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*Noruoficeland* · 10-01-2024, 04:55 AM

The scene begins at the analyst’s desk of a Calgary TV news station. At the desk sit two people: Deborah, a blonde sports newscaster sporting a rather ornate dress of a lovely Egyptian blue, as well as Charles, a black-haired sports newscaster clad in a well-put suit with a dark red and grey tie, symbolic of the Calgary Dragons’ logo. The two were reporting about the most recent Simulation Hockey League draft, which happened to be located in the city of Saint-Pierre in the small French territory of Saint-Pierre et Miquelon. Charles finishes a closing remark about the latest pick in the draft, the 57th overall selection made by the New Orleans Specters, Levon Djokic before Deborah pipes up, taking control of the scene.

Deborah: “Sorry to interrupt Charles, but we officially have our on-field reporter Travis Hynds with the Calgary Dragons’ 3rd round, 49th overall pick from the Carolina Kraken, Walbilly Koala! Travis, we’re headed over to you.”

The scene shifts to the on-scene little studio that the news network had managed to set up before the draft. A simple desk with a backdrop of the Dragons’ and news network’s logos, with cameras set up for a quick and easy takedown after the interviews conclude. Sitting at the desk, Travis, with curly brown hair, was preparing himself for the interview with the fellow sitting beside him. A peculiar little guy… in fact, the person sitting next to him wasn’t human at all, but was in fact… a koala! Travis looks over at the main camera to respond to Deborah.

Travis: “Thank you Deborah! That’s right, I'm here with the 49th overall selection that Calgary made just recently! So… from what I hear Walbilly, you’re a Koala that is capable of speech? So we won’t need to have a translator to conduct this interview, correct?”

The camera would pan so that both Travis and Walbilly were both in view of the camera.

Walbilly: “Yepper. No translator! But I have to say, human language uses too many words! All you need is a good growl, bellow, or belch to get most things across.”

Travis: “That’s great to hear. I’m afraid I don’t know Koala, so this interview would have been very short and difficult to conduct. It’s interesting that you can speak English. How did you come about learning the language?”

Walbilly: “It’s what was spoken around me in Wichita, Kansas. Once I realized I could talk, I spent much time studying the White Castle menu to learn the most important words.”

Travis: “I see, so you just learned how to speak english by reading the menu of White Castle? That’s most impressive! I’m surprised that was enough… is there anything you did to learn how to speak? Or was just reading enough to actually vocalise your sentences?”

Walbilly: “Hehe, sorry. By ‘most important words,’ I meant the most important words to me—like chicken. I was illegally transported- don’t worry, I have a green card now- to the USA as a little Joey, but I was well-loved by the community! They were happy to help me practice English after I gained sentience.”

Travis: “There’s a lot to unpack here! Illegally transported? Gained sentience? You seem to have been through a lot of experiences! So you say you officially got your green card and citizenship, so you are legally allowed to stay in the USA now… how did the illegal transport go? Do you remember that from your past? Feel free to tell me if that’s something too personal, we can move onto to something else if it’s needed.”

Walbilly: “Hmm. It was dark for a long time. Australia is very far from Kansas. I was pretty young, so that’s most of my memory. An exotic animal collector chose Wichita as a covert location to receive me.”

Travis: “That’s rather ominous… I’m glad you’re okay though! It sounds like it must have been rather devastating to be taken from home… But I’m assuming you didn’t have your ‘sentience’ then as you put it? How did that come about? How did you gain ‘sentience’?”

Walbilly: “I did not. I gained sentience after consuming food from the original White Castle in Wichita! An ever-growing phenomenon that is currently being studied. When I’m not practicing, playing, eating, sleeping, or defecating, I go in for testing!”

Travis: “Yes you mentioned White Castle a few times… from other interviews, you’ve stated it’s your favourite food… but this does bring up an interesting point… aren’t Koalas vegetarian? Isn’t White Castle mainly some hamburger sliders that are primarily meat-based? Did you… somehow gain a penchant for meat?”

Walbilly: “I ate eucalyptus for a while. The first time I consumed some real food, I simply couldn’t go back! They do have vegan options, like the Impossible Slider-”
He glances at the camera.
Walbilly: “™. I’m not purely carnivorous, though. I’m omnivorous. Chicken is still my favorite new food, however.”

Travis: “Well I’ll be damned! I’m surprised! Does that mean their chicken sliders are some of your favourites from White Castle? What is your favourite menu item?”

Walbilly: “There are many chicken sliders to choose from! Many many many.”
He drools a bit before quickly shaping up and wiping his mouth.
Walbilly: “But the all-time favorite is actually their chicken rings. They’re less messy. And come on! Ring-shaped food is just fun!”

Travis: “It’s funny you mention all of that because… unfortunately while it would be reheated, we actually managed to get some White Castle here in Saint-Pierre for this interview. Let’s get Walbilly his food, shall we?”

Travis waved on over to some of the crew who quickly brought a White Castle crate. Upon receiving it, he opened the case to show the audience many sliders of a wide variety, as well as some of those chicken rings that Walbilly Koala mentioned.

Travis: “Well, you can go ahead and eat up! Must be hungry after the draft after all! Though I hope you don’t mind if I try some of this as well. You see, unfortunately there are no White Castles in Calgary. Is that going to be much of an issue when you end up playing for the Dragons? Do you have any plans to deal with that situation, if it is?”

Walbilly: “Hmm… it’s my favorite place to eat, and I don’t always need it. But… but but but. I’m sure that can change if I put down some money. Like I did in Carolina. Gosh, that smells good. I will try to restrain myself, but this might not be pretty.”
He begins scarfing down some sliders. Wild, vigorous, and nearly feral. Much like how he plays on the ice, a stark contrast from the well-spoken marsupial off the ice.

Travis simply watches the horror that befall the White Castle food in front of him. Eager to try out the food that could potentially give sentience to wild feral animals. Seeing Walbilly eat about half of the full crate of 100 sliders and or sides was absolutely astonishing. At a loss for words for the next few minutes, Travis simply decided to join in, eating a slider himself… albeit at a much more reasonable pace comparatively.

Travis: “Yeah I can definitely see you enjoying these! I… think they’re alright, they’ll definitely hit the spot. Maybe it’s the fact they’re reheated that’s playing with my sense of taste. Either way. We should probably talk about your hockey career. After all, that’s what people are very excited to hear about from you! So you were drafted officially 11th overall in the Simulation Major Junior Hockey League to the Carolina Kraken. After an unfortunate season where you managed to struggle in a lot of the aspects of your game, you find yourself here, dropping to 49th overall. How do you feel about the drop? Do you feel like you have something to prove to the SHL world in the upcoming few seasons?”

Walbilly: “Unfortunately, my drop is not greatly exaggerated. Even in the J, it’s clear that this is the real deal. Nothing like local hockey anymore. So, I certainly do feel like I have something to prove! I don’t want to slack off at all! The occasional food coma might come around, but I don’t want those to inhibit me.”

Travis: “Well, I’m sure that this… while it hurts the ego a little bit, could very well be a great wake up call for you. You have lots to prove, lots to improve on and that’s something that you’re very likely to be working towards in Calgary. Those post-draft training camps aren’t easy after all! What do you think you most need to work on for your game so far? Do you have anything in mind? Anything your coaches told you to look out for?”

Walbilly: “I could stand to improve my agility. If I push myself just a little bit more, I think I could hit a new record for how fast I traverse the ice. Ooh! And I can always improve my signature puck stealing!”

Travis: “Of course! A few players did mention that they felt that your skating seemed a little sluggish, especially for games that were right after dinner time. With the White Castle you built right around the corner in Carolina, that could explain why. Have you considered using White Castle as a reward for a good game like the Québec City Citadelles uses Denny’s to reward shutouts? It might help motivate you to do better!”

Walbilly: “Hehe… the tum tum wants what it wants, before a game or not. Though… Treating it like a reward would incentivize good performance! That’s a pretty good idea! Thank you, Travis! Have another slider!”

Travis: “Sure, I’ll take another. And yeah, well I know most team usually prepare lunches and all on game days to help mitigate things like this. Maybe partaking in them would help out with the situation as well. But speaking about Carolina, how has your time being a part of the team been so far? Do you have any teammates you enjoy spending time with? Do you feel comfortable in the environment?”

Walbilly: “They’re slowly growing used to a talking koala. There’s always that awkward period of being freaked out, but I don’t mind. That’s been a large barrier in getting to know them. I hope I’ll soon learn about them all more deeply.”

Travis: “Unfortunate to hear that there’s a little bit of a barrier in Carolina, but I’m sure that if you take some time to talk to the gang they’ll open up without issue! Still on the point of Carolina, the team had a rather disappointing season with the team not gelling together all that well. It’ll also be rather difficult to remedy that with Jamie Fraser and Max Belcher leaving due to SHL graduation. Do you think you can change that in the next few seasons, however? Do you think you or any of your teammates take a role in improving this team?”

Walbilly: “I hope to be a frontrunner as soon as possible. I firmly believe Swedish Chef could lead us to future victories. Johnny Fox and Leighton Oligny have incredible skills! If they keep up their training, they could also be at the forefront of Carolina. Kenneth Lind and Chuck Stewart seem like they’ll be the future of our defense. I’d love to list more, but as I mentioned before, I don’t know all of them that personally.”

Travis: “You certainly seem to know enough of your team to know who can make an impact! It’s great to see that you want to put yourself at the forefront of the team, knowing that you can and will improve and want to become a leader that way. Speaking of leadership, you actually met Calgary Dragons’ captain Frøya Solberg earlier right before this interview. Did she have any words for you?”

Walbilly: “Since we were stressed on time, we didn’t chat too much. She said she had to talk to the pick after myself. But but but she did give me some words of encouragement! She told me not to let the drop affect me too hard- that Calgary saw I had potential if I put more effort in. She said, ‘It’s not the position you were drafted that matters; it’s what you do after.’ I appreciate it. It was nice to be believed in. You know, after dropping so much in the draft?”

Travis: “That’s great to hear! It sounds like she’s a captain who sticks out for her team. I’m sure lots of Calgary fans would tell you she’s most definitely not the only one to look out for though! Her sister Sonja’s passion for the game will shock you. Always being the first one at practice. Jaden Tanner putting their body on the line to make block after block so that their goalie doesn’t need to make as many saves is a stellar piece on the blue line and incoming rookies Anna Skovgaard fresh off a cup win as well as Jennifer Huh, James Howlett and Anastasia Söderström are also forces to be reckoned with. How do you feel about potentially getting the chance to play with these young, up and coming SHL players who did a lot better than anticipated last season?”

Walbilly: “Thrilled! Keeping a close eye on them serves as inspiration for me. We all have different roles, but I still see it as a way to test my mettle consistently. Seeing their progress will facilitate mine. I heard that word and figure of speech on TV.”

Travis: “Seems like a very nice group to join yeah! I’m sure you can learn something from each of them. So for those fans in Calgary who don’t follow the prospects as much or don’t know too much about your game, what can fans expect from you as a player? What should Calgary be excited to see from you?”

Walbilly: “My biggest desire is to take pucks, games, and names. That’s also ™. I want to be an absolute menace in the rink, swiping away the puck and shooting or sliding it off to my team. I suppose the technical term for it would be a counter attacking forward or an aggressive forchecker. But I don’t see myself as some lone hero. Mainly, I want to help my team in the best way my small stature can provide.”

Travis: “Well there you have it folks in Calgary. Expect someone who can take possession of the puck and then offer a quick pass to start the counter attack or use their speed to start the counter attack on their own! I’m sure Deborah and Charles have some highlight clips of Walbilly Koala that they can show the fans after the interview. Speaking of finishing up the interview and the fans. I leave you with our last question here. Is there anything you’d like to say to the fans in Calgary watching right now?”

Walbilly: “Dragons come in all shapes and sizes! I may be small, but I plan to contribute to Calgary’s scorching offensive like a dragon's breath! Going from one mythical creature (a Kraken) to another surely bodes well!”

Travis: “Well said! I’m sure the fans in Calgary will eat that up. Unfortunately that’s all the time we have for right now as we’ll soon be talking with other Dragons’ prospects. Thank you very much for your time Walbilly, we hope to see you in the SHL soon. Back to you guys at the analyst desk!”

The scene lingers on the studio scene over in Saint-Pierre for just a little longer before cutting back to the main analyst desk where Deborah and Charles once again pick up their casting of the Simulation Hockey League draft. What wouldn’t be captured offscreen however, is Walbilly finishing up the rest of the White Castle crate and promptly falling asleep from a food coma soon after. Old habits die hard, it seems.

***luke*** · 10-01-2024, 08:23 PM

congrats on the getting drafted to calgary!

***boom*** · 10-01-2024, 10:33 PM

Great work! Happy to have you on board!

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