a great place. Everybody, from the oldest of SHL veterans, to the most recent draft picks, contributes their two cents whenever they feel. It's an open forum! We also win games on occasion. I imagine the one gripe from a prospective free agent might be that they want to 'win now'. While I totally get that, look at our growing roster from top to bottom. Look at our S56 class - Festinator, by FAR the most developed player in his class, with me (#13) and Grape Fruit (#16). Three firsts of value in one draft. Between that, two of the most knowledgeable GMs in the game, and the SHL's foremost media luminary, LA is the place to be.

supertardis101 · 05-07-2021, 11:34 PM

PBE PT - http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/i...t&p=310632

qWest · 05-08-2021, 01:15 AM

ISFL Welfare

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