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*Otrebor13* · 01-19-2025, 09:58 PM

The first thing I’m going to do is look at the team staff. There’s always some ex players around who have recently retired and have played before so they would be the first round of checks. Next I would see if any agents or scouts are in the building. Same like the staff, some of these guys have already played and may be able to suit up and be able to hold it down for a period.

If all that fails and I still need extra bodies, the fans are definitely getting a look. Get these guys down on the ice and see what they can do. Hand them a stick and a puck and see if they can make a pass and shoot the puck. If they can, they can be bodies to help give the rest of us a break. With the amount of people watching the game there’s gotta be a few guys who have played and know what they’re doing. I think this should be enough to get a lineup for a single period.

DarthDaevin · 01-19-2025, 10:01 PM

Jimmysmo27 · 01-19-2025, 10:05 PM

Pt PAss

***ThePyroAlpaca*** · 01-19-2025, 10:06 PM

***Whitecap*** · 01-19-2025, 10:10 PM

Prompt 2

Well I guess I can speak a bit to LAs performance this season and the obvious dip in form from the previous few. Primarily I can just say that winning the cup twice has its price in terms not really having a prospect pool to speak of. A few seasons later and we are dealing with a bit of an aging core. That said, I think we've done a pretty good job at bringing in new talent and lowering the roster's age a little bit, hopefully extending our competitive window somewhat. A lot of the dip in in performance this season is likely due to us having to rebuild some of that chemistry again with the new players.

With some things in the works and our players adjusting to playing with each other, I have hope that we will return to form next season. We still have a solid roster and we'll be at it again soon enough! I'm still very confident in this group we have.

Wearingabear · 01-19-2025, 10:11 PM

Ubba Lodbrok, center and leading points getter for the Philadelphia Forge of the Simuation Hockey League, and former player for the Anchorage Armada of the Simulation Major Junior Hockey League, and current representative of the Finnish National Team, has been running around trying to figure out what to do. He's in a real pickle of a situation. He has to find at least 5 more players, including a goalie(!) to step on the ice. Now, chances are that at a professional hockey game there are going to be some current/former players of a high level. Now he doesn't need them to score goals, just play just ok defense. How does he do this? He has everyone send their elite prospects page, and depending on their stats there is how he builds the team. He came up with this idea all on his own and his teammates are painting the toilets and can't speak after a symphony of flatulence and bms.

*Ferda* · 01-19-2025, 10:12 PM

When Billy Herrington realized he had narrowly dodged the team’s ill-fated appetizer, he was initially just relieved to not be hunched over like the rest of his teammates. But as the clock ticked, the enormity of the situation hit: with the Inferno up 6-3 in the first game of the playoffs and just 10 minutes left, Billy was the only player left able to hit the ice. The refs gave him an hour to gather replacements, and with no time to waste, Billy sprang into action. First, he turned to the beer league team practicing on the rink next door. These players weren’t the fastest or the sharpest, but they knew the basics, and Billy figured they’d hold their own in a pinch. However, they were still a couple players short. Spotting a group of enthusiastic fans, Billy held a quick skate tryout in the hallway, managing to recruit two die-hard hockey lovers who could at least skate backward and hold a stick. To round out the squad, he called on the team’s staff. The equipment manager turned out to be a hidden gem, still rocking the instincts from his high school hockey days. Even the Zamboni driver, who hadn’t laced up in years, stepped in as an emergency defenseman. The patched-together squad hit the ice like underdogs in a sports movie. With Billy anchoring the line, they played scrappy, blocking shots, and clearing the puck. Though it wasn’t pretty, they held off the opposition for 10 grueling minutes, securing the 6-3 victory. The postgame celebration was chaotic, but Billy's leadership and quick thinking became the stuff of playoff legends.

*Ruggsy* · 01-19-2025, 10:13 PM

I would go back to where they had lunch, which is the mcdonalds of course, our team eats before every game for it very high protein at a great cost. I would then threaten to sue them all, unless they came and played hockey with us. Everyone knows that Mcdonalds workers have a very high likelihood to be hockey players due to advanced statistics. This would be the core of my new team, and I would fill in with fans from the stands that happen to be wearing my jersey because I know they have good taste. All they have to do is keep passing me the puck and I will make sure to kachow the other teams goal with my puck. I think we should have an easy enough time getting together the team in winnipeg and we should hold down the lead no problem. I doubt the other team even notices whats going on really.

skyrrhawk · 01-19-2025, 10:15 PM

written option #2

I want to discuss my own team, the Manhattan Rage. Obviously, we've been pretty bad for quite a while, and were expected to be pretty garbage again this season. I didn't look at predictions data, but I'm sure most people had us coming last in the division. But a jump from 53 points to 80 points is nothing to scoff at, and the steady progression can probably be attributed to the new core finally really coming into their prime. Since Season 77, the Rage have nearly doubled their point total and now in Season 80 have finally cracked that problematic goal differential barrier, going from -98 in S77 to now +20 in S80. It's almost like you need to both score goals and prevent them to have a successful season, and the Rage certainly pulled that off in S80. In fact, the drastic reduction in goals against can probably be counted as the most important part of why the Rage leapt from 5th in division to 3rd, and from 16th overall to 8th.

[173 words]

Symmetrik · 01-19-2025, 10:18 PM

PBE Affiliate

HillsHaveHats · 01-19-2025, 10:19 PM

Written Option 1:
Oliger Cornwall is always out in the community advocating for and just playing hockey with people out around New England. To that, he already has lots of connections with players who are up there as far as skill, at least close enough not to embarrass themselves.

He’s got a buddy downtown who played wing out in Europe, he was a great power forward back in the day for the Munich HC team. He in turn has a menagerie of ex euro league guys who emigrated to New England as a group after they retired.

Further, there’s a tendy out in the burbs who quit hockey after one concussion too many, who Oliver is sure he can convince to scrap the pads on one more time. Goalies are a different breed and it’s hard not to miss being between the pipes.

Between the different groups that Oliver knows out in the community, there’s no doubt he’ll be able to find some backups!

Australiankek · 01-19-2025, 10:21 PM

First things first, why oh why does these things happen in the playoffs of all places? Once the whole team gets food poisoning, Kevin is having an existential crisis. What should he do? Get the old geezers in the team staff? I mean 10 minutes left with a 3 goal lead, they could hold as they did have prior experience. However, most staff members are too old to even skate or play at a beer league level. So Kevin hurries to find the best players in the staff and continues to find other skaters elsewhere. The Zamboni driver fit as the goalie, now he had to find the rest of the players. Beer league players could definitely work, but the travel wouldn't be worth it. Then suddenly, a light turned on in Kevin's head, the fans. There must be some fans that has qualifying skills. So Kevin arranged a plan, he negotiated with the stadium workers to arrange fans and scout people who have hockey experience. With a team of staff members, a Zamboni driver as goalie and talented fans, the team held on, and Minnesota miraculously won.

trella · 01-19-2025, 10:25 PM

Toronto’s performance this year has been pretty insane. They were one of the better teams last season, and were a threat to come out of the east, but they made some crippling management blunders which caused them to have a roster over the cap. Going into this season, Toronto had a $10,000,000 cap fine. A $10,000,000 cap fine is so rough, thats a huge % of the cap just simply unusable. It was unsurprising to see them fall a bit in the standings this season. To be honest, it was impressive to see them make the playoffs this season at all given the massive handicap they had placed on them by the league. The playoffs this year is where its gotten even more crazy. As the 14th seed, the North Stars have made it to the conference finals after defeating the Wolfpack and the Forge in 7 games apiece

Thanks to @karey and @JSS for the sigs!

Former USA Fed Head, Carolina Kraken Co-GM, Tampa Bay Barracuda GM

.Laser · 01-19-2025, 10:25 PM

PBE Affiliate

Thanks to EAB and sulovien for the sigs!

***SchwarzNarr*** · 01-19-2025, 10:26 PM

Quite frankly, Jeremy would have nothing but disdain for the absolutely amateur players that he would be forced to share the ice with. As both a professional hockey player and what most humans refer to as a cat, Jeremy absolutely knows that he is the best player on the ice and in the league. There is no one who could play better than him, and so he would work to make sure that nobody else who joined the ice would be a detriment to the team. In fact, to make sure that the game was fair and that Jeremy would be able to win, he would find himself growing slightly hungry, ingesting the entirety of the team, and the opposing team, for the duration of the game. Now, while Jeremy would believe that he actually won the game, as he could score as many goals as he wanted to score, the reality is that the rest of the players would continue to play the game in the pocket dimension that exists inside of Jeremy, and, as long as he ate the ref too, that would go on to be the stats and score of record.

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