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Bilbo Guesses Things About SHLers, Part 1
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Bilbo Guesses Things About SHLers, Part 1
By: bilbo

Hey there, SHL. Most know me as the senior journalist at Biased News with Bilbo, but since that job doesn’t pay me enough and made me move to San Francisco where things aren’t cheap, sometimes I branch out.

The other day, I posted a link on a couple Discord servers asking SHLers to fill out a survey that asked them fun questions like “what do enjoy cooking?” and “how do you say “I love you” in your first language?” all with the thought in mind that these questions would help me identify these key things: how old this SHLer is, what country they’re from, and then also how well I think we’d get along in real life based off JUST the answers to these questions, real friendship cast aside in this case.

I got more responses than I was expecting, so thank you all for participating in the Bilbo Needs Season Equipment Fund. I will be posting these “articles” in parts so they’re not so long, and feel free to fill out the survey still if you want to be included. I don’t know when I’ll be posting them all because I have a life (#doubt), but I sure appreciate you in advance.

First, some super scientific reasons behind why these specific questions were asked:

SHL username?
This one is pretty self-explanatory. I want to be able to tag that person in the media pieces, as well as let other SHLers know who the heck I’m trying to guess things about. The survey also gives the option for you to leave it blank (but not actually, as Jepox pointed out, because I made it a requirement. I didn’t trust people to not fill it out, okay?). Only leave it blank if you think I know you well enough to guess who you are.

Favorite NHL team and why (without saying "I grew up in *insert city*")?
There are a lot of people I only talk to once or twice on here, or sometimes not at all, and I still know who they root for in the NHL. This question helps identify people who leave their SHL username blank and it also helps with identifying where a person might be from.

From my very scientific experiments, for example, if someone says they like the Detroit Red Wings, I assume they are older than me, wear lots of plaid, know how to handle disappointment (poorly), possibly from Sweden, and/or have family from Michigan.

What bands or musical artists would you recommend me?
This question helps with identifying who the person is, since linking songs from YouTube or being in a band is like the SHL’s thing. This also helps with identifying how old you are. If you put Post Malone, I’ll think you’re under 25 (or are me). If you put Green Day, I’ll think you’re under 20, since no one who loved Green Day when Dookie came out would think to put Green Day as a band to recommend me. If you put something obscure (to me), I might think you’re not from the states and also I might not know how old tbh.

Since I am giving away my thought process into this information, anyone filling out the survey better not lie to try to throw me off, because this question is also very important in determining if we would be cool to chill in real life.

What TV shows did you grow up watching? If you didn't watch TV, movies or books?
I’m getting tired of explaining the questions, because I think everyone gets it now. Let’s move on to the actual responses.

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PART 1

I am now going to attempt to guess the following: how old these SHLers are, what country they're from, how well I think we'd get along in real life based off just the answers to these questions, and maybe some other things just because.*

*Disclaimer: I’m sorry in advance if any of my guesses and assumptions offend you. I am going through these things answer by answer and typing the first thought that comes into my head. This is meant to be kind of a joke and only taken seriously if it turns out I am SO good at guessing (I won’t be). It should be noted that your first assumptions should never be your final assumptions, but if you get something right, it sure as heck feels great.

SHLer #1: @bluesfan55
Thoughts: I’m pretty sure I know where he’s from and how old he is, but I’m going to feel bad if not rip.

Favorite NHL team and why (without saying "I grew up in *insert city*")?
Code:
The St. Louis Blues. My mother is from the city and I grew up watching a team of Backes, an aging Kariya, and Oshie perennially underachieve.
This is a real shame that I’m blanking on where bloos is from. I definitely thought I knew the answer to this, but I can’t go check the Pride locker room, because that would be cheating. I feel like you said you’re from Canada? But why like the Blues when you have better options? But if your mother is from St. Louis, then that makes unfortunate sense. What a good son. I’m sorry, I’m letting you down, bloos. Hopefully more of your answers help.

What bands or musical artists would you recommend me?
Code:
Radiohead, Weezer, Interpol
I know you’re young, and this would definitely confirm it, because didn’t we all go through a Radiohead and Weezer phase from ages 8 to 14? But I’m pretty sure you’re like 16 now? You were 15 at one time, I recall this. (Personally, I skipped being 15.) How much time has gone by? You’re maybe 16. We’ll see what you say.

What TV shows did you grow up watching? If you didn't watch TV, movies or books?
Code:
Simpsons and the Office.
This one would maybe throw me off since I don’t know what age range to throw Simpsons into—either like mid-30s or teens—but I know you’re a teenager, so this helps confirm my belief.

Do you cook? If yes, what's your favorite thing to make? If no, what's your favorite thing to order?
Code:
Yes, I like to bake. Making cookies is fun.
This question is important for me to determine two things: 1) if the SHLer makes fun stuff that I would enjoy during a hang out and 2) How thoughtful/detailed the SHLer is with responses in general/if they like food. Bloos likes to bake, and that doesn’t tell me much about his age, but it does tell me that we would have a great time in the kitchen whilst I babysat him. Cookies are an A+ in my book.

We're already best buds in real life. We've got the night free to do anything. What are we doing?
Code:
Going out to dinner at a nice sports bar, catching a hockey game on tv there, and then goin back to my place and chellin the night away
So far into the answers, this would definitely make me okay with hanging out with bloos. Not sure if there are any sports bars in my area that let teenagers into them after 8 p.m., but if it wasn’t weird, I’d def watch a game with you, bloos. (It’d be weird, I’m sorry.)

How do you say, "I love you," in your first language?
Code:
I love you (or, in French, je t'aime)
This makes me think you’re from Canada, and since I already thought that in the beginning, I think it’s still true. I hope I’m right.

Rank these social media sites in order of which one you use the most (1 being the most, 5 being the least, 0 being you don't use it): Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, LinkedIn, Tik Tok
Code:
Insta, Snap, Twitter, and I don't have the other three but I f***ing* REVILE TikTok
*I censored him.
I now don’t think I worded this question as best as I wanted to, but you didn’t do it right SO friendship points deducted. I do want to know why you hate TikTok so much. Now I’m embarrassed that I thought it was two words, so that’s what that says about me. Friendship points tacked back on. For someone who hates it so much, you know to spell it as one word…

Give the image url of a meme you'd send me.
[Image: BBBi0uQCYAI6fWC?format=png&name=small]
That is cute but also hey now. Also, I thought this would tell me something about age, but in this case, it does not help.

SHLer #1 Guessing
Bilbo’s Guesses:
How old is bluesfan55?
16
Where is bluesfan55 from? Canada
How well would we get along in real life? Since I think I’m maybe more than 10 years older than you, I feel like the only place we would meet and hang in real life is at a family gathering and you’d be like one of my long lost cousins’ friends who was wearing a Blues hat. I would see your Blues attire and want to talk hockey because I’m deprived of talking about it in real life. Disregarding what I know about your personality from the Pride (you funny) since I said I’d only be answering this question from answers given here, if I found out you liked baking cookies and were down to catch a hockey game at a restaurant, I would be like, “hey, cousin, let me know when you guys are watching hockey,” and then maybe I’d come over and it wouldn’t be weird because family, you know? You’d be my cousins cool friend who I’m like, “hey, it’s that guy, cool.” So we’d get along fine enough. Ty.

Real Answers
This is the part where I asked bloos. My answers have not been altered, I swear on the pine tree by my house, the one that I love the most.
How old is bluesfan55? 15
Where is bluesfan55 from? USA

Bilbo’s Final Thoughts:
Well, I suck. But! I remembered he was once 15 and apparently that’s still true, so thanks for nothing, my concept of time. No surprises that I suck there. I got nothing on the USA thing. I don’t think there’s much in these questions to help determine that. Sorry, bloos. </3

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SHLer #2: @"luketd"
Thoughts: Uhhh I think Luke is from Canada? But you also give off the vibe of someone who lives in Illinois and is unhappy about it, so this should be interesting.

Favorite NHL team and why (without saying "I grew up in *insert city*")?
Code:
Flyers - grew up next to city
Well, well, well, guess who is already wrong and apparently should have been more specific and said “don’t say grew up next either?” I suppose growing up in Illinois is similar to that of growing up anywhere in Pennsylvania according to my very irrational assumptions, right? Fun fact, Zach Woods from Silicon Valley grew up in Pennsylvania, but during high school, his parents somehow let him go to New York City and practice improv comedy until very late at night. Season 6 starts October 27. Yes, that was important for you, the reader, to know. Also even though I now know Luke is from Pennsylvania (or maybe New Jersey and just prefers the Flyers?), it still doesn’t answer the other two questions easily.

What bands or musical artists would you recommend me?
Code:
Beatles, ELO, Led Zeppelin, Kayne West
Well. To just me, this either means you’re 19 or someone in their 20s. I don’t know why, but I’m always surprised when people say they love The Beatles. Not because I don’t like The Beatles, it’s just that they’re so big that I don’t even think about them as a recommendation option. So idk what that tells me about you. You are an older soul and perhaps have parents who like rock music? I met someone at a volunteer event two weekends ago who said her favorite band was The Beatles and she talked about them for well over the amount of time I would usually believe someone I just met would talk about The Beatles. She was probably 23. Kanye is what drops your age for me, but I’m thinking between 19-22 now.

What TV shows did you grow up watching? If you didn't watch TV, movies or books?
Code:
Maggie and the ferocious beast, puff the magic dragon, mister Rogers
Oh, well, this makes me think you’re more like 25-29 now. All of those were great. Thank you for reminding me about Maggie and the Ferocious Beast. I always wanted to toss the beast’s red dots around. That’s what happened in that show, right? This earns you some good points in the “we’d get along in real life” department. I still feel like you’re younger than me though based off I don’t know what, and I’m beginning to remember that first impressions are really strong and also really dumb.

Do you cook? If yes, what's your favorite thing to make? If no, what's your favorite thing to order?
Code:
No
Hmm, a couple things here. Maybe you don’t eat food. Maybe you are so young that someone orders for you so that’s why you couldn’t answer the question to ordering food. Maybe you were just filling this survey out really fast and not paying attention or didn’t care enough. All of those things are good to know.

We're already best buds in real life. We've got the night free to do anything. What are we doing?
Code:
Board games
I do like a good board game night. This doesn’t tell me anything about age though and that’s what I need help with.

How do you say, "I love you," in your first language?
Code:
I love you
Aw, shucks. Ty. Nothing new here though that helps me answer questions.
Rank these social media sites in order of which one you use the most (1 being the most, 5 being the least, 0 being you don't use it): Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, LinkedIn, Tik Tok
Code:
1,3,4,5,2,1
Okay, this helps a lot, actually. (Or not lol.) Now I do think you’re 24+ because Facebook isn’t so hip with the kids anymore, you don’t care for Twitter and Snapchat, and you use LinkedIn, so you are responsible in that way. But then you use TikTok and I know that’s the rage with all the kids, but because you said you use Facebook and LinkedIn more than Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat, I’m thinking you might just be a meme loving 25+ year old. My 27+ friends have spent many a nights making me watch TikTok compilations and they were enjoyable and sometimes confusing.

Give the image url of a meme you'd send me.
[Image: shirtimage-6.png]
I stared at this for a while and I’ve got nothing. I don’t know what’s going on here, please, someone, help. It looks like a hockey net, puck, and a stick, but then I don’t get the other things, and I think maybe the brown shirt is important for this meme but I also don’t know what it’s referring to. If you sent me this meme, I would send it right back. I’m sorry, Luke.

SHLer #2 Guessing
Bilbo’s Guesses:
How old is luketd?
24
Where is luketd from? USA
How well would we get along in real life? I don’t particularly care for your music taste and find it difficult to be bffs with someone who’s not passionate about food, but maybe we could have a solid board game and cartoon night while I order food for us because you don’t do that apparently. I don’t know why I made this question one of the questions to answer for this survey, because if I can at least talk about hockey with someone, chances are we’d get along okay for at least ten minutes at a party before I find the cat to hang with instead. I would also ask you if Kanye’s doing okay, Luke. Me and the cat don’t know.

Real Answers
How old is luketd? 20
Where is luketd from? USA

Bilbo’s Final Thoughts:
It’s entirely not my fault that Luke had someone cool giving him good TV shows to watch as a child. I thought I was going to be closer to correct on the age thing. Sometimes you learn things about yourself that you’re not happy about. Turns out, I am not great at guessing things. That’s okay. I’ll be okay. Part 2 will be me at my best.

---
I have at current count 16 more of these to do. They will most likely get shorter as I go on, so you might see three or four people in part 2. If there are other things you want me to guess about the next people, let me know in the comments below. Thank you to bluesfan55 and luketd for being my true friends and taking the survey first. Hope you don’t get too upset at my terrible guesses. You can feel partially responsible for Dominic Montgomery’s future SHL success.

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#2
(This post was last modified: 10-10-2019, 12:28 AM by luke.)

Oh shit, I thought 1 was my least favorite and 5 was my favorite my bad haha. I confused you

But other than that, spot on

I watched those older shows because my mom had them on VHS, I love Maggie and the beast.

And for the Beatles, they have a ton of really good songs, and some great albums to go along with it. Rubber Soul is my personal favorite from them. I do like Led Zeppelin more though

And the picture is Cameron Carter 2 trying to score.

I should have expanded more on my last 2 answers though, but I think my class was about to start lol

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#3

Ok dom this looks TOO fun

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#4

Great first edition. Looking forward to reading the next 5-10!

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#5

please dont choose me ... this can be only getting bad for myself :(

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#6

its ok bilbo you did a good job of guessing (one off on each thing, so im really proud)

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#7

Kanye dropping his age smh

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08-24-2018, 01:08 PMWannabeFinn Wrote: Ah yes, the veteran meme player. A surefire bet for maybe 400 TPE Tongue
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#8

wow, I thought bloos was very old because Lombardi is very old





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#9

hi @bilbo !!!

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#10

I'm intrigued and want to participate

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#11

10-10-2019, 12:23 AMluketd Wrote: Oh shit, I thought 1 was my least favorite and 5 was my favorite my bad haha. I confused you

But other than that, spot on

I watched those older shows because my mom had them on VHS, I love Maggie and the beast.

And for the Beatles, they have a ton of really good songs, and some great albums to go along with it. Rubber Soul is my personal favorite from them. I do like Led Zeppelin more though

And the picture is Cameron Carter 2 trying to score.

I should have expanded more on my last 2 answers though, but I think my class was about to start lol

Ahh yeah the social media platforms and TV shows are what really sold me on you being a little older lol. The Beatles do have tons of great songs, u ain't wrong. Ty for the meme explanation, that was going to haunt me hahaha.

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#12

10-10-2019, 06:10 AMbluesfan55 Wrote: its ok bilbo you did a good job of guessing (one off on each thing, so im really proud)
I mentally flipped a table about the USA vs. Canada thing lol. ;_; ty for participating.

And thanks everyone else for reading when u didn't have to haha. If you want to participate, you can do just that at this link! Please keep in mind that there will be like ten parts like Tomasnz said wew

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#13

Put me in coach

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#14

do me do me

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#15

Now let's see if you'll find out which entry is mine!

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