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The Blizzard Buzz: A profile of Alexa Johansen
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AraSMJHL HO Sentient Government Copper
Corwritten by @Gyro_Hero and @Ara
Matthias grabs the mic and leans in close, excitedly holding his hands up in excitement! “Welcome back everybody to Blizzard Buzz episode 2! The show where Roisin and I talk about things, and only occasionally suffer the occasional in-character continuity error!” He waves at the fourth wall, just to acknowledge it’s still there, for now, before he turns to his co-host “Roisin, you’ve been dying for this new topic, what have we got on the chopping block, today?” “Well Matthias! We’re going to be covering one of our illustrious captains today, specifically Alexa Johnson!” Roisin said, chuckling as she snatched the mic from her cohost. “Why did we only invest in one mic, again?” He wonders under his breath, before considering the possibility that he could just steal one from the QCC media team - Ramen would never rat him out… “Yes! Today we are doing a full career overview of Alexa Johansen, one of the most illustrious new gens of the last few drafts! Excepting ourselves, of course. He says with a cheeky smile, offering a fist bump to Roisin! “Naturally…..though don’t tell that to a certain someone from the Monarchs.” Roisin smirked, returning the fist bump as she added, “Well, since you know our captain better, why don’t you start Matthias?” “Alrighty! Now, I first started my rookie career with Alexa and the Scarecrows (cool band name, by the way,) back in season 77 - and wow, it really hasn’t been much time at all, has it - I’m only one draft class ahead of you!” He takes a moment and looks a little stunned, before shaking his head, and getting back to it. “Right! Back in the far-gone days of season 75, Alexa Johansen stumbled into the league - drafted straight into the Scarecrows as second overall in the first round! She stood alongside now-venerated Scarecrows like Scar Bealey, Nathan Abel, and Jack Booth, a personal hero of mine. Alexa’s career got off to a rough start on the ice - it isn’t always glorious when you’re helping rebuild a team, especially as a rookie! But with 35 points overall, she was doing everything she could to help out in those early days. A -61 is a tough cross to bear, I know my worst season never even came close to that, and I consider that to be one of the biggest marks of success from her time with the Crows. With 78 hits and fifteen shot blocks, she certainly made waves as an aggressive forward, and she even locked away at least one game winning goal per season. I think in those early days, you had someone who you could depend on in the forward line, even if, as a rookie, there was only so much she could do. But damn did she hit the ground running in season 76 - but, did you have anything you wanted to add, before I jump to her next season, Roisin?” He asks, passing the mic over to you, and grinning. “Well I haven’t had much time to get to know her personally, but from what I’ve heard from you and what I’ve read, she’s been quite reliable both during her rookie career and in her past few seasons with Edmonton. Putting aside her stats, she has been a pillar around which her teammates in St. Louis were able to rally around during some very difficult seasons. Even in spite of that rough time, she’s never quit excelling and I’d say it’s definitely paid off for her.” Roisin chuckled, passing the mic back to Matthias. “Well, I’m not at the point where I can give any personal experiences yet, but when she came back from that summer’s post-season, Alexa was like a bat out of hell - more or less doubling her assists, her goals, and cutting her +/- by a solid 40% - she and her line were on an absolute tear compared to what had come and gone before, and of course, this is when you see the other secret weapon of the team start to come online, my boy Louis Belanger. What an absolute whopper of a duo these two were for their team, and believe you me, the GMs could see it plain as day - what with Alexa’s ice time shooting up a solid 100 extra minutes over the last season - especially for a winger, that amount of hustle is really saying something. And hilariously, the hits just kept right on coming for the young captain, scoring 117 hits in season 76. I’m a full-blown Dman, Roisin, last season I picked up 75. Jack Booth is one of the greatest defensive players that the J has ever seen, and last season, he picked up 88. Cade de Vries is one of the most imposing, technical, talented walls that the Nevada Battleborn has ever constructed, and he capped his final season with a mind-melting 102 hits. I mean - just - God.” He says, taking a long sip of tea “It really makes you wonder if those numbers we fiddle with mean anything at all, eh?” “Honestly, Matthias? I think we both know they really don’t mean a thing when you’re talking about a player like our Cap’n.” Roisin laughed, sipping some of her coffee. He nudges her with his elbow, and laughs, taking another sip of his as well! “And then, in Season 77, I joined the roster - second overall, just like Alexa!” He smiles, and looks over at Roisin “It’s kind of funny, we both missed first overall by that much, and neither Gwen nor Frøya will let me forget it!” He looks down at the mic, and straightens back up. “This is the first season I had with Alexa as my captain, with Popol serving as assistant captain, as well as the scout I credit most with fighting for my entrance to the team. I can’t imagine having gone to any other team, and a large part of that was Alexa’s influence in the locker room, as well as her role in the team more generally. This was the season she shifted from a left winger to a centerman, and what a spectacular shift it was - she took up more of a role in tactics, helping new players with stronger build selections, and encouraging growth from everyone insofar as TPE was concerned - A tradition of hers was to offer to do media with every rookie the team took on, one that I’m thinking of continuing doing, myself! Her overall points jumped from 58 to 66, due to a whopping 50% increase in goals scored as she shifted into her role in Gretzsky’s Office. Her shot percentage grew ever higher as well, jumping from 11.8% up to 15.5,% one of the highest for a first-time centerman, especially on a rebuilding team. Also of note, her faceoffs that season were just absolutely incredible, winning 380 of them, and taking a stat of 52.1% faceoff wins throughout the season - that -38 from last season shrinking even further to only -15.” He pauses, looking away from the stats for a moment, and back towards Roisin. He grins “This is also the year of that stunning upset against Nevada, where her tactics suggestions were instrumental in helping Jimmy lock down the requisite lines, and smother one of the strongest offense lines in the league at the time - with the exception of the absolute monster that Maine was fronting at the time. But still - with a solid grasp of what could make things better, and a real drive to make things improve, Alexa Johansen closed out season 77 with a spectacular vision for her involvement with the Scarecrows - just as her dad started sniffing around the Co-GM position, too! And wouldn’t you know it, we had a particular someone coming to our attention in the very next draft!” He laughs, and passes the mic back over to Roisin, taking another long sip of tea as he does! “Well, I suppose I should give her credit where credit is due - she was the one whose performance helped inspire me to join the SHL, after all. To say nothing of the drive to beat her pushing me to do well in the league ....” Roisin laughed, taking the mic as she smirked, “It may be a bit of a long shot now, but…..she may not end up holding that position for long if I have anything to say about it.” He leans over to Roisin’s side of the booth, speaking into the mic she stole! “Is that so, Roi? You’ve got plans to unseat the princess of the Js? That’s quite ambitious for someone just out of her rookie year, what’s your plan?” He leans back, and throws his feet up on the desk, teasingly raising his pinkie on his now-empty tea, and taking a long, pretended sip. “Well for starters, it’s to get a little payback against St. Louis for the losses that little princess inflicted on us during Season 78. Then building on that, my hope is that if I get the chance, to CO-gm for the Tidal and shut her down in the Js in the coming seasons.” Roisin said, chuckling as she took a sip from her nearly empty coffee, “Then as fer Edmonton, we’ll see…..” “Would you believe me if I told you that I had ambitions of making Co as a rookie, too?” He laughs, and squeezes closer to use the mic again “For your sake, I hope you aren’t up against anyone like a Johansen when you do - we’ve got some time before we get to the last and most recent season, how about you tell us a bit about the situation in the San Diego Tidal? Oh - and don’t go giving our GMs all the credit for tearing your team to ribbons during Season 78-” He says with a wink, as he cracks his knuckles and leans back in his chair “We all enjoyed that.” “Well, for as much fun as it would be to critique my team for our….difficult season, I think we both know that it was a rebuilding year for us. So a lot of struggle on our end was to be expected. That being said, you can count on us having a much better season in S79.” Roisin laughed, playfully punching Matthias’s arm, “Now, are you going to keep cracking wise or are we going to keep bullying…I mean profiling our captain?” He looks at his shoulder, and shakes his arm “You’ve got too much strength for someone just out of her rookie season, crazy girl.” He looks over, and sits up, snatching the mic from Roisin’s side of the table, and leaning far back looking up at the ceiling, before breathing out heavily. “On to her most recent season, then, and her last in the J - Alexa’s final run in the Scarecrow’s roster has gone down as her finest year in the sport so far, and one that truly showed her potential not just as a scorer, but as a teammate. Her assists skyrocketed, jumping up 30% over her last seasons, while her scoring stayed just as consistent as it ever had - she as a result, she led her line from a -15 +/- up to an incredible +13. She also cleaned up her play, slipping down from the last season, where she spent nearly an hour in the penalty box, down to 35 minutes, the lowest PIM she’s received since her rookie season! Her shots jumped from 194 up to 279, and when you’re taking shots at that much of a high volume, her shot percentage dropping off 4% and change hardly matters. And everyone noticed - she took another hundred or so minutes in ice time, seeing incredible amounts of play, and cementing herself as the S78 Scarecrow’s single greatest on-ice asset - and I don’t think there’s anyone who would contest a claim like that. Her face-off percentages only grew stronger, her Game-winning goals grew more numerous and more pivotal - even getting knocked on her ass in the first and so far only fight of her career couldn’t keep Alexa down - eating 15 shots, almost as if she forgot what position she was supposed to be playing, and decided to just play as the Scarecrows!” He grins as he looks over the stats, and puts the microphone down, bringing his hands up behind his head, and whistling. “We’re gonna miss her, that’s for sure - but, we’ll just have to do without - and we got ourselves some wicked new talent in this latest draft, too.” He smiles over at Roisin, and gives her the thumbs-up. “Now then - maybe you wanna jump in, cover what she’s been up to in Edmonton? And who knows, maybe we can haul in the woman herself, and ask her what she’s got coming up next!” “Well, I’ve tried….but it seems she’s a tad too shy to join us…for now at least.” Roisin chuckled, giving a smirk as she looked back to Matthias, “Don’t you worry though, I’ll get her on here come hell or high water. That said, you are right in that we do have three wonderful draft picks to talk about…..Do you want to introduce them Matthias or should I?” “I could never take such an opportunity from the venerated announcer of the awards ceremony herself - flesh out our story, Roisin, show us what a great historian you’d make!” He stretches his back, and you hear a slight pop as his spine cracks, before a slight grin splits his face, and he sits up properly in his chair. “We’re all ears, Roi - let ‘er rip.” “Oi, you haven’t earned the right to call me that yet, Matty.” Roisin laughed, cracking a smile as she continued, “At any rate, first off at the 1st overall pick we have Hip Hurts, otherwise known as Juke. Now Hip had been a consistently max earning rookie throughout the season, regularly being in the top 5 of the S-79 rookie class. He even managed to unseat multiple top earners from their spots for a time. That is saying nothing of his performance on the ice nor his dethroning of the “shoe in” number one pick that the former supposedly was.” “Our second pick was this whiny, irritating little scab who beats people with hockey sticks for, frankly, no good reason, and who really just needs to calm down, Roisin, put the stick down, please I’m finally on the first line this season don’t put me out on an injury please the Scarecrows they need me think of Mister Johansen he’d be so disappointed in me…” “Oi, you had that one coming last time, Matthias. Besides, I only lightly tapped you with it.” Roisin said, chuckling as she rolled her eyes, “Now, please be serious, my friend….” He laughs, and waves happily at the radio technician as he brings in a second microphone! “- yeah? Stolen right from Evok’s goalie bag, eh? Perfect, she’s rolling in dough, she’s not gonna miss this little thing going missing - great work Joey!” He smiles, and plugs it in, and just like that, Blizzard Buzz gained its second microphone! “Now, where was I - right! The second Blizzard pickup was our very own Roisin - coming down the pipe with great motivation and solid money and jobs, as well as being very good friends with lots of our team, she was an obvious pick. I remember our war room wasn’t thinking “do we pick her up” so much as it was “how many picks can we reasonably pick up without losing her to someone else,” and having you as our second pickup was, frankly, as much risk as I and the others were really willing to accept!” He takes a long sip from his mug, and checks back with you “That said - are you going somewhere with this, Roisi? This is meant to be about Alexa, after all - what’s your angle?” “My angle? It’s simple, to see how our Captain and our recruits stack up, Matthias. After all, some of them have got to have the potential to replace her at some point, no?” Roisin said, chuckling as she took a long sip of her coffee, “Not to say she isn’t great, but rather she should expect a little competition.” “Pfft - you know her as well as I do - she does more than expect it, she welcomes it. I don’t think Alexa wants anything more in the world, actually - teammates that can chase after her, and maybe even surpass her, is something she hasn’t known very much of. Why, you want to be that person too, eh?” He lifts his tea, and pauses, before putting it back down “I fully expect her to be supportive and helpful - if one of us surpasses her in points, in shots, even in Time on Ice, I’d expect her to be thrilled for us. When we get there, anyways.” He smiles into his cup, and looks back at her - “Ah - sorry, you wanted to talk about rookies and prospects - who would you like next, then?” “Perhaps….In all honesty, I would not be lying if I said I wished to surpass her at some point…be it in ability or performance.” Roisin admitted quietly, nodding with Matthias’s assessment. “I think she’ll be proud of us if and when that happens. I hope it does too - though it’s a goal that can seem so far away sometimes - right, sorry - how about you focus on doing better than me first?” He says with a wink, brushing his hair out of his face, and looking at the cameras with a cocky grin! He leans back in his chair, bringing the new microphone with him. “The road is long, but you’re looking at someone you won’t be competing with for years - keep your eyes on things that are a little closer along, rookie!” He sits back up, and shuffles his notes back into position. “That said - I think the effort will be its own reward. People like Gwen, Ólafur, and Benjamin are counting on us and the guys coming up after us. It’s… exciting, but a little scary, too, eh? And I just want to be the very best player on the ice and in the locker room that I can be - really lock things down, and take it home as best I can. And Alexa personally played a big part in that mindset developing - I think it’s only fair that I try to bring it to others, too, including all our new arrivals.” He grins, and lifts his teacup to cheers his co-host. “Anyway - where is Alexa? Didn’t we get the teleporter rigged up properly? It was supposed to nab her on the way out the door!” “I’ve tried reaching to her, but Alexa has said she is not up to joining us for an interview at this time. She didn’t give me the full specifics, but from what she said….I’m guessing it had something to do with you….” Roisin chuckled, giving Matthias a wink as she whispered, “So Matty, care to give us the juicy details?” He laughs, and flicks her on the nose “Sure thing - Louis got himself some wild foreign flu over the post-season, and I think he might’ve given it to Alexa - I think she blames me for not warning her not to hug him until he’s gotten the all-clear from the doctor.” He laughs, and checks his phone “You know, she might be willing to answer a few messages over text message - maybe we can get a few in, what do you think?” “Ah….fair enough.” Roisin chuckled, giving a nod as she added, “Sounds fun. Well, let’s see what she has to say, shall we?” He looks down at his phone, and taps away! “Heya Alexa - the Blizzard Buzz has a few questions for you - what sort of goals do you have for yourself in your rookie season? Anything in particular - individual goals, team milestones?” … “Well, I want to win Rookie of the Year. If we can make the playoffs, that would be amazing, but getting wins and showing my value is the goal this season.” “There, see? As ambitious as ever - she’s gunning for it as hard as she possibly can!” He laughs, and slides the phone over to Roisin “Go on, I’m sure you’ve got a question for her, too, eh? Just try to keep it simple, she’s still feeling a little woozy.” “Well, I’d - yeah, pass it over -“ “Do you have any advice for us prospects? Or, if you were in our shoes, what would you do to prepare ourselves for playing for the Blizzard? - Roisin” … “Physical fitness. You can never beat physical fitness. Otherwise just have fun and keep at it, because that's the only way to keep getting better.” “Yeah, of course she’d say that. She’d better keep on top of cardio, the moment I can outrun her, it’s over.” He laughs, and types his next question in! “Looking back on your time in the Js, what’s a lesson you’ve learned that you’ve made sure to bring with you into the SHL?” … “Don't let it get you down if you're not good. You can only do what you can do, so you have to play for yourself sometimes.” He smiles down at the phone, and looks away, before sliding it back to Roisin. “Cheerful and supportive as always - that’s our captain.” “Would you expect any less of her?” Roisin giggled, taking the phone as she slid it back into her pocket. He smiles to himself, and closes his phone. “No. No, I don’t think I could.” He pauses for a moment, and then shakes his head, putting his smile back on, and giving Joey the sound guy a thumbs up! “I believe that’ll bring us up to the present, as the captain of the Edmonton Blizzard prepares to make her rookie season one to remember! Anything you’d like to add, Roisin?” “I think that’s about all on my end for now, Matthias.” He closes up his phone, and smiles to himself, folding his notes, and standing up. “I suppose we’ll just have to watch where Alexa goes from here - what she manages to make, and how she does it - that all remains to be seen - but, as much as we’d love to broadcast through the whole of it, we’ve got our own teams to get back to.” He strikes a pose, and smiles at the camera! “Until next time, this has been Matthias and Roisin with Blizzard Buzz! Tune in next time to hear about… um…” “What we talk about next time?” Roisin suggests “What we talk about next time!!” The duo say happily, as the camera pans, their logo flashes, and the broadcast ends! ![[Image: sjqfd8w.png]](https://i.imgur.com/sjqfd8w.png) ![[Image: GOyuSj0.png]](https://i.imgur.com/GOyuSj0.png)
Gyro_HeroSHL GM SHL GM
Another magnificent broadcast in the greatest show in the SHL's history, you may all thank us for our presence at any time <3
"That way - no, no, a little to the left!" "Oh, shit, not like that wait no -!!" crash!!! "Oh god Cake is gonna hit me again" :'0
HabsFanFromOntarioSHL GM S30 Cup Champion Never Going To Win A Cup
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0tmUUuqDkU
This is all I picture “The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. ... There are neither beginnings nor endings to the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.”
![[Image: HFFO.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/HFFO.gif)
cake307SMJHL GM Queen of Crows, Bringer of Freedom
Alexa's Agency would like to officially protest the implication that she would hug anyone, as well as all descriptions of her as 'cheerful'. Our client works very hard to maintain her image of a hardass whose only interest is hockey. Thank you.
 ![[Image: Oon045t.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/Oon045t.gif) ![[Image: yRQ5DtN.png]](https://i.imgur.com/yRQ5DtN.png) ![[Image: ZSWcyJU.png]](https://i.imgur.com/ZSWcyJU.png)
Gyro_HeroSHL GM SHL GM 10-14-2024, 12:50 AMcake307 Wrote: Alexa's Agency would like to officially protest the implication that she would hug anyone, as well as all descriptions of her as 'cheerful'. Our client works very hard to maintain her image of a hardass whose only interest is hockey. Thank you.You tell Alexa’s agency to come to the studio in person, we’ll compliment them so hard that it’ll make their heads spin >:0
"That way - no, no, a little to the left!" "Oh, shit, not like that wait no -!!" crash!!! "Oh god Cake is gonna hit me again" :'0
AraSMJHL HO Sentient Government Copper
10-14-2024, 01:11 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-14-2024, 01:13 AM by Ara. Edited 1 time in total.)
10-14-2024, 12:50 AMcake307 Wrote: Alexa's Agency would like to officially protest the implication that she would hug anyone, as well as all descriptions of her as 'cheerful'. Our client works very hard to maintain her image of a hardass whose only interest is hockey. Thank you. Dear representatives of Ms. Alexa Johansen, Blizzard Media thanks Ms. Johansen's agency for their concern. We have investigated your complaint and determined that our hosts did not violate any existing laws with their statements. If you or Ms. Johansen wish to discuss this matter further, please feel free to reach out to us via fax or email. Respectfully yours, Candice Moser Vice President of Communications Blizzard Media
PopolRegistered Senior Member 10-14-2024, 12:15 AMHabsFanFromOntario Wrote: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0tmUUuqDkU My friend, you made me laugh so much. So true! @HabsFanFromOntario
HabsFanFromOntarioSHL GM S30 Cup Champion Never Going To Win A Cup 10-14-2024, 08:20 AMPopol Wrote: My friend, you made me laugh so much. So true! @HabsFanFromOntario Just for you popol :D “The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. ... There are neither beginnings nor endings to the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.”
AraSMJHL HO Sentient Government Copper |
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