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grok · 05-26-2021, 02:41 PM

It's been four seasons since I joined Seattle as a Co-GM, and it's been a really rewarding time. I've gotten to spend a ton of time working with some great friends on the site, done some really fantastic drafting and locker room growth, and turned the corner from a 40 point expansion team to a 78 point division contender that's only getting better. The room is full of absolutely fantastic people, which is great for a team that doesn't have a ton of alumni presence, and I think our drafting and trading have done a lot to make it a great environment. For building from almost nothing a few seasons ago, we've turned Seattle into something special.

That said, while I absolutely love our culture, I'm starting to get flashbacks. I remember leaving the Detroit management position because of the culture around team management. I remember how nasty and mean-spirited people can be on this site when they tie up their identities in their team affiliations. I was suddenly reminded of just how shitty people can be when they get so deeply ingrained in their own culture they forget the human on the other side of the keyboard. Some people are very competitive by nature and use SHL as an outlet. For a bunch of people it's healthy and lighthearted fun, and I get that. But for me, I immediately felt myself falling back into that really dark place, where the competition was unhealthy and taking a toll on both my mental health and my personal time. Participating in it just made me feel bad about myself, and that's even before hearing about people being rude and disrespectful second-hand or witnessing the constant dogpiles on certain individuals and teams. Put simply, managing was only fun when I was siloed off in my own locker room. I left every locker room and SHL discord server except GM chat, Seattle, and the dev discord to try and isolate myself so I wouldn't feel terrible day in and day out. It barely helped.

At the same time, I really feel like the site is starting to pass me by. I just feel like a relic of an SHL long far gone. It hasn't even been that long since I joined in 2018, but as I'm approaching my 3 year anniversary on the site I'm recognizing how differently I view the site and the sim. I have my opinion of what "Simulation" would mean, but it's very different from what some coaches and managers I've spoken to believe. There's not a problem with that--it's how communities grow and evolve--but the more people I speak to the clearer it is that I'm in the minority. It feels like I personally disagree with some of the coaching and management decisions it takes to be competitive, and it's not fair to make Seattle's players depend on a manager with that mindset. I'm good at building, but I'm not a competitive manager the way I was with Detroit. I had an overwhelming feeling of incompetence all season, like someone with a more modern sim ideology would do a better job than me. I still feel that way.

When I joined the Seattle Argonauts as Co-GM, I told Tig two things very clearly. I told him that this is the only team I would do this for, and that my time as co-GM would be temporary. Now that Seattle is in a great place and ready to make the step to a contender, I know that my time has come. During preseason, I tendered my resignation as the co-GM of the Seattle Argonauts, effective at the end of the season. Now is the time for Seattle to transition from building to competing, and I know that someone with a competitive skillset will be so much more effective in the role than I would be. I love the team and what we've made, I just recognized that it was time to move on and let someone else have the reins.

That doesn't really seem like all, though. I mean it when I say the site has passed me by. The culture feels the same on the surface, but the attitudes towards the sim that ties us all together just don't connect with me as much anymore. I guess what I'm saying is that Dee Centerman IV is probably the end of my time here. I owe Tig a hall-of-famer for his very first franchise draft pick, but once Centerman IV does his time I think that's it. I've done some things I'm really proud of on this site: working with the dev team on the new index, publishing some absolute banger media, my stints with the J HO and commissionership. Hell, I have a trophy named after my first player. Not many people can say that. I think that legacy, plus whatever Dee can pull off, is enough for me to hang up the skates for good. It's probably a year or so out from leaving, but my Seattle resignation is the start of my farewell tour.

I know being sentimental in this way is how you get made a meme around here so have your fun, but it just feels like the right time to be open with how I'm feeling about the site and my career here. I hope I get to make a couple new memories in the next year so I'm not just reflecting on the good ol days like some washed up rocking chair shitbag, but maybe I'm already that shitbag.

I'll have a stupider and sappier post when Dee finally quits, but for now thanks for the memories (even if I hate your guts).

***notorioustig*** · 05-26-2021, 02:45 PM

Thanks for everything buddy. It was great getting to team up again, just like old times. We've made huge strides and having you around for support during the early days of the franchise meant a ton to me and always will.

Argonauts

***Gwdjohnson*** · 05-26-2021, 02:49 PM

Best co-gm in franchise history to date Argonauts

You were a great co to take Seattle through their formative years and your player will go down as one of the franchise's best draft picks

ValorX77 · 05-26-2021, 02:54 PM

Henrik · 05-26-2021, 03:19 PM

Havn't had the chance to really get to know you in my time on this site Grok, but by all accounts you seem like one of the better people on this site and I have nothing but respect for you. Sad to see you go, this community will be a poorer place without you around.

reid · 05-26-2021, 04:15 PM

O captain my captain

***sve7en*** · 05-26-2021, 04:28 PM

Grok :(

DELIRIVM · 05-26-2021, 04:31 PM

Found it really chill to get to know you on Vancouver. Always seemed like a really good dude. Hope everything goes well for you moving forward!

Urq660 · 05-26-2021, 07:11 PM

DeletedAtUserRequest · 05-26-2021, 07:24 PM

From what I’ve seen you’ve done some fine work here on the site.
Thank you.

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Nhamlet · 05-26-2021, 07:34 PM

I appreciate having gotten to interact you and see you come back. Always appreciated your perspectives as well as how well you were able to communicate those thoughts.

Hope I'll still get to bump into you somewhere. I'm sure you'll enjoy the reduced stress in your day.