It is time once again for everyone’s favorite time of year, no I am not talking about Christmas. Who cares about Thanksgiving…that is for my American friends out there. It is time once again for Spidey to critique each draft pick with open and honest feedback. You should take all of this very seriously as I have a habit of being 100% correct in everything I say here, time and again being right while all the SHL GM are typically wrong. (Do not take this seriously at all, please enjoy for a laugh).

Round 1

As is tradition, round one had a number of hopefuls and likely to bes lined up in this draft. GMs had the opportunity to restock their prospect cupboards with fantastic options that could become franchise centerpieces moving forward. But as per normal, my hopes and expectations were crushed by terrible choices and ignoring red flags.

1. Calgary Dragons - Frøya Solberg – NaomiMannequeen

I have a lot of respect and admiration for Boom and her job as a GM…until this pick. Now it looks like the plan is to tank for the next 10 seasons after selecting Frøya first overall! While she is a good player, there were soooo many other options you could have gotten with the franchise altering pick.

2. Manhattan Rage - Céleste Desjardins – skyrrhawk

The Rage have been known in the past to pick names that play up to their team’s name. Mayhem, Graves, Jagrbomb, Nickelback. Now they have gone with Desjardins…I guess since none of the other good names worked you might as well pick something completely different in hopes of better results.

3. Seattle Argonauts - Will Tomlander – roastpuff

I don’t even know who you are…soooo, congrats…? Just to keep it simple terrible pick. Moving on.

4. Montreal Patriotes - Peanut – Chevy

Oh, come on! This is like the most Vanilla pick in the draft. You could have gone for a home run and selected a young up and coming future franchise piece. Instead you picked the safe play, the guy who will bat .300 and get on base once a game. Selecting a 2nd line player at best. (I love you Chevy, don’t hate me).

5. Tampa Bay Barracuda (via ) - Dag-Otto Björntjänst – Kenvald

Clearly your real job is to sell the letter consonants needed for the back of team jerseys to the SHL. Because there is no way that is your actual last name. If that is your job, congrats you will be rich, because there is no way you are getting rich in the SHL playing hockey with those skills.

6. Montreal Patriotes (via ) - Emil Karlsson – dankoa

You know he played for Detroit before coming to you right…that is like picking a used condom to ensure you do not have a baby. Sure it will get the job done but do you really want to use that? Really should have use this pick on someone else, Montreal I would also get tested.

7. Seattle Argonauts (via :barracude: , via ) - Squidwardo Tentacles - TheOPSquid

Damn it, two sex jokes back to back, but I can’t avoid this one.

You really missed an opportunity in a very select pornographic market by becoming a SHL player. Disappointed in this pick and this players choice in lifestyle.

8. Winnipeg Aurora (via ) - Juan Tymer - ThePyroAlpaca

I would do anything for Jaun, yes I would do anything for Jaun, I would do anything for Juan, but I won’t pick him at 8.

Maybe like 32 or somewhere in there. Winnipeg was reaching on this one.

9. Minnesota Monarchs - Bartholomew Chungus Gingersnap III – thedangazone

How the hell does the second best earner in this draft class, WHICH IS A DEFENSEMAN, who we all know are worth their weight in GOLD, fall to 9th overall?!?!? Clearly he has murdered someone, and the other GMs found out. Minnesota you may have to deal with the legal drama with this player, I hope he is worth it…clearly not.

10. New England Wolfpack (via ) - Teal'c – DELIRIVM

AAAAAND we go from someone picked way to late, to someone who over preformed in juniors and was picked way to early. New England keeping up the tradition of picking players way to early for their actual talent level…

11. Buffalo Stampede (via ) - Sergey Ivanov – Arctic

Not realizing it, but that was just a run on defensemen, and as usual Buffalo is left taking home the leftovers. Hey we can’t all get the 10’s Buffalo decided to settle on a 6….ok 6 and a half.

12. Calgary Dragons (via ) - Sonja Solberg – Tsunny

Well at least the parties in Calgary will be fun having Norwegian Twins there (Like 3rd place in the European hot twins’ rankings)….actually thinking about it, TRADE ME TO CALGARY DAMN IT! As for hockey, well it could be terrible for a while with picks like this, but still Norwegian twins!

13. Chicago Syndicate – Cal Juice - caltroit_red_flames

…eww, This is the after effect of the Squidwardo Tentacle porns, I don’t want to be a part of it. Cal Juice…

14. Minnesota Monarchs (via ) - Gordon-William Gibbles – SpartanGibbles

A top 30 talent at 14th overall. What the hell happened here? Did you lose a bet and have to pick him at 14th overall?

15. Montreal Patriotes (via ) - Mikkel Enevoldsen - Rabidsponge21

Arguably this was a great pick, it is unfortunate you are heading to Montreal, pretty much ensuring you have already reached the pinnacle of your career with their training and coaching. Sorry.

16. Atlanta Inferno - Paul Bondage – CaptainCamel

You and Squidwardo should team up when your time in the SHL is complete. Paul Bondage and Squidwardo Tentacles in strapped down hotel. IT SELLS ITSELF! Good news, showing both your talents that time could be coming soon! (Don’t invite Cal Juice…ewww)

17. Winnipeg Aurora :auroa: (via , via ) - Langston Hardison-Laurent – Jexter

Laddy can I call you Laddy? Ok well Laddy, you are going to Winnipeg! That is the good news. The bad, just as you become relevant in the SHL, the Winnipeg Aurora will no longer be relevant. But hey, at least you are a first round pick, so that is cool.

18. New England Wolfpack - Troy McClure IIII - Troy_McClure03

You may remember him from such films as Thrash’em II or The Spy Who Wasn’t, what you will never remember him for is his hockey career.

19. Philadelphia Forge - Marek Carda – ibuprofenaddict

Also from Detroit…see earlier comments (6th overall pick Emil Karlsson). Also, nowhere near as talented as Karlsson, soooo maybe consider him a smaller condom in this situation.

20. Philadelphia Forge (via ) - Leonard Wood - MuNK22

(INSERT SQUIDWARDO PORN JOKE HERE) Also not talented at hockey.

Round 2

With a disappointing round one in the books, we look to round two with renewed hopes and dreams. Just like my life it was more of failed goals and a living nightmare. But hey, lets see what the rest draft shakes out like.

21. Manhattan Rage - Roger Murdock – Mazatt

I prefer Mattlock for crime fighting lawyers over Murdock. Just like I prefer talented hockey players with second round picks.

22. New Orleans Specters (via ) - Cracker Pizza – Patty

Just know they drafted you not based on any sort of talent you have, you don’t. They drafted you because it was cheaper to get a pizza than pay a fair wage or help with working conditions, because who needs those things when management gives you a Pizza Party!

23. Seattle Argonauts - Shadow Fenix – ShadowFenix

I love the name! That is only good thing I am going to say about you.

24. Calgary Dragons - Oranj Konhe - Esso2264

Orange Cone sounds like the ice cream flavor you give to kids when you want them to be sad. Oranj Konhe is the player you draft when you want your fans to be sad.

25. Toronto North Stars - Mac Griddle -mcgriddleluver

I see we are going for our own version of the Phil Kessel diet among SHL players. Hey if Hotdogs can produce a top tier Ironman scoring talent in the NHL, why can’t the McGriddle do it in the SHL. OOOH wait you need some natural talent to be able to do that.

26. Buffalo Stampede (via ) - Deep Thought – Vulfzilla

…do I really need to say it again? Squidwardo this one is all yours.

27. Minnesota Monarchs (via ) - Simo Jääskeläinen - ec06aaj

I think he has more A’s in his name than he has assists in juniors. Never a good sign.

28. New Orleans Specters - Ace Guilded – Arcalegion

New Orleans did not Ace this pick. More like a C- in talent, and a B- in personality. Overall I would say he is a solid C, not good, but hell it is still a passable grade.

29. Toronto North Stars (via ) - Denebor Milasch – Cobbenstein

Dene means a bare, sandy tract or low hill near the sea, and bor means boring. You are bare and boring or as the rest of the league knows it, a typical Toronto pick. Also with that comes the expectations of never achieving anything and becoming a general disappointment.

30. New England Wolfpack (via ) - Jaxson Reaper – ViN

Missed opportunity to be called Backdoor Reaper, which no one knows what it means, but it sounds erotic. Sad.

31. Los Angeles Panthers (via ) - Abdi Smokes – Locrianmidwest

While no one here will judge you, being a smoker is lame. So are the Panthers, match made in heaven? Yeah probably, also both the player and specially the team suck so definitely a match made in heaven.

32. Buffalo Stampede - Johnny Patey V2 – JohnnyPatey

We are all doomed to repeat the mistakes of our past. As Johnny Patey V1 was a failure, V2 is doomed to the same fate. Starting off by getting drafted by Buffalo all but guarantees that. Good luck!

33. Chicago Syndicate – Leo Roze – vic03

And Leo Roze did not rise, Leo Fell. But not nearly far enough, Still too early for this pick.

34. Calgary Dragons (via ) - Jerry Moonshine – grimgrum

Wait Calgary has Swedish Norwegian Twins and they have the booze! Damn it Calgary is drafting a great party! Hockey players terrible, but party amazing!

35. Los Angeles Panthers (via ) - Stun Gun - unconfident69

Goalies do not matter! We have seen the Player versions of pylons win SHL championships. DO NOT WASTE PICKS ON GOALIES! Just purchase a cardboard cutout and place it in net. Stun Gun is pretty close to that cutout, however.

36. Calgary Dragons (via ) - Kaarlo Koivunen – Juho

Not too sure that this has to do with a party, it has nothing to do with hockey because once again this player can’t play. Kaarlo doesn’t sound like any kind of Party fun, a rare miss by Calgary.

37. Baltimore Platoon (via ) - Brandon Gilleyes - Mysterious_Fish

You know if this was a teams, 5th or 6th pick it would make sense. But this was the Platoons first pick! Gilleyes is not a team’s first pick, he is the kind of player you take pity on and put out of his waiting misery after falling for 6 rounds. Sorry Platoon, another miss.

38. Montreal Patriotes (via ) - Rodrigo Banes – Benpachi

A top 25 earner in this year’s draft! Picked at 38! By Montreal! This just goes to show you how terrible this draft really is. I know a lot of the “analysis” say this is a deep draft, but any other draft he would have been a top 60 earner at best. Terrible, just terrible.

39. Philadelphia Forge - Gewmba Stolemamoney – UberBJ

Someone so bad at being a goalie he made a switch to center. I bet next year he will try defense because he is about to suck at something new this season.

40. Philadelphia Forge (via ) - Cob O'Corn – SloppyPainter

It feels like Cob O’Corn is hoping to be the only recognizable part of this shit draft, just like all corn when it becomes waste, but the truth is it is still feces , just like this pick.

Round 3

I am burning out hard, feels like it is time to open up a NOPE round. Maybe I will be wrong, maybe I will be right.

41. Hamilton Steelhawks (via ) -Erno Joonas- Randominoe

At one point everyone figured Erno Joonas would be amazing, instead he is like the rest of the Jonas brothers, and it is a NOPE for me.

42. Toronto North Stars (via ) - Bog Damsel – honey

This Damsel in distress is a NOPE of a pick.

43. Seattle Argonauts - Newton "Lizard" Campbell - Cambrigde_

AHHH Lizard people walk among us. Also Lizards are cold blood there for terrible hockey players on ice. NOPE!

44. Calgary Dragons - Walter Melon - halanv3ntur3

Watermelons can be used for both love making when warmed up just right. Or fill it with vodka for a delicious treat. Either way the party in Calgary keeps getting better! Not a nope of a person, just a nope of a player.

45. Toronto North Stars - Dwayne Swanson - RobJG2

Dwayne Nopeson would have been a better choice.

46. Tampa Bay Barracuda - Average Dude – Jollyjiggs

Average is just not good enough. Try being good for once. NOPE!

47. Toronto North Stars (via ) - Stormlord Imotekh – JoeSteel

No one knows you by your “outlaw name” Stormlord. Sorry Peter NOPE!

48. Los Angeles Panthers (via ) - Napoleon Dinklage – Christopolees

NOPEoleon Dinklage is short shriveled and always to the left.

49. Minnesota Monarchs - Poiklm – Poiklm

The worst pokemon tries out for hockey, and he is still the worst. NOPE!

50. Minnesota Monarchs (via ) - Jimothee Penjiman – Thor
Nopity, nope, nope, on this pick!

51. Atlanta Inferno (via via ) - Tanner Pitts – TannerPitts

Tanner’s pits stink! So this is a NOPE from me.

52. Buffalo Stampede - Lucki Blackwood - NBerry9

Lucki is not lucky, so NOPE!

53. Chicago Syndicate – Just Perfection – RealDealer

DAMN IT! ONCE AGAIN GOALIES DON’T MATTER! NOPE!

54. Manhattan Rage (via ) – Pass

FINALLY, A PICK THAT MAKES SENSE! Still Manhattan should have picked someone better so NOPE!

55. Hamilton Steelhawks - Pass

How the hell did Hamilton pass up on anyone, No one wants to go to Hamilton ever, it is the uneducated version of Toronto. Grab everyone you can to ensure something sticks. NOPE for you.

56. Montreal Patriotes (via ) - Nick Kodiak – PSUwithBigBlue

Should have gone with a Grizzly to get real bear power, Kodiaks are wussies. NOPE

57. New Orleans Specters (via ) - Benny Hanna - nahbruh123

Benny Hanna is a Benny Haha and New Orleans get a NOPE for this terrible pick.

58. New England Wolfpack - Pass

Just Nope, that is all.

59. Philadelphia Forge - Fedot Fedorov – NoLimitxUzii

Fedot Fedorov is just off… wait for it, al, he is awful. Actually he could be Offal too, and he is a NOPE!

60. Edmonton Blizzard - Pass

Edmonton you are just not good enough to Pass. I know you won a cup. First time in like 50+ seasons. Enjoy your moment in the Sun. But this pick is a NOPE!

Round 4

Wait there are more picks…son of a bitch! I am running out of material here. I am skipping the passes at this point, just left over picks…please be the last round.

61. Manhattan Rage - Pass

Meh

62. Montreal Patriotes - sabage cabage – icydice

Sabage Cabage makes me sad, also Cabage sucks so terrible.

63. Seattle Argonauts - Pass
Seen better choice before.

64. Calgary Dragons - Austin Dodd – WetzkyForGretzky

Stone Cold says WHAT!? With this terrible pick.

65. Toronto North Stars - Yves D'Odeur – funk

Wait another goalie?! Ugh when will teams learn!

66. Tampa Bay Barracuda - Meo Vanbiesbrouck – Dhoop

This is what happens when your parents put your name on a random generator, and you lose in life. Just like the Barracuda when they pick you.

67. San Francisco Pride - Pass

Whooo! Great choice Pride. What someone has to nail it!

68. New Orleans Specters - Icee Richradson – IceeBreaksTheSHL

Ice, Ice baby! Feels like you are a one hit wonder that will never reach the same level of fame as you have right now…sad you topped out at 68th overall in the season 74 draft.

69. Minnesota Monarchs - Brandon Strongstick - Dynamicmlb_42

SQUIDWARDO WE GOT ANOTHER ONE!

70. Texas Renegades - Pierre Mailloux - Wind Savon
Anyone named Pierre is terrible. Sorry but you know it is true.

71. Baltimore Platoon - Future Considerations – Zetterberg

Maybe with this pick they can use it for a better option in the future.

72. Buffalo Stampede - Pass

Yay, almost at the end!

73. Chicago Syndicate - Pass

Thank god fewer picks!

74. Los Angeles Panthers - Pass

Why did you keep this pick?! You should have traded it.

75. Hamilton Steelhawks - Pass

….

76. Atlanta Inferno - Pablo IceCreamBar – PabloIceCreamBar

Zzzzzz….huh what wait there was a pick! Oooooh Pablo IceCreamBar, the Cuban equivalent of Pass.

77. Winnipeg Aurora - Pass

….

78. New England Wolfpack - Pass

Zzzzzz

79. Philadelphia Forge - Pass

Please no more picks…

80. Edmonton Blizzard - Pass

Please no more picks….

Round 5


SON OF A BITCH! WHO PICKED, WHO DID IT! I will take that Mother F’er to the back parking lot and teach them a thing or two…

81. Manhattan Rage - Pass
82. Montreal Patriotes - Joulu Kuusi - Derry7

Kuusi is a wussy, and a terrible pick, and why Montreal, why?

83. Seattle Argonauts - Pass
84. Calgary Dragons - Pass
85. Toronto North Stars - Pass
86. Tampa Bay Barracuda - Masataka Ninomiya – TheWoZY

Ninomiya is a No way no how.

87. San Francisco Pride - Fred Bread - pure_bread_fred

Again, with a terrible…ahem *cough, cough* fantastic pick by the Pride! A sure fire future Hall of Famer in the making.

88. New Orleans Specters - Pass
89. Minnesota Monarchs - Pass
90. Texas Renegades - Pass
91. Baltimore Platoon - Pass
92. Buffalo Stampede - Pass
93. Chicago Syndicate - Pass
94. Los Angeles Panthers - Pass
95. Hamilton Steelhawks - Pass
96. Atlanta Inferno - Pass
97. Toronto North Stars (via ) - Pass
98. New England Wolfpack - Pass
99. Philadelphia Forge - Pass
100. Edmonton Blizzard - Pass

106. Tampa Bay Barracuda - Shawn Pawn – hockeyiscool

These

126. Tampa Bay Barracuda - Tony Blundetto – Furio

Are

146. Tampa Bay Barracuda - Temetrius Jamel “Ja” Morant Wick -Scrizz

Terrible

166. Tampa Bay Barracuda - Dontavius sturdy- Dontavius

Picks

186. Tampa Bay Barracuda - David Grimes- DaPsychic

WHY

206. Tampa Bay Barracuda - Exotic Dummy-Bobby bob

TAMPA!


And with that the draft is complete with a perfect breakdown of each pick all the way through. Unfortunately, this draft like so many others seem to have fallen short in expectations and what will likely happen. Well, I guess there is always next year. Good luck to all the draft picks in your reach for mediocrity. Calgary I am coming for the party!

(I hope I made you laugh)

Sig by Lazyeye

Sig by DaBoot

Logan Webb || Kelowna Knights || Maine Timber || San Francisco Pride
Name: Logan Webb
Age: 22
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 200 lbs
Number: 55
Postion: LW
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL REGULAR SEASON
KELOWNA - S70: | GP: 66 | G: 21 | A: 26 | P: 47 | -3 | 28 PIM | 130 HITS
KELOWNA - S71: | GP: 66 | G: 23 | A: 42 | P: 65 | -25 | 24 PIM | 195 HITS
KELOWNA - S72: | GP: 66 | G: 21 | A: 35 | P: 56 | -31 | 34 PIM | 160 HITS
MAINE - S73: | GP: 66 | G: 44 | A: 48 | P: 92 | 23 | 48 PIM | 187 HITS
SMJHL Playoffs:
S70: | GP: 7 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +2 | 2 PIM | 5 HITS
S72: | GP: 6 | G: 3 | A: 3 | P: 6 | 0| 2 PIM | 12 HITS
S73: | GP: 13 | G: 9 | A: 14 | P: 23 | 0| 2 PIM | 12 HITS
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS:
S70: Elias Armia Trophy - Awards in Excellence Given by League Commissioner
S71: Zach Miller Trophy - Awarded to Most Dedicated Player
S73: Four Star Cup Champions - MAINE TIMBER

Kain Webb || 21 || LW || Calgary Dragons || RETIRED
Kain Webb || 21 || LW || Calgary Dragons || RETIRED
Name: Kain Webb
Age: Retired
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 215 lbs
Number: 21
------------------------------------------------------------
Total - GP: 554 || Goals: 248 || Assists: 318 || Points: 566 || Rating: +118
Status: Hall of Famer & LEGEND
TROPHIES/AWARDS:
S06: Jesster Award (Dragons MVP)
[pbl]S09: Anton Razov Trophy
S12: Ron Mexico Trophy
S12: Jay McDonald Trophy
S13: Jay McDonald Trophy
S13: JJ Krever Award
S15: Jesster Award (Dragons MVP)
S15: Dragons Hall of Fame
S16: SHL Hall of Fame

Wait, isn't Dontavius permabanned for being young and dumb?

Wait, isn't Dontavius permabanned for being young and dumb?

I thought the samething, and yet he was drafted.

Sig by Lazyeye

Sig by DaBoot

Logan Webb || Kelowna Knights || Maine Timber || San Francisco Pride
Name: Logan Webb
Age: 22
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 200 lbs
Number: 55
Postion: LW
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL REGULAR SEASON
KELOWNA - S70: | GP: 66 | G: 21 | A: 26 | P: 47 | -3 | 28 PIM | 130 HITS
KELOWNA - S71: | GP: 66 | G: 23 | A: 42 | P: 65 | -25 | 24 PIM | 195 HITS
KELOWNA - S72: | GP: 66 | G: 21 | A: 35 | P: 56 | -31 | 34 PIM | 160 HITS
MAINE - S73: | GP: 66 | G: 44 | A: 48 | P: 92 | 23 | 48 PIM | 187 HITS
SMJHL Playoffs:
S70: | GP: 7 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +2 | 2 PIM | 5 HITS
S72: | GP: 6 | G: 3 | A: 3 | P: 6 | 0| 2 PIM | 12 HITS
S73: | GP: 13 | G: 9 | A: 14 | P: 23 | 0| 2 PIM | 12 HITS
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS:
S70: Elias Armia Trophy - Awards in Excellence Given by League Commissioner
S71: Zach Miller Trophy - Awarded to Most Dedicated Player
S73: Four Star Cup Champions - MAINE TIMBER

Kain Webb || 21 || LW || Calgary Dragons || RETIRED
Kain Webb || 21 || LW || Calgary Dragons || RETIRED
Name: Kain Webb
Age: Retired
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 215 lbs
Number: 21
------------------------------------------------------------
Total - GP: 554 || Goals: 248 || Assists: 318 || Points: 566 || Rating: +118
Status: Hall of Famer & LEGEND
TROPHIES/AWARDS:
S06: Jesster Award (Dragons MVP)
[pbl]S09: Anton Razov Trophy
S12: Ron Mexico Trophy
S12: Jay McDonald Trophy
S13: Jay McDonald Trophy
S13: JJ Krever Award
S15: Jesster Award (Dragons MVP)
S15: Dragons Hall of Fame
S16: SHL Hall of Fame

The earlier I am drafted the earlier I retire seems to be the running trend. NEW has made a grave mistake.

Teal'c of Chulak || Defense || S74 || Maine Timber || 396 TPE ||

Daniil Nikiforov || Winger || S55 || Baltimore Platoon || 2K Club || 

Timo Haas || Goalie || S31 || Los Angeles Panthers HOF || 

Great article spider


Question, do the awards on the page have a way to turn them, or have you not won a cup since season 9?


What was it like watching the simmers put the dot matrix papers into the auto sheet feeder like? Did you have to mail your player updates to a PO box?

Colorado Raptors Capitan S42-Until Forever!
Czechia Wants you! Ask about a transfer!!

S74 - Troy McClure IIII
Late To Draft - Signed by Regina Elk
Drafted 18th overall in SHL Draft to New England Wolfpack






S42-Troy McClure III- D-Retired
Undrafted Signing-S41
S43-S52 SHL Totals: 500 games played 32 goals 189 assists 891 hits 10227 minutes
S41-S42 SMJHL Totals: 100 games played 10 goals 52 assists 187 hits 1818 minutes
S41-S52 Czechia Totals: 124 games played 12 goals 42 assists 230 hits 2468 minutes




Awards
S41 WJC Gold Medal Champion Co-GM!!
S42 Quilha Agante Trophy Winner
S42 Ideen Fallah Trophy Winner
 S44 Champion Cup Champion - Winnipeg Jets
S53 Champion Cup Champion - Hamilton Steelhawks

Great article spider


Question, do the awards on the page have a way to turn them, or have you not won a cup since season 9?


What was it like watching the simmers put the dot matrix papers into the auto sheet feeder like? Did you have to mail your player updates to a PO box?

Great questions. This is my first time back since Season 23, i think. So no I haven't won a cup since season 9. Bit apparently my inactive won a cup in season 24...who knew!

Simming was way better back in the play by play days...sometimes.

The PO box was system worked fantastic with priority mail, but those who used regular postal service often fell behind.


Next question.

Sig by Lazyeye

Sig by DaBoot

Logan Webb || Kelowna Knights || Maine Timber || San Francisco Pride
Name: Logan Webb
Age: 22
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 200 lbs
Number: 55
Postion: LW
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL REGULAR SEASON
KELOWNA - S70: | GP: 66 | G: 21 | A: 26 | P: 47 | -3 | 28 PIM | 130 HITS
KELOWNA - S71: | GP: 66 | G: 23 | A: 42 | P: 65 | -25 | 24 PIM | 195 HITS
KELOWNA - S72: | GP: 66 | G: 21 | A: 35 | P: 56 | -31 | 34 PIM | 160 HITS
MAINE - S73: | GP: 66 | G: 44 | A: 48 | P: 92 | 23 | 48 PIM | 187 HITS
SMJHL Playoffs:
S70: | GP: 7 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +2 | 2 PIM | 5 HITS
S72: | GP: 6 | G: 3 | A: 3 | P: 6 | 0| 2 PIM | 12 HITS
S73: | GP: 13 | G: 9 | A: 14 | P: 23 | 0| 2 PIM | 12 HITS
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS:
S70: Elias Armia Trophy - Awards in Excellence Given by League Commissioner
S71: Zach Miller Trophy - Awarded to Most Dedicated Player
S73: Four Star Cup Champions - MAINE TIMBER

Kain Webb || 21 || LW || Calgary Dragons || RETIRED
Kain Webb || 21 || LW || Calgary Dragons || RETIRED
Name: Kain Webb
Age: Retired
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 215 lbs
Number: 21
------------------------------------------------------------
Total - GP: 554 || Goals: 248 || Assists: 318 || Points: 566 || Rating: +118
Status: Hall of Famer & LEGEND
TROPHIES/AWARDS:
S06: Jesster Award (Dragons MVP)
[pbl]S09: Anton Razov Trophy
S12: Ron Mexico Trophy
S12: Jay McDonald Trophy
S13: Jay McDonald Trophy
S13: JJ Krever Award
S15: Jesster Award (Dragons MVP)
S15: Dragons Hall of Fame
S16: SHL Hall of Fame

Simo Jäääääääääskelaaaaaainen is very offended at this characterisation

#27 Simo Jääskeläinen | D | Seattle Argonauts

-CAREER ACHIEVEMENTS-

S73 Team Finland - World Junior Championships - Bronze

S74 Detroit Falcons - Four Star Cup

S74 Team Norden - World Junior Championships - Gold

S75 Team Norden - World Junior Championships - Gold

S76 Team Norden - World Junior Championships - Gold

S77 Edmonton Blizzard - Named Alternate Captain

S77 Edmonton Blizzard - Reached 1000 TPE

S77 Team Finland - World Championships - Bronze

S78 Team Finland - World Championships - Silver

-AWARDS-

S74 SMJHL All-Star Team (Last Man In)

S74 Alexis Metzler Award (Nomination)

S75 Jack Cross Award (Nomination)

-CAREER STATISTICS-
SHL: 132 GP / 12 G / 30 A / 42 P / -94 / 412 Bl / 126 Hi

IIHF: 24 GP / 1 G / 6 A / 7 P / +7 / 35 Bl / 26 Hi

SMJHL: 264 GP / 23 G / 84 A / 107 P / +36 / 338 Bl / 403 Hi

WJC: 48 GP / 3 G / 10 A / 13 P / +6 / 106 Bl / 42 Hi

-TRANSACTIONS-

S73 - Drafted by Detroit in round 1, pick #13 overall

S74 - Drafted by Minnesota in round 2, pick #27 overall

S75 - Rights traded from Minnesota to Edmonton

S77 - Traded from Edmonton to Seattle

Simo Jäääääääääskelaaaaaainen is very offended at this characterisation

Sig by Lazyeye

Sig by DaBoot

Logan Webb || Kelowna Knights || Maine Timber || San Francisco Pride
Name: Logan Webb
Age: 22
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 200 lbs
Number: 55
Postion: LW
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL REGULAR SEASON
KELOWNA - S70: | GP: 66 | G: 21 | A: 26 | P: 47 | -3 | 28 PIM | 130 HITS
KELOWNA - S71: | GP: 66 | G: 23 | A: 42 | P: 65 | -25 | 24 PIM | 195 HITS
KELOWNA - S72: | GP: 66 | G: 21 | A: 35 | P: 56 | -31 | 34 PIM | 160 HITS
MAINE - S73: | GP: 66 | G: 44 | A: 48 | P: 92 | 23 | 48 PIM | 187 HITS
SMJHL Playoffs:
S70: | GP: 7 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +2 | 2 PIM | 5 HITS
S72: | GP: 6 | G: 3 | A: 3 | P: 6 | 0| 2 PIM | 12 HITS
S73: | GP: 13 | G: 9 | A: 14 | P: 23 | 0| 2 PIM | 12 HITS
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS:
S70: Elias Armia Trophy - Awards in Excellence Given by League Commissioner
S71: Zach Miller Trophy - Awarded to Most Dedicated Player
S73: Four Star Cup Champions - MAINE TIMBER

Kain Webb || 21 || LW || Calgary Dragons || RETIRED
Kain Webb || 21 || LW || Calgary Dragons || RETIRED
Name: Kain Webb
Age: Retired
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 215 lbs
Number: 21
------------------------------------------------------------
Total - GP: 554 || Goals: 248 || Assists: 318 || Points: 566 || Rating: +118
Status: Hall of Famer & LEGEND
TROPHIES/AWARDS:
S06: Jesster Award (Dragons MVP)
[pbl]S09: Anton Razov Trophy
S12: Ron Mexico Trophy
S12: Jay McDonald Trophy
S13: Jay McDonald Trophy
S13: JJ Krever Award
S15: Jesster Award (Dragons MVP)
S15: Dragons Hall of Fame
S16: SHL Hall of Fame

Who said I wasn't involved in that market? Phenomenal performance on and off the ice

Squidwardo Tentacles | LW | Seattle Argonauts | 1397 TPE

Name: Squidwardo Tentacles 

Birthplace: Riga, Latvia

Height: 6'4"

Weight: 185

Number: 81]

Current Team: Seattle Argonauts

-----------------------------------------------

SHL Career:

Seattle Argonauts:

Regular Season | 132 GP | 35 G | 68 A | 103 P | -80 | 64 PIM | 227 H
Playoffs | 4 GP | 0 G | 1 A | 1 P | -5 | 6 PIM | 4 H

-----------------------------------------------

SMJHL Career:

Yukon Malamutes:

Regular Season | 264 GP | 96 G | 151 A | 247 P | +34 | 212 PIM | 664 H

Playoffs | 36 GP | 10 G | 18 A | 28 P | -9 | 12 PIM | 91 H

-----------------------------------------------

Career Highlights:

S74 Bronze Medal WJC

S74 SMJHL All-Star

S76 SMJHL All-Star

5th All Time in Points for Yukon

5th All Time in Assists for Yukon

1st All Time in Penalty Minutes for Yukon

3rd All Time in Hits for Yukon

-----------------------------------------------

Team Awards:

S73-S76 Dynamite Award - Led Team in Hits

S74+76 Swing Dog Award - Led Team in Assists

S75+76 Prospector Award - Led Team in PIMs
S76 Team Dog Award - Most Outstanding Forward 

S76 Gold Rush Award - Led Team in Points

-----------------------------------------------

Transactions:

SMJHL Draft - 22nd OVR to Yukon/pbl]

[pbl]SHL Draft - 7th OVR to Seattle

This is peak analysis lmao. Loved it.

Ps.: You're more than welcome to the Calgary party

I'll give YOU a 2nd line Spidey.......

<3

Great questions.  This is my first time back since Season 23, i think.  So no I haven't won a cup since season 9.  Bit apparently my inactive won a cup in season 24...who knew!

Simming was way better back in the play by play days...sometimes.

The PO box was system worked fantastic with priority mail, but those who used regular postal service often fell behind.


Next question.

Welcome back! You plan on slinging webs for a good time, a long time, or a long good time?


Also I won an IA cup too, does that make us like IA cousins or something?

Colorado Raptors Capitan S42-Until Forever!
Czechia Wants you! Ask about a transfer!!

S74 - Troy McClure IIII
Late To Draft - Signed by Regina Elk
Drafted 18th overall in SHL Draft to New England Wolfpack






S42-Troy McClure III- D-Retired
Undrafted Signing-S41
S43-S52 SHL Totals: 500 games played 32 goals 189 assists 891 hits 10227 minutes
S41-S42 SMJHL Totals: 100 games played 10 goals 52 assists 187 hits 1818 minutes
S41-S52 Czechia Totals: 124 games played 12 goals 42 assists 230 hits 2468 minutes




Awards
S41 WJC Gold Medal Champion Co-GM!!
S42 Quilha Agante Trophy Winner
S42 Ideen Fallah Trophy Winner
 S44 Champion Cup Champion - Winnipeg Jets
S53 Champion Cup Champion - Hamilton Steelhawks

Welcome back! You plan on slinging webs for a good time,  a long time,  or a long good time?


Also I won an IA cup too, does that make us like IA cousins or something?

Clearly I am swinging for a good time...but it is not a long time. I am told girls prefer it that way.

100% it does! Hopefully kissing cousins, the best kind.

Sig by Lazyeye

Sig by DaBoot

Logan Webb || Kelowna Knights || Maine Timber || San Francisco Pride
Name: Logan Webb
Age: 22
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 200 lbs
Number: 55
Postion: LW
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL REGULAR SEASON
KELOWNA - S70: | GP: 66 | G: 21 | A: 26 | P: 47 | -3 | 28 PIM | 130 HITS
KELOWNA - S71: | GP: 66 | G: 23 | A: 42 | P: 65 | -25 | 24 PIM | 195 HITS
KELOWNA - S72: | GP: 66 | G: 21 | A: 35 | P: 56 | -31 | 34 PIM | 160 HITS
MAINE - S73: | GP: 66 | G: 44 | A: 48 | P: 92 | 23 | 48 PIM | 187 HITS
SMJHL Playoffs:
S70: | GP: 7 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +2 | 2 PIM | 5 HITS
S72: | GP: 6 | G: 3 | A: 3 | P: 6 | 0| 2 PIM | 12 HITS
S73: | GP: 13 | G: 9 | A: 14 | P: 23 | 0| 2 PIM | 12 HITS
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS:
S70: Elias Armia Trophy - Awards in Excellence Given by League Commissioner
S71: Zach Miller Trophy - Awarded to Most Dedicated Player
S73: Four Star Cup Champions - MAINE TIMBER

Kain Webb || 21 || LW || Calgary Dragons || RETIRED
Kain Webb || 21 || LW || Calgary Dragons || RETIRED
Name: Kain Webb
Age: Retired
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 215 lbs
Number: 21
------------------------------------------------------------
Total - GP: 554 || Goals: 248 || Assists: 318 || Points: 566 || Rating: +118
Status: Hall of Famer & LEGEND
TROPHIES/AWARDS:
S06: Jesster Award (Dragons MVP)
[pbl]S09: Anton Razov Trophy
S12: Ron Mexico Trophy
S12: Jay McDonald Trophy
S13: Jay McDonald Trophy
S13: JJ Krever Award
S15: Jesster Award (Dragons MVP)
S15: Dragons Hall of Fame
S16: SHL Hall of Fame

I was Expecting to get ripped more. Fun read, Spidey.

Shoutout TheOPSquid for the Sig

Langston Hardison-Laurent | | LW | | Winnipeg Aurora

Name: Langston Hardison-Laurent

Birthplace: Gainesville, USA

Height: 6'3"

Weight: 202

Number: 7]

Current Team: Winnipeg Aurora

Former Team: Yukon Malamutes (SMJHL)

IIHF Nation: Switzerland

Yukon Captain S76

Yukon Alternate Captain S74-S75

-----------------------------------------------

SHL Regular Season Stats:
66 GP | 20 G | 29 A | 49 P | -33 | 145 S | 62 PIM | 76 H | 7 SB
SHL Post Season Stats:

SMJHL Regular Season Stats:

264 GP | 129 G | 137 A | 266 P | +3 | 902 S | 134 PIM | 527 H | 60 SB

SMJHL Post Season Stats:

36 GP | 15 G | 12 A | 27 P | -1 | 129 S | 4 PIM | 64 H | 7 SB

-----------------------------------------------

Transactions:

Drafted 55 OA by the Yukon Malamutes in the S73 SMJHL Entry Draft

Drafted 17 OA by the Winnipeg Aurora in the S74 SHL Entry Draft

-----------------------------------------------
Achievements:
S76 IIHF Silver Medal

-----------------------------------------------

Awards:

S76 IIHF Silver Medal

S76 Zach Miller Award

S74 Ideen Fallah Trophy

S74 Raymond Lindsay Trophy

S74 Roberto Martucci Trophy - 55 Goals

S74 Jared Hanson Trophy - 95 Points

S74 Alex Light Trophy

S75 SMJHL All-Star

S75 SMJHL All Star Game First Star

S74 SMJHL First Team All-Star

S74 SMJHL All Star Game First Star

Team Awards:

S76 Struck Gold Award

S75 Musher Award
S75 Swing Dog Award
S75 Gold Rush Award
S75 Team Dog Award

S74 Musher Award

S74 Struck Gold Award

S74 Gold Rush Award

S74 Klondike Award

S74 Team Dog Award

I'll give you some Cal Juice, buddy

Cal Juice
Tomas Zadina
Brady McIntyre