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Tracking Spreadsheet

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SMJHL S50 Game 28 - LBL @ STL

SMJHL Game 28 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: James Ronlain @Rankle
Team: St. Louis Scarecrows
Victim: N/A
Team: Lethbridge Lions
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  1:00:00
Hot po-take-to:
Ronlain showed up to the home game in St. Louis again sporting his Potato attire. He still hasn’t showered or changed. It’s getting disgusting for everyone involved. He’s been barred from his own locker room and is on the GM’s last nerve, according to reports. We reached out to Ronlain for comment and all he he had to say was “What can I say, I like my potatoes.” And boy, doesn’t that statement ring true. The looks of disgust as he took the ice from his opposition as well as the home crowd was a sight to see. He was booed every time he touched the puck. How much longer can he endure this shunning? An outcast of the league now, one thinks he should look to get rid of the Potato. Or at least take a shower. But who am I to judge?

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SMJHL S50 Game 34 - STL @ LBL

SMJHL Game 34 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: James Ronlain @Rankle
Team: St. Louis Scarecrows
Victim: N/A
Team: Lethbridge Lions
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  1:00:00
Hot po-take-to:
Ronlain has gained the nickname “Pig-pen” around the league in homage to the classic cartoon Charlie Brown. Fans and players alike swear that they can see visible stench lines emanating from his body and Potato clothing. Undeterred, Ronlain kept the Potato for another full game. At this point, he may just last the whole season with the Potato. When he gets the puck, everyone just kind of moves out of the way. You think he’d be having a better performance thus far in the season with a presumably wide open path to the net each time, but alas not even his own teammates are there for a pass or to help him out. Even his own coach is starting to give him less playing time. One things for sure through all this controversy though, the man loves his fucking Potatoes.

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