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spidey · Yesterday, 12:46 PM

Hello my friends, it is your friendly neighborhood talent agency reaching out to you once again to offer a little advice; you know since the big wigs in their ivory towers will not allow us to do it for you anymore. That’s right after a bit of a hiatus, as the fat cats in power tried to shut us up, the Spidey Talent Agency is here to help you get over the Christmas hump and help you get more money in the SHL for doing nothing at all but having a little faith in what I do best!

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Now we all know how I have helped the rookies SMJHL players get the most dollars for the least amount of work!
https://simulationhockey.com/showthread.php?tid=132930

I have shown you how to deal with those lazy scouts trying to bleed information from you to see if you may be a fit.
https://simulationhockey.com/showthread.php?tid=131698

I have even taken time to give you advice on how to go to negotiations when you need a new contract.
https://simulationhockey.com/showthread.php?tid=131708

EVERY SINGLE TIME I HEARD SUCCESS STORIES FROM PLAYERS!!! AND GMS HAVE COME TO ME CRYING ABOUT DISHING OUT SECRETS THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT!

Don’t believe me…? Well how about this testimonial. (We have to keep GM’s names confidential or they might get black listed)

Rookies started to ask me how many players am I drafting and refusing to come here if it is more than 2 all because of that blasted bonus STA told them about.
- R*men*men, SMJHL GM

After selecting a player in the draft, he demanded to be traded to another roster that did not draft anyone, he said he needed the free money I no longer had available.
– Se*ny, SMJHL GM

I forgot about the lessons learned from previous STA recommendations and I missed out on millions! Do not make the same mistakes I did.
– Kim Chaewon, SMJHL Center

One team tried to sign me for less than I was worth, I pumped the brakes and ran to the next best offer thanks to STA for the help!
– Journey Man, SHL Defender

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I could go on and on, but BAM, you see the help I have and can provide. Still the Head Office says no to player agents, despite the good I can do you. They just can’t handle seeing players making money and breaking the bank.

I know, I know, Spidey, you have already given us so much help, how can you possibly provide any more? What is there left to learn in your wisdom? Well here it is. I have taught so many of you how to come to the table prepared, but what happens after you have already been swindled by the crooked GMs? Where do you go, how do you make money when they try to bleed you for the minimal amount possible?

I am here today to launch the STA counter action lawsuit! A get rich quick scheme…I mean a fair redistribution of wealth to the players of the league. Have you seen some of these bank accounts around the league??? And why do the wealthy 1% have all the money while the rest struggle to afford training, struggle to keep up, and beg on the street corner for pittance?

Is it because they work harder? Is it because they do jobs? Is it because they inherited their wealth from family who are now retired? MAYBE, but is it fair? NO!

Look at these bank accounts:
Luke - $969,998,463
Carpy48 - $784,170,000
Skoldpaddor - $659,174,033
Ragnar - $554,344,142
Xjoverax - $467,550,000
HabsFanFromOntario - $355,075,000
Sve7en - $306,884,100
Spidey - $296,540,000 (Let’s just ignore this one)
CrazyMojito - $294,150,000
TheOPSquid - $284,700,000
HoltzFan10 - $280,436,000

And the list goes on and on and on!

Now I know what you are thinking, how can we possibly make this fair for everyone, how can we help the little guy get their due?

I will go to battle for you, I might not be able to be an agent because of league wide propaganda and rules, but I can be your lawyer. And by sending me a very small cool $1,000,000 to spidey, I will represent you in helping you get a piece of this travesty of difference in wealth.

If you are tired of living in the bank shadows of these giants and want to see the playing field even up. Send me $1,000,000 and I will add you to the list of users that demand equal distribution of wealth.

Don’t believe I can do it? Well let’s look at some of the other cases I have won:

Class Action Lawsuit Against Dollarama – 2.6 million paid out!
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/...-1.7406835
Westjet paying out 12.5 million over baggage fees!
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/w...-1.7385255

Each and every person made out like millionaires for doing nothing at all, but investing in me and my legal team. Now it is your turn too!

*LEGAL DISCLAIMER*

Any chance of this working is 0%, there is no lawsuit being conducted against any user in the SHL, this is just for fun, do not send me money, I am a shyster of a lawyer and an agent. If you send me money you are a fool and I am not giving it back. I once held my breath for a full minute. Don’t pet a burning dog. Don’t spit into the wind. SHL does not recognize STA (Spidey Talent Agency) as any for any form of legal advice or player agency. This is 100% a scam to get me more money.

So, send me a million dollars and I will go to bat for you and help you get a piece of this SHL pie! If you act right now I will even send you a personalized message letting you know how the case is going and how much money you can expect to see!

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all the best during this wonderful time of the year, which could be even better with a little help from you.

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By-Tor · Yesterday, 12:54 PM

Where do I sign

Credit to enigmatic, Merica, tweedledunn, and jaypc8237 for sigs

***RAmenAmen*** · Yesterday, 12:57 PM

This man was so effective that HO reworked the entire SMJHL contract system! He's a proven success!

By-Tor · Yesterday, 12:58 PM

Also pretty sure this is the guy that helped Jack Crasher fix his dust filter for a Hoover Max Extract® 60 Pressure Pro™

Credit to enigmatic, Merica, tweedledunn, and jaypc8237 for sigs

***Vandy*** · Yesterday, 12:59 PM

Hired

Troy_McClure03 · Yesterday, 06:17 PM

@Seany148 smells!

kb.m · Yesterday, 07:36 PM

Lmao

***sköldpaddor*** · Yesterday, 07:56 PM

can you get me more money though because my dad told me I can’t keep using his credit card and I only have four cars and it’s not fair :(

spidey · Yesterday, 10:44 PM

Yesterday, 07:56 PMsköldpaddor Wrote: can you get me more money though because my dad told me I can’t keep using his credit card and I only have four cars and it’s not fair :(

This is the exact problem I am talking about. Laughing

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