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S77 PT #3: Humppaa Suomesta Due: Sunday, June 30th @ 11:59 PM PST
#91

Written Option 2: Slava Ukraini Heroyam Slava was born in Ukraine and has a lot of patriotism for his home land and culture but for the SHL IIHF there was no team Ukraine as there are not a lot of Ukrainians in the SHL. So Slava Ukraini Heroyam Slava decided to join another blue and yellow team with team Sweeden. To gear up for IIHF tournaments Slava Ukraini Heroyam Slava spent time training in Sweeden and bonding with his new swedish teammates and learning about the culture. Slava Ukraini Heroyam Slava loves Sweedens sauna culture and meat balls is his favorite swedish food. Slava Ukraini Heroyam Slava is also trying to learn the swedish language. Slava Ukraini Heroyam Slava also likes exploring all of the nature in Sweeden and is a big fan of winter snow hikes and cross country skiing. Slava Ukraini also likes being by the ocean in Sweeden and is thinking of buying a summer home near the water there.

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#92

Written Option 1:
The goal is to make the rival mad and to make him want to fight me. There are multiple ways to do this. The first is send my teammates to be destroyed by an opponent and then have a chance to retaliate. So I'd send cake get obliterated by whoevers feels like hitting her and see what happens after that. We have Nathan Abel who spends half the game in the penalty box and would probably love to be demolished by an opponent. He's too much of a chicken to actually fight them though so I'd come to the rescue and fight the rival superstar. With my fighting at 20 I could jump do one punch in his face and he would spend the night in the hospital. You see, you don't need to speak the language, only hit them very hard and enjoy the fighting. People love to fight, just come see my locker room on discord to see what I'm talking about.
#93

Graphic Option 1 - Pohler Beargeron screening the goalie... It makes them mad.

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RIP Dangel. See you on the other side, brother
#94

Sim Team Head - PT Pass

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#95
(This post was last modified: 06-28-2024, 10:47 AM by spidey. Edited 1 time in total.)

Option 1:

You got to hand it to him, Derek Martin is one cool character. I have shoved him against the boards, grinded his face with my glove, taken hacks to his shins and hands, even said somethings to him that could have landed me in hot water if I was mic'd up for the game. Still the small Irish center has not taken the bait and will not drop his gloves despite a game long abuse session.

After going through an entire game of abuse and knowing we would be playing the LA Panthers again in a week's time, I knew drastic measures would need to be taken.

I spent the next day researching Martin and found out his Mother was lonely and looking for love. I started chatting with her and invited her to America to come watch her son play in San Francisco, I would take care of everything the flight and she could stay with me so we could have sometime to get to know one another. "Eyebrows, eyebrows."

The next time we played I worked over Martin once again throughout the first. He laughed it off and told me there was no way he would waste a minute working over a "b level player."

I told him that's funny becuase his Mom did last night. Than the jumbotron kicked on with a video montage of me pounding his mother in multiple ways and positions. I than pointed her out to him in the box seats and told him to wave to his Mommy and they can both start calling me Daddy.

From that moment on anytime I stepped onto the ice so did Martin and he was ready to fight. He got a few good licks in but I think I won the war. Can't wait to see him again at the Family reunion in August.

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#96

Written Option 1
I think the best way to get the other team's star player off of their game would be to just outright hurt them. I don't mean injuring them, but it's pretty easy to really piss a guy off with a couple of slashes or wacks on the back of the leg. You have to do it after the whistle when everyone gets in a scrum. It doesn't matter what language you speak, everybody knows how bad it feels when you get two hands on the wrist. The other thing to do would be to force them to fight you. Everyone knows the code, you have to throw down or you're a little bitch. Never stop going after him until the entire world thinks he's a coward or he fights you. At the very least that takes him out of the game for 5 minutes. Sure it's dirty, but my teammates told me to put everything into aggression so they knew what they were doing.

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[Image: Eo2nBCt.png] Tomas Zadina
[Image: tkMQzhf.png] Brady McIntyre
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#97

Option 1: Fortunately for Jarrod Lakemore, this is an issue he has had to deal with throughout his entire career. Growing up playing hockey in Europe, Lakemore frequently had opportunities to play against opponents who did not know English as their first language. Aggression, fighting, instigating, and generally being an agitator was also something Lakemore has had plenty of experience with. Lakemore has learned that there are certain universal gestures that can pretty much rile up anyone, regardless of their country of origin. Lakemore is also an accomplished Charades player, and his gesturing and acting skills can clearly convey messages anyone can understand. Throughout his career in the SHL and SMJHL, he has had the opportunity to play with people from all over the world and he never misses an opportunity to learn how to say rude remarks in as many languages as he can. So, should even mime-ing out what he claims to have done with the opposing player's mother last night fails, he can always fallback on his ever increasing bank of foreign swears and indecent comments until he finds one that hits the spot. (187 words)

Citadelles  S68 - Jarrod Lakemore - C Stampede
#98

2.

Ace Lightning, a Russian player born in Chicago, has had the wonderful pleasure of playing in Toronto for the past five seasons. Even though he was born in Chicago, his family was very Russian and did only Russian things so being outside of that mindset has been quite a wake up call.

Toronto has this store called “The Bay”, which has fine products from local artisans in many different categories. He personally loves their little scarves and gloves painted in “The Bay” colours for those cold Ontario nights. He even sent some back home to his mother in Chicago and grandmother in mother Russia. Sometimes he goes to a coffee shop with his good friend and backup goalie George Walsh called “Tim Hortons”. He hates the coffee but loves the turkey bacon club sandwich. Walsh also taught him how to “jaywalk”, which is where you cross the road no matter where you are on the street. In Russia (and Chicago) you would be arrested for such a walk.
#99

Alright I know how to get under this "star players" skin I got this. I got a pretty simple program here. Step ONE, I start doing like a little jig in the corner. Like I go out onto the ice and I start doing a little dance he's gonna HATE that. Step TWO, I started skating like really really fast around the ice to create kind of a whirlwind effect that keeps blowing the puck off of his stick and making him get blown around by the wind that's gonna piss him off. Step THREE, I just flexing my vast amounts of SHL dollars on him. I don't know who this guy is but he's probably poor and that's no good so you know I gotta throw some money around on him. I just go park in front of his goalie and start waving exactly 17 dabloons in the goalie's face, distracting him from the puck and allowing my teammate to score an easy goal. Step FOUR, profit.

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In anticipation of this upcoming matchup and because of my recent obsession with pissing people off I've done some opposition research on this opposing star.  Even with a language barrier I think I can get into their head and make them take that instigator penalty.  The first thing I did was double check to make sure that the we're visiting their barn and it also just so happens to be this player's birthday.  Putting the two of those together I know that they'll have a large family contingent in attendance and that they always sit near the home team's offensive zone for the second period.  After not being able to get them rattled with physicality I'm going to come out of the tunnel and find ways to slam the boards right in front of their family.  Hopefully this little scare tactic clearly directed at their loved ones will get a rise and if I'm lucky I'll be able to knock the player out cold right in front of their sweet old Gam Gam.



It's funny. I thought, just not so long ago, how entertaining it would be to have a goalie with full points in aggression. Imagine a goalie just getting into a fight a game and chasing people around the ice with his stick swinging. Language barrier perhaps being the full trigger. Getting misconducts for straight up aggressive tendencies.

There was a dude, who was new to my country, and someone (no not me...just heard the story) told him the english translation for wanting a steak was "fuxxing steak". So said dude for like a year would order a fucking steak whenever he went to a restaurant. Eventually figured it out and punched the guy in the face who told him that. Got deported for having a criminal record. Worst prank ever but I digress...

So now I picture my giant Icelandic goaltender chasing some dude around the ice screaming "now you're a fucking steak..." and I will laugh for days.



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Written Option 1: 

There are many ways to communicate across languages, without languages. The choking sign for  example, with your palms towards your neck with your wrists crossed. Thumbs down and thumbs up are pretty universal as well. The pointer finger means to wait a second and the middle finger means… go have a FUn time. The pinky finger means that you’re being fancy and the ring finger means… well it means that you shoulda put a ring on it. A hip thrust gives a certain message that the person you’re looking at looks like someone you would want to be fruitful and multiply with.

NoNo Jo is going to use multiple of these signs to make their opponent mad. A thumbs down, a finger pointing at the opponent, and then a middle finger. Then NoNo Jo locates the said opponents girlfriend in the crown, makes a heart with his hands and then does a few hip thrusts in her direction. His opponent is STEAMING mad. He may not understand English, but he understood all that.

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Written Option 1: 

Chopper is a fighter there is no doubt about that. Hell, his whole build is aggression and fighting. While he has balanced out some of his other attribute it remains the same that the guy likes to tussle. Now in order to get inside someone's head its important to instigate without getting caught. Now Chopper can get uncomfortably close to the big brute at all times. Having someone up close and personal is very annoying and if you can feel their breath on you, it is even worse. Now the use of certain hand gestures are universal so Chop can use those in order to get his point across. There is also the act of putting a stinky ever so smelly mitt in the face of the brute as smell is smell no matter who you are. In the end I think Chopper can make this work and find a way to really get under this bug guy's skin.




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