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S74 PT#1: Poindexter Painpoints

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Pork Tenderloin might not show up a whole lot on the scoresheet, but he impacts every game in a unique way. His main skill is being able to limit the offensive chances of the opposing team on a nightly basis. He is a takeaway machine and blocks shots like no other. Night in and night out he is able to bump other players off the puck and limit the scoring chances, making the job of his goalie much, much easier. In his 3 seasons in the major league so far he's been able to keep his GA/60 under 3 which is really impressive. Not only that but he isn't sacrificing offensive production for defensive ability. He doesn't rack up points like most of the other players on his team, but his GF/60 is still above 4 in all of his seasons so far and I can only see that improving as time goes on.

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Obviously, Michael fedded as the most underrated player on the team. If he wasn't underrated, he wouldn't even be rated because everyone else has just been rating and it's a barrage of moral and trying to think they know hockey analytics, meanwhile, Michael fitted just hit and he boomed, and he scored and he slapped, and trouble is always carried in the cannon because f*** it. We're also selling drugs I sell candy to babies because I like your mom's lady, but also lymes on the team now so you'll better be ready for Stevie, h, come and flee with that hairing timber. Raj, he's about to bring the hammer down to your mom's timber and put it in the saw. Mill, because that's what we do down in Tampa. We don't give a f*** and never gave a d***Just like young bloods the original. I'm glad it's not that stupid band that's out now. I'm talking about straight guttership, go in 818. You know what I mean, you don't even know cause you're all that generation ZZA whatever yeah, wasn't there. For phone talks and harmony and other stuff and not having smartphones and just not even have a myspace.

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This may be the last season you can officially call Dunkler Sowerwine underrated. That’s because in one week of work, he is halfway to his season high points total! It’s almost guaranteed that he will set a new high this year, so I’ve got to get this underrated piece out fast before the rest of the league takes notice! Dunkler is in his third season on the Detroit blue line, with a new defensive partner across from him. Last season Dunkler was paired with Zedward Zilliams for the entire season. Sowerwine and Zilliams were pretty much a shutdown duo, who let the Falcon forwards create their own offense. This year he is paired with Simo Jääskeläinen, the hard-hitting Swede. Dunkler has effectively swapped places with the extremely dangerous Mephistopheles Morgonstjärna, who looks to become one of the top scoring D-men in the SMJHL this year.

It could be the added benefit of 2 years of experience in the J, or maybe its this evolving Falcons team around him. But this appears to be a new career high for Sowerwine.

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(This post was last modified: 12-10-2023, 03:35 PM by Takk806. Edited 1 time in total.)

Xavier Beausoleil getting tutored by Colorado coGM Takk806 about how to properly read a player's stats so that he can be a COL asset even when retired from the ice.

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Xavier Beausoleil
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Position RW
Height : 6.5ft
Weight : 236lbs
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Looking the New Orleans Specters, it is shocking to me that more people are not talking a Hugh Manius the fourth-year defense appear to be on the cusp of a turning the corner in becoming one of the elite players in the league. The third generation of the Manius clad to play in the SHL has been consistently improving his play and has become solid role player on the team although he does appear done yet. With many of the New Orleans Specters currently regressing in the skills, Hugh appears to be staring the making and protentional super star of the future for the Specters. As plyers like Patya Perevalov, Atticus Hale and Xavier Doom are starting to show their age and the Specter’s growing youth like Mr. Manius are key to the future of the franchise. In short do not count the huge man out as his impact in the league is just beginning.
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Today, Yannick Svoboda was approached by an analytics site to have him help them by wearing some of their monitoring equipment. After they explained their request and offered some compensation, Svoboda immediately said he'd be happy to do it without any money involved. The reasoning was that he wanted to boast about his metrics and show the world how good of a player he is. The analytics agency was content with his response and provided him with the equipment. As they walked away and rounded a corner, Svoboda immediately began to panic about what he just got himself into.

The truth is, he's beginning to feel pretty washed up as he is getting deep into regression. Although statistically he knows he's having a good season, he is well aware of his worsening physical capabilities that this website is hoping to monitor. Of course, he couldn't drop his facade of confidence in his skill, which is why he agreed. Now he needs to turn it up in his next game, hopefully he won't drop the ball and show the world how much he has truly regressed.

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Answering for Option 1:

Vaseline Podcalzone, despite being one of the older players in the league, still has that spark in his game. What many fail to see is that Podz is able to maintain a physical game that can still be effective at times. Indeed, what he may lack in skill and speed, he makes up for in his willingness to take the body and check his opponent. That style of sensible hockey is seldom seen in a more flashy and skills-based game.

Podcalzone over the course of his career has been effective in various facets offensively as well. From being an effective scorer in certain seasons, to being an incredible playmaker in others, to having incredibly well rounded games, it becomes clear that he is a player that can really serve any role that is needed on the roster. It would be reasonable to describe him as a real utility player. Just don't ask him to take a face-off.

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If Sophie Bordeleau was asked to wear tracking equipment during games for a season, she'd be happy to accept the offer. Being a younger team, Calgary is a squad that doesn't have many eyeballs watching them, so it's a nice way to connect with fans and give them an inside look of the paths and processes that go into being a professional hockey player. Especially since the gear is non-disruptive, there's really no downside to having the equipment on. The most interesting parameters being tracked for Sophie's play would probably be her skating speed and pathing - being such a prototypical skill player means she can weave in and out of traffic on the ice to get to the open spots. It would also be interesting to see a heat map of Sophie's play to see which spots of the ice she likes to spend the most time in, particularly in the offensive zone. Overall, it would just be a really fun way for a pro hockey player to learn more about their own tendencies.

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Written Task: A well-known analytics site has asked your player to wear monitoring equipment for the season to help them improve their product and create more stats for public consumption. They're offering to pay you (not a lot, they're just a fan site!) and the equpiment will not interfere with your play. Do you accept? Why or why not?

Of course I accept, anything that might be able to show me what to improve so I can play better. I'm only a second year player so I'm not too concerned if my play isn't as good as my stats show, I just want to improve and find the best way to help my team. Plus there is another added bonus to all of this, it's a well known website and it's another opportunity to get my name out there and really show people my game and how I'm willing to do anything to get better. Another part of this agreement the people behind the website to come to the rink and get to record a workout of me going through all the drills with the equipment on along with a video of me doing it as well. I'll be waiting for the results of the experiment but this was really fun and I'd definitely be willing to do this again.



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Jiggle E. Puff has been approached by a local analytics firm to wear a GPS tracker, heart rate monitor, and blood oxygen sensor combo thing in game to monitor his distance skated as well as his cardiovascular fitness. Jiggle E. Puff would have done it for free, but the company offered to pay him a little for the inconvenience, and Jiggle likes money so he accepted. He has been wearing this tracker monitor thing all season and it has revealed some very interesting data correlations. The human world does not have a high level of understanding about physiology, so this study is the first of it's kind. This data will be provided to the Atlanta team trainers and doctors in order to give them more information to assist in decision making about Jiggle's play time and health. Overall, Jiggle is very happy that the data firm reached out to him and he hopes that the information garnered from this study can be helpful to future generations.

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S58 Elias Armia Award Winner

Much like the broadcasters for the S74 draft, the league was shocked that a relatively ineffective player was picked so high. Pitts stats have not been enough to merit the pick, but he may actually prove to be a steal going forward. Unfortunately, the first year in the SMJHL, Tanner Pitts did not perform up to the hype he was expected too and appeared mediocre. This year he looks to bounce back. We here at The SMJHL News actually believe that people are sleeping on Pitts far to much after his first season. Tanner has similar peripherals to many current high performing SMJHL goalies. Much like last year, Pitts is playing a lot of hockey. While his stats are not looking great, Tanner has been winning games sitting at 8-3. Pitts' ability to act as a workhorse is overlooked and heavily underrated when looking at the Raptors early success. We expect a strong year for Pitts to continue and refuse to believe that he doesn't have superstar potential. Without Pitts the Raptors may be sitting low in the standings again this season.

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