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***hotdog*** · 10-20-2022, 11:15 PM

Philippe Eko Eel has donated his money to charity - in a nod to his teammates and friends around the league, he's surveyed them to inquire about their individual favorite charities and donated to causes in their honor. He's spent lots of time doing community outreach and service in Anchorage but as he nears his callup to Atlanta he's looking to start contributing in a new community. this money was thus distributed around the area to a range of charitable organizations, including animal shelters (on behalf of Anton Mihailov), community centers in Atlanta (on behalf of general managers hotdoge and glute), local anticapitalist organizations (on behalf of Viktor Krunk), animal hospitals (on behalf of Puddles O'Duck), suicide prevention resources (on behalf of pablo salvatici who often threatens to kiss his son). The rest was offered as a gift, not to a charitable organization but rather to @leviadan to help him establish a sandwich shop in his neighborhood in Torontii

*CptSquall* · 10-21-2022, 11:07 AM

Creative Prompt:

[Image: V5ybG3c.png]

Fantobens · 10-21-2022, 12:34 PM

My $750,000 is probably going towards debt. And the debt of those around me. Life can be hard. And in these trying times of unprecedented hatred and uncertainty, wouldn’t you love the chance to live your life debt free and out from under the thumbs of oppressive private companies whose sole purpose is it keep you in debt? I would. I would do the same for my family too. So they can live the life we were all meant to live. A debt free one!
Then I could go on the news and tell everyone to buy my book on how to live debt free! The main step is being good at something else, so you get a $750,000 bonus, and the rest is pretty easy! But I could easily spin that into pretending I know things about things because I was on tv once. Now I work for Fox News. I need a toy badge…

JT3 · 10-21-2022, 12:39 PM

Woohoo, bonus money! If a $750,000 cheque landed in Noel's bank account he would probably spend it on hockey cards. Hockey cards have really been growing in popularity around the SHL, and he's eager to grow his collection and compete to have better cards than his buddies. There has even been a new series released recently of award winner cards that he would love to get his hands on. So far he hasn't really gotten any crazy pulls like a HOF card or anything like that, so he would probably use his money to try and get something really rare. The best cards he has at the moment are his 89 overall Mikke Laukkanen, Abel Skinner, and Cameron Carter II (JODAN). Two particular cards that elude him which he'd love to get his hands on are of course, his own player card (he knows there is a Blanchet Platoon card, but not sure if a Winnipeg one has been made yet), and also one of his favorite players of all time, Jon Toner. If he got his hands on a Toner HOF card it would be absolutely amazing.

Credits to OrbitingDeath, Tweedle, Incite, Wasty, and Slothfacekilla for sigs!

Player Profile | Update Page

Muerto · 10-21-2022, 01:01 PM

Written Task: Looking at your stats and achievements this season, what kind of bonuses are you going to try and negotiate for and why? What did you excel at, and how do you convince the GM that you're the best one to bring it to the table? What did you struggle with this season, and how do you make sure it doesn't come up in negotiations? (150+ words)

Grogu had a great regular season for the Calgary Dragons, setting a new team record for points with 97 and assists with 71. Those 71 assists also tied the existing league record for assists in a season His linemates also set new team and league records - Duncan Mackenzie scored 50 goals, the first ever Dragon to do so, and Evan Winter came into the league and demolished the rookie scoring record, as well he broke the previous team standards for goals and points in a season. So his bonus incentives for the next season are for him and his linemates to do even better! Team management agrees that if any of the 3 players scores 100 points on the season, or scores more than 50 goals, or breaks any league records, that the whole line will get brand new cars! And not just any car, they will be able to choose the luxury vehicle of their choosing, and also will get to fly in a helicopter and go skiing in the Canadian Rocky Mountains! The future is bright with this group and they are already setting new standards for performance for a team which has been in the league a long time, the results are showing on the ice but also attendance and jersey sales are up and making lots of cash for the owners of the franchise and they are happy to share that with the players who are the faces of the new era of Dragons hockey!

*thiefofcheese* · 10-21-2022, 02:01 PM

So I would love to say I have this wonderful foundation picked out to where I would ship all that money, but currently Lackamus is BROKE. You would think having this big ol salary would mean he would be flush with cash but unfortunately that really is not the case. In New England we are required to pay for our own weekly training and seasonal coaching and I swear those people get more money than we do. Lackamus has even picked up a few different jobs to help supplement his income because his salary alone does not allow him to afford the required coaching and training necessary to get all of the skills he needs. This season he even had to slack on personal coaching and could not get the top tier coaches because of it. It really is a shame and inflation is killing him.

Now if cash were more easy to come by and the 750 grand would just be "extra" money in his pocket there would be a lot of options. Right off the bat you have some places that can always use the cash such as St. Judes and some of those large organizations. Though as we are in a hockey themed role I think there should be serious consideration into investing into local sports teams and arenas to make hockey more accessible to everyone. It is an expensive sport and many people are not able to reach their full potential just because they do not have the resources to get out there and try.

Crunk · 10-21-2022, 02:04 PM

Creative
Viktor Krunk has a social conscience, and he is acutely aware that he has a fairly large extended family back home in Russia that are living in relative poverty. He feels a duty to take care of them, and they would be thrilled and showering him in thanks when they found out about how he was sending back his whole $250,000 bonus.

I said he has a social conscience - he's not a saint. The other $500,000 would go on taking his teammates for a night in the club. Magnums of vodka would flow in the VIP section, with bills raining onto the finest nasty ass strippers that money can buy.

Whatever's left after a wild night and the subsequent paying off of the aforementioned nasty ass strippers, he would probably blow on crypto or whatever other shit Elon Musk is talking up this week on Twitter. Viktor Krunk loves Elon Musk and thinks he is a genius, because Viktor Krunk is dumb as shit.

Vaxlare · 10-21-2022, 03:12 PM

Player Prompt

Tomen has no idea what can of worms he just opened by letting me negotiate my next performance bonuses. The Buffalo Stampede will be broke. There will be a $10 million bonus for EACH shorthanded goal that Dangle scores. Guess who had 2 of those this season and 1 last season? That is right, Dangle. Next, we will do $1 million for every take-away that Dangle has after subtracting his giveaways. In the past 2 seasons Dangle has had 61 more takeaways than giveaways. An under appreciated stats, however is indicative of the game that Dangle plays. What we will not let Tomen call out is how Dangle went from a +48 last season down to only a +7. Still respectable, and totally not Dangles fault but, that could be used against him. Lets be honest, it is not the defenses fault that the offensive guys can't score. Take that out of their bonuses, not Dangles.

zaynzk · 10-21-2022, 03:23 PM

pt isfl +

JSS331 · 10-21-2022, 03:24 PM

Ah the end of year bonus money. Always nice after the grind of a long season. As my player gets older, it gets harder and harder to stay in shape and more importantly, stay healthy throughout the season. For the last few years as Hamilton's fortunes have soured, it has been a nice retreat to rent a private jet for any of the guys who want to come and head down to warmer weather in the tropics for a week of rowdy drinking and relaxation. It has become something of a tradition and always ends up with a very large incidentals bill from all of the hotels we trash and the property damage. A few countries have politely asked us not to come back. Good thing there are plenty of islands with nice resorts to go tarnish. This year we plan to head down to St. Thomas where we have not been to this point. Maybe we will try to behave ourselves this time.

Code:
164 words

*Mutedfaith* · 10-21-2022, 04:59 PM

If Julian Flörsch were to hit his targets this season, and bag that 750 thousand dollar end-of-season bonus, he'd all spent it in one place.

When he was 16, Julian went to a local univerrsity. As we all know, education is really ducking expensive, and despite his dad and mum always having plenty of cash as they were professional athletes themselves, they wanted young Julian Flörsch to learn how to handle his own. So he had to provide his own college tuition, and rent a small apartment. Finding the time to combine hockey, university and a job, he still didnt make enough to cover his univeristy fees. Julian had to find another way to pay for his education. So he started racking up a huge student debt. Taking student loan, after student loan just to be able to pay his tuition bills, Julian studied himself into serious debt before finally graduating.

just kidding, Julian grew up in Europe not the US. He does;t have a crippling amount of debt just because he wanted to get an education. So he'll just buy a new Porsche.

zeagle1 · 10-21-2022, 10:24 PM

ISFL PT

***efischermann*** · 10-21-2022, 10:49 PM

Code:
PLAYER PROMPT- If you wanted a classic nuts and bolts player question then boy have you come to the right place. After you collect your bonus cheque you start to negotiate with the GM about next years performance bonuses!

Written Task:  Looking at your stats and achievements this season, what kind of bonuses are you going to try and negotiate for and why? What did you excel at, and how do you convince the GM that you're the best one to bring it to the table? What did you struggle with this season, and how do you make sure it doesn't come up in negotiations? (150+ words)

My player makes his name on defensive prowess, but there is an offensive juggernaut lurking in the weeds. Last season, the bonus would be solely based on my plus-minus rating and my time on ice per game.

Going forward, I think it is all open. I am just about to come into my prime, and I feel like there is a points explosion coming soon. Goals, assists, points will all be on the table, and I would be willing to bet on myself, that is for sure.

I think I would be able to hit any bonus put in front of me. Especially with the team around me, we are an absolute wagon in Seattle and we are just getting better. The chemistry developed this season will spiral upwards into next season. No one will be able to stop this club, making any bonus I look for even more reachable. Go Argos! We going all the way!!!

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S61 Four Star Cup - Game-Winning Goal in the clinching Game 4

.Laser · 10-21-2022, 10:53 PM

For my negotiations to get a fat bonus next season, I'm definitely going to be using my game ratings as the basis. I'll ask for a sliding scale of bonuses based on performance according to the statisticians. If Graj can achieve an average defensive game rating of 65 and a offensive game rating of 55, or an overall game rating of 60, throughout S68, then he will receive a $250,000 bonus. If he can achieve a defensive game rating of 70, he will receive another $250,000, and if he can average over 65 total game rating, he will receive $250,000. All of these bonuses stack, and are supplemented by a $50,000 bonus per goal scored. However, because this could easily end up being over a million in bonuses despite his rookie status, he was forced to write in a clause halving any earned bonus if it was not met: if Graj does not have at least a 2.5:1 TA:GA ratio in the season, any earned bonus money will be cut in half. If Graj cannot get a 1.8:1, it will be cut in half again.

Thanks to EAB and sulovien for the sigs!

raymond3000 · 10-21-2022, 11:24 PM

Player Prompt

After a mediocre season sixty seven where Andreas Kvalheim finished seventh in team scoring for the Texas Renegades with 41 points, Andreas somehow managed to get a raise on the paltry three million he earned last season. As the five million he's set to earn next season is already an overpay based on his production and his age, Andreas does not think he deserves any other performance bonuses set into his contract for next season. If he had to include some sort of performance bonus though, he would probably base it on something like hits, where despite his age he put up a very respectable 125 hits across the season. This would also give Andreas extra incentive to move up the all time hits leaderboard, where he currently sits fifth. Third place is within striking distance next season, as he needs 94 hits across the campaign to match Jonathan Lundberg's 3173 career hits.

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