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Salming · 11-15-2021, 04:39 AM

Here is a funny joke: "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!" So, that's it. Remember to not try skydiving if you need multiple practise rounds to learn new things.

sakrosankt · 11-15-2021, 04:40 AM

That's a tough one. You know that asking for a joke is like a command to my brain, where I feel like I have never heard of a joke before. Nothing comes to my mind. I just remembered those videos where cats freak out if you secretly place a pickle or cucumber somewhere. Could also be bananas, I don't recall. And when they see it, they freak out. Those vids are kind of funny.

*Evil_AllBran* · 11-15-2021, 05:34 AM

Did you know: A 2014 survey showed that male vampires account for 0% of all unexpected pregnancies. It was found that this is because they need permission to cum inside.

**RomanesEuntDomus** · 11-15-2021, 06:04 AM

Just gotta share one of the most hilarious videos/song covers here that I've found in recent years: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx6S6JPwzbU. That channel has some pretty awesome stuff in general, I can also really recommend the Straight Outta Compton Oktoberfest Edition!

Urq660 · 11-15-2021, 06:51 AM

I feel like my favourite joke in the world dates me somewhat:

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave til it’s bill withers

I don’t think ‘the kids’ are very up on who Bill Withers is, so I turn it around with:

How do you get a pikachu on a bus? Poke him on!!

Never fails*

* often fails

High Stick King · 11-15-2021, 07:17 AM

In my early 20s, we had to park in a bumpy grassy (fairly tall) field at work.

I parked my car like any other day and then went to the job-site, put in my time, then at the end of my shift went back to my car. Started it up, put it in reverse, hit the gas... VROOOOM... engine roars but the car doesn't go anywhere.

WTF? Did I snap my driveshaft or something? Open the door and look at my tires and the are just spinning in place.

Get out and inspect them... asshole co-workers put my car up on blocks just high enough so that none of my tires were touching the ground. They were all hiding behind the workshop watching giggling away and then had the fucking nerve to leave and I had to jack up my car myself and remove the blocks before I could go home. Got pranked on that one.

***mer*** · 11-15-2021, 07:26 AM

My go-to videos for something funny are a large group of people singing the hamtaro theme song and dancing in a circle. They’re the absolute best. Here’s one.

***Inf1d3l*** · 11-15-2021, 07:31 AM

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees!

Ever see an elephant hiding in a cherry tree?

They're pretty good at it aren't they?

Talls · 11-15-2021, 08:20 AM

What happened to the Zamboni driver? The local hockey rink reported he went missing; they hope he resurfaces soon.

Bonus:
Why had the businessman failed to acquire a hockey stadium? His real estate agent could only give him a ball-park estimate.

***JR95*** · 11-15-2021, 08:33 AM

we looked this up the other day in BAP so I figured I'd use it here, but April fools about 4 or 5 years ago me and @Allegiant organized a prank with HO to have the team punished for tampering. No one fell for it at first..until everyone started doubting themselves. we let people wonder all day and the more it went on the more people started to believe. I remember @.bojo was on a vacation of some sort with his wife and we had to tell him early in PMs not to ruin his vacation lol.

Accka · 11-15-2021, 08:54 AM

Sort of a thing that started out as a joke, but then turned into my nickname. We were playing CSGO with my mates and my nick at the time on Steam was Arska. I failed a clutch so a friend of mine called Ass-ka, to mock my play and here we are 6 or something years ago, with it being my nickname ever since.

/

Big thanks to Pythonic(first sig evah), Sloth(first LAP sig<3) and Ragnar for their sigs<3

Three time playoffs MVP and two time nominee

Triple gold club

Discord: asska

***hhh81*** · 11-15-2021, 09:24 AM

One of my favorite jokes of all time is

"Why did the finance bro wrap his expensive car around a tree?
He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends!"

I also have always been a big fan of this bit from a podcast.

Kraagenskul · 11-15-2021, 09:32 AM

Last week, our Zamboni driver disappeared. We searched all over the arena, the city, put ads in the local paper and on television in an effort to find him. We are really hoping he resurfaces soon.

notoriousTRON · 11-15-2021, 09:42 AM

No joke or prank is jumping to mind about the SHL, but I'll take this opportunity to shout out one of my all time favorite St. Louis Blues players Ryan Reaves. The dude had a youtube channel where he just pranked his teammates and I loved it. I miss that dude and I wish he could have been on the cup winning team in 2019.

Sig Cred: Carpy, ML, RainDelay, Donini & Geekusoid

*Katth* · 11-15-2021, 09:47 AM

An American, a European and a Chinese guy are shipwrecked on a beach on a deserted island. The brave American takes charge of the group and starts handing out tasks. I will build shelter for the night. You Europe guy, you go find some wood to build a fire and the Chinese guy, we need something to eat. You go find some supplies. After a while the American and the European guy are back at the beach and each of them have completed their tasks, but the Chinese guy is nowhere to be seen. As they start searching for him near the trees near the beach the Chinese guy drops down from a tree:

SUPLISE!

S50 Challenge Cup Finals Game 7
[Image: gNFVjT6.png]

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