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*Puppy* · 01-18-2024, 08:51 PM

Looking at all of the WJC teams for S74, I’ve compiled an extremely accurate ranking of teams that in no way could ever be wrong in any way whatsoever. Please treat this as gospel as there’s no possible way that any mistakes were made in this highly analytical process. Thank you. You’re welcome.

Gold Medal Favorites
Team Norden Sweden

Offensive Ranking: #1
Defensive Ranking: #2
Goalie Ranking: #2 (tied)
Key Players: Jaromir Jagrbomb (QCC), Artturi Lappalainen (STL), Jani Mänty (GFG)

For a team as talented top to bottom as this, it’s hard to imagine them not only making a run into the knockout stages, but also at the top place on the podium as well. Loaded with the most 3rd and 4th year SMJHL veterans in the competition, this team has both the skill and experience to get the job done. NaomiMannequeen & Tsunny have assembled quality on all lines, leaving no clear weaknesses from top to bottom across the roster. Nearly half of this squad comes from Detroit and Quebec, two teams that have just enjoyed successful campaigns, and both coming off extremely good showings both in the regular season, as well as the playoffs.

Tanner Pitts is an excellent option in goal, and with an equally good backup in Denebor Milasch, Team Norden should have some of the best combined net protectors in the competition. Jaromir Jagrbomb leads the defensive group, fresh off having the 3rd best defensive rating on QCC. Even more impressive still is Artturi Lappalainen, who blocked an absolutely bonkers 301 shots in the S74 SMJHL regular season – a mere 95 more than the next nearest other player. With other strong names like I-Stir MyPudding and Kristian Seppanen, this is easily among the best defensive units in the tournament. For options going forward, Jani Mänty comes in as both the goals and assists leader for Great Falls last season. Nick Larsson completed a 74-point season with Vancouver, only just barely above Aksel VINsen who managed 71 at Nevada. With the Solberg twins and other valuable resources ready to take the ice as well, Team Norden may very likely be setting the bar for goals scored in this year’s competition.

Prediction: (1st) This team is absolutely stacked and should be expected to make the semifinals at a minimum. From there, I’d say they have the best odds at taking home gold, but only by the slimmest of margins compared to the other heavy weight punching for gold. Speaking of.

UCORCAL Russia

Offensive Ranking: #2
Defensive Ranking: #3
Goalie Ranking: #1
Key Players: Ondrej von Stoodrick (NF), Lily Jin Morrow (VAN), Rence Sykut (CAR)

In many ways, UCORCAL is just as loaded as Team Norden, and should be considered equals in basically all metrics. Selected by ThePyroAlpaca & vic03, this group top to bottom easily has the potential to win a gold medal and will likely be a dominant team throughout the competition. Just like their top competitor, there is no real weakness in any rotation this group puts out, packed with quality players in each and every role. UCORCAL is balanced in their representation, with their highest concentration being three players from Detroit, Anchorage, and Yukon – all strong playoff teams that made the final eight.

Wayne Holloway is among the strongest goalies the J has to offer, and having another minor league legend in Stun Gun as a backup, there is no better 1-2 at the WJC. To make matters worse for opponents, the defenseman sheltering those goalies are incredibly formidable as well. Oranje Konhe and Leo Roze are perhaps the two best 2nd year defenders in the S74 season, both topping the league in defenseman assists and plus/minus respectively. However, Ondrej von Stoodrick managed to be Newfoundlands best defensive player while also posting up a 51 point season - and is likely the core to this defensive group. Offensively this team boasts two of the top four goal scorers in the SMJHL, with Dan Craig and Lily Jin Morrow each netting 43 and 42 times between them. Somewhat unsung is Rence Sykut, who managed to collect 54 assists – 4th best this season – despite being on one of the lower scoring teams in the league.

Prediction: (2nd) By all means, UCORCAL is one of the top favorites to win this season's WJC gold. Just like Team Norden, they should fully expect to make the final four, and should aspire to take the whole tournament. The slimmest of margins on defense is the only reason I’m justifying ranking them lower, but it’s extremely nit-picky. By the way, this team looks like they’ll be even stronger in S75 – yikes.

Outside Contenders

USA Blue Usa

Offensive Ranking: #3
Defensive Ranking: #5
Goalie Ranking: #2 (tied)
Key Players: Wes Thunderbass (NF), Langston Hardison-Laurent (YUM), Joseph Reed (ANC)

This team has all the makings of a championship team, with only a few notable weaknesses regarding their defensive depth. In terms of and attacking hockey, CloudRobot & ihatereyson have assembled a team capable of scoring on any group they come across - and should prove a massive threat to any team. While position by position they don’t quite match up to the two heavyweight favorites, USA Blue are still more than well equipped to earn a place on the podium and challenge for the top medals. Given they are loaded up with five players from Maine, championship runs are no stranger to this group.

USA Blue are in a similar position as Team Norden, with two equally above-average goalies in their arsenal with Jim Wen and Meo Vanbiesbrouck both as viable starters. The defensemen are the only real weakness this team has compared to the other elite outfits. Wes Thunderbass is the key backline player for the team, but even then, they fit more of a two-way player mold - securing a top five place in points among defensemen this season. Rocky Orwell meanwhile is top five in PIMs and has won a fight – which is certainly a thing (a cool thing). USA Blue really shines with their attacking outfit, something they hold quality at all the way to the depths of the bench. It’s awfully hard to ignore Langston Hardison-Laurent, who finished the S74 season as the league’s top goal scorer at 55. Aside from the league’s best scorer? Not one, not two, but three players who managed to breach the 80 points mark this season with Joseph Reed (89), Trevor Lahey (87), and Ace Guilded (83).

Prediction: (3rd) Of all of the “Outside Contenders” I rate USA Blue as having the best chance of breaking down the top 2 teams and making a run at things. With clear firepower on display, they are capable of beating any team on any day, which only needs to happen a few times to find gold. Still, with the lack of defensive depth compared to other teams, the odds they pull a run like that off are reasonably smaller.

British Isles “The Isles”

Offensive Ranking: #4
Defensive Ranking: #4
Goalie Ranking: #5
Key Players: Kazuchika Okada (ANC), Jussi Mutou (COL), Betzee Nickelback (CAR)

Combining the forces of the UK, Ireland, and… Japan(?), the British Isles team looks to be one of the stronger teams participating in the S74 WJC. With ThisSeemsFishy at the helm, this is a well-balanced, above average team that could really make some noise. While certainly underdogs to the higher ranked teams, there is enough in this roster to spur some surprises and collect a winner’s medal at the end. With solid options all across the ice and reasonable depth to back it up, The Isles should be a tough match for anyone in the competition.

Beau Kavanagh should eat up as many starts as possible, with a rising rookie Shotty McStopper still some ways away from the powerhouse Great Falls netminder. However, The Isles defensive group is much more balanced, with many reliable players ready to take the ice. Kazuchika Okada had a standout year with a top three finish in defensive points in S74, but players like Ho Lee-Smokes and Remington Richardson will offer plenty of quality as well. On the wing, Jussi Mutou was a prominent player for a strong Colorado team, not only collecting an 89-point season, but dishing out an impressive 185 hits as well. With support from Betzee Nickelback, Rowan O'Beirne, and Activity Check, there is plenty for other teams to worry about. Even as you reach deeper into the bench, some of the better S75 rookies like Literally Wizard and Elly Snow-Leopard should help keep defenses honest.

Prediction: (4th) Depending on what you value, The Isles could be the best outside contender of the group. A balanced unit with decent strengths and no glaring weakness, only overall quality separates them from the favorites. A team like this should be aiming to get into the semi-finals, and if they match up well on the day against other top teams, look to push as far as anyone else competing.

Rhine Germany

Offensive Ranking: #6
Defensive Ranking: #1
Goalie Ranking: #9
Key Players: Mephistopheles Morgonstjarna (DET), Westley Kirkpatrick (CAR), Jeff Hunziker (QCC)

Those who follow the wisdom of “defense wins championships” may have a real dark-horse candidate here with Rhine. While jaypc8237 & Crazytomato’s group can’t quite match up to the best attacking teams in the WJC, they absolutely can put down a Berlin-Wall level defense that could leave opponents floundering. This Detroit and Kelowna heavy team will likely frustrate any group they matchup against, and with a solid enough foundation, could shock many. Still, given their lack of attacking depth and rather benign net minding, challenges wait for Rhine at every stage.

The weakest unit here is in front of goal, with two rookie goalies set for the task. Henri Losanov should be the likely starter in comparison to Herman Ståhl, but neither are excellent choices compared to the field. However, either net minder might find themselves with few saves to make on any given night, as a loaded core of veteran defenseman stand before them. It’s hard to know exactly where to start, but the Detroit duo of Mephistopheles Morgonstjärna and Dunkler Sowerwine absolutely stands out. These two find themselves covering basically every top 10 defensive category between them, and both coming off a Four Star Cup winning campaign. Likewise, the Carolina duo of Lazer Gato and Westley Kirkpatrick is as formidable as they come, and really highlight the riches on display with the Rhine defensive unit. While not as deep as other teams attacking groups, the front line of Rhine can tangle with any group in the WJC. Spearheaded by points leader and frequent MVP candidate Jeff Hunziker, this team also sports other forward talent like Prince Marius, Xavier Beausoleil, and even König Wolf of St. Louis. Certainly a collection of players that can make a defense sweat.

Prediction: (5th) While their ranking may seem low, this team is absolutely talented enough to pull off a legitimate championship run. Probably the best dark-horse team in the WJC, a defense this good is always in with a chance of making the dream come true. There’s enough talent on the attacking front to get things done, and Rhine should be right there with USA White and The Isles fighting for a final four position.

Longshots

USA White Usa

Offensive Ranking: #5
Defensive Ranking: #6
Goalie Ranking: #7
Key Players: Napoleon Dinklage (COL), Ryland Murphy (QCC), Shadow Fenix (COL)

Coming in as the best “Longshot” competitor, USA White is a balanced outfit that could very reasonably look to make a deep run, and certainly should make the bracket stage proper. Skyrrhawk has a team that’s good enough on both sides of the ice to make results happen, and will certainly be looking to strike that right chemistry early on. Loaded with 4 players from regular season winners Quebec, USA White will be a tricky opponent boasting many respectable skaters from top to bottom.

While weaker than most goalie tandems in this event, USA White will still have reasonable goal tending from the likes of Newfoundland starter Ben Harris, as well as up-and-comer Karter Mendenhall. The star tandem on defense will be the Maine duo of Jeff Goldblum and Leon Rizzton. However, sophomore Napoleon Dinklage arguably has had the best individual season of the group and will look to continue dishing out hits and assists for USA White. The real teeth of this roster comes from the young and talented attacking core. S75 assists leader Ryland Murphey will serve as a veteran for many skilled 2nd year attacking players. From the S74 class, USA White will be bringing some of the very best - with Shadow Fenix coming off a 93 point season, Céleste Desjardins - the previous rookie of the year with 70 points this campaign, and GM’s Son who snagged 66 points of their own in S74.

Prediction: (6th) While USA White is by no means a bad team, there are simply enough better teams to justify them as an underdog. This group should absolutely find their way into the bracket stage, and will certainly put up strong resistance to anyone wanting a ticket to the semi-finals. Of all the bottom half teams in this ranking, USA White has the best chance of hitting form and collecting a medal in my estimation.

Team ICE Shl

Offensive Ranking: #7
Defensive Ranking: #7
Goalie Ranking: #4
Key Players: Five-Hole Sieve (KEL), Sergey Ivanov (NEV), Mac Griddle (NL)

Despite being a team of “leftovers”, recent form and a look at the roster hint at this team being a knockout stage team once again. With a tough scouting task, Roastpuff did an excellent job collecting deserving players to create a WJC level team ready for battle. While naturally not as talented or deep as some of the other teams participating, Team ICE has enough quality that they should compete in more games than not. Sporting four players from Regina, this group likely has the same trajectory as their SMJHL comparison - somewhere around a first round knockout.

In goal Team ICE will be led by one of the very best in the J, as Five-Hole Sieve should take starting minutes over a promising Vancouver goalie in Joulu Kuusi. The defensive side has some good depth, all containing respectable players who can get the job done. Sergey Ivanov is the most standout of the group, infamous for leading the SMJHL in PIMs for the S74 campaign. Despite this dubious (but awesome) feat, Ivanov was still a top six defenseman in terms of assists. Alongside Sergey, a pair of Regina players in Mikkel Enevoldsen and Bartholomew Chungus Gingersnap III will help hold things down for Team ICE. Another duo, this time in attack, will be leading the way for this team as well. Mac Griddle and Sabage Cabage managed to collect 60 and 56 points respectively. Bolstered by players like Poiklm, and S75 #3 overall draftpick Pinli Switchbang, Team ICE should manage to keep their offense alive against most any team.

Prediction: (7th) Team ICE represents the last possible team I could see managing their way into a gold medal, but their odds should be considered rather slim. More likely, I think this team will have a strong case of making it into the bracket stage, and will look to cause a first round upset if they get a good roll of the dice. Still, any deep runs seem unlikely given the general lack of quality in terms of forwards and defensemen.

Participation Tier

Canada Black Canada

Offensive Ranking: #8
Defensive Ranking: #10
Goalie Ranking: #6
Key Players: Dan Johnston (ANC), Guy Incognito (REG), Maxwell King II (MET)

As we approach the bottom teams, Canada Black falls into the infamous group of teams that even with luck, likely won’t find a route that leads to gold. With perhaps the worst defensive unit in the competition, and not enough attacking threat to make up for it, this Canadian group likely faces a tough uphill battle ahead. Mysterious_Fish will have their work cut out for them, but still has decent chances of escaping group play and giving their team a chance to play spoiler in the bracket stage. With a healthy group of four players from Maine, they could be up for the task.

The goalie position should belong to Yves D'Odeur, but don’t be surprised to see Masked Stanger get better than backup play time despite being a rookie. Overall, it’s an average but respectable partnership of netminders. Defense is, oh boy. Thankfully, Canada Black does have both Dan Johnston and Guy Incognito there to eat up first line minutes, as this duo is by no means the 10th ranked defense in the WJC. The issues more come from the defensive depth, where a line of S75 rookies are all that lay in reserve for the Canadian outfit. For attacking options, there’s a bit more to be excited about. Maxwell King II earned 77 points over the S74 season, only six short of leading a very talented Maine team. Jae-ik Barron and Lucki Blackwood are also both capable of giving opposing teams some worries. Alongside that core, a few standout players from the S75 class in Bean Beanman Jr and Mia Lavoie will be looking to make the most of their first WJC.

Prediction: (8th) This is a real bubble team, that if they play their cards right, should end up making it into the bracket stage of the event. Regardless, their quality simply doesn’t match up to some of the elite teams in this event, and will be lucky to cause an upset or two on their run. Perhaps the more reasonable goal will be to gain bragging rights by placing higher than the other Canadian team – which speak of the devil.

Canada Red Canada

Offensive Ranking: #9
Defensive Ranking: #9
Goalie Ranking: #8
Key Players: Buster Knutt (MET), Daniel Durkburg (KEL), Bongo (ANC)

Canada Red will be among the three-team struggle to try and emerge from the scarp at the bottom and make it into the knockout stages of the event. Locrianmidwest will need to combine a bit of luck and skill in order to successfully navigate this group into playing more than the minimum possible games. There certainly are some key players that could make that result happen, and with a bit of good fortune, could provide enough to carry Canada Red into some surprise victories. Like many teams listed above, a quartet of Timber players will be at the heart of any of these chances.

Canada Red won’t be providing the best goaltending in the event, with Just Perfection and Nelly Celly in line for minutes, it’s a respectable, but subpar tandem. Another Maine player will be key on the defensive side of the ice, as Buster Knutt represents one of the more talented members on the squad. Support will come in the form of Abdi Smokes and Graham Schwartz, the 2nd and 3rd year defenseman capable of keeping attackers at bay. Looking at forwards, a duo from Kelowna will be taking center stage for the Canadian group. Trey Daniels and Daniel Durkburg will bring their partnership from the Knights to the WJC, with the latter being the more explosive and dangerous based on recent form. Bongo will complete the first line, a solid option from Anchorage who broke 40 points on the Armada this season. Depth is a notable weakness here with a promising, but young group of standout S75 players ready to fill the ranks. A few of these future stars include Edouard Lavoie, Muon Collider, and Jean-Jacques François Jacques-Jean.

Prediction: (9th) At the moment, it seems like Canada Red might be a half step behind their sister team. By no means do I think there is any clear gap separating the groups, and it shouldn’t surprise anyone if this team manages to sneak into the bracket stage. Whether Canada Red gets to play extra hockey will come down to their performances against the other weaker teams, and as stated above, a bit of luck along the way.

Team World World

Offensive Ranking: #10
Defensive Ranking: #8
Goalie Ranking: #10
Key Players: Valerija Serapin (COL), Unspeakable Horror (NEV), Sad Ketchup (NL)

Down at the very bottom of the hope bucket, we find Team World, who just like in the last WJC, will be in a battle to try and escape the bottom two and make the bracket stages. With a team among the weakest at all positions, Jbay7 will likely have to use a bit of pixie dust in order to get this group in good enough form to steal wins against a stacked field. Not only does this team represent a mix of nationalities and cultures, but it contains no real bias towards any one SMJHL team either. Players from Quebec, Detroit, and Carolina represent the greatest concentration of fellow players.

Song Ju-gong will likely take full starting duties for this team given their underperforming partner in Yerik Akmetzhanov. Despite leading the S74 regular season in wins, the rookie goaltender will have to stand on their head to keep things competitive in most matchups. The lone highlight for this team comes in the form of its defensive unit. Valerija Serapin and Unspeakable Horror are a formidable duo on paper, both S73 SMJHL veterans capable of fending off some of the best attackers around. The rotation gets a bit more dicey, but by no means hits rock bottom, as Jimothee Penjiman from Detroit, and first overall pick from the S75 class Demir Bellona will offer quality play on the ice. In terms of goal scoring, Team World is probably the least loaded in the WJC, offering a deadly combination of low starting quality, and even worse depth. Sad Ketchup represents the biggest attacking threat on the team, fresh off a 73 point season with Newfoundland. For the next best point getters on the team, rookie Andrade La Sombra collected 54 in Colorado, while Shawn Pawn from Quebec put up 47 of their own. The deeper the bench goes, the worse it gets, but at least Team World will have a few reliable goal scorers in their ranks.

Prediction: (10th) Someone had to take the bottom spot, and given the worst depth across all three roles in the WJC, Team World is as strong a candidate as any. Despite the last place rankings, good performances against the Canadian teams could absolutely provide a pathway into the bracket stage, and it wouldn’t be some massive shock to see this group land there. Winning anything beyond that? A massive shock, but given the real underdog nature of this team, more than a few people might be rooting for that very thing.

(3,763 Words, 2x WJC Bonus)