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Spritestuff · 12-30-2023, 01:46 PM

Will be reposted in media cuz Im a dumb fuckin widdle baby junior league asshole.

Spritestuff · 12-30-2023, 01:55 PM

Sigh...

hhh81 · 12-30-2023, 01:57 PM

Option 2

Baku’s favorite set play has to be the go-to set for Baltimore’s top powerplay unit. Adrian O’Rugg sets up behind the net to dig pucks out and find open players, Erik Bergmark takes up the left side where he’s in the “Ovechkin” position, while Philip Fry and Duncan Mackenzie play the points with Baku right in the middle of the action in front of the goalie. The play usually initiates from Fry as the main point. He’ll usually pass across to Mackenzie who hovers between point and the right board. The goal is to give O’Rugg space behind the net to find an open pass to Bergmark or Olubori, but more often than not a point shot gets deflected by Olubori and someone jumps on the rebound to get the goal. Olubori had 6 “butt assists” this season, where the puck deflected off his strong glutes to give a teammate an open rebound goal. It’s not a pretty play at all, but the Baltimore faithful love it all the same. Go Platoon!

oknom · 12-30-2023, 02:23 PM

A new trend is sweeping the hockey media world, and has brought a lot of attention from younger fans just discovering the sport for the first time. Get familiar with V60, the new statistic developed by hockey fan Chad-bro Chill. V60, short for Vibes-per-60, has spawned a tidal wave of analysis of current and previous players at the SHL level.
“Yeah so I was doom scrolling on TikTok and caught bro with nasty flow. And you could tell he didn’t even know he was cooking. Bro was out there just doing it, no flex, no rizz, just posi. So I just had to look this dude up. And the more research I did, the more addicted I got.” – Chad-bro Chill
Players high in V60 have seen increased social media activity and jersey sales. Two players leading the league in V60 are Kermit Murphy of the Baltimore Platoon and John Brown of the Tampa Bay Barracuda. Neither player was quite sure what we were talking about when reached for comment.

WC: 169

***ThePyroAlpaca*** · 12-30-2023, 03:22 PM

The stat Juan tymer has created for the blog is Dennys Blood sacrifices per sixty. Obviously the Quebec City Citadelles are the best at this team stat as the only team averaging greater than 1 per game. This stat revolves around team finding a fan, eithers team fans work the chant just changes, and doing a blood sacrifice at dennys while eating a grand slam. Clearly the most important part of the ritual is the being at Denny as the family friendly atmosphere surround by family is really the only vibe that males the sacrifice work. The sacrifice is scientifically proven to increase team skill and Juan is unsure why more teams don't do it as regularly as Quebec. Just look at the Quebecs numbers last year compared to this year. The increase is sacrifice per 60 also has a profound effect on increasing goalie performance specially goals against average and shutouts.

*Gordon Bombay* · 12-30-2023, 03:31 PM

isfl pt

*FaraDian* · 12-30-2023, 04:57 PM

Option 2

Marton just want to get in front of the net. But he's having to play center these days, which means taking faceoffs. To get back to what he loves, his line has developed a set play that involves him just barely participating in the faceoff. Instead, he tries to pin down the opposing center's stick, then recall his old soccer days to backheel the puck back to the blueline. From their, he tries to push off the player he's been (legally) holding, get the legs pumping, and quickly cover the distance to the crease. When it works right, he can use the leverage to also spin around, getting his big butt right in the goalie's lap, keeping his skates outside the paint and his stick up for the tip in. Marton took *a lot* of penalties trying to make it happen, but when it works, it's a lot of fun and could someday even result in a goal!

*Evil_AllBran* · 12-30-2023, 06:37 PM

Option 1:

enigmatic · 12-30-2023, 06:43 PM

I have no clue what I'm doing but it's a PP play............ obviously

[Image: QXut90F.png]

RobJG2 · 12-30-2023, 09:18 PM

PBE Affiliate

**SFresh3** · 12-30-2023, 09:27 PM

Option 1:

Sizz · 12-30-2023, 09:42 PM

Option 2: graphic

Max is F1 in this scenario where he brutalizes both defensemen along the boards while keeping control of the puck, then dishes it to a winger who puts it in the net while everyone is focused on the dazzling display of raw power from Max. It has an 11% success rate. [Image: Drill.png?ex=65a33b38&is=6590c638&hm=886...a476cdf72&]

[Image: Drill.png?ex=65a33b38&is=6590c638&hm=886...a476cdf72&]

TheNextGreatOne · 12-30-2023, 10:16 PM

PBE Affiliate - username is FTR

Bonk · 12-30-2023, 10:42 PM

Hugh Manius’s favorite setup in the offensive end of the ice is the power play break out with the Russian weave thrown into it. The puck is retrieved in the defensive corner of the ice. By the defensive pairing of Xavier Doom and himself. From there the puck is sent to one on the wingers and passed over to the center from there the winger falls into the center position as the center passes to the other winger who feeds it bask to the other winger and falls in the center position as the original winger falls into the other winger position. By this point in time one on the them better be ready to shoot he puck or provide a beautiful drop pass to Hugh or Xavier. So, one of them can fire into the net and score. That is Hugh Manius’s favorite offensive play heading down the ice.

Words ~152

halanv3ntur3 · 12-30-2023, 10:44 PM

Option 1

At the beginning of this season, Walter Melon worked in closed conjunction with a national statics firm, Stataholics to determine which SMJHL barn sold the most adult beverages per game. The average attendance of 8,000 people per SMJHL barn and an average of 1.78 adult beverages consumed per period across the league, leads us to an average of 1.5 trips to the restroom per game, per barn. Granted this stat will be skewed by the size of any given individual, but these are the closest analytics we were able to obtain thus far in the season.

Our top fanbase with heartiest livers, and obviously largest bladders, are none other than your Carolina Kraken with an average of 2.46 adult beverages consumed per period! (I'm not sure what this says about them, but stats are stats)

In second place were the Detroit Falcons with an average of 1.98 beverages consumed per period. (psh, tiny bladders I guess)

Lastly in third place we have the Anchorage Armada with an average of 1.72 beverages consumed per period. (must be the bathroom breaks from the Kraken nipping at their heels in the standings)

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