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awils13 · 07-18-2021, 02:44 PM

Aaron Wilson is not very bad at that hockey thing but unfortunately he's not very tech-savvy and his social media accounts have been hacked multiple times in the past because he keeps clicking phishing links like "can you be a good hockey player if you're terrible at passing? the answer may surprise you". Worst of all, recently someone was able to get remote access to Wilson's laptop without his knowledge, so they had access to everything, social media accounts, messengers, browser history (awkward), credit card info, and so on. The funny thing is this was during the offseason at the time when Wilson's agent was still negotiating an extension with Hamilton, and one morning they tweeted from his account "Thank you Hamilton for the last 10 seasons but I felt like it was time for a new chapter in my career, so I'm signing a 10x10 contract with the Seattle Argonauts". Which was very embarrassing because even if I do leave Hamilton, I'm certainly not signing with whatever team Gabriel Johnson is on. Tig is cool tho.

*kenvald* · 07-18-2021, 02:47 PM

Well, here's something I never really thought would happen to me. Which was a bit naive, I admit. Someone somehow got a hold of the details of one of my credit cards. I didn't really notice it at first. But after looking closer at my card statement they made a small purchase at Starbucks about two weeks ago. I've heard they do that to verify that the card actually works. I never go to Starbucks so I should've known something was off if only I was actually monitoring my spending.

Now, a $12 purchase for a fancy coffee isn't the end of the world for me. However, what they did yesterday is gonna take quite a while to clean up.

My bank called me about a handful of suspicious purchases that had occurred quickly one after the other. They had racked up $18,000 worth of bath bombs before the bank put a hold on my card. Seriously, bath bombs! Apparently the bank 's fraud algorithm let it through because it thought I was buying them for charity or something.

They still haven't figured out who got a hold of my card. But I got a new one now, and the bank has agreed to pay me back. But of course there's a lot of paperwork left to do...

GrannyPanPan · 07-18-2021, 02:52 PM

they took my credit card. they stole it. they beat me up and stole it from me.

I thought I was safe to wander the streets. I thought my big hockey man strength would protect me. It didn't. Now my credit card is gone. I had so much money and they spent all of it. They bought all of the froggy chair. I wanted the froggy chair so bad and they bought all of it. How could they do this to me. They took everything from me. They bought a hockey stick with my credit card and beat me with it, and then they stole all my clothes and did a press interview calling everybody on the Carolina Kraken a "poopyhead." They're not poopyheads I love them but now they're all mad at me but it wasn't even my fault. I don't know who did this but they're really bumming me out please stop

Steelhead77 · 07-18-2021, 02:57 PM

One of the worst things possible happened to Esa Parmborg... someone stole his phone and started an instagram account in support of eating vegetables and exercising! They made it look like Parmborg was pro-vegetables and healthy eating/living. Obviously with his parm-laden persona this was devastating. His fans thought he was a total sell out and had gone soft, people were burning their XXL Parmborg jerseys in the streets! Worst of all he was being contacted by fitness professionals who were supporting his life style change and healthy choices. Ugghhh gross, fitness professionals?!?! People who like exercising and being active... and eat vegetables and salads... /puke. I could not think of anyone Parmborg has less in common with! It's going to take a long time to recover from this. Parmborg is working his way back, he has since deleted the account and started anti-vegetables and unhealthy living accounts on instagram, along with a wesbsite that rewards people who take the least amount of steps a day on their pedometer. He hopes to get many of his former followers and fans back. He found out who did this to him... it was that darn Kata Vilde! @BarnabasCollins

---> ParmBorg Highlights <---

#1 All-Time SHL Goal & Point Scorer
- First 2,000 TPE Player in SHL History -
- First 400 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- Only 500 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- First GM to Win 5 & 6 Challenge Cups -
Esa Anrikkanen Award - SMJHL ROY - Est. S34
Vidrik Onoprienko Award Winner - S45

Dragonite

Skeleton Party · 07-18-2021, 03:36 PM

Oh no! Someone stole Name Redacted's identity!

I'm pretty sure they can get away with some old sweaters or something from a thrift store, given the barren bank account Name Redacted keeps. He's always been of the mind that you only need to make as much money as you intend to spend that season, so Name Redacted hasn't spent a ton of effort making more than he really needs to. This allows him to be a good teammate and keep plenty of room in cap for his team.

That said, with Name Redacted's identity he could probably score some prime VIP time at some of Manhattan and Vancouver's gentlemans clubs. The perpetrator may want to be a bit careful about which places they visit however, as Name Redacted has burned a few bridges and left a few exorbitant tabs throughout both cities. The identity thief may find themself with a few broken kneecaps for their troubles.

Frick_Nasty · 07-18-2021, 04:15 PM

apparently there is someone who decided to steal bork lazers identity. If i was going to make an assumption of who would do such a thing it would be mikkel asmus sondergaurd. think about it. The guy is obsessed with me. He wishes he could be better than me and with that he would want to try and literally become me. If i go missing and i start walking around like a leatherface look alike of bork lazer it is probably mikkel asmus sondergaurd wearing my skin to be me entirely. I mean i cannot blame him. I am the better looking man. I am the better defenseman. I am literally better than him at everything except wanting to be a winger so bad. He probably got my information when i had to sign up for the league. I got a random email from [email protected] asking for my social security number and my bank account information. My guess is he is the man behind this.

Ronniewalker · 07-18-2021, 04:20 PM

Lemo Pihl just recently found out that his name and likeness has been used by someone in a con scheme to defraud old ladies out of their life savings and pension monies in the eastern european region.

The perpetrators have been sliding up to their gullible victims on the internet posing as a low league hockey player in China that has unbeknowst him been contractually tied to his team in a way that leaves him with no rights whatsoever apart from training and playing for the team. He is said to be prohibited to leave the team's compound except for the team's games and all his pay is kept "safe" for him until his contract ends in 2032, unless his contract is for some reason "bought out" from the team by some third party.

Nonsense, obviously, but apparently the letters that this so-called "Lemo" has been sending all these little old ladies present his case emphatically enough for many of them to actually send the "team" money transfers of up to thousands of euros!

Now that Lemo has been made aware that such a scheme is being perpetrated with his name and likeness, he has immediately gotten his lawyer to investigate the matter in order to bring those greedy evildoers to justice and has also helped return some of the stolen money from his own pocket.

Sigs by sulovilen , Ragnar , supertardis101 , Leviadan , High Stick King , Carpy & KaleSalad

S69 Challenge Cup Champion - Philadelphia Forge Forge

S59 & S62 Challenge Cup Champion - Texas Renegades

S57 Four Star Cup Champion - Anchorage Armada Armada

S57 & S58 WJC / S62, S64 & S66 IIHF Gold Medalist - Team Finland Finland

After 69 shots on net with still no SHL goals to show for it, even the opposition started to feel so sorry for Lemo, that they decided to help him out :D

- Bad pass by Jack Klompus, he gave it right to Lemo Pihl.

- Lemo Pihl rips it to the net...

- Lemo Pihl will find the empty net, that should do it!

TEX @ MAN, S59 game 31

Merica · 07-18-2021, 04:36 PM

Daniel Merica Jr is a popular, cocky son of a bitch. And apparently he refused to give a high five to the wrong fan the other night. This slighted, vengeful fan took serious offense to the snub, and used his hacking talents to get some righteous payback. Merica got an alert about a 15,000 purchase about 8 am, followed by a message from the social security service that his identity appeared to be stolen.

Quite quickly the purchases started racking up, and Merica could dk nothing about it because the genius hacker had taken control of his accounts, changed passwords and taken admin control. Alll he could he was watch his money disappear, and that’s when messages started coming in from the anonymous hacker…

“You arrogant prick, this’ll teach you to treat a fan like dirt”

“I hope you rot in hell. I don’t even care if I go to prison over this, as long as you’re broke and life is ruined.”

Merica is now broke .

***_Blitz_*** · 07-18-2021, 04:45 PM

The punches just keep coming for Danny Marston. After the Porsche recall fiasco, some no-good ne'er-do-well got a hold of Danny's personal information and posted it to the internet. Not only did this doxxing include his personal addresses and phone number, but it also included his bank account information, social security number, driver's license and registration, passport number, and various social media account logins.

Mostly, the mischief has wrought prank calls, some strange and creepy propositional texts, a few death threats which were forwarded to the police, and a lot of people trying to buy stuff on Amazon. Somebody hacked his iCloud account and leaked a bunch of pictures from his high school misadventures. The most creepy and damning was the person who managed to buy a BMW M4, have it delivered to Danny's infrequently occupied house in St. Louis, and took and posted a bunch of pictures of it sitting in the driveway or in his parking space at the Enterprise Center. Danny cancelled all of his credit cards, paid off accounts, and is searching for a new credit card company. Honestly, what kind of protection cancels 150 orders for PS5s alone but lets a luxury sports car through?! The relevant authorities are handling as much as they can to catch the many culprits but some stuff, like the picture of teenage Danny falling off of the T-Rex at Dinosaur World, is out there forever.

Perhaps next season he can shill out as a promoter for LifeLock.

***sve7en*** · 07-18-2021, 04:46 PM

[Image: 1af84016-4a69-43d4-98dc-048424d99089.png]

***Inf1d3l*** · 07-18-2021, 04:49 PM

It took Stan Din'deaque at least 7 months to realize someone had stolen his identity. The bank and credit card companies also had no clue what so ever about the possible theft. The majority of the transactions were to games. Apex Legends, World of Warcraft, etc. These are normal in the gaming life of Stan, whose gaming tag is "JoeBuck Yourself" However once Stan saw transactions for both League of Legends and Fortnite, both terrible games that should burn in the fires of hell, he knew something was wrong. After contacting his bank, it turns out that a 14 year old in Topeka, Kansas stole his information by chance, guessing his card info trying to pay for a game, and when it worked, he kept using it. Stand took it upon himself to reach out to the parents of the child and explain the situation and gave him some merch, as well as a prepaid gift card to keep gaming as long as he remains a loyal fan.

DELIRIVM · 07-18-2021, 05:04 PM

Recently Daniil Nikiforov had his credit cards stolen. The culprits were able to break into his house while he was on the road with his Baltimore teammates. He got a call the night after a game saying that his cards had been used to buy 3 life size, bone-in, sex dolls. All of them with real wolf hair. After being thoroughly confused about the purchases, he went to find out where these were being shipped. Upon returning from the road trip they were scheduled to be delivered to the Baltimore Event Center. Arriving at the event center he saw a large number of Tampa Bay players helping unload large coffin like boxes. Nikiforov approached these players to ask about the objects but was soon blown away by the craftsmanship of the dolls. Each one was the size of a small human with course rough hair all over their body. He was surely not interested but he was supportive of the Tampa players and their blossoming interest in the furry fetish.

[170 Words]

Evok · 07-18-2021, 05:06 PM

SewingWithNancy · 07-18-2021, 05:23 PM

Sean Gatez is known for spending his money at local restaurants and bars. Sean went out last saturday night with his significant other. Not only does he spend money at fancy restaurants he also enjoys a great dirty dive bar. Saturday night Sean started out with dinner and cocktails at 71Above downtown LA. After a great dinner sitting at the Chefs Table, the couple then went to The King Eddy a few blocks away to meet up with some other Panthers. Opening a tab at a dingy dive can sometimes come with some danger. One of the bar-backs from The King Eddy swiped his card number and quickly ran up a tab at Best Buy and Finish Line. The unfortunate part of this spending spree was the credit card company didn't flag it as problematic because Sean spends a lot of money on electronics for his home theater. What made Sean realize something was wrong was that the thief bought 10 pairs of retro Jordans... Sean wears Chuck Taylors. As soon as he saw that purchase he was able to figure out what was wrong.

Toivo · 07-18-2021, 05:25 PM

Identity theft is not a joke! A teammate once stole my identity and was pretty convincing. They had the clothes down right, the mannerisms, the only thing that really gave away the phony was the whole white skin thing. Other than that, the culprit was up to the typical hijinks that happen when one steals your identity. Folks were rolling on the floor over all the crazy shenanigans like when the culprit pretended to drink a cup of water but ended up sloshing it all over the walls and himself. He was trying to make commentary on the way I drink from the water bottle during the games. Not going to lie, it hurt my feelings a little bit, but it’s all apart of the job. Sometimes you just to roll with the punches and that’s what happens when someone steals your identity, a teammate especially. You have to watch out for these jokers because they could cause real serious damage that could affect your branding, financials, etc.

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