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S50 PT #3 - Aches & Pains
#91

What hurts you ask? What hurts??? My damn pride, that's what Hurts! This Texas Renegades squad is absolutely pathetic. We have maybe three people who can contribute on offense to score goals. We have a Goalie who's made of Swiss cheese out there! We have a defense who couldn't guard a telephone pole. How can Ricky Spanish do what he does best if this team is sitting in the basement of the SHLs own basement? It's physically painful to suit up for this team every night. I have nightmares of taking the ice and getting absolutely shelled by the likes of the SHLs most mediocre. I am suffering from a self esteem issue so bad that Tony Robbins couldn't drag me out of this darkness. I'm tired. I'm sore. And I'm mentally exhausted. I don't know how much longer I can go.
#92

Hello my name is monkey d luffy and this is my story. Recently I've been having trouble with my groin and my back. I'm too fast for my own good and that comes with a lot of leg damage in the groin area from skating way faster than a normal human body can handle. My back hurts because I've been carrying the clowns here at buffalo. Not necessarily in terms of point production but in terms of the full work load a hockey player has to do. Since everyone is worried about goals and assists somebody has to worry about the fundamentals inbetween. I gotta play the pp and the pk while also being the driving defensive guy on my line, so that comes with a lot of wear and tear and holding these guys on my back for the wins is a lot of work but somebodies gotta do it. And that hero is monkey d fucking luffy.

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#93

Brusky suffered a leg injury in a bicycling accident back before he was even drafted into the SMJHL . This injury has lingered throughout the entirety of his career and he has played through it, despite the pain that he has to endure in order to play the game that he loves. The injury does not impact his performance on the ice, although early on after the injury it was thought that he'd never be able to skate at full speed. His personal trainer did an excellent job in working him back up to play. After games, the leg always bothers him and the pain flares up, but he deals with that by turning to alcohol. A nice glass of scotch when he returns home or gets back to the hotel always eases the pain and helps him fall asleep so that nature can do its healing process while he sleeps at night. In the morning, he's always ready to go and get back on the ice.


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#94

Tor Tuck has definitely experienced his share of aches and pains over his career. These days the pains are much worse now that Tor Tuck is beyond the prime of his career. However, the training staff does a great job keeping Tor Tuck’s body in a great physical condition and his pain level to a minimum. There is the combination of physical therapy, fancy space technology like cryogenic chambers and deep tissue massage machines that really does make a big difference. When things are especially bad there are also a variety of pills and shots that the trainers have that can really make a difference. Obviously, Tor Tuck is never not feeling some sort of pain. But that is just part of the game. The biggest difference that seems to impact Tor Tuck’s physical state is getting out on the ice and getting the cheers of the fans and the adrenaline pumping. Even one his worst days once he forces himself to get out there on the ice he immediately feels a significant improvement to his state both physically and mentally.

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#95
(This post was last modified: 10-18-2019, 01:22 PM by efiug.)

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#96

168 words

Wow where to start with these aches and pains during the long Simulation Hockey League season. From the end of game number one all the way through the fiftieth, Jack Kennedy is always feeling the aches and pains of minor injuries, but never enough to keep him out of the line up. Playing every game would bot be possible without very talented trainers and the strict regiments they put the players through. For instance, the players are to ride the stationary bikes immediately following games to combat lactic acid build up; after, it is in to the freezing cold ice baths to keep swelling and inflammation down (talk about shrinkage ... I was in the pool!). The guys also have a very good Registered Massage Therapists on staff. They are always there to give a rub down or to try and dig out those especially painful knots. The players also have personalized mealplans constructed by the best of nutritionists. The healthy meals and supplements keep body and mind strong.
#97

Yoshimitsu stared blankly at the doctor, an old man fumbling through the papers. "It's insane! How are you even able to stand up, let alone walk and play hockey?" The piles of paper seemed to be all about the dozens of injuries he had acquired throughout his life, apparently Ninjitsu training turned out to be incredibly demanding of one's body, especially at a young age. The Irish one tilted his head slightly, confused. "Uh... I do it like pretty much everyone else. I get up, I walk, I run, I jump roof by roof on my way to practice, the usual." The doctor was even more surprised. "And it doesn't hurt?" Yoshi grinned. "Not at all! I do feel free by doing all that though, it feels like I'm flying. It also reminds me of home... I was a farmer back in Ireland."

The doctor sighed. "They don't pay me enough for this..."

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Scarecrows Dragons Czechia
Player Page - Update Page
Outlungus
Former Players: Yoshimitsu McCloud (LW, #64) - Outlaws pride Platoon Jets Aurora Ireland
Won a Four Star Cup once, knew ninjutsu, picture editors hated him, never tried free agency
Anton Harrier (LW, #90) - Battleborn Rage Ireland
Won WJC gold, liked skateboarding a lot, went to the finals with Manhattan, kept his seat glued in LR
#98

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´How many fingers I´m holding up?´ New England doctor is known for his sense of humor.

Ensio Kalju has been dealing with the classic case of hurtimus backimus or being butthurt. You can see a picture from his weekly checkup above. Kalju´s season so far has not been easy, the same can be said for New England as a team, but Ensio has been one of the players who has struggled the most. With his own words: I´m getting drilled out there.

Six goals in 33 games with +/- rating of -15 are not numbers you want to see from an offensively minded defender. The treatment for being butthurt is not a simple task, many believe its mostly mental and goes away with time, New England doctor believe its equally important to focus on the physical side. Couple fingers up in the ass every week does wonders in helping players feel better faster. That is if you believe the doctor and why would you not believe him.

Remains to be seen how fast Kalju is back sitting down normally, reports from inside New England suggest that he is already feeling a lot better than couple weeks ago for example, so at least right now things are looking better.
#99

Aches and pains are nothing new for Lyle. He grew up in a hockey family and has been playing his entire life. Lyle isn't afraid to play a physical game, as a rookie this season in the SHL he sits in 6th place for the Specters in hits (54) and 5th in shots blocked with (26). He also has had two fights this season, both fights ending in a draw. Throwing hits, blocking shots and dropping gloves definitely takes the toll on the body, but you won't hear Lyle complain at all. The trainers in NOLA are the best in the business and do everything they can to ease the aches and pains of all of the Specters. Lyle typically spends some time in the ice baths after practices and games, but always makes sure that he isn't getting treated before his teammates. He is very reluctant to actually say that he is hurting and says he just likes relaxing in the ice baths, that it gives him a chance to reflect on his game, but the bruises and welts all over his body tell a slightly different story...

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Scarecrows   Specters   Canada 





Whenever Prince Devitt is dealing with nagging injuries from his wrestling past or from over the course the season. He relies lying in an ice bath for up to 30 mins to an hour or a cryrotherapy for around the same around of time. Obviously not for too long as he doesn't want to end up with frostbite from the intense coldness of these types of recover processes. Also, there's an unorthodox way that Prince Devitt handles pain, he would usually head to the same massage therapy place that he goes for cryrotherapy and ask for a massage but not a normal massage but with a happy ending from the masseur which results in relieving a lot of stress and pressure that he's had from the game he just had the other day or just building muscle tension that he usually gets from the long regular season and his wrestling past with New Japan Wrestling, as bumping off that mat isn't soft at all.

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Thanks to prettyburn, TML, Carpy, JNH, Jepox, Engi, Karey, Flappy, Skolpadder, Mook, DollarAndADream, Smirnov and Toe for the sigs.


Code:
Crossfit's First Career SHL Goal, 4. Manhattan Rage , Crossfit Jesus 1 (Pedro Sarantez, Nucky Toohoots) at 5:51

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Devitt's First Career SHL Goal, 5. Calgary Dragons , Prince Devitt 1 (Barry Batsbak 21, Mike Izzy 14) at 10:43




(This post was last modified: 10-18-2019, 06:25 PM by StadiumGambler.)

Nick Brain isn't legally allowed to feel pain enough not to play, due to the CBA rules dictating that injuries are not allowed in the SHL. However, Nick experiences the pain just like any other player. Most notably in the recent tough 5-4 loss to the Los Angeles Panthers on Day 52 of the season, Nick was checked hard in open-ice by Welshman and international teammate Maurice Picard, and there was also some knee on knee contact. Nick spent the night in a Winnipeg hospital getting X-rays, but luckily there's no serious damage. There is however a bruise the size of Winnipeg's Downtown district on Nick's left leg, all mutli-coloured and veiny and stuff.

Nick gets the usual anti-inflammatory pills after game night from the Jets training staff, and that combined with some reasonable quality marijuana from Cloudy's Dank Kush, Inc. helps Nick manage the aches and pains throughout the season. Nick's had several very minor injuries in his career but like many others in the league, hasn't missed a game due to injury since being drafted into the SMJHL by the Colorado Raptors in Season 45. Damn CBA......

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Agent of Nick Brain: Center/Right Winger - Winnipeg Aurora
Agent of John Torrance: Advisor to the General Manager - Winnipeg Aurora
Agent of Anatoli Terrorov: Head Coach - Colorado Raptors

Nick Brain Player Profile: http://simulationhockey.com/showthread.php?tid=91326
Nick Brain Update Thread: http://simulationhockey.com/showthread.php?tid=91332

Injuries happen in all sports all across the world, luckily enough the SHL has been so lucky that no major injuries have occurred. (as if someone was playing a game and had the injury option turned off.) Minor injuries occur to players in this league all the time, but we are all able to play through them as if nothing is wrong. For me, I have had a few nagging injuries which have thankfully been a non factor. I once banged my funny bone really hard on my way off the ice at the end of the 2nd period in a game against the New Orleans Specters last season. The latest has been a stiff neck which only bothers me when I turn my head left, and a minor case of what has been described by my doctor as turf toe. (This is more painful than I can describe, but is like a super itchy rash.)

Hippo's bones and brain hurt, the first one because his bones are just too dense. They weigh more then the average human being. For his short statue he's density is what makes him weigh a tonne of pounds. He's really short, like 4 something american units. When he was born his biological parents didn't connect to him, they contemplated donating him to research because the doctors told them he wouldn't survive the first few days. Plopping out of moms vajayjay he weighed an astounding 11kg's. That more then the Russian freak Karelin. Hippo was so heavy at birth his dad almost died during the childbirth. Not getting the money they wanted his parents decided to give him up for adoption instead and he ended up at his real parents farm.

The reason Hippo's brain hurt is cause money's tight. One can only go through so much blow and hookers in a year before your wallet starts echoing



RETIRED


Barret McCarthy has a good deal of pains and minor injuries through the season he plays through. Between hitting, being hit, and the number of shots he blocks with his body in a season, it's not hard to tell why he ends up black, blue, bruised, and sore all season long. He deals with the pain with a combination of winning, being a better player, and alcohol. A lot of alcohol. The rise of so many craft breweries in the area in and around Manhattan has put McCarthy on the map as sort of a beer connoisseur. He doesn't drink to party like many young players do, he just enjoys a good beer or five. After his session of beer drinking he heads back to the training facilities for an ice bath and a large amount of Powerade to counteract the dehydration from the alcohol. The alcohol helps the blood thin and flow to the muscles and the Powerade increases the electrolytes in his body and the ice bath soothes the sore muscles. Try it sometime, it works, trust me!










I do not feel pain. I am the savior of the universe. What are these aches and pains you speak of? I have felt a tickle after throwing a hit onto another player, but have never felt anything from being hit. Be it by body or puck. My job on the ice is simple, hit the forwards looking to score and block any shots that go at my goalie. I have never been injured in my whole entirety of being a hockey player. I have heard some good things from around the locker room that help my teammates. Most seem to think a good hot bath will heal the wounds. They also seem to think it will sooth the aches in their bones. While I cannot say if this works or not, I notice a few guys doing this after taking hits in the game. So I would say this is the remedy you speak of. You are better off asking someone else who feels pain though.




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