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Tylar · 06-21-2021, 09:21 PM

Liam Slate is a Welsh born hockey player currently playing for the Toronto Northstars in the Simulation Hockey League. Liam Slate was drafted first overall in the Simulation Major Junior Hockey League Draft in S54. Since then Liam Slate has shown absolutely nothing but that he is a bust. Liam Slate went 18th overall in the Simulation Hockey League draft and has since done really nothing to show much better. Liam Slate is a mediocre player who probably won't amount to much in the Simulation Hockey League. Thus far Liam Slate's only success is that he was carried to a Four Star Cup championship in S55 from the fourth line of a stacked team. Sad isn't it. Liam Slate is likely one of the worst first overall picks from the Simulation Major Junior Hockey League Draft in recent memory and his current Simulation Hockey League career is lackluster to say the least. Liam Slate does not have much going for him so maybe he will one day figure it out, but probably not. SAD.

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06-21-2021, 11:19 PM

Twelve Forty-Seven Fifteen checked his wikipedia page the other day. He does this fairly often, actually, but you would too if you had your very own wikipedia page. To him, it's an affirmation of his fame and his continued existence. He was thusly outraged to learn that someone had changed every single mention of his name to Thirteen Forty-Eight Sixteen. Not only was this infuriating to Twelve, who was working hard to assure himself that he was still the person in the article, it was also just baffling. This person had changed everything - even his name in the title of the page, the caption, and every single mention of his first or last name. Upon a closer look, every single number in the article had been augmented by one. Where a section in his personal life info used to describe an incident when he was eight, it now said nine. A phrase reading "one day" had even been changed to "two day".

tweedledunn · 06-22-2021, 02:06 AM

overdoo · 06-22-2021, 03:07 AM

Conner Hutton is a Canadian hockey player from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Apparently, it went wrong as soon as he was born. Poor guy. Currently, he plays for the New Orleans Specters. That may come as a surprise for some, as he has contributed almost nothing there throughout his career so far. In the juniors, he played for the Carolina Kraken, where he won the Four Star Cup as a rookie. Less won, more carried by the team around him, but you won't see any of those East Coast "Fans" mentioning that. As a kid in the SMJHL, Conner also competed in the World Junior Championship for Team Canada, an honour for anyone, a dream for every kid in the country. So for the IIHF he switched to Czechia. In fairness, with a season with them, he's accomplished the same amount he had with Canada. Except in Czechia he only plays 7 minutes a game. I bet he is looking forward to not making the medal round with them again for another 10 seasons.

***retuperkele*** · 06-22-2021, 04:29 AM

Luukas Lilja is probably the best two-way player in a way no one could have ever imagined, he is always on the other end of the action. When its their time to defend, he skates towards the enemy goaltender - and vice versa, when its his team's time to start an attack, he launches the puck out of their own zone and into the enemy territory as an desperate attempt to relieve pressure from their own end, or probably from his own head

At international competitions across the board, both juniors and adults, if you can call Luukas Lilja one, he has not yet claimed a significant trophy. He holds a 0% win ratio in the international finals, having lost both of his WJC attendings against Finland, the later one adding more insult to injury.

At his juniors club, the Carolina Kraken, Luukas Lilja has more penalties in total, not minutes, than goals for his club. Ending his career in the juniors Luukas Lilja will attend the Hall of Shame ceremony, as he is being described as one of the most notable candidates to be added since Tom Fiddler himself.

Accka · 06-22-2021, 05:13 AM

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Big thanks to Pythonic(first sig evah), Sloth(first LAP sig<3) and Ragnar for their sigs<3

Two time playoffs MVP and two time nominee

Triple gold club

Discord: asska

*takethehorizon* · 06-22-2021, 09:13 AM

SewingWithNancy · 06-22-2021, 09:25 AM

Sean Gatez

Sean Timmothy Gatez (born February 14, 1998) is a American professional ice hockey defenseman for the Los Angeles Panthers of the Simulation Hockey League(SHL). He was selected for some reason that we still cant figure out, in the first round, third overall, by the Panthers in the S57 SHL Entry Draft. This pickup will prove to be one of the biggest busts the league has ever seen. Hailing from Denver CO (Americas lamest city) Gatez spent his time at DU riding the Pine so much that you would think he was part of the bench. The Maine Timber seemed to like the fact that he was part tree enough to add him to their roster (We assume it was a full on pity pickup). Spending 4 LONG seasons with Maine, he proved to the Juniors that he couldn't lead, and unfortunately let the team flounder for his entire tenure. Getting called up to the SHL is the best thing that ever happened to Maine, as they know they are off-loading a pylon onto a blind LA locker room.

WC: 190

kikish18 · 06-22-2021, 09:55 AM

Kriss Labsvards (born June 18, 1996), commonly spelled as Latvian Bastard in North America, is a Latvian former professional ice hockey player. During his professional career, he was 3-time Challenge Cup winner and 3-time gold medal winner with his international team Latvia and never won 4-star cup, which denies his legitimacy to Tripple Gold club.

Despite decent performance as SMJHL rookie in the next season he played worse and was outplayed by Mars Simeon the III. As the result, Labsvards was drafted in the 2nd round and 18# overall by Calgary Dragons. There were rumors that he was wanted in 1st round because of his activity but eventually was selected later because of lower TPE even though he joined SMJHL in a midterm. He lost in the Ryan Jesster award race to his former linemate Lionel Byrde. Labsvards was 3 points behind and missed his last game of the season because of injury (fact). The sophomore season was his worst performance for a long time. He switched from offensive scorer-type defenseman to stay-at-home defenseman in the middle of his career because the Calgary Dragons roster was full of better and younger talents. He played for Calgary Dragons for 20 seasons although his last 5 seasons were poor performance. Also, he was a team Captain for a while.

Renomitsu · 06-22-2021, 11:08 AM

Emilia Bergman (born 19 July S36) is a Swedish professional ice hockey defenseman on the second line for the Buffalo Stampede of the Simulation Hockey League (SHL). Bergman was selected fifth overall by the Stampede at the Season 54 SHL Entry Draft, though this is largely regarded to be a mistake provided she's very smelly and not really all that talented.

Bergman is best-known for her late start to hockey, having failed out of a career in competitive figure skating, earning her a reputation as one of the league's least-accomplished players. Since S54-55, she has failed to approach anything resembling a complete or statistically impressive season in shot blocks, hits, plus-minus, or any advanced statistics, one of very few players to do so as a highly-drafted player who has remained active through her first 6 seasons. Unfortunately, Buffalo seems to be unable to get rid of the Swedish defenseman and have failed to win the league championship in any season since she has been called up.

Thelastheraclid · 06-22-2021, 11:30 AM

Nat Emerson was supposedly a defender for the Baltimore Platoon before admitting he was a pylon and switched to forward to stay away from playing big time minutes. A completely selfish player, Emerson stole as many shot blocks as he possibly could during the Baltimore rebuild. Reportedly, he went so far as to wear pads that were slightly larger than legally allowed in the SHL in order to get a few more blocks in each year. It is common knowledge that Emerson stayed on the Platoon during the rebuild not because he loved the city or his teammates. No, instead he stayed so that he could be the big fish in a small hockey pond gobbling all the attention for himself. The city itself despises Emerson. Locals refer to traffic cones as Emersons and parents warn their children of Santa Claus leaving Emerson jerseys instead of presents under the tree for naughty children. Emerson will easily go down as one of the least noteworthy defender not just in Platoon history but in all of SHL history.

*roastpuff* · 06-22-2021, 12:28 PM

Magnus Liljestrom (Örnsköldsvik, Sweden) is a mediocre player for the Tampa Bay Barracuda (previously playing for the Winnipeg Aurora) who can barely skate, can barely shoot and has the IQ of room temperature butter. For some reason he was selected second overall in the S52 SMJHL draft, and first overall in the S53 SHL draft, even though he has not lived up to his promise, and has in fact fallen behind in TPE to some dude with hair. His team has also done quite mediocre in the past few seasons, showing that he is of no impact on or off the ice, and Liljestrom couldn't handle the heat or the criticism, deciding to depart Winnipeg for Tampa Bay, where he has been mediocre as usual during preseason.

Physically, Liljestrom is weak, has a terrible shot, and less than stellar vision on the ice. He is easily confused and treated as a pylon by the faster players on the ice.

GrannyPanPan · 06-22-2021, 01:04 PM

Granny PanPan is probably the dumbest defenseman in the SMJHL. He was the a top pair defenseman for Team Sweden this year and got to enjoy a nice 18-0 loss to DACH because he doesn't know how to defend. He didn't even get drafted into the J, he completely forgot to sign up for it and wound up having to beg GMs to sign him. That's how that happened. Dropped to the third round of the SHL draft because he sucks and BAP wasted their only pick of the draft on him, only to realize their mistake and trade him. Probably won't be long before Manhattan trades him now. Granny PanPan was a -87 in his rookie season, and even on a much improved Carolina team only finished as an even 0, which is even worse than his previous -95 cause at least pick a thing, if you're gonna be bad be bad, if you're gonna be good then be good, don't be a coward and stay in the middle with an even plus/minus.

sulovilen · 06-22-2021, 01:36 PM

Walton Stromberg is a "hockey player" for San Francisco Pride. Stromberg is the most notorious for playing his junior career for Maine Timber. In Maine the team kept being destroyed by real hockey teams, mostly Newfoundland Berserkers. Also, living in Maine is something nobody should have to go through, so Stromberg has been through a lot and it did leave a mark on him. During his junior years he was drafted to San Francisco Pride (my condolences). After making the pick, San Francisco realized that they have to start a major rebuild to ever recover from the draft. After Walton Stromberg's junior career in Maine was done, he made the leap to the San Francisco Dumpster Fire, where the team was, at least with the addition of Stromberg, ready to break some records. In his rookie season Stromberg was able to gather a whopping of -41, which is something most hockey plaers aren't capable of. Being from Finland, he's usually silent, depressed and/or drunk.

***Reno*** · 06-22-2021, 02:04 PM

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