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***HoltzFan10*** · 12-14-2023, 11:13 PM

PT Pass

***hotdog*** · 12-14-2023, 11:17 PM

philippe eko eel has been asked to star in an advertisement for a regional fried chicken chain. the issue for philippe eko eel is primarily that he's an eel and doesn't eat chicken because he never really had access to them as a child eel and also generally only eats eel food (or fish food if they run out of eel food) and doesn't really eat person food at all. he also struggles to star in television spots because he can't talk because he is an eel. they also wanted to put philippe eko eel wrapped around a beautiful chicken sandwich on a billboard - they did a whole photoshoot and everything, but then it kind of looked like the chicken chain was promoting a new eel sandwich (like a sandwich made of eel or otherwise served with eel) and philippe eko eel didn't love the idea of people humans eating eel so he ultimately declined the entire opportunity.

***MikeLiut*** · 12-15-2023, 01:50 AM

Option 2

Hey kids. You want great food? Great atmosphere? No Russian music?

Come to Mexicana Tequila something else

The best in Baltimore.

They have tacos. They have funny hat made of tostitos. You look funny. People laugh. You hit them in the face. Salsa everywhere. No fun.

They have tequila. Not vodka. Really, no vodka. Mexican do not know how to have fun. They put worm in bottle of alcool. They put it voluntarily. What the f…

They have margharita. Not good. They put salt around the glass, not in it. Why put salt? And they have people playing music in restaurant. While you eat. With funny hats. Not fun.

They have taco soup. But they have no potato soup. No Borscht. Mexican mother have no creativity.

Menu is in Mexican, so you cannot read. So you take the beef. It’s spicy. Not like Beef Stroganov. Should hire Russian mothers to make meals.

But hey, eat at Mexicana Tequila Something. They pay me money to say this.

167 words

SloppyPainter · 12-15-2023, 02:11 AM

Cob O’Corn will absolutely do no ads for any company that serves any form of corn, in fact, he’s the leader of a start up group called the ACACT, also known as The Association of Cobs Against Corn Torment. This group stands for not only sentient corn rights, which for the most part are actually literally the same as people, but also the rights of none sentient corn. Not to mention this low grade land some of these corn plants are forced to live and grow on and the fact that nitrogen is being taken away from the use of farmers to help their siblings grow! As a sentient stack of corn you can only imagine the torment of watching hundreds of thousands of your inanimate corn brothers and sisters get chopped up and fed to beasts like the cow when in a few quadrillion years their descendants could also happen upon being sentient. So rise up for corn rights and sign the change.com petition for fair treatment of Corn and their kind.

*NorwegianDemon* · 12-15-2023, 03:35 AM

Option 2: I don’t really want to advertise something I don’t use, or eat in this case, but I’m still open to help small local business if they need me to help them. I would start by asking my teammates if any of them have eaten at this restaurant and how they like it. If they did like it, then I would probably be down to do an ad spot for the restaurant in question. I would then go on to meet whoever own the restaurant to make sure they are people that I want to associate myself with. When I accept and got there, the ad spot was fairly simple, like you would expect from a small business. I would be sitting down at a table, while the rest of the restaurant is completely empty, and the owner would bring me my meal that I would pretend to eat said meal, since I don’t like the food, then the food would magically disappear from the plate I would smile at the camera with a thumbs up.

175 words

Rtpc31 · 12-15-2023, 10:29 AM

Let me tell you something about Rence Sykut that you might not know about him. He does not discriminate where his endorsement money is coming from whatsoever. Whatever your niche is in the food service marketplace, Rence wholeheartedly supports what you do and your food is the best in town hands down. Do you operate an escargot food truck? Rence will endorse the snot out of it. How about a blood sausage bodega? Rence is bleeding the colors your swag. How about a mall kiosk where you sell people flavored rocks to suck on? Rence is rockin it right there with you. As long as that endorsement check clears, Rence will shill for whatever your sketchy product may be. So come on down to try Gary's Industrial Waste Soup Kitchen and participating locations of Wild Bill's Bodily Fluid Boba Tea Shoppe to try one of their new specials and receive your official "licensed" Rence Sykut commemorative barf bag.

160 words

SmittyHextall · 12-15-2023, 12:33 PM

There really isnt many food the Nik does not like. He is open to trying and eating almost any style of food. Sushi being one of his favorites and something he craves often. But his agent gives him a call and says that he has a lucrative deal to work with an Olive company. Now olive oil is fine makes stuff taste better great on salads the like. Olives as them selves? Gross freaking disgusting. Way way WAY to salty not good texture and just do not taste good at all. If there was one food that he would never ever want to try again it would be those gross Italians thing. This includes black as well as Green. They are vile and do not need to be put onto anything. The ruin pizza salads pasta salads you could not catch Nik eating them at all. Nik would rather eat mint (which he is allergic to) then to eat olives in any form. But, If the money is good he would pretend.

ephenssta · 12-15-2023, 01:26 PM

Option 1

I'm definitely posting a video of myself eating a fried chicken after that story comes out. I'm not a huge fighter so maybe the article has some merit, but I'm not missing an opportunity to chow down on some yardbird. I particularly love FRIED chicken, so I'll shuffle around my diet on a day off to get some fried chicken from my favorite local place. I am torn on a side, though, as both mashed taters and fried okra go hard with fried chicken. But the chicken will definitely be there. After that, I think I'll warm up a bit with some chicken noodle soup, a cold weather favorite. After that, I think some chicken alfredo for the pre-game carbs is another great choice. After the chicken alfredo, maybe some wings with the team as a post-game outing to celebrate a win. All of this will, of course, be extensively documented with tags going out to whatever bum journalist wrote that article.

Whikadoodle · 12-15-2023, 01:30 PM

So what you think that I'm a push over? That I can't win a fight! Well guess what buddy. I think you're right! I'm a big ol push over who can't win a fight. Instead I just score goals and go fast and kick butt and win games. I let my goals do the fighting, and I am the chuck Norris of scoring goals. Im the John wick of snapping twine. I am the Dwayne the rock Johnson of going top shelf. I do not hit faces, I go places. I will instigate a fight to the top of the shl standings. I will land punches in the form of sending your butt back to the bus with a loss. You think you can beat me up? I can beat you up... the leader boards! Just try to fight me. Putting me in a body bag is the only way you are going to stop me from winning the cup.

(165)

Will3 · 12-15-2023, 01:34 PM

Who is the idiot who singled me out as weak. Said I would loose in a fight to a chicken. One of my jerk teammates decided to reference this piece of media as a "funny joke. One slap later and that teammate now sees the error of his ways. (and stars) Clearly the folks at hockeyfighs dot com are not familiar with my history. My whole life has been one big fight to get to this point. I will show everyone just how much strength the hard life I have had produces. No one is safe from my wrath. Not opponents, not teammates, not fan, not not referees, not management, and not even the commissioner is safe from potential destruction at my hands. By the time I am done the individual who thought it wise to single me out will be eating crow, and I will have justice I deserve. I am the toughest woman in the SHL. Nobody forget that.

***Benpachi*** · 12-15-2023, 02:26 PM

Option 1, Written Task

Rodrigo Banes, having tried his best to this point to adjust to North American ice hockey after coming over from Latvia, is still finding his way. However, being singled out by hockeyfights.com as being unable to win a fight against a chicken, is a step to far. Already frustrated with his lack of production in his SMJHL career, he would respond by devoting a large part of his training to strength-building. To respond directly to the allegations, he would livestream eating an entire bucket of chicken and donate the proceeds to charity. Further to that, he intends to seek out Quebecois fighting legend George St. Pierre for private fighting lessons. After some time to prepare, he will choose his spot and pick a fight with a big guy, something he can really make a name for himself with.

Outside of that slightly maniacal plan, he'd likely just give a very generic media scrum talking about 'not really being on social media,' and 'not letting the outside and media noise distract (him) from my(his) game.'

*domffl* · 12-15-2023, 02:30 PM

James Ward-Prowse isn't oft talked about in the same sentence as "fighting," but that's exactly what he wants them to think. Like every good procrastinator knows, the best way to set yourself up for success is to set others' expectations of yourself extremely low. So when JWP heard that hockeyfights dot com had singled him out as the league's easiest pushover, he smiled. His plan was unfolding perfectly. Now all he had to do was wait for someone else to try to instigate a fight since they thought he would be easy pickings. But JWP had been training for this day. Most people don't waste TPE by putting it in fighting. But occasionally that funny guy will increase it to 6 just so that they win the fights that they do get into. Well, JWP increased his fighting to 7 just so that he could beat the normal 5's AND those clever 6's. He welcomes any challenger to a fight on the ice. He'll get his name off that list very soon and make it to where no one else in the league ever tries to fight him again for the rest of his career.

Operation Ivy · 12-15-2023, 02:39 PM

Written Task / Option 2

If I was offered an ad spot for a restaurant/food item that I did not care for, you bet I would put a smile on my face and do it for the right price. Look, I get that we all have reputations to uphold, but we also have families to support and loans to pay off. For example, I hate eggs. If a breakfast restaurant gave me a blank check to eat eggs on camera and talk about how great they are at this restaurant, I would suck it up and do it. The thing is though, I am no actor. So in this commercial, I believe it would be pretty apparent that I did not care for what I just tried. There would probably be a smile on my face, but not a genuine smile by any means. The next time I go to that restaurant on my own time though, you better believe that I will be eating pancakes and waffles rather than the eggs!

MMFLEX · 12-15-2023, 02:44 PM

ISFL PT

Nictox · 12-15-2023, 02:59 PM

Option 1:

Me? A chicken? Baaa ha ha. That is great. Sure I do not get into fights, I know that. I lay big hits and am strong on the corners so I get why people are talking about me dropping the gloves. Truth be told, I do not see a need to fight when I hit everything cleanly. Surely I would have to answer the bell on a bad hit, but a good clean hit? Nahh. It sounds like this "hockey fights dot com" is looking for more content that I am not willing to give. The only post you will see me make about this subject is this post and the following picture of me hanging out with a bunch of other players eating chicken dinners. Now if someone takes a run at Meta or Alexi then my hands would be more willing. Of course, they can handle themselves, but I would obligated to protect my teammate.

RIP Dangel #AD26 | RIP TDZ

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