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***micool132*** · 11-21-2021, 01:15 PM

One time @goldenglutes wanted to prank me. He had a water bottle and he wanted me to look in it and then he would splash my face. So I told him I know the trick and it wouldnt work because there was a dent in the water bottle. When he looked for a dent, I crushed the water bottle into his own face!!! L'arroseur arrosé as we say in french hon hon hon.

Mr. Finland · 11-21-2021, 01:57 PM

I remember that one when it was @Rangerjase son birthday and all visitors was almost there, so Nash decided land some shit mines to backyard and @Rangerjase luckily saw it and clean it immediately, before all those kids come play to backyard with his son :D. Good boy Nash!

DELIRIVM · 11-21-2021, 02:18 PM

What do you call 8 hobbits? A hobbyte.

To replace programmers with Robots, clients will have to accurately describe what they want. I think we're safe.

What is the best thing about Switzerland? Well the flag is a big plus.

*kenvald* · 11-21-2021, 02:30 PM

One of the funniest things I've been part of in the SHL was back when I first had joined NEW. We had a team game night and were a few hours deep into Jackbox. One of their weird games has you combine sounds to describe a certain event. One of these sounds is a man saying "Who wants hotdogs?" is a happy tone. And for some reason we all just lost it when it played. Laughed so hard it hurt. Probably because we were all very tired at that point.

PremierBromanov · 11-21-2021, 02:32 PM

every season I prank @Fitted2106 by pouring hot hot-dog chili into his skates before every game. The reality of this prank is that I spend so much time making hot chili before each game that I skip my nap and play poorly, meanwhile Michael Fitted is energized by the chili in his skates and leads the team in goals.

FinnRhys · 11-21-2021, 02:40 PM

Literally had to find a joke online because I am not funny. It isn't good but this is the first hockey one I could find.

What's the difference between a hockey game and a boxing match? In a hockey game, the fights are real.

FINN RHYS

[Image: hockey__27674.1518661372.1000.1200.jpg?c=2]

Jorec · 11-21-2021, 03:07 PM

I got told this one when I was a kid and for whatever reason, it's stuck with me.

A farmer with two sons wakes up one morning to find out that his cow has died in the night. He runs to the nearby river to drown himself and there finds a mermaid. The mermaid tells him that if he can make love to her five times, she'll bring back the cow.

The man does his best but fails to live up to the task, and she drowns him.

The first son wakes and upon finding the cow dead and his father is gone, begin to look for his father. When he gets down to the river, he finds the mermaid. She tells him that if he can make love to her ten times, she'll bring back both the cow and his father.

The son does his best but fails to live up to the task, and she drowns him.

The second son wakes up, and upon finding an empty house and a dead cow, begins to search for his father and brother. When he gets down to the river, he too finds the mermaid. She tells him that if he can make love to her twenty times, she'll bring back his father, brother, and the cow.

The second son looks skeptical at the proposition. "How do I know that making love to you twenty times won't kill you like it did the cow?"

225 words.

***notorioustig*** · 11-21-2021, 03:23 PM

I think the most I've ever made someone want to commit physical harm to me after a joke was when I texted my family group chat "what's the key to a good joke," waited until everyone had seen it/responded, waited another 12 hours, then responded with "good timing"

*puolivalmiste* · 11-21-2021, 03:41 PM

So I didn't bother to type it out so myself so google translate did most of the work but at least it is better than trying to translate puns.

Two boys from Tampere were playing on the outdoor rink when a sharp-toothed dog appeared on the scene, attacking one of the boys. The other boy, who escaped, returned to help his friend and slammed the dog to death with his hockey stick.

Local news paper became interested in the boy's work and sent a reporter to interview the boy. After the interview was completed, the reporter asked, "Shall I headline that brave Tappara-fan saves his friend?"
The boy replied, "Well, don't care really, but I don't support Tappara."
"What about the fearless Ilves-fan saved his friend's life?"
"Well, I don't care, but I don't support Ilves either," the boy said.
"So what do you support?" the reporter asked. "TPS," said the boy.

The next day's paper read: "A juvenile offender from Turku brutally killed a sweet family dog with a hockey stick"

5ympathies · 11-21-2021, 03:47 PM

Something funny that happened here was Samee rage quitting Kelowna cause he didn't get made GM, despite him being a bunch of shit for the team. Spawned a lot of threads, some serious, some meme-y, and me and glutes made a podcast epi about it. Very humorous.

Thanks to JSS for the signature

JT3 · 11-21-2021, 03:56 PM

Valentin Kalashnikov recently pranked Oliver Cleary, and as revenge Cleary fill Valentin's car with little styrofoam packing balls through the sunroof. He's still picking them out weeks later.

Credits to OrbitingDeath, Tweedle, Incite, Wasty, and Slothfacekilla for sigs!

Player Profile | Update Page

LordBirdman · 11-21-2021, 04:55 PM

I have a joke about trickle down economics. But 99 percent of you will never get it

Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they will disappear.

*Leppish* · 11-21-2021, 05:06 PM

I will never not laugh when someone either on SHL or Atlanta or another place comes up with a funny "ligma" style joke. I've seen plenty of good ones and a lot of them are from the king @micool132 himself. Need more of those.

raymond3000 · 11-21-2021, 05:10 PM

I recently finished watching Ted Lasso, and that show was certainly deserving of all the praise it has received. The humour is the show is top notch, and while no particular moments stand out, its overall a very enjoyable experience.

***Air Crou*** · 11-21-2021, 05:18 PM

Most of my jokes are kinda dirty, but I do have a very few select tame ones. One of them goes "Do you want to hear a joke about a wet towel? Well, too bad, it just dried."

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