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Matteo · 11-16-2021, 09:23 PM

@Inf1d3l told a good joke in the Quebec City locker room the other day. It went like this:

"What type of shoes do kidnappers wear?"

"White vans"

Had a good laugh from that one.

***SchwarzNarr*** · 11-16-2021, 09:29 PM

this came up today in another locker room i'm in and i both couldn't stop laughing but was also so angry at it:

what is a group of people that never gets angry?

nomads.

**leafs1997** · 11-17-2021, 12:09 AM

You'll know this from NOLA. @Pythonic keeps thinking he's better than me! Tell me if you've heard of a better joke. The only thing he's better than me is TPE and that's only cause he's a season older. Besides that, I play bigger minutes, get more points, get more hits, and contribute more on the special units. Someone help this kid understand.

***Hallsy*** · 11-17-2021, 01:03 AM

@Gwdjohnson is the biggest joke in the shl because he stinks irl, trust me I have sniffed him in real life.

Lole Jk get pranked Gabe you aren't the biggest joke.

*Keven* · 11-17-2021, 03:05 AM

I don't have any one specific joke to tell, but if getting some laughs is the goal of this PT then the best I can do is point you towards the vast library of jokes on Tampa Bay's twitter account. They deserve more than 84 followers. https://twitter.com/barracuda_bay

**OrbitingDeath** · 11-17-2021, 07:08 AM

The biggest joke of last week if how Newfoundland Berserkers shot like 56 times versus our 16 shots, but we beat them 4-3. It is fun seeing my future teammates like Jay O'Neill, Mikko Rashford and Tommy Tightpants try so hard.
Even blindfolded I would have won that game. It definitly gave me a good laugh!

*Festinator* · 11-17-2021, 08:31 AM

I think we can all always appreciate a good anti joke. At least I can.

A patient told the surgeon he couldn’t feel his legs.
The surgeon replied, “I know. I amputated your arms.”

BLBertrand · 11-17-2021, 08:44 AM

Y'all are gonna love this. As a super funny prank, every time we play at home I sneak into the visitor locker room and rip a wicked upper decker in the throne.

SewingWithNancy · 11-17-2021, 09:55 AM

A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you. Don't bother coming after me.”
Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.
She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.
After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.
"She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, I love you"
He hung up, grabbed his keys and left.
She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed.
Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote...
"I can see your feet. We're outta bread: be back in five minutes."

Gifter of Bikes · 11-17-2021, 10:11 AM

11-14-2021, 10:21 PMZootTX Wrote: Why did the chicken jump up and down? She was trying to make scrambled eggs

I had something else I was going to write for my entry, but Zoot's joke reminded me of reading about students from Brigham Young University [known as being a Mormon college] practicing things called "Soaking" and "jump humping" and saying that those things were both "not sexual intercourse" and therefore people who did them were still virgins.

Look, it's not a funny haha joke, but if I had to read about it, so do you.

tweedledunn · 11-17-2021, 10:43 AM

I remember as a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there.

***Acsolap*** · 11-17-2021, 11:15 AM

Well time to go visit my old friend satan.

Whats the similarity between Madeline McCan and a submarine?

They're both at the bottom of the ocean and full of seamen.

Credit to Ml002, King, Wasty, Carpy, Bruins10, Rum_Ham, Turd Ferguson, Ragnar and Enigmatic for the sigs.
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Fluw · 11-17-2021, 11:44 AM

Something funny that’s happened in real life eh? I really can’t think of anything or any jokes which blows but I guess if I would have to choose something it would be my pupper having a dream where he was clearly running as his legs were moving as he slept.

Rotti · 11-17-2021, 11:50 AM

When I wake up and I get that dreadful feeling of going back to work then I realize its saturday and I don't have to work maks me very happy.

the5urreal · 11-17-2021, 11:55 AM

As a dad, I've been trying to up my dad joke game. My daughter is 5 is often says "pacific" instead of "specific" (ugh). To get her to stop, I use this joke which she now just rolls her eyes at (but it's effective!):

What's the most detail oriented ocean?

The Pacific

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