Legend-in-the-making and future talking house plant Christoph Klose is fully prepared to make the most of his two years in Sin City. When Klose was acquired late last season, he made bold statements decrying the team and their lecherous way of life, claiming to be the savior that they need, but not what they deserve.

After re-signing with the Kings, citing "unfinished business", Klose has been relatively quiet, until now. Just a few short hours ago, the German-born scorer revealed the first of his etiquette posters, designed to encourage his teammates to begin unsullying their pathetic lives.

The poster, innocuously titled "Jade", aims to help the drug-infested Kings roster to begin to understand how they should behave in public situations. We have obtained a copy of the poster and present it to the SHL at large, as Klose's willingness to stain his hands by mixing with the league's dregs should be commended.





"I believe that this poster is going to be very helpful for a few of the people in the locker room," Klose said in a prepared statement. "I put a conscious effort into being tactful and not using anyone's name, but let's be honest, here: the person that this poster is directed to knows who he is, right Dylan?"

GoB's Writing Thread

LMAO

Nice one Christoph

Update Thread - Player Page
Update Scale

Former players:
Ivo Willems (S9 SMJHL) (S10-28 SHL)  
Xander Green  (S33-35 SMJHL) (S36-47 SHL)
Vorian Atreides (S49-51 SMJHL) (S52-61 SHL)

So thats why Isabella Esparza-Osvaldson always has a backpack with her? It all makes sense now

How do you know if someone is straight-edge?

They'll tell you.

:ph34r:

Originally posted by grimreaper@Apr 11 2013, 11:04 AM
How do you know if someone is straight-edge?

They'll tell you.

:ph34r:

What do you mean?

GoB's Writing Thread

Lol good one Toph.