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***Jexter*** · 04-01-2024, 01:29 PM

RETIREMENT ANNOUNCEMENT: It is with a heavy heart and full stomach that Langston Hardison-Laurent announces his intention, effective immediately, to retire from professional hockey. Langston will be immediately taking up golf in an attempt to qualify for the PGA and secure an invite to the Masters Tournament. He would like to thank absolutely no one, because April Fools as a day is very weird.

Alright, enough with the lame April Fool’s joke.
Hello and welcome back to the power rankings, S76 Post-Draft/Preseason Edition!

In actuality, I may be done with SMJHL Power ranking after this season, still up in the air.

We are going to look at the total TPE, how teams were trending, their placement last season as well notable losses and gains in the off-season. A new category this time and in honor of the best draft class (S74 Lobsters) we will have the Swan Song category for every player who will be aging out of the SMJHL this season. As always, this list is nearly entirely subjective, with a few exceptions in TPE calculations or stats, so please do not feel slighted or offended by the placement of your team on the list.

1. Colorado Raptors Raptors

Average TPE Rank: 2
Offense: 11
Defense: 2
Goalies: 4
Previous Rank: 2
Record: 44-21-1
Playoff Result: Champions
The Raptors’ playoff run was very impressive, and it ended with hoisting something rather heavy. But heavy too is the head that wears the crown, and can the Raptors defend their throne? Well, yeah probably. The Raptors are blessed with the successful young roster that makes the Citadelles jealous. Their one “weakness” was a recent one that came from the expansion draft where they lost their goaltender Tanner Pitts. Even still, that area still has them at 4th in the league while their offense is 11th, and their defense is second. What’s more is that their team is incredibly well balanced between draft classes, meaning they do not have too many departing after the coming season or in the last season. Shadow Fenix will likely be continuing their fantastic play alongside Leonard Wood and Oranj Kohne. The recent call-ups of some key Raptors have left some openings on key lines for some of the younger Raptors. The big questions will be who will step up and can they get the same kind of chemistry that saw the Raptors lift the cup? The answer will be if they can get enough scoring to keep up with other top teams. Their offensive capabilities were very much taken down a peg.
Players to Watch: Herman Ståhl: Goalie who will be now thrust into the limelight. Pinli Switchbang, Andrade La Sombre.
Players Lost: Jussi Mutou, Xavier Beausoleil, Brooklyn Physt, and Valerija Serapin
Active Players Gained: Baron Samedi, Smirnowv Light III, Zhen Serkr, and Raw Cheese McPickle
Swan Song: Leonard Wood, Napoleon Dinklage, Shadow Fenix, and Oranje Kohne

2. Quebec City Citadelles

Average TPE Rank: 1
Offense: 1
Defense: 1
Goalies: 7
Previous Rank: 1
Record Last Season: 51-12-3
Playoff Result: Round 3 Loss to Colorado
The Pressure is on with the Owls to finally capitalize on their immensely talented core before they graduate to the SHL. They have dominated the league two years in a row, but have no cups in those years to show for it. Thanks to their abundance of defenders, they ended up not being too affected in their signature stalwart blue liners despite 2 being taken in the expansion draft. The Owls will still have the highest rated defense in the league as well as Song Ju-Gong who has been fantastic in net. With the Solbergs on offense alongside Desjardins, the Owls will not be in any hot water for scoring most likely as well. Having all of these tools along with the mental weight of not even making a final in recent years despite being the near consensus number one team in the league, we will see if the Citadelles can finally get over the hump. You might be thinking "the Citadelles are clearly the best team", but in truth, I cannot in good conscious put them up there right now, until they start to prove it again. However, the judgment of their success is completely reliant in the performance of the team in the playoffs. With being the highest rated team in defense, offense and 7th in goalies, this roster SHOULD be another regular season champion and will likely be the favorites in the playoffs again. But can they do anything once they get to the dance?
Other Players to Watch: Anna Skovgaard and Song Ju-Gong
Players Lost: Ryland Murphy and Lukas Konecny
Active Players Gained: Nor Ge
Swan Songs: Frøya Solberg, Sonja Solberg, Bog Damsel, Abdi Smokes, Juan Tymer, Leo Roze, Johnny Patey V2, and Céleste Desjardins

3. Regina Elk Elk

Average TPE Rank: 4
Offense: 4
Defense: 9
Goalies: 3
Previous Rank: 6
Record: 35-24-7
Playoff Result: Round 1 loss to the Battleborn
I did not expect the Elk to be this high on the list, but here we are. The Elk’s rebuild is still not near completion, but their investment in an abundance of S75 players has come home to roost. With the heavy losses in the S73 draft class, the Elk will look to build on their roster around the newest draft classes. The Elk are still looking to plug the gaps in their roster, mainly in goalscoring. With a few big names leaving at the end of this season, the Elk will need to go shopping again in the draft, but the current haul from this most recent entry is not bad at all. It ended up being a lot of known quantities as well as a few chances taken. We will see if this can make the Elk more competitive in the playoffs this year or not. The Elk boast a great offensive team in terms of TPE with 4 and have the third highest rated goalies. Questions remain on their defensive end, but youth means that there is room for improvement, making the Elk a rounded team, on their way to well-rounded.
Players to Watch: Henri Losanov, Mary Hollywood, and Inge Baardsen
Players Lost: Guy Incognito, Mikkel Enevoldsen, Nico Nurminen, Red Panda, Jonas Salat, Mac Turner, Future Considerations, and Simon Wymann
Active Players Gained: Crazy Tomato II, Red Panda jr, Thomas Harley, and Sam Quintillo
Swan Songs: Troy McClure IIII, Masataka Ninomiya, and Bartholomew Chungus Gingersnap III

4. Carolina Kraken Kraken

Average TPE Rank: 3
Offense: 5
Defense: 4
Goalies: 5
Previous Rank: 9
Record: 29-31-6
Last Ten Games: 5-5
Playoff Result: Round 2 loss to the Raptors
The Carolina Kraken went into the draft with a bevy of picks and used a lot of trades to ensure they got what they wanted. However, this team has struggled in the playoffs in recent times and has now had some minor coaching changes (they were not fired, quite the opposite: see Ottawa for details). This team’s big question is if they can replace their best player from last season in Betzee Nickelback. With several players going up with her, the Kraken top line is going to look much different this year than last. The Kraken are still rated in the top 5 TPE in all three roles, which has made them look extremely balanced. How they will go after teams to win games is a whole other question. Last season, their big idea seemed to be a full frontal assault with a “do or die” mindset when it came to goals. This saw them only have a goal differential of +1 during the regular season, giving up the most goals by a top ten team. With a maturing defense and goalie, what will they employ this year?
Players to Watch: Olīvija Agate, Ongo Gablogian and Max Belcher
Players Lost: Noah Smith, Cob O’Corn, Betzee Nickelback, Rence Sykut, and Carl Stutz
Active Players Gained: LiMu Emu and Swedish Chef
Swan Songs: Roger Murdock, Rodrigo Banes, Walter Melon, and Denebor Milasch

5. Maine Timber Timber

Average TPE Rank: 6
Offense: 3
Defense: 8
Goalies: 11
Previous Rank: 3
Record: 45-17-4
Last Ten Games: 7-2-1
Playoff Result: Round 3 Loss to the Berserkers
Maine is continuing to level up, closer to the cup winning teams that they have had in previous seasons. Their investment into the Lavoies has really paid off as the two are now among the best players in the J, very soon into their J careers. Maine was able to make a great run last year in the playoffs, but fell short to the red hot Berserkers in a thrilling 7-game series. Though they lost quite a few players in the offseason, their offensive threats were largely untouched, meaning they can run back most of their lineup that was able to get 294 goals last season. Their main weaknesses lie in their defensive capabilities, which other teams may be able to exploit. That being said, Maine has made a killing the past few seasons on being discounted as not as threatening as they once were and will likely be just as dangerous as ever, even if they are not as well rounded as the other teams on this list.
Players to Watch: Mia Lavoie, Eduoard Lavoie, and Jean-Jacques François Jacques-Jean
Players Lost: Benji Hockiwi, Daquavion Davis II, Jeff Goldblum, Jordan Thompson, and Wain Gretski
Active Players Gained: Doug Weight, May O’Nayse, Kobe frobe, Jacppo Nummilavin, and Boofa Benson
Swan Songs: Teal’c, Gewmba Stolemamoney, Nick Kodiak, Dwayne Swanson, and Ace Guilded

6. Anchorage Armada Armada

Average TPE Rank: 5
Offense: 7
Defense: 7
Goalies: 6
Previous Rank: 8
Record: 35-29-2
Playoff Result: Round1 loss to the Kraken.
The Armada intrigues me more than anything else. This is a team that has that jack of all trades quality that makes them very hard to read. In the past, the Armada has relied on heavy defensive prowess and great goaltending. But just last season, that all went out the window for a high offense strategy that saw them score 294 goals, but give up 250. With a huge number of losses in the offseason that includes many of their top scorers and half of their dynamic goalie duo, the Armada will need to put their fleet in the hands of Deep Thought who is coming off of a fantastic year as well as hoping for a resurgence of Stun Gun in net. After a few disappointing playoff appearances, the Armada will be wondering what more they can do in the season to improve. A lot of that may come to some of their exciting new rookies. However, the most pressing issue for the Armada is filling the new hole at their general manager position. Will they experience any early growing pains from the new hire or will they hit the ground running?
Players to Watch: Jesus Murphy, Muon Collider, and Sebastien Levesque
Players Lost: Bongo, Jean-Francois Bokassa, Ubba Lodbrok, and Meo Vanbiesbrouck
Active Players Gained: Adam Joy, Jamario Moon, Sawyer Keenin, and Jefferson Steelflex
Swan Songs: Lucki Blackwood, Stun Gun, Deep Thought, and Benny Hanna

7. Newfoundland Berserkers

Average TPE Rank: 9
Offense: 6
Defense: 5
Goalies: 13
Previous Rank: 6
Record: 37-27-2
Playoff Result: Loss in the Finals to the Raptors
The berserkers went rage mode at the end of the regular season, winning an insane amount of games in a row and coming in hot to the playoffs. This was almost snuffed out by the Falcons in round two in a 7-game series, but Newfoundland would move on to win another 7-game series against the Timber. With a loss in the finals, the Berserkers have a lot of positives to build on from last season along with not a lot of losses in the offseason. Instead, they got to add some solid players including Atlason, who has a pedigree of success in the SMJHL. With this new talent, we could be seeing the resurgence of one of the scariest dynasties to ever exist in the SMJHL.
Players to Watch: Slowpoke, Eric Vanderberg Jr, and Launchpad McQuack
Players Lost: Ben Harrison, Entropy Sanchez, Sad Ketchup, and Joe Degen
Active Players Gained: Nicholas Scalice and Ólafur Atlason
Swan Songs: Pierre Mailloux, Mac Griddle, sabage cabage, and Cracker Pizza

8. Yukon Malamutes

Total TPE Rank: 7
Average TPE Rank: 5
Offense: 2
Defense: 13
Goalies: 8
Previous Rank: 7
Record: 36-26-4
Playoff Result: Round 2 Loss to Maine
The Malamutes are a team that was gutted by age-outs, the expansion and even an early call-up. It will be very interesting to see how the team bounces back from losing 7 players in the offseason. One big change will be seeing how Slava-Ukraini Heroyam-Slava reacts to being placed on line one alongside the fourth-year players in Tentaclés and Hardison-Laurent. Langston Hardison-Laurent had a weird season where he decided to just try and get all his points via assists, rather than goals. His endeavor still saw him lead the dogs in points, but now the Malamutes need goals again after Shevchenko aged out. Also, a big player to watch is Karter Mendenhall who will be the primary net minder for the Malamutes for the first time after Jim Wen aged out. With Playoffs guaranteed in this new format, the Malamutes will be looking to level up over the season try and see if they can get some last bits of success for their three players who will be leaving after this season, who have previously defined this era of the Dogs.
Players to Watch: Slava-Ukraini Heroyam-Slava, Karter Mendenhall, and Elly Snow-Leopard
Players Lost: Bobby Tkachuky, Florian Soderberg-Motyla, Jaxson Reaper, Jim Wen, Kristian Seppanen, Vyacheslav Shevchenko, and Newton “Lizard” Campbell
Active Players Gained: McLovin, Bouch Bomb, and Big Papi
Swan Songs: Kaarlo Koivunen, Squidwardo Tentaclés, and Langston Hardison-Laurent

9. Nevada Battleborn

Average TPE Rank: 10
Offense: 9
Defense: 6
Goalies: 12
Previous Rank: 10
Record: 24-42-0
Playoff Result: Round 2 Loss to the Citadelles
The Battleborn made a surprise trade for the first overall pick in this year’s draft, likely ruining everyone’s mock drafts. However, the Battleborn are coming off a season where they ended up overachieving in playoffs. With some top tier young talent on their roster after a successful draft, this team could very well climb very high this season as it progresses. Additionally, with only one player to age out at the end of the season, it is likely that the Battleborn can continue to build in the coming season. For the Battleborn, a solid playoff run will likely be a satisfactory goal while the new core continues to improve. Losing their star goal tender will be hard, but they should be able to bounce back with their pipeline.
Players to Watch: Literally Wizard, Jim Wieners, and Jeyeff Effo
Players Lost: Cal Juice, Florian Hascek, and Sergei Ivanov
Active Players Gained: Yuri Boyka III, Jeyeff Effo, and Gwendolyn Telenn
Swan Songs: Just Perfection

10. Detroit Falcons Falcons

Average TPE Rank: 11
Offense: 14
Defense: 3
Goalies: 10
Previous Rank: 4
Record: 40-22-4
Playoff Result: Round 2 Loss to the Berserkers
The Falcons were among the busiest in the draft this year as they are finally in a rebuild. This rebuild was of course forced on them by the insane number of players they had to see leave in the offseason as their push for a title defense was unsuccessful. Additional callups affected the roster as well as the Falcons new offense is now very lopsided to the stellar defense still on the roster. I anticipate the Falcons going up in the power rankings over the course of this season as their young players get more experience. If the Falcons can survive the early season, they can perhaps still get a favorable early matchup in the playoffs and maybe go on a run again. For now, however, I am forced to put them down here for preseason. FOR NOW.
Players to Watch: Teemu Salami, and Kal Akar Kekkonen
Players Lost: Æric Calland, Dunkler Sowerwine, Emil Karlsson, Kenny Omega, Prince Marius, Marek Carda and Luma Lee
Active Players Gained: Smitty Werbenjaegermanjensen, Rock Solid, Roquefort Cotswald, Max Kielinen, Theo Kane, Simon Science and Chairy Styles
Swan Songs: Jimothee Penjiman, Simo Jääskeläinen, Stormlord Imotekh, and Will Tomlander

11. The Great Falls Grizzlies

Average TPE Rank: 12
Offense: 10
Defense: 11
Goalies: 14
Previous Rank: Not Ranked (no Playoffs)
Record: 35-29-2
Playoff Result: How many times do you want me to rub it in their face?
The Grizzlies were the tragic story last season and the final victim of the 14-team playoff system. Thankfully, they will did not have a lot they needed to do to build this team up in the offseason. Their losses in the expansion draft were minimal and there only a few age outs. With that, the Grizzlies were able to shore up their backends with more defenders and a new goalie. The Grizzlies are still growing, but they seems to be coming out of hibernation a bit. As a team that was top half of the league last season, but did not make playoffs, this bear is likely to be hungry.
Players to Watch: Lee Harrison and Niclas Sundqvist
Players Lost: Brandon Strongstick, Jani Matty, David Doughtty
Active Players Gained: Argenti Gorilla, Elvar Gil-Galad, AT-AT Wølker, and Marián Hanák
Swan Songs: Gordon-William Gibbles, Icee Richardson, John Peanut, and Poiklm

12. Vancouver Whalers Whalers

Average TPE Rank: 7
Offense: 6
Defense: 12
Goalies: 1
Previous Rank: 11
Record: 16-45-5
Playoff Result: Round 1 loss to the Falcons
The big question for the Whalers will be “exactly how much can we put on Masked Stanger’s back?” Their offense should continue to hum along fine even with the significant loss in Lily Jin Morrow, but with a goalie who might find themselves facing an insane amount of shots per night and no current backup rostered, the third year netminder will be facing a monumental task. Vancouver had the second worst record in the J last year but with a maturing new core, particularly in Stanger and NoNo Jo, the Whalers could surprise some teams this year. Still, it is hard to really calculate how much growth the 13th place team in the league could have in the offseason when the player lost list was still so extensive. They have the TPE to be great, it is just a matter of how well they can mesh together.
Players to Watch: Masked Stanger, NoNo Jo, and Niclas Wastlund
Players Lost: Ivan Scochnikov Jr, Joulu Kuusi, Lily Jin Morrow, Nick Larsson
Active Players Gained: David Vent, and Trevor Lopez
Swan Songs: GM’s Son, and Erno Joonas

13. Ottawa Highlanders

Average TPE Rank: 13
Offense: 13
Defense: 10
Goalies: 1
Previous Rank: Not Ranked (Expansion Team)
Record: 0-0-0
Playoff Result: Got to Exist
Junior Hockey is finally in Canada’s capital as the brand-new team starts operations this year. With a fantastic management group from Carolina known to produce new GM talent, the sky could very well be the limit for the Highlanders. It’s interesting that the two expansion teams took similar approaches to the drafts. In the expansion, the Highlanders first chose Demir Bellona, who is apparently addicted to being chosen first overall, and continued to work on having a strong defense along with the recent cup winning goalie in Tanner Pitts. They then traded down in the Entry Draft, snagging lauded regen Hockey Player. With so many high TPE players, it will be interesting to see how quickly they gel together and if that can result in early success for the franchise and maybe even a deep playoff run. The roster is still not complete, but the GM’s plans do not call for an absurd early push. Look for them to be building heavily still this season, with a focus on building a team culture as well as scouting top end talent.
Players to Watch: Demir Bellona, and Florian Hascek
Players Lost: No
Active Players Gained: Literally their whole team.
Swan Songs: Tanner Pitts, Newton “Lizard” Campbell, and Cob O’Corn

14. San Diego Tidal Tidal

Average TPE Rank: 14
Offense: 16
Defense: 14
Goalies: 9
Previous Rank: Not Ranked (Expansion Team)
Record: 0-0-0
Playoff Result: Got to Exist
The Tidal are pretty close to the Highlanders in this first season. Both took some top end goalie talent and are doing their best to fill in their roster around them. Really the most important thing for San Diego is building a new team identity and establishing a positive locker room culture. With the new duo in charge, I have very little doubt that that will come to pass in short order. With that, the Tidal will look to the waiver wire and the next draft to see how they can build their team up even more. With some great players and a lot of draft picks, the Tidal are not in the least bit too concerned with a need to set the league on fire, more that they make sure their first season is as organizationally beneficial as possible.
Players to Watch: Journey Man and Meo Vanbiesbrouck
Players Lost: No
Active Players Gained: Everyone that’s now on their roster.
Swan Songs: Future Considerations, Sergey Ivanov, Brandon Gilleyes, and Meo Vanbiesbrouck

15. St. Louis Scarecrows

Average TPE Rank: 15
Offense: 12
Defense: 16
Goalies: 15
Previous Rank: 12
Record: 15-50-1
Last Ten Games: 2-8
Playoff Result: Round 1 loss to the Timber
Now, there are a few bright spots for this team that had a rough S75. One is the continued improvement of their offense with players like Scar Bealey, Wyatt King, James Madison and Alexa Johansen who played great for the Crows last year. Another is that the draft addressed some of the major concerns of this team from the past with a high concentration in new defenders and a new goalie. While the improvement won’t be immediate, the investment in these categories could let the Scarecrows have a more respectable season than they did last time out. With playoffs guaranteed, this roster will need to work together to build a strong, cohesive machine if they want to make it out of the first round.
Players to Watch: Supreme Dalek, Jack Booth, James Madison and Alexa Johansen
Players Lost: Axel Hamalainen, and joe biggs
Active Players Gained: Artem Zub, Killa Kam, and Evil Kyle Murray
Swan Songs: Richard Thomson, Bobby Bob, and Average Dude

16. Kelowna Knights Knights

Average TPE Rank: 16
Offense: 15
Defense: 15
Goalies: 16
Previous Rank: Not Ranked (no Playoffs)
Record: 20-43-3
Playoff Result: See above.
The Knights are in a full revamp mode and had a very successful entry draft. Sure they lost some great players, but the arrival of fresh recruits to this franchise should help them in the seasons down the line. They have potential stars in the making on all roles, including goalie with Doom Guy. With an exceptionally young offense with the oldest actives being from S76, the Knights will be patrolling for new recruits to help with their aging (and not in a good way) defense and help their rookie goaltender. If the Knights play their cards right, they could be a serious threat in S77 and beyond, if nothing else than because of the pure firepower of their forwards.
Players to Watch: Blant Chorski, and Jennifer Huh
Players Lost: Daniel Durkburg, Graham Schwartz, James MacAvoy, Five-Hole Sieve, and Klims Jevsejevs.
Active Players Gained: Emeric Gagner, Julian Darkshanks, Doom Guy, Pohler Beargeron, and Cyrus The Virus
Swan Songs: Dako Nanokov, and Paul Bondage

Shoutout ec06aaj since I used the article https://simulationhockey.com/showthread.php?tid=136003 to help figure out what shape teams will be in alongside the Player Analyzer to compile the TPE amounts. So thank you to whoever runs that as well. (All I know is that I got it from James)

As always feel free to debating (respectfully) in the comments. Wishing you all the best in S76.

Until next time, dear readers! (I will point out, the future of the SMJHL Power Rankings is uncertain as I will be following Langston up to the SHL next season. Whether I continue to do this series or not, it has been a lot of fun to think on these and put them out there! Cannot believe this will already be season 4 for me.)

WC: 4005

Ultimatedestroye · 04-01-2024, 01:36 PM

I am out of a job (Amazing article man!)

***Jexter*** · 04-02-2024, 12:23 AM

04-01-2024, 01:36 PMUltimatedestroye Wrote: I am out of a job (Amazing article man!)

Thank ye

ec06aaj · 04-02-2024, 05:03 AM

assume the unit ratings were done just off tpe, because otherwise QCC at 7 for goalies is brutally harsh

Aephino · 04-02-2024, 07:29 AM

10 feels about right for DET. But I agree that we should theoretically finish the season strong, and don't count us out of another round or two in the playoffs Falcons