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MuNk22 · 09-07-2024, 10:55 PM

First I'd like to express the extreme difficulty in getting myself to the moon to compile this scouting report. It took a considerable amount of planning and resources for this scouting mission to become a reality. I would like to thank USA Hockey and NASA on coordinating together to get me to the moon. USA Hockey had the insider information on hockey being played possibly at a high level on the moon. They utilized their power, influence, and financial resources to summon the advanced technologies of NASA to get me to a rink on the moon where young players are competing to be seen by the SHL.

My first observation of hockey on the moon were the fundamental challenges of getting regular ice hockey to work there. While the rink had oxygen piped in to this contained environment, there was no stopping the issue of the weakened gravitational pull. Skaters wore heavier skates and shot heavier pucks than what is accustomed to on Earth. This, of course, reduced the speed of the game but strengthened the players who struggled to complete the most basic hockey maneuvers. I couldn't help but wonder what that extreme training would translate to on Earth where the gravitational pull was normal and pucks didn't go flying at every shot.

The one thing I was thoroughly impressed by was the natural ability the moon had to make ice. The ice was impeccable. The natural cold temperature always created a perfect sheet of ice that was unmatched to any cooling system of Earth arenas. It was akin to the outdoor ice surfaces of hockey's past to the likes you'd see in Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, etc. The kind of old time hockey your parents told you about, before this debilitating climate crisis. It was also one of the reasons why these astronauts were trying to colonize this chunk of rock orbiting the Earth.

I took in a couple games between two boys NASA teams: NASA Blue and NASA Red. These young skaters were mostly children of fellow astronauts stationed on the moon. Therefore, they were not natural physical talents but had excellent intellect which would generally lead to a higher hockey IQ. But the hockey IQ they did obtain were from distant radio broadcasts of Hockey Night in Canada back on Earth and also by reading hockey instruction manuals. They had never seen an actual professional hockey player play the game.

Their skills were raw, unrefined examples of ice hockey as we know it. But the skills were there, a budding glimmer of talent that perhaps needed some decent coaching and perhaps a trip back to Earth to play with ideal conditions for those skills to truly flourish. While they played their own unique game of hockey among themselves with the hockey knowledge of their Earth-born parents applied as well, there is no telling how they might match up against any group of players in the SMJHL or elsewhere on Earth.

Because of the unknown in the potential of their abilities, I strongly discourage any SHL team spending valuable resources pursuing one of these moon Men currently. As I talked with a few parents, they did not see hockey as a serious pursuit for their children anyways. They'd prefer their children to keep hockey as a childhood game and focus on the pursuit of science instead.

Back on Earth, there has been a groundswell of support for potentially adding the moon to the IIHF. There's hype of a potential world tournament being held on the moon. But there are certain realities that we must face before we can even begin to think about the moon as a IIHF nation.

First, all of these moon skaters are children of NASA astronauts, employees of the United States government. Thus, they would be eligible to play for USA Hockey before anywhere else. And since the moon is not actually a nation itself, it cannot distinguish their American players as otherwise.

Next, the talent is definitely lacking in the ability to ever make a SHL team. However, that is not to say that there will never be a player with enough potential to play in the SHL. As long as USA Hockey and NASA keeps sending me to the moon, I will painstakingly mine the playing field for a diamond in the rough.

And finally, even if a truly quality player(s) is unearthed in my scouting process, it would take a considerable amount of resources to get him back to our planet and acclimated to how hockey is played here. A tedious pipeline would need to be established to get these kids down here, trained, drafted into the SMJHL, and eventually drafted to the SHL. Due to these extreme challenges, it would need to be reserved for players with true superstar potential. Otherwise, why else would we take a spot away from say a kid from Minnesota, who already has a leg up on any of these moon kids.

Good things come to those who wait. The wait for players from the moon to make it to the SHL might have to wait just a little bit longer. I didn't stay for long but I could see one thing: they were not ready. As we humans colonize the moon more, we may someday see players from the moon carve out their own place in hockey history.

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