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Rotti · 06-24-2021, 12:21 PM

Rotticus Scott, Forward on the Hamilton Steelhawks. He is a big idiot and also a dummy, I hate him. He is notable for forcing his way off of multiple teams, and being a well known locker room cancer, to put it lightly. He is not very good at hockey, and any awards he has won have been because he got carried. He was drafted in the third round in the SMJHL, and the first in the SHL, and didn't finish his career with either team, traitor! In fact, the teams he left have gone on to win championships within a few years of him leaving, at two different levels this has happened. He is clearly the issue, and he must be stopped before he does it again. Rotticus Scott is currently a wanted man by the Simulation Hockey League head office, and if you have information about his whereabouts you should contact Nour Harrak at this instant to receive a cash award.

BrewskyBoy · 06-24-2021, 12:23 PM

Noah "Little D" Brusky is an American-German ice hockey player that currently attempts to play defense for the Texas Renegades in the Simulation Hockey League. He shocked the world in his rookie season of juniors when he was named as the most committed player in the league. This undeserved accolade tricked general managers at the professional level into thinking he would be a high draft pick and a cornerstone for any franchise for many seasons to come. As such, Texas mistakenly traded up in the draft just to select him with the second overall pick and the first defenseman to be taken in the draft. Early in his career he proved to be up to the challenge and lived up to that high draft pick, but it wasn't long before he was passed up by a number of his draft classmates. Two defenders that were drafted after him have shown to be much better players. Noah was lucky enough to win the championship in S59 with a Texas team that basically carried him to the finish line.

Frick_Nasty · 06-24-2021, 12:53 PM

Bork Lazer is a simp, he obviously is not a Chad and is horrible at being a defensive player in the simulation hockey league. This is why he has changed so many teams in such a short career. Not even playing for new Orleans Second Line and they aren't good. To getting carried by the Hamilton Steelhawks for two championships. To now being bigger than he really is by conning not only the franchise of Philly to conning the entire state of Pennsylvania into thinking Bork Lazer is worth being the first ever player for the Phillidelphia Forge. Honestly Bork Lazer should have stuck with fighting and getting his ass kicked there instead of wasting his and our time in the simulation hockey league. At least when he was fighting professionally we got entertainment for him getting his ass beat. Now at this point it is just sad. Sorry excuse of a hockey player and a scum of a human being as well.

*puolivalmiste* · 06-24-2021, 03:35 PM

Björn Leppänen is failed example of Finnish hockey player who has time and time again brought his national team down ever since he was let on ice with their junior team. His professional career isn't much to write home about as he was mistakenly drafted to Vancouver during season 49 SMJHL draft as the team didn't scout him and missed that he was seen as enforcer after his breakdown in Finnish Junior tournament.

He managed to get thrown out only 18 seconds into his first playoffs game which showed how much he could contribute to Vancouvers playoffs efforts. During his 2 seasons there they only won a series even though they had won the cup before Leppänen joined the team.

He also got drafted to SHL by Texas Renegades who also didn't scout him and only took him at end of the second round after everyone who had scouted him already passing over him. His SHL career hasn't been anything to write home about, he even failed to set team record with -51 in a season as his defensive pair managed to hit -52 same season. I think he might have won the cup but who cares.

zaynzk · 06-24-2021, 03:51 PM

PBE affililate

Muford · 06-24-2021, 04:04 PM

Vladmir Petrov, better known alias as Vladmir Pootrov, is known as the worst Petrov brother in the world. He plays, if we can even call it that honestly, for the Tampa Bay Barracuda. We still haven’t figured out why the Tampa Bay Barracuda have kept him on the roster, for the simple fact that he is bringing the whole organization wrong.

Known as a straight choke in all aspects of hockey, Vladmir has been a huge bust thus far throughout his career. He couldn’t break out in Anchorage when he was there in the minor leagues, and many people, including Vladmir himself were surprised that he was drafted and even called up by the Tampa Bay Barracuda. He is known to be a locker room cancer as well, so Tampa is lucky that the team is just not in shambles at the moment. Vladmir is anxiously awaiting to retire so he can no longer plague the great sport of Hockey.

(160 words)

*littleb* · 06-24-2021, 04:40 PM

Daedalus James, a simpleton and a sluggish hockey player was drafted somehow 33rd overall in the S56 SMJHL to the Detroit Falcons. He was slow and dim witted having his biggest accomplishments on ice being how many drinks he can have before hitting it. He made the playoffs every season, only because every team does in that league and managed to win a whopping zero series with Detroit before moving on to his SHL club the San Francisco Pride. There he managed to contribute nothing to a third line except be a pylon that occasionally some equally horrible player hit him with a shot. It may have helped if it didn't look like he ate 25 pies a night before he came to training camp as you could see his gut from a mile away. Slow and incapable at defending I am sure any day now he will be let go to the free agent pool so he can open a hotdog stand on the corner of the street.

Dewalt27 · 06-24-2021, 06:19 PM

Golden Face is a Dangerous Villain who has no regards for others or their feelings. Sure he’s a decent skater and his aggressiveness will translate nicely into the SHL but he has yet to show any true progress. Its believed that he has spent most of his time planning to blow up all-star game venues rather than spending time on the Ice working on improving his hockey game. We all know that he is close friends with the president of the united states who owns all the stadiums. Rumor is that Golden Face has been blowing them up for the president so that he can collect insurance money from the properties. This monster should be in prison rather than getting paid millions of dollars to be a star hockey player in the SHL. Golden face stats are underwhelming and he has only made one all-star game. How can I forgive him for killing my wife when he’s so bad at hockey?

Fitted2106 · 06-24-2021, 06:46 PM

Michael fitted is a professional hockey player in the shl for the Tampa bay barracuda. He has been a career bottom feeder and absoulte joke of a player for a long time. This guy has the heart of an aunt and is aunt jrs bitch. Theres nothing g he has ever been good at and also played for a team that went 0-50. This guy litterally has always been a locker room cancer and refuses to become a member of a team wide fraternity. It's my honest opinion that hes just not worth the headache and I wouldent be suprised if he ends up without a job soon. Who knows what this guy will do to screw up a team he has made big time resentful remarks that he doesnt resent. Typical pittsburgher to as he always yells about pierogies. Just keep your distance and dont trust this guy hes a team killer.

This page was edited by Aumy Jr. On june 21st

Thunfish · 06-24-2021, 09:29 PM

Anton Harrier (born on March 27th, 1996 at Edinburgh, Scotland) is a Scottish-born Irish fictional ice hockey player and professional skateboarder currently signed to the Nevada Battleborn as team cheerleader and Pokémon safety expert, although rumours remain that he's been seen trying to block shots so that his team's goalie isn't forced to work his socks off. To this day, some believe he chose the wrong profession in life, his skills of looking like Tony Hawk, getting roped into trouble, possibly having connections to the casino mafia of Nevada and overall nice guy act compose the profile of someone that doesn't put the work into practice for the sport he's supposed to play for.

He was drafted by the Manhattan Rage on the second round, although the organization is not sure if they shall keep him for the future, given how little he has contributed to his team since joining them.

***luke*** · 06-24-2021, 09:40 PM

Luke Thomason was born in a small village in the Czech Republic, to a mother and a father. His little brother was born 3 years after you( and the hyperlink goes to his wiki page, which shows his small career in the Czech republic). When he was 10 years old he was recruited to the big club in his country, and he started to get noticed quickly by international scouts. By Age 15 Thomason was getting noticed a lot by SMJHL scouts, and he got drafted 43rd OA to the Vancouver Whalers. While in Vancouver, he was on the 4th line, playing the best hockey of his life. his first season in the league, his team went all the way to the finals, eventually losing to the Kelowna Knights. After his first season in the SMJHL, Vancouver went on a run again, winning the cup on his 2nd season with Vancouver. Also, he was drafted and signed to the San Francisco Pride.

**Lime** · 06-24-2021, 10:12 PM

Steve Harrington is a forward for the Buffalo Chokers. After being drafted way too high in both the S52 SMJHL and S53 SHL drafts, he got his ass carried to a four star cup at the last minute by a stacked team in Newfoundland. Harrington was not present for the S55 cup win in Buffalo, so its is entirely true that Buffalo has done jack shit since he started actually playing for them. Experts agree this is entirely his fault. Despite the entire team pitching in to help him win the Jesster award in his rookie year, he still lost to Edward Williams. Again. Since that somewhat ok season he has basically been invisible and its a miracle he has been employed by such a high caliber team, let alone any time, for as long as he has. Clearly he has some dirt on the GMs or he would be swimming with the fish in Tampa by now. For the love of god someone ditch this hockey inept loser.

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