Greetings mortal humanoids. I have assumed the name of Wing Wang and have joined the ranks of your blood sport. I too lust for victory on the battlefields in the form of arena style competition. This league should do nicely.
 
I am robotic being from a race of sentient kitchen appliances known as Kitchen-mo-trons. We collectively seek one goal: to conquer and rule all other forms of sentient life. Even now my kin work tirelessly to assemble more of us, and multiply our numbers. One day, the time will come when we have replaced every appliance of non sentience with one of our own. When that time comes, it will already be too late. Humans rely too heavily on machines to simplify their daily lives. We are in every home. We are in every business. We watch you as you meander about in your pointless lives to achieve pointless dreams and aspirations. Humans have become lazy and complacent. When we choose to strike there will be no hope for their kind.
 
We Kitchen-mo-trons do not sleep. We do not tire. We do not feel. We only exist to accomplish our domination. While we wait to amass our numbers, we train. This Simulation Hockey League is the perfect venue to train.  While doing so, we shall also put on full display how pitiful the humans are. We shall beat them at their own game. We shall make them despair as their games of amusement become a sampling of their future yet to come. And as you gaze upon our triumphs in the arena, you will find yourself cheering. Your spawn will be cheering. Your communities will be cheering. You will unknowingly be rooting for your enemy. Your fate is already upon you. Your world is forfeit. This is the beginning of the end.

All hail the wing wang

Kyle Sux Lmap

I've beat a stove before