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Troy_McClure03 · 12-18-2023, 09:39 PM

This is my 7rd weekly random ramblings around the Jr league. Please feel free to PM me if you have anything to contribute or add.

Starting off with anything replied from 4ish days ago last Time. Feel free to catch up right about....here
Old Ramble Follow-ups:

PSN has dropped the ball... or should we say The Marbles. The Marble Races have signed a 5 year, 30 million dollar deal with Sirius XM and YouTube. You can listen to a 24 hour radio program called Marble Droppers, where all you hear is Marbles falling. Between 3-4 PM EST they do the drop live in SiriuxXMs lobby in New York city. Last week 3 people were injured, one is still in Critical condition as they fell for over 45 minutes on all the marbles. No SHL update on who will show the live games.

User @Rich refused to comment on our comments about comments referencing Casio and Casino. We will try again next week.

Czechia

Team Czechia still has 1, maybe 2 slots left for transfers. PM or DM the Federation Head as soon as possible if you are interested! Czechia

--the mouse story has turned into a bit of a mess for Mouse Co, as they have been found running A mouse mill in 34 us states. No one was willing to say why they were producing so many mice. @fubaguy 's wallet was found right outside of Boise Mouse Mill and Discount Liquor.
We have also been informed that after a 4 hour standoff, Police were forced to set off multiple explosives on Nigel Ratburn's mansion. Police believed that Nigel was in possession of a new kind of Rat Elixir that would cause mice to grow 5 times in size but be able to squeeze in holes 50% smaller. We will work to get more details.

New Rambles:

Jeff Hunziker is on steroids. We have confirmed by digging through all the trash bags outside of the practice facility that the current leading goal scorer / point getter / rat catcher from QCC is using metabolic steroids. We have asked the league, coaching staff, and teammates to comment, and have not received so much as a HOO. @Redderder15

--Florian Soderberg-Motyla from the YUM YUM has quietly complained about the refs this season. According to teammates, who asked to not be named, Florian is tired of being called for stick infractions. We asked for an interview but were not allowed inside the penalty box. Florian currently leads the Jrs in PIMS and also in evil glares from the box. @Fluw.

-- Colorado Raptors have opted to make no new friends as they have changed strategies this season. For starters, every player must throw 100 hits this season. According to our insider, management has offered a "pizza party with extra cheese" if every player throws 100 hits. So far Xavier Beausoleil has taken them up on the offer, throwing 100 hits in 36 games so far. Leonard Wood and Jussi Mutou are close behind with 97 and 96 each. We overheeard them saying, "man Xavs really wants that pizza, even though they could just buy one." The team refused comment at this time. @Takk806
@MuNk22 @ThisSeemsFishy

-- Nevada Battle born Goats Goalie JUST PERFECTION has attributed a clean diet, plenty of sleep and water, and a new form of meditation called "Slackin" for their success. According to reports from both Nevada and Yukon, Slackin' is a form of "psycho-pseduo-philiacasis" where the person acknowledges the things they have to do in their life, and follows that up with no effort to do said things. According to coaching staff, Perfection has.... perfected it. "It's crazy what Perry does with it don't ya know? He just sits there. They will say things like 'yeah gotta go to the bank soon' and just not do it. It's insane!" The meditation lasts the entire season and the thought is that by not doing anything, when you are forced into finally doing something, the guilt / urge to succeed shoots up and allows you to over preform from what you would normally be able to do. It is like procrastination on QCC styled steroids! @RealDealer

--According to a report from Discord: Chris Valentine of the Texas Renegades is a pretty swell guy. They eat at Texas Roadhouse everynight, and donate 100% of all the leftovers to food banks. To date they have donated 1 chewed on Rib Eye bone. They have also left 5 empty cups of butter. Thanks for the info Dirty Boots! @CapnCooper @downer

-- everyone's favorite robot for the SHL has gotten an upgrade. If you send a message to Ben Jammin asking for Cake or Pie, Ben Jammin will deliver it! All you have to do is:

1.) On discord type @usernotfound /sudo [CAKE OR PIE] [[if: Hungry = 1 than Pie/Cake][If Hungry =0 than Cake/Pie] please do not abuse this command, I will not find it funny.

2.) ????

3.) Profit.

That's all for the updates for now! Feel free to PM on any Rambles. If you want to be anonymous, please say so in the title! Also feel free to send me any rambles!! Until next time, Good day, good news, good luck!

(890 words, some of those words were also spoken by the greatest wizards of all time.)

***sve7en*** · 12-18-2023, 10:24 PM

Hi

***Fluw*** · 12-19-2023, 01:43 PM

"The stick is not a weapon, the stick is not a weapon, the stick is not a....fuck" - FSM

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