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***trashae*** · 01-30-2022, 11:42 PM

First things first, I’m gonna crash my defensive partner Adam Barron’s press conference and hold no punches asking him questions around his play with Teddy Murphy. During questioning the social media team can expect hard hitting questions like, “instead of giving away the puck 18 times this season have you considered passing to Teddy Murphy instead to avoid pressure?” and even, “you’ve only got 22 assists so far this season. Why are you so selfish? Are there times on the ice where the better play would be to pass to Teddy Murphy? He has 23 assists and is the only reason you have a single goal let alone 12.” The goal of my interview would be to get Barron to recognize that I’m actually a decent player and my abysmal shooting percentage is all his fault. After the big reveal and release of the video I fully expect the Simulation Hockey Network to reach out and offer a job so I can finally retire and not be stuck with my current partner.

JT3 · 01-30-2022, 11:45 PM

Noel Blanchet, while normally very outgoing and vocal, is not much of a prankster. He never found he was very creative when it came thinking up original pranks and didn't want to re-use the same old ones everyone else does. But one day came where he had the great idea of pretending to be a reporter during a zoom availability for the press. Here are some of the questions he presented to his teammates:

To new teammate Ryu Jones:
Hi Ryu, some fans are upset you did not adopt former platoon Elijah Jones number 33. Now fans must buy a new Jones jersey, instead with number 27. How do you defend such a selfish decision?

To veteran defensemen and locker room jokester Valentin Kalashnikov:
How are you fairing this season without the stunning, amazing, GOAT defensemen and personal role model Oliver Cleary on the team?

To team General Manager Jon Ross:
Do you think the decision to draft Alexei Komarek will work out? The team has a history of drafting busts out of his player agency.

Responses to these questions were unfortunately did not meet the guidelines of television stations and so did not air.

Credits to OrbitingDeath, Tweedle, Incite, Wasty, and Slothfacekilla for sigs!

Player Profile | Update Page

rum_ham · 01-30-2022, 11:53 PM

Nhamlet · 01-30-2022, 11:57 PM

PROMPT 1

The press conference that Minamino thought would be the ideal party to crash was none other than the signing of Andrei Kostitsyn. He was a favorite and unforgettable teammate during their time in Newfoundland together and hearing that management had gone after great lengths into the wild to search for him in order to find a pen to paper deal, was extremely exciting for Minamino and the other former Berserkers. However, as they planned to take part of the reporters and be able to lob up some questions in order to see if Andrei would be aware, they weren't prepared to find that when it came to the press conference starting, Andrei was no where to be found. 5, 10 minutes later there was still no sign of the new signing. The new GMs were visibly frustrated and while Minamino and the gang were also annoyed, they couldn't help but to laugh feeling like it was one of the most Andrei things to do.

And just when people thought they couldn't wait any longer, the man himself walked up to the podium looking like he was just sun tanning on the beach, spoke into the mic "we win" and left.

5ympathies · 01-31-2022, 12:00 AM

Prompt 1:

Ok so here I am, gearing up to interview my teammate, the lovable GWID Grabriel Johnson, for those you don't know a fellow teammate of mine. He plays defense on potentially the left hand side, maybe even the right on the Atlanta Inferno. We're starting off by making fun of his point totals. I'm straight up bullying this kid and he takes it because he loves me. He responds sarcastically as always and then he pretends to get mad at me but he's not really mad at me. We go back and forth a bit. I ask about his ice time. He enjoys how much time he's still getting despite being in the limelight of his career. I ask him how his physicality has an impact on his performance. He responds by letting us know that the hits he has been getting as of late are one of the main reasons that Atlanta has been on such a hot streak this half of the season. I'm not sure if that's a main reason but I'll take his word for it. The interview ends with both of us content.

Thanks to JSS for the signature

***Benpachi*** · 01-31-2022, 12:00 AM

Prompt # 1
To gather as much social media clout as possible, Roderic Banes will be working with the Montreal Patriotes entire Public Relations team to pull off the ultimate prank. A portable toilet will be set up in a location where the team will pause on their team run along the Lachine Canal. When a Montreal Patriote steps in to use the facilities, an air cannon full of confetti under the seat will give them a colourful scare. Then the door will swing open, cameras panning in on their surprised reaction. Just when they think the prank is over, a second, more powerful air cannon will launch the portable toilet, with the hapless Patriote still inside, high overhead and into the canal. TV magic.

Montreal Veteran Stan Din'desque took the prank in good stride, sharing a weak laugh as he was pulled from the canal, running outfit soaked through. Laughs were had by all, and everyone had chance to get launched into the drink.[

***CampinKiller*** · 01-31-2022, 12:03 AM

PROMPT 2

Jonathon, the first half of your season hasn't gone the way you've wanted it, has it?

No, I think it could definitely have gone better than it has so far. I know we're still in the midst of the rebuild, with myself and Roddy coming up and joining the young core we've had here. There have definitely been some positives, for sure, like beating Texas, and coming out ahead of some of the other teams at the bottom of the league. Personally I've not been doing as well as I wanted to. I wanted to build off my last season in juniors to make a run at the Jesster, but it doesn't seem likely right now.

How do you feel looking a few years down the road?

We're taking steps in the right direction and I think that in a few seasons, you'll see us challenging the top teams in the league as our young core really comes into form in the league. I think the future is bright here for sure.

dogwoodmaple · 01-31-2022, 12:09 AM

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