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*MikeLiut* · 11-10-2022, 10:31 AM

PRAISE MOTHER RUSSIA: Cultural Learnings of Canada for Make Better Hockey Glorious Nation of the Motherland
Excerpt from the Газета стоит всего рубль.

As our world-renowned state media reported last month, Russia's own national hero, Ekaterina "Mother Russia" Valieva, decided to teach Western countries how the imperial American way of life cannot produce good hockey players, and give them a masterclass of our beloved sport. Now that she has just concluded her first season in America, the Junior League is deemed unfit for her glorious talents and she is going to be drafted next Saturday during the 67th entry draft of the Simulation Hockey League. Since the American athlete development system cannot compete with that of our nation, we do not doubt that Valieva will easily be the first choice in this draft.

Transferred to the Junior American league last month, she was drafted by the St.Louis Scarecrows. Her presence - and we think her too-obvious talents - became a distraction in the locker room and she was traded practically in the middle of a game to their opponent that day, the Kelowna Knights. The Kelowna Knights are the equivalent of the now-defunct CKSA Moscow of America. The Kelowna Knights are to junior hockey in America what Beef Stroganoff is to our distinguished cuisine. A team with a proud tradition. A dynasty that won 12 cups in their history. The team has such a strong economic impact in the region that it has to play in a shopping mall. A franchise deemed worthy of the greatest talent in modern hockey. The pride of our nation was traded for the other superstar of the American League, Rikkert Biemans, to replace him as the new face of the franchise.

In an exclusive interview we did at a local Tim Hortons in Kelowna, Valieva admitted that the transition has been easy to the smaller ice used in the West. "The transition to Canada? It is easier than I thought. Aleman told me to stop paying referees with money before game, so now I have cash in pocket. Good because living in the Columbian nation of Britain not cheap. Vodka not cheap."

We translated an article with Gogol Translate from renowned journalist Lucas Robitaille, who also admitted that our hero did get the attention she deserves. "Before becoming a weightlifting champion and a national icon, she was a kid who broke record after record. She would not have made it possible without her determination. Her evolution has been astonishing."

Once again, Valieva proved a win for the way we develop our glorious nation. She will be representing the Motherland at the WJC, possibly as captain AND assistant captain at the same time, playing top minutes and proving to the world how great Russian athletes are.

Analysis - Ekaterina Valieva
Excerpt from "The Complete Guide to the S68 draft analysis", by Lucas Robitaille

Projected rank: mid-second round

There were two scenarios for Valieva, and only two. She would adapt, or she would be the laughingstock of American professional hockey. And at first, it was not looking well. She had horrible games where all she did was get in front of the net and she showed difficulty skating. After all, from what we learn of her junior career in Russia, staying in front of the net and hitting the defencemen and goalies were the only things she excelled in. She had only 6 points in 36 games. She had no idea how to play hockey. She was strong but afraid to play a physical game. She was massive but could not win her battles along the board. Her actions off the ice were a distraction for the team.

Now, we must praise the coaching staff in Kelowna. They switched her from the wings to center. She played on the second line with Jacques The Hammer and Liebold, got 10 points in only 11 games, won 51,1% of her faceoffs during that period and played decent playoffs. She is always training and has a surprising work ethic, including a very punishing workout routine. She is not the mindless brute I thought she would become.

And that was maybe what journalists missed about her potential. Before becoming a weightlifting champion and a national icon, before becoming a pariah on the national scene and the face of the Russian doping system, she was a kid who broke record after record. Of course, drugs helped, and of course, I am not promoting doping in sports, but she would not have made it possible without her determination.

Kelowna's bet could be paying off, Valieva does fit well into what the Knights are doing right now. She might even join UCORCAL for the WJC, as she already played on the international scene with the Russian women's team. We doubt she will have many minutes, if any, on the ice. But to paraphrase what Russians used to say in 1972 during the Summit Series, she is there to learn.

In a historically strong draft, she is not expected to be drafted early. But the story here is not where she will end up, or when she will be called. What is amazing is that she will be drafted. Her evolution has been astonishing and unexpected. In a few years, she might end up as THE sleeper pick of the already-famous S68 draft.

I cannot believe I am writing this, but in her case, I sincerely think that the best is yet to come.

An (almost) perfect night for Platoon fans
Baltimore Sun

After two difficult seasons, GM Hamilton promised a brighter future and a draft day for fans to remember. And he did deliver. The Platoon added last night a total of 10 new soldiers, including Colorado Raptors forwards Erik Bergmark (2nd) and Adrian O'Rugg (11th). Bergmark, a German right winger, scored an impressive 22 goals (37 points) on the second line. O'Rugg, a center from Ireland, managed to get 48 points, including 19 goals and 29 assists.

In the second round, the Platoon drafted forward Adam Liebold (KEL, 23rd), defenceman Philip Fry (NL, 26th), forward Ekaterina Valieva (KEL, 29th) and forward Anthony Simmons (REG, 35th). Simmons was picked from waivers this season and managed to get a decent production of 15 points in only 29 games.

In the third round, the steal of the draft might have been defenseman Davos Otasrob (ANC, 43rd) who developed well last season after being drafted 6th overall at the SMJHL draft. The Platoon also managed to draft forward Hingle McCringleberry (NL, 53rd) who also was picked early (7th overall) last year at the SMJHL entry draft. Goalies Bandit Heller (YUK, 39th), who did very well last year in Yukon, and Dr. Hugh Orson (NBB, 55th) who joined the Battleborn late last year, will also be joining the team.

The Platoon also traded twice: Baltimore's 9th and 40th for Philly's 11th and 31st, and then traded the newly acquired 31st pick to Buffalo for their second-round pick next year.

For many fans, it was almost a perfect night. The American Airlines Arena was packed for the live broadcast of the draft. Fans warmly applauded each newcomer and many were pleasantly surprised that some players were still available in the second round. "General" Christine William, 86, and president of the Platoon fan club, sees the future of the organization with great optimism. "I could not believe that Liebold was not picked in the first round and that Philip Fry managed to drop to the second round. I also loved what I saw from Simmons. That guy knows how to shoot a puck. The draft class was so talented, it is like we drafted four or five first-rounders. Tonight we saw what the team should look like in the upcoming seasons, and the future has never been brighter here in Baltimore."

There was, however, a silence at the American Airlines Arena, and then some murmurs of displeasure after the Platoon announced the selection of Ekaterina Valieva in the middle of the second round. Valieva, a former Olympic weightlifting champion turned hockey player, was a stunning selection for some. "I do not think she is a good example for our children", added General Williams, evasive.

When approached for comment, Baltimore GM Johnny Hamilton was effusive in his praise. "Why did I draft [Ekaterina]? Because she's an incredibly gifted offensive player and super coachable. We were impressed from our pre-draft interviews, and honestly didn't expect her to still be there at 29. We had some other team needs to address early in the second round, and I didn't expect her to still be around. It was a no brainer at that point to get a top 20 player in this class where we did. As great as her upside on the ice, she's just as impressive off the ice."

When the Baltimore Sun asked fans what they thought of the GM's comments, the answer was pretty much always the same. "In Hamilton We Trust", a fan summarized. "The team managed to get a lot of picks this year and it might be the moment to make riskier choices. If we only had a second-round pick this draft and had he chosen Valieva with it? I would have called for Johnny's resignation."

With the generous draft selections from last season and this year, no doubt the Platoon is GM Hamilton's team now. With 16 picks in the last two drafts, the organization quickly changed its image. Not a lot of players from the S64 edition, when Hamilton took the helm of the team, are in the actual lineup. Only time will tell if the strategy will pay off.

Edit: Formatting.
WC: 1731

***Anthique*** · 11-10-2022, 10:08 PM

Good draft you had!

We'll see if you will live up to the expectations Wink

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