My new sidekick is the Amazon Yeti. Last weekend I went out to the club and saw him there. We ended up chatting and we became BFF's instantly. His charmisma now that he has a hairblower is off the charts.

Rikkert Biemans || #21 || S66  || Tampa Bay Barracuda || Katth#7745
-----------------------------------------------
Drafted 8th overall by the Kelowna Knights
Drafted 6th overall by the Texas Renegades and traded to Montreal Patriotes
Traded to St. Louis Scarecrows
Traded to Tampa Bay Barracuda
S67 WJC Gold Medal - Dach
S70 IIHF Gold Medal - Germany
S72 IIHF Gold Medal - Germany
S73 All Star Game (1st appearance)
S74 IIHF Gold Medal - Germany
-----------------------------------------------
SMJHL:
S65 || GP: 66 || G: 14 || A: 11 || P: 25 || SHT%: 13.6% || Hits: 85
S66 || GP: 66 || G: 19 || A: 20 || P: 39 || SHT%: 13.8% || Hits: 93
S67 || GP: 66 || G: 36 || A: 32 || P: 68 || SHT%: 18.6% || Hits: 129
-----------------------------------------------
SHL:
S68 || GP: 66 || G: 29 || A: 25 || P: 54 || SHT%: 16.8% || GWG: 6 || Hits: 108
S69 || GP: 66 || G: 12 || A: 38 || P: 50 || SHT%: 08.4% || GWG: 3 || Hits: 72
S70 || GP: 66 || G: 22 || A: 32 || P: 54 || SHT%: 13.5% || GWG: 0 || Hits: 73
S71 || GP: 66 || G: 31 || A: 40 || P: 71 || SHT%: 14.8% || GWG: 2 || Hits: 100
S72 || GP: 66 || G: 38 || A: 31 || P: 69 || SHT%: 16.6% || GWG: 7 || Hits: 102
S73 || GP: 66 || G: 38 || A: 43 || P: 81 || SHT%: 13.0% || GWG: 6 || Hits: 94
S74 || GP: 66 || G: 42 || A: 57 || P: 99 || SHT%: 16.3% || GWG: 7 || Hits: 100


 



Barry Batsbak || #92 || S46 || Calgary Dragons || 2,080 TPE (peak) || Katth#7745
Alias: The Bird
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 204 lbs
Number: 92
Country: Austria
Render: Evgeny Kuznetsov
-----------------------------------------------
SHL:
S48 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 03 || A: 10 || P: 13 || +/- -10 || SHT%: 03.66% || FO%: 50.49%
S49 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 10 || A: 11 || P: 21 || +/- -01 || SHT%: 13.33% || FO%: 49.89%
S50 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 05 || A: 20 || P: 25 || +/- -05 || SHT%: 04.85% || FO%: 53.81%
S51 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 12 || A: 17 || P: 29 || +/-  05 || SHT%: 09.45% || FO%: 54.32%
S52 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 15 || A: 26 || P: 41 || +/-  11 || SHT%: 10.79% || FO%: 54.99%
S53 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 17 || A: 38 || P: 55 || +/-  16 || SHT%: 10.37% || FO%: 56.70%
S54 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 14 || A: 36 || P: 50 || +/- -06 || SHT%: 07.22% || FO%: 57.82%
S55 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 14 || A: 42 || P: 56 || +/- -11 || SHT%: 08.86% || FO%: 57.82%
S56 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 29 || A: 34 || P: 63 || +/-  39 || SHT%: 15.59% || FO%: 55.44%
-----------------------------------------------
SHL Playoffs:
S48 || CGY || GP: 11 || G: 01 || A: 05 || P: 06 || +/- 00 || SHT%: 05.56% || FO%: 44.74%
S49 || CGY || GP: 07 || G: 02 || A: 03 || P: 05 || +/- 05 || SHT%: 15.38% || FO%: 51.67%
S50 || CGY || GP: 20 || G: 02 || A: 08 || P: 10 || +/- -01|| SHT%: 06.25% || FO%: 58.21%
S51 || CGY || GP: 07 || G: 01 || A: 03 || P: 04 || +/- 01 || SHT%: 05.88% || FO%: 47.93%
S52 || CGY || GP: 13 || G: 05 || A: 07 || P: 12 || +/- 09 || SHT%: 15.15% || FO%: 51.50%
S53 || CGY || GP: 07 || G: 02 || A: 01 || P: 03 || +/--02 || SHT%: 08.00% || FO%: 00.00%
S54 || CGY || GP: 05 || G: 01 || A: 04 || P: 05 || +/- 00 || SHT%: 07.14% || FO%: 00.00%
S55 || CGY || GP: 06 || G: 01 || A: 03 || P: 04 || +/--04 || SHT%: 05.88% || FO%: 00.00%
S56 || CGY || GP: 05 || G: 01 || A: 04 || P: 05 || +/- 00 || SHT%: 07.14% || FO%: 00.00%
-----------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin:
S48 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 00 || A: 01 || P: 01 || +/-  00 || SHT%: 00.00% || FO%: 50.00%
S49 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 04 || A: 02 || P: 06 || +/- -01 || SHT%: 20.00% || FO%: 51.95%
S50 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 00 || A: 03 || P: 03 || +/-  03 || SHT%: 00.00% || FO%: 53.18%
S51 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 04 || A: 04 || P: 08 || +/- -01 || SHT%: 16.00% || FO%: 57.39%
S52 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 06 || A: 04 || P: 10 || +/-  10 || SHT%: 23.08% || FO%: 61.13%
S53 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 01 || A: 10 || P: 11 || +/- -02 || SHT%: 02.94% || FO%: 00.00%
-----------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Rounds:
S48 || AUT || GP: 01 || G: 01 || A: 00 || P: 01 || +/-  01 || SHT%: 50.00% || FO%: 100.00%
S50 || AUT || GP: 02 || G: 00 || A: 00 || P: 00 || +/- -01 || SHT%: 00.00% || FO%: 47.50%
S51 || AUT || GP: 01 || G: 00 || A: 00 || P: 00 || +/- -00 || SHT%: 00.00% || FO%: 00.00%
-----------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season:
S45 || KEL || GP: 50 || G: 08 || A: 05 || P: 13 || +/-  -04 || SHT%: 16.00% || FO%: 46.88%
S46 || KEL || GP: 50 || G: 11 || A: 25 || P: 36 || +/- +12 || SHT%: 10.68% || FO%: 46.10%
S47 || KEL || GP: 50 || G: 13 || A: 25 || P: 38 || +/-  -10 || SHT%: 10.08% || FO%: 48.30%
-----------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoffs:
S45 || KEL || GP: 04 || G: 02 || A: 00 || P: 02 || +/- +00 || SHT%: 50.00%
S46 || KEL || GP: 18 || G: 02 || A: 12 || P: 14 || +/- +10 || SHT%: 06.06%
S47 || KEL || GP: 10 || G: 05 || A: 07 || P: 12 || +/- +00 || SHT%: 15.63%
-----------------------------------------------
Transactions & Awards:
S45: Drafted 61st overall by Kelowna Knights
S45: Silver medal WJC (CAN)
S46: Drafted 22nd overall by Calgary Dragons
S46: Laurifer Trophy (KEL - SMJHL)
S46: Riko Muerto Award (KEL - Most Underated Player)
S46: Bronze medal WJC (CAN)
S47: John McBride Award (KEL - Playoff MVP)
S47: Gold medal WJC (CAN)
S49: Appointed as Head Coach of the Kelowna Knights
S49: First career shorthanded goal (Thursday, August 15, 2019)
S49: First career hattrick (Saturday, August 17, 2019)
S49: President's Trophy (CGY)
S49: Appointed Federation Head for Austria
S49: Mike Izzy Award (CGY - Exemplary commitment to off-ice contributions to the team)
S50: Named Alternate Captain for S50 (CGY)
S50: Western Conference Champion (CGY)
S50: Challenge Cup Champion (CGY)
S51: Appointed co-GM for Kelowna Knights
S52: Appointed GM for Kelowna Knights
S53: Jesster Award (CGY - Most Valuable Player)
S53: Western Conference Champion (KEL)
S54: Named Alternate Captain for S54 & S55 (CGY)
S54: Laurifer Trophy (KEL)

 
S50 Challenge Cup Finals Game 7

As far back as he can remember Evil AllBran has always had a fondness for ducks so when this opportunity arose he instantly thought to have a little fluffy duck become his mascot.

    

Evil AllBran - C - Philadeplia Forge - Peak TPE: 2194 #5th All time TPE leaderboard
S71 Jay McDonald Trophy

S71 Ron Mexico Award

S71 Sarmad Kahn Nomination

S69 Challenge Cup Champion
S69 Jay McDonald Trophy
S69 Anton Razov Award Nomination
S69 Sarmad Khan Award Nomination
S63 Damian Littleton Award Nomination
S61 WJC Gold - United States
S61 WJC Best Goal Scorer Award
S60 Vyacheslav Onopprienko Trophy

Special thanks to Carpy48, Ragnar, Merica, High Stick King, Sulovilen, sothfacekilla, enigmatic and LeSizz for the signatures!

I want my sidekick to be just like Batmans Robin. But not the more modern adaptations of Robin, I want the Robin from the 1960's. Now there's a real sidekick.

Robin Nyckel || D || San Francisco Pride || TPE: 1000 
SMJHL Team: Colorado Raptors // St. Louis Scarecrows
SHL Team: San Francisco Pride
------------------------- SMJHL Regular Season Career Totals -------------------------
264 GP | 37 G | 92 A | 129 P | +33 | 178 PIM | 358 H | 423 SB
------------------------- SMJHL Playoff Career Totals -------------------------
31 GP | 5 G | 9 A | 14 P | +7 | 19 PIM | 35 H | 46 SB
------------------------- SHL Regular Season Career Totals -------------------------
198 GP | 13 G | 44 A | 57 P | -7 | 91 PIM | 127 H | 287 SB
------------------------- SHL Playoff Career Totals -------------------------
25 GP | 2 G | 6 A | 8 P | -17 | 12 PIM | 15 H | 47 SB
------------------------- Transactions -------------------------
S69 SMJHL Entry Draft, Drafted 6th OA by the Colorado Raptors
S70 SHL Entry Draft, Drafted 16th OA by the San Francisco Pride
S72 Four Star Cup
S76 Challenge Cup



Henrik Lekberg Osterman || W/C || Retired || Peak TPE: 2136
SMJHL Team: Colorado Raptors
SHL Team: San Francisco Pride
------------------------- SMJHL Regular Season Career Totals -------------------------
200 GP | 52 G | 76 A | 128 P | 0.64 PPG | -15 | 76 PIM | 235 H | 31 SB
------------------------- SMJHL Playoff Totals -------------------------
36 GP | 9 G | 13 A | 22 P | 0.61 PPG | +7 | 14 PIM | 50 H | 6 SB
------------------------- SHL Regular Season Career Totals -------------------------
1058 GP | 256 G | 504 A | 760 P | -174 | 436 PIM | 1439 H | 1259 SB
------------------------- SHL Playoffs Career Totals -------------------------
92 GP | 11 G | 29 A | 40 P | -17 | 12 PIM | 110 H | 79 SB
------------------------- Transactions -------------------------
S49 SMJHL Entry Draft, Drafted 52nd OA by the Colorado Raptors
S50 SHL Entry Draft, Drafted 3rd OA by the San Francisco Pride
------------------------- Awards & Honours -------------------------
S51 Vyacheslav Onoprienko Trophy Winner
S52 SMJHL All-Star Team
S58 Finalist for the Jeff Darr Award
S58 Finalist for the Aiden Richan Award
S59 3rd All-star Team
S59 Winner of the Jeff Darr Award
S60 Finalist for the Jeff Darr Award
S61 Finalist for the Jeff Darr Award
S73 Class Hall of Fame

Andy Ceylon's sidekick is none other than The Clue Glue Golem, the Center of the Toronto Thunderbirds of the SBA, though in miniature form. As the two players share an agent, it's not too weird that they got matched up like this. But considering the actual Golem is still playing games. We're pretty sure this is yet another clone from Step-Hasbro Gaming™. What will they do next?

I guess Spack Jarrow's sidekick would be the annoyingly precocious monkey from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. The Monkey, would howl when you squeeze its stomach.

[ 28 words ]

Spack Jarrow    |    S65 to S66                                                                         SHL   |         Aurora
                                                                 ···
POSITION      HAND     HGT      WGT                                     LINE     PP    PK     TPE
Left Wing       Right       5'10       185                                           2       X      X   1,400+
                                                                 ···
SHL - REGULAR SEASON
·  S     TEAM NAME                     GP       G        A        P     +/-       H     PIM       ATOI
·  66   Winnipeg Aurora               66      18      30      48    +3      94      32      16:49
·  65   Winnipeg Aurora               66      16      25      41   +28      53      26       18:21
                                                                 ···
SHL - PLAYOFFS
·  S     TEAM NAME                     GP       G        A        P     +/-       H     PIM       ATOI
·  66   Winnipeg Aurora                 5        1        3        4     +2        7        2       17:06
·  65   Winnipeg Aurora               14        5        2        7      -9      12        0       18:41
                                                                 ···
SHL - HISTORY
·  S62 - Drafted 1st Round, 4th Overall by Winnipeg Aurora of the SHL.
                                                                 ···


                       |    S61 to S64                                                                      SMJHL   |        Armada
                                                                 ···
SMJHL - REGULAR SEASON
·  S     TEAM NAME                     GP       G        A        P     +/-       H     PIM       ATOI
·  64   Anchorage Armada          66      23      27     50     -34     86      32      22:07
·  63   Anchorage Armada          66      28      34     62      -1      79       12       21:51
·  62   Anchorage Armada          66      22      44     66       0     100      12       19:05
·  61    Anchorage Armada          66      13      19      32     +9      68      26      14:42
                                                                 ···
SMJHL - PLAYOFFS
·  S     TEAM NAME                     GP       G        A        P     +/-       H     PIM       ATOI
·  64    Anchorage Armada           4        1         2        3      -1        8         0     22:03
·  63    Anchorage Armada                               --- Missed Playoffs ---
·  62    Anchorage Armada         14        3        6        9     +1       24         6     19:09
·  61    Anchorage Armada          10        2        5        7     +8       15         0     14:20
                                                                 ···
SMJHL - EXHIBITION
·  S     TEAM NAME                     GP       G        A        P     +/-       H     PIM       ATOI
·  61    Mexico City Aztecs          40      12      14      26      -8        -       28       17:13
                                                                 ···
SMJHL - HISTORY
·  S64 - Award (Winner) - Elias Armia Trophy (Commissioners' Award of Excellence).
·  S64 - Award (Winner) - Anchorage Hall of Fame.
·  S64 - Award (Winner) - Anchorage MVP.
·  S64 - Award (Winner) - SMJHL All-Star game.
·  S63 - News - Anchorage Forward of the Year Award named Spack Jarrow Award.
·  S63 - Award (Winner) - Anchorage MVP.
·  S63 - Award (Winner) - SMJHL All-Star game.
·  S62 - Award (Nominee) - Elias Armia Award (Commissioners' Award of Excellence).
·  S62 - Award (Nominee) - Raymond Lindsay Trophy (MVP as voted on by the league).
·  S62 - Award (Winner) - Anchorage MVP.
·  S62 - Award (Winner) - Anchorage Leadership Award.
·  S62 - Award (Winner) - SMJHL All-Star game.
·  S61 - Contest (Winner) - Won all-star logo contest.
·  S61 - Award (Nominee) - Elias Armia Award (Commissioners' Award of Excellence).
·  S61 - Award (Winner) - Anchorage Leadership Award.
·  S61 - Role - Voted as Captain of the Anchorage Armada.
·  S61 - Drafted 1st Round, 13th Overall by Anchorage Armada of the SMJHL.
                                                                 ···


                       |    S61 to S66                                                                         IIHF   |   Switzerland
                                                                 ···
IIHF - REGULAR SEASON
·  S     TEAM NAME                     GP       G        A        P     +/-       H     PIM       ATOI
·  66   Team Switzerland              12        2        5       7     +3        11        6      16:41
·  65   Team Switzerland              12        1        0       1      +1        16        4      14:50
·  64   Team Switzerland              12        1        1       2      -4         8         2       9:53
·  63   Team Switzerland              12        1        0       1      +2         1         2       7:14
                                                                 ···
IIHF - PLAYOFFS
·  S     TEAM NAME                     GP       G        A        P     +/-       H     PIM       ATOI
·  66   Team Switzerland               1        0        0        0      -1         1        0      14:39
·  65   Team Switzerland               3        0        1        1      +1         5        0      12:41
·  64   Team Switzerland               1        0        0        0      -1         0        0       8:52
·  63   Team Switzerland               3        0        0       0      -2         1         2       6:45
                                                                 ···
WORLD JUNIORS - REGULAR SEASON
·  S     TEAM NAME                     GP       G        A        P     +/-       H     PIM       ATOI
·  63   Team DACH                       12        4        3        7     +4        9        8      18:35
·  62   Team DACH                       12        1         3       4      -4       12        2      18:32
·  61    Team World                       12        1        3        4       0       17       10      14:51
                                                                 ···
WORLD JUNIORS - PLAYOFFS
·  S     TEAM NAME                     GP       G        A        P     +/-       H     PIM       ATOI
·  63   Team DACH                        2        1         1        2        0        6        0      22:13
·  62   Team DACH                        2        1         0        1       -1        5        0      21:48
·  61    Team World                        1        0         1        1      +2        1         0      15:42
                                                                 ···
IIHF & WORLD JUNIORS - HISTORY
·  S65 - Award (Winner) - IIHF Gold with Team Switzerland.
·  S64 - Award (Winner) - WJC Bronze with Team DACH.
·  S63 - Award (Winner) - IIHF Silver with Team Switzerland.
·  S63 - Award (Winner) - WJC Bronze with Team DACH.
·  S61 - News - Transferred to Team Switzerland of the IIHF.
                                                                 ···

My new side kick is a player named Billy Blazes! Seeing as he has foregone training and learning how to be better at hockey, I assume he'd love to be my side kick. He'd be able to see a real player up-close and I'd have him get me lattes and protein shakes (once I teach him what those things are, seeing as he's given up on hockey.)

Miroslav Ketil
Next Great Whaler
S64 VAN - 66 GP - 7 G - 16 A - 23 P
S65 VAN - 66 GP - 16 G - 24 A - 40 P
S66 VAN - 66 GP - 21 G - 33 A - 54 P

W. Salming's sidekick is a little shetland sheepdog who helps Salming to relax between tough SHL games. Together they go to forest to have fun. Together they would also sell some calmness and video yoga lessons for fans.

my sidekick is a tall british dude named james. i call him captain slow because he takes things very cautiously but whenever i do that he yells my name and calls me an incompetent pillock

Dieter Frühstück || D || Anchorage Armada || 468 TPE
Birthplace: Rostock, Germany
Height/Weight: 6'9", 250 lbs
SMJHL Stats
S78 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 2 A: 24 PTS: 26 +/-: 11 H: 80 PIMS: 16 SB: 253
S79 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 0 A: 16 PTS: 16 +/-: -1 H: 49 PIMS: 28 SB: 224
Player Milestones/Transactions
Drafted 14th overall by Anchorage, S78 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 31st overall by Minnesota, S79 SHL Draft
Winner of the Alexis Metzler Award, S78



Sebastien Regazzoni || C || Hamilton Steelhawks || 1276 TPE
Birthplace: Bern, Switzerland
Height/Weight: 6'3", 200 lbs
SHL Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 17 A: 25 PTS: 42 PIMS: 32 +/-: -23 H: 75
S72 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 28 A: 31 PTS: 59 PIMS: 55 +/-: 7 H: 89
S73 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 24 A: 33 PTS: 57 PIMS: 34 +/-: -2 H: 81
S74 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 37 PTS: 49 PIMS: 43 +/-: -8 H: 83
S75 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 11 A: 51 PTS: 62 PIMS: 39 +/-: 22 H: 66 
S76 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 33 A: 60 PTS: 93 PIMS: 37 +/-: -18 H: 87
S77 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 32 A: 32 PTS: 64 PIMS: 38 +/-: -34 H: 76
S78 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 14 A: 32 PTS: 46 PIMS: 20 +/-: -1 H: 57
Total SHL Stats
GP: 528 G: 171 A: 201 PTS: 472 PIMS: 298 +/-: -57 H: 614
SHL Playoff Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 2 A: 1 PTS: 3 +/-: -5 PIM: 2 H: 5
S72 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 0 +/-: -5 PIM: 0 H: 7
S73 || HAM || GP: 12 G: 4 A: 7 PTS: 11 +/-: 2 PIM: 10 H: 10
S74 || HAM || GP: 7 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5 +/-: -3 PIM: 0 H: 14
S75 || HAM || GP: 14 G: 3 A: 10 PTS: 13 +/-: -0 PIM: 2 H: 17
S76 || HAM || GP: 19 G: 6 A: 15 PTS: 21 +/-: -1 PIM: 4 H: 29
S77 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 1 A: 5 PTS: 6 +/-: -2 PIM: 0 H: 3
Total SHL Playoff Stats
GP: 67 G: 19 A: 41 PTS: 60 +/-: -14 PIM: 18 H: 85
SMJHL Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 25 A: 21 PTS: 46 +/-: -5 PIM: 6 H: 107
S68 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 41 PTS: 61 +/-: 5 PIM: 30 H: 138
S69 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 33 PTS: 53 +/-: -3 PIM: 18 H: 142
S70 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 23 PTS: 35 +/-: -54 PIM: 28 H: 78
Career SMJHL Regular Season Stats
GP: 264 G: 77 A: 118 PTS: 195 +/-: -57 PIM: 82 H: 465
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 5 G: 4 A: 1 PTS: 5 +/-: -2 PIM: 0 H: 11
S68 || ANC || GP: 10 G: 4 A: 3 PTS: 7 +/-: 7 PIM: 4 H: 24
Career Milestones
Drafted 20th overall by Anchorage, S67 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 4th overall by Hamilton, S68 SHL Draft
Voted Anchorage Armada captain, S69



Mitchell van der Heijden || C || Philadelphia Forge || 925 TPE
Birthplace: Alkmaar, Netherlands
Height/Weight: 6'2", 205 lbs
SHL Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 50 G: 8 A: 10 PTS: 18 PIMS: 16 +/-: 0 H: 24
S55 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 19 PTS: 34 PIMS: 14 +/-: 2 H: 70
S56 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 16 A: 11 PTS: 27 PIMS: 26 +/-: -17 H: 65
S57 | NEW | GP: 66 G: 20 A: 28 PTS: 48 PIMS: 10 +/-: -37 H: 62
S58 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 22 A: 38 PTS: 60 PIMS: 22 +/-: 25 H: 92
S59 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 21 A: 37 PTS: 58 PIMS: 29 +/-: 37 H: 101
S60 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 49 A: 50 PTS: 99 PIMS: 6 +/-: 14 H: 97
S61 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 57 PTS: 87 PIMS: 10 +/-: 49 H: 122
S62 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 48 A: 38 PTS: 86 PIMS: 8 +/-: 32 H: 105
S63 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 51 PTS: 81 PIMS: 18 +/-: 47 H: 103
S64 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 43 PTS: 73 PIMS: 8 +/-: 9 H: 103
S65 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 13 A: 37 PTS: 50 PIMS: 20 +/-: 25 H: 134
S66 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 15 A: 24 PTS: 39 PIMS: 30 +/-: -19 H: 116
S67 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 8 A: 27 PTS: 35 PIMS: 20 +/-: 4 H: 140
Career Regular Season Stats
GP: 876 G: 325 A: 470 PTS: 795 PIMS: 237 +/-: 172 H: 1338
SHL Playoff Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 5 PTS: 12 PIMS: 4 +/-: 1
S56 | NEW | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 4 +/-: -4
S57 | NEW | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: 0
S58 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 3 A: 7 PTS: 10 PIMS: 2 +/-: 2
S59 | HAM | GP: 11 G: 2 A: 5 PTS: 7 PIMS: 0 +/-: 4
S60 | HAM | GP: 10 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5
S61 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 9 A: 16 PTS: 25
S62 | HAM | GP: 14 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19
S63 | HAM | GP: 25 G: 10 A: 12 PTS: 22
S64 | HAM | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 17 PTS: 24
S65 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 4 A: 5 PTS: 9
S66 | PHI | G: 7 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3
S67 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 4 PTS: 4
Total SHL Playoff Stats
GP: 172 G: 55 A: 93 PTS: 148
SMJHL Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 14 PTS: 28 PIMS: 6 +/-: -1 H: 21
S51 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 27 PTS: 47 PIMS: 17 -/+: 11 H: 15
S52 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 28 PTS: 53 PIMS: 29 +/-: 7 H: 62
S53 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 26 A: 26 PTS: 52 PIMS: 24 +/-: 12 H: 109
Total SMJHL Reg. Season Stats
GP: 200 G: 85 A: 95 PTS: 180 PIMS: 79 +/-: 29 H: 207
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 11 G: 1 A: 4 PTS: 5 PIMS: 0 +/-: -6
S51 | ANC | GP: 12 G: 5 A: 7 PTS: 12 PIMS: 2 +/-: 7
S52 | ANC | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S53 | ANC | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
Total SMJHL Playoff Stats
GP: 41 G: 8 A: 16 PTS: 24 PIMS: 2 +/-: 1
Accolades
Won S51 4 Star Cup with Anchorage
Won Silver Medal with Switzerland, S51 IIHF
named best forward, S51 WJC
named to second team all SMJHL, S52
named Anchorage alternate captain, S51/S52
named Anchorage captain, S53
named first team all SMJHL, S53
won Ideen Fallah Award (SMJHL Awards Committee MVP), S53
named SMJHL All-Star, S51-S53
won S54 Challenge Cup with New Orleans
scored Challenge Cup-winning goal, S54
named New England alternate captain, S55
#15 retired by the Anchorage Armada
Challenge Cup winner with Hamilton, S58/S61/S63
SHL All-Star, S60-S63
Karpovtsov and McDonald winner, S60
Sarmad Khan winner, S60
Ron Mexico winner, S60
First Team All-SHL, S60
Gold medal winner with Switzerland, S65
Member of the Triple Gold Club
SHL Hall of Famer
Draft Things
drafted 11th by Anchorage in S50 SMJHL Draft
drafted 13th overall by New Orleans in S51 SHL Draft



Joseph Lombardi || RW || Anchorage Armada co-GM || 969 TPE
Name: Joseph Lombardi
Position: Right Wing
Birthplace: Voorhees, NJ, USA (transferred to Ireland)
Height: very short (5'3")
Weight: 145 lbs
SHL Regular Season Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 13 A: 9 PTS: 22 PIMS: 6 +/-: -10
S39 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 12 A: 8 PTS: 20 PIMS: 8 +/-: -10
S40 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 15 PTS: 29 PIMS: 7 +/-: 9
S41 | MIN | GP: 50 G: 7 A: 6 PTS: 13 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S42 | MIN/SEA | GP: 47 G: 14 A: 20 PTS: 34 PIMS: 6 +/-: 4
S43 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 26 PTS: 46 PIMS: 8 +/-: 5
S44 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 18 A: 17 PTS: 35 PIMS: 18 +/-: -16
S45 | SEA/TOR | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 20 PTS: 40 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 23 PTS: 48 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S47 | EDM | GP: 50 G: 17 A: 23 PTS: 40 PIMS: 10 +/-: 26
S48 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 21 A: 17 PTS: 38 PIMS: 10 +/-: 5
S49 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 6 A: 20 PTS: 26 +/-: -8 PIMS: 13
S50 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 11 PTS: 26 PIMS: 10 +/-: 15
Career Stats
GP: 647 G: 202 A: 215 PTS: 417 PIMS: 96 +/-: 14
SHL Playoff Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 6 +/-: -3
S39-S40 | SFP | Missed playoffs
S41 | MIN | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S42 | SEA | missed playoffs
S43 | SEA | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 6 PTS: 6 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S44 | SEA | missed playoffs
S45 | TOR | GP: 5 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 7 G: 2 A: 7 PTS: 9 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
S47 | EDM | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S48 | SFP | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: -4
S49 | SFP | missed playoffs
S50 | SFP | GP: 4 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
Career Playoff Stats 
all you need to know is that I was shit
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S35 | STL |  GP: 50 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: -1
S36 | STL | GP: 50 G: 10 A: 7 PTS: 17 PIMS: 4 +/-: 0
S37 | STL | GP: 44 G: 16 A: 15 PTS: 31 PIMS: 8 +/-: -4
Total Stats: GP: 144 G: 27 A: 22 PTS: 49 PIMS: 14 +/-: -5
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 7 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 +/-: 1
S36 | STL | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 +/-: -1
S37 | STL | GP: 13 G: 4 A: 10 PTS: 14 +/-: -3
Total Stats: GP: 26 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19 +/-: -3
Things I've Done
Selected 40th overall in S35 SMJHL Draft by STL
Selected 30th overall in S36 SHL Entry Draft by POR
Won some team awards with the Crows, but no cup
won Presidents Trophy with San Francisco in S38
won a silver medal with Ireland (S38)
won two bronze medals with Ireland (S39, S41)
won a shit ton of golds with Ireland (S42-47)
was traded by San Francisco to Minnesota before S41
Traded to Seattle by Minnesota before S42 Trade Deadline
traded to Toronto by Seattle before S45 trade deadline
signed a one year, $6 million contract with Edmonton
signed a one year, $4.5 million contract with San Fransisco
named Pride alternate captain for S48
won president's trophy with SFP (s50)
wrote haters guides where I shat on every team

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

Benny's sidekick will be, naturally, his tabby cat Ted. Ted was a shelter kitten that Benny adopted while he was living in Vancouver to help himself feel less lonely away from family and friends. These days, they're essentially inseparable (outside of travel). Ted likes to eat plants, so much so that every fern he's ever bought has been mostly eaten by Ted. Benny's got a couple of high school friends that moved out to Seattle that pop in to take care of Ted when he's on a roadtrip, but that's basically his little guy. He's just a little man. As such, the Seattle Argonauts will be selling little plushes of Ted in the team store for 100 dollars so you too can have a little guy that hangs out at your apartment and eats your plants.

sigs by me bitch



Benson "Flower" Fiorentini || C/LW || Tampa Bay Barracuda || USA || VAN || 2011 TPE

--------------------------------------
Name: Benson Fiorentini
Number: 9
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 205lbs
Birthplace: Long Island, NY
Age: 25
--------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
S68: GP: 66 || G: 8 || A: 34 || P: 42 || +29 || SH%: 8.3% || HIT: 113 || PIM: 21
S69: GP: 66 || G: 18 || A: 33 || P: 51 || +28 || SH%: 15.1% || HIT: 136 || PIM: 26
S70: GP: 66 || G: 16 || A: 47 || P: 63 || +43 || SH%: 15% || HIT: 138 || PIM: 32
S71: GP: 66 || G: 27 || A: 29 || P: 56 || -20 || SH%: 15.3% || HIT: 95 || PIM: 37
S72: GP: 66 || G: 34 || A: 39 || P: 73 || -26 || SH%: 16.1% || HIT: 78 || PIM: 30
--------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
S68: GP: 21 || G: 2 || A: 10 || P: 12 || +4 || SH%: 8.0% || HIT: 39 || PIM: 6
S69: GP: 16 || G: 5 || A: 4 || P: 9 || -1 || SH%: 17.2% || HIT: 28 || PIM: 4
S70: GP: 13 || G: 4 || A: 8 || P: 12 || +4 || SH%: 16% || HIT: 25 || PIM: 12
S71: GP: 7 || G: 1 || A: 3 || P: 4 || -3 || SH%: 11.1% || HIT: 6 || PIM: 0
S72: GP: 5 || G: 2 || A: 5 || P: 7 || +1 || SH%: 14.3% || HIT: 7 || PIM: 0
--------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Stats
Regular Season: GP: 198 || G: 70 || A: 80 || P: 150 || +17 || SH%: 13.13% || HIT: 337 || PIM: 64
Playoffs: GP: 20 || G: 7 || A: 3 || P: 10 || -10 || SH%: 18.92% || HIT: 46 || PIM: 8
--------------------------------------
Transactions
Drafted 9th overall by the Vancouver Whalers (S65)
Drafted 2nd overall by the Seattle Argonauts (S66)
Played for the Seattle Argonauts (S68 - S74)
Traded to the Tampa Bay Barracuda (S74)
--------------------------------------
Accomplishments
Won the Challenge Cup with Seattle [Rookie Year] (S68)



Finn Krüger || SEA Head GM (S69 - S73) || RD || WKP/HAM/TOR/TBB || GER || COL || Peak: 1690 TPE

--------------------------------------
Name: Finn Krüger
Number: 8
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 200lbs
Birthplace: Cologne, Germany
Age: 53
--------------------------------------
SHL Career Stats
Regular Season: GP: 649 || G: 68 || A: 339 || P: 407 || +55 || HIT: 871 || SB: 878 || PIM: 393
Playoffs: GP: 92 || G: 11 || A: 43 || P: 54 || -1 || HIT: 121 || SB: 128 || PIM: 71
--------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Stats
Regular Season: GP: 150 || G: 35 || A: 72 || P: 107 || 0 || HIT: 64 || SB: 143 || PIM: 83
Playoffs: GP: 27 || G: 3 || A: 13 || P: 16 || -5 || HIT: 13 || SB: 21 || PIM: 9
--------------------------------------
Transactions
Drafted 4th Overall by the Colorado Mammoths (S34)
Signed a $2m/1yr contract with the Colorado Mammoths (S34)
Drafted 3rd Overall by the West Kendall Platoon (S35)
Signed a $9m/3yr (3m AAV) contract with the West Kendall Platoon (S35)
Signed a $6m/2yr (3m AAV) extension with the West Kendall Platoon (S38)
Signed a $18m/3yr (6m AAV) contract with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S42)
Traded to the Toronto North Stars (S45)
Signed with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S47)
Traded to the Tampa Bay Barracuda (S49)
--------------------------------------
Accomplishments
Named Alternate Captain of the Colorado Mammoths (S34, S35)
Quilha Agante Trophy for Best Defenceman (S35)
Named Captain of the Colorado Mammoths (S36)
Won Gold Medal with Team Germany (S36)
Named Alternate Captain of the West Kendall Platoon (S40)
Won Bronze Medal with Team Germany (S40)
Won Challenge Cup with the West Kendall Platoon (S41)



Bastien Marchessault || VAN Head/AGM (S37 - S42) || 1x Four-Star, 3x Laurifer, 2x GMOTY

--------------------------------------
Regular Season Stats:
TOTALS: GP: 300 || W: 158 || L: 112 || OTL: 30 || GF: 912 || GA: 865 || GF/GA: 1.05
--------------------------------------
Playoff Stats:
VAN S42: GP: 0 || W: 0 || L: 0 || OTL: 0 || GF: 0 | GA: 0
VAN S41: GP: 5 || W: 1 || L: 4 || OTL: 0 || GF: 10 | GA: 13
VAN S40: Did Not Qualify
VAN S39: GP: 15 || W: 10 || L: 5 || OTL: 0 || GF: 52 | GA: 43
VAN S38: GP: 4 || W: 0 || L: 4 || OTL: 0 || GF: 11 || GA: 19
VAN S37: Did Not Qualify
--------------------------------------
Transactions
Named Co-GM of the Vancouver Whalers (S37)
Named Head GM of the Vancouver Whalers (S42)
--------------------------------------
Accomplishments
Laurifer Trophy Winner (S41, S42, S43)
Occasus Trophy Winner (S42)
Mathias Chouinard Award for Best GM (S41, S42)

Who doesn't love having a good dog sidekick? Minaj will continue his family's tradition of rescuing a German shepherd puppy with floppy ears and giant paws. Part of the tradition is naming him after US presidents, but since we are in Quebec, my new sidekick will be named Layton after the beloved Canadian Prime Minister Jack Layton.

 


Alexander Minaj || D || Quebec City Citadelles
Birthplace: Cleveland, USA
Height: 6'2" | Weight: 225 lbs
Player Type: Shutdown Defenseman
Jersey Number: 27
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
SMJHL Regular Season:
S67 | 66 GP | 15 G | 36 A | 51P | +17 | 24 PIM | 64 BLK | 135 H | 4.71 TA/GA | 52.9 CF% | 53.8 FF%
S68 | 66 GP | 2 G | 19 A | 21 P | -17 | 34 PIM | 102 BLK | 135 H | 4.11 TA/GA | 46.60 CF% | 46.50 FF%
SMJHL Playoffs:
S67 | 21 GP | 0 G | 12 A | 12P | -4 | 6 PIM | 34 BLK | 49 H | 3.00 TA/GA | 49.7 CF% | 50.3 FF% 
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
Drafted #11 Overall by Quebec City Citadelles (SMJHL)
 Drafted #5 Overall by Minnesota Monarchs (SHL)

It is pretty easy to come up with an idea for Sir Devoir's new sidekick, and that idea is a little Ralts named Squire. Squire would be very gentlemanly and curious about everything, as well as being funny. It fits because a Ralts is the first Pokémon in the evolutionary line that leads to the Gallade that is Sir Devoir.

Adam's new sidekick will be his trusty horse Lucky. Lucky is 1,500 pound white war horse. He was bred to be rode into battle at the front of the cavalry line. Although he is a massive horse, he is very gentle around people. He allows the children to come by and pet him before and after the games.

Foil Up Boys

Sven's sidekick will be a talking, flying axe handle. It works great with his background as he used to work at an axe handle business before he made it big in hockey. And, his last name literally means "axe handle".

---

Past Players

S51-71 || Sven Yxskaft || Defenseman || New England Wolfpack || 2315 TPE peak
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 187 lbs
Birthplace: Sweden
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Achievements:
**** S70 - Challenge Cup Champion ****
S70 - IIHF Silver Medal
S69 - IIHF Silver Medal
**** S68 - IIHF Gold Medal ****
S65 - Eastern Conference All-Star
S64 - IIHF Silver Medal
S64 - Eastern Conference All-Star
S62 - Nominated for the Scott Stevens(Best Defenseman) award
S62 - Nominated for the Joe McKeil(Best Coach) award
**** S62 - All-time TPE leader ****
S61 - Won the New England Wolfpack Nathan Russell Leadership Award
S61 - Nominated for the Lance Uppercut(Best GM) award
S61 - Most (current)TPE in the SHL
S60 - IIHF Bronze Medal
S60 - Eastern Conference All-Star Game representative
S59 - Won the Damian Littleton(Most Dedicated) Award
S59 - Won the New England Wolfpack Nathan Russell Leadership Award
**** S54 - 4 Star Cup Champion ****
S54 - Nominated for the Brodie Witzel Trophy(Playoffs MVP)
S54 - Nominated for the Quilha Agante Trophy(Best Defenseman)
S54 - Traded as a rental for a Reddit 1st
S53 - WJC Silver Medal
S53 - Nominated for the Quilha Agante Trophy(Best Defenseman)
S53 - Nominated for the Zach Miller Trophy(Most Dedicated)
S53 - SMJHL All-Star Team West
S52 - IIHF Silver Medal
S52 - WJC Bronze Medal
S51 - WJC Silver Medal
S51 - Nominated for the Commisioner's Award of Excellence
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S55 - Called up to the SHL, New England Wolfpack
S54 - Traded to Carolina Kraken
S52 - Drafted 5th Overall by NEW in the SHL Entry Draft
S51 - Drafted 14th Overall by VAN in the SMJHL Entry Draft

Taschen Messer's Number 1 sidekick is the trusty Swiss Army Knife. The Soldatenmesser 08 Soldier's Knife comes in handy on day hikes, and he always has one of the Victorinox Classics that he collects attached to his keys.

Marton's sidekick is a little kobold, but not one of those short dragon-guy kobolds, the real traditional kind. "A kobold can materialize in the form of a non-human animal, a fire, a human, and a candle..." what can't this guy do! His name is Chim and he brings me good luck if I share some food with him. Is he marketable? Almost certainly not. Will he bring in money? That's kind of the point: he brings grain and gold. But do not ask him where he got it from! He hates questions.

Sig courtesy @sulovilen

[S68] Marton Diehm || C/LW || Stuttgart, DEU
Outwit || Outplay || Outlast
S74 - inaugural TEX Buckaroo Award
S70 - final Vyacheslav Onoprienko Award
S68 - Drafted 24OA by the Texas Renegades
S67 - Drafted 25OA by the Carolina Kraken