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In the middle of nowhere, N.D.
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4,512 words. Gib bonus.

So once upon a time, I had this whole story arch mapped out for Alexis Metzler that I was going to write through a series of media pieces. It's a story arch I'd been thinking about since day one, and across media and PTs I have never once lost consistency on it. It's been more than 2 years since I wrote the last one, and it's significantly less than 2 years until I'm going to retire him. In the light of that, I'm doing one last interview of Alexis Metzler, with the intention of wrapping up every vaguely interesting plot point I ever had for him. It's set in the offseason between S49 and S50, and would have been posted then too, if I'd finished it then.

This will be the last media piece I submit to this forum, of any kind, at least until after Metzler has retired.

All of the content is in context, and it does not imply or allude to anything out of context.


~

It's an extraordinarily long trip to the middle of nowhere in North Dakota, but when word reached me that he was ready to talk again, I didn't hesitate one second to book the travel time. My current newspaper will compensate me for this. I last made this trip seventeen years ago, and I couldn't get that trip paid back, but that was two newspapers ago, and he wasn't yet arguably the greatest SHL defenseman still playing back then, either.

After three hours drive from the Bismarck airport in a rented hatchback, I wasn't yet there. He wasn't with his relatives in Minnewaukan; just like last time I talked with him, he was off playing golf in an empty field on the other side of Devils Lake. Just like last time, he sailed across the lake with his golf clubs to get there. Just like last time, it was a field on Grahams Island. The same field, in fact. Fortunately, accessible by car. And just like last time, he had gone there alone.

It might strike you as odd that someone would go and play golf, alone, in an empty field, but this isn't particularly out of character for the person I wanted to interview today. A strangely solitary lifestyle seems to be the method of operation for this player. When he sets out to travel from the city he calls home for hockey purposes, to the place he grew up in, he travels most of the distance by yacht, all the way through the Great Lakes to Duluth. He makes the trip alone, and I'm not the slightest bit surprised to discover that he has another boat out here in North Dakota.

There's no wife, or girlfriend, or significant other at all. He donates to various charities, but he's not served as an ambassador for any of them, nor for any brand at all. His name graces the successful waffle house franchise he owns, slowly creeping across the northern United States, but forget being featured on the advertising- with the exception of a Late Show with Stephen Colbert skit, he's rarely even photographed in them. He absolutely used to be scared of people, once upon a time, but since the dramatic events of the season 39 SHL awards ceremony, he almost seems to have grown disinterested. I am quite astounded, frankly, to have this interview opportunity at all. Especially in this place. It is undoubtedly the deepest sanctuary of a recluse.

There was no car park on this side of the island. The road, eventually, just ended, and I parked at the end of it. He was visible when I got out of the car, and he made no effort to wave me down. I simply walked out over the field to where he was. His first words to me were a question about golf.

"Do you think I'd have a better time finding the balls if they were pink, or orange?"

I couldn't help myself.

"You don't have any in green and gold?"

"The entire field is green and gold, buddy."

So began my interview of Alexis Metzler.

~

Metzler is the captain of the Buffalo Stampede, and he has held that C for no less than 12 seasons. He is the two time winner of the Stevens trophy for the best defenseman in the SHL, and two time runner up. He has more points than any other defenseman still playing in the SHL, although Schroder is only just behind him, even now, as they both move up through the very highest heavens of that particular leaderboard. He has lifted the Challenge Cup twice in the past few years, and everyone and their dog could see that winning that first championship was a huge weight off his shoulders. Alexis smiles more. He spends more time talking to fans as he walks down the street, and that's not just because of the weight off his shoulders thing. Alexis Metzler has had a very long journey in this town, and it had some low points.

Alexis Metzler was notoriously hated by the Buffalo faithful about 13 years ago; a fan base that was utterly frustrated when, after several awful chokes, every star or future star on the team up and left in free agency except for himself. The defacto media whipping boy became the defacto Stampede captain, and with his personal best seasons happening soon after, Metzler's fortunes changed. Bars that never would have served him would now offer him booze on the house, if Alexis ever elected to walk into one. He was the one player who could have played anywhere he wanted, but stayed; he was the one player who believed that glory could come to upstate New York when most followers of the SHL permanently wrote off both of the S25 expansion teams within just a couple of seasons after they began. He had to wait longer than some of his other former team mates, but he was right.

I asked Alexis Metzler a few questions about this journey.

"When you signed that seven season contract, way back in S38, did you think you'd play the entire thing out with Buffalo? Did you think you'd still be there today?"

"There was never any hesitation signing that contract, for me. I'd only done two and three seasons contracts up to that point. The first one, of course, was actually signing onto the Portland organization, and we know how that turned out. When it was time to choose whether or not to re-sign, I actually wasn't really yet sure about Buffalo. But I knew that we were on the way up, and I wanted to give GM Walrus a fair shot- which to me, is more like 5 or 6 seasons, not 2 or 3. By the time that contract was approaching the end, I was happy to extend it. Then of course, when Walrus had to step down, the SHL leadership brought in WannabeFinn, my old SMJHL GM- and I never hesitated in giving him a big long shot. Never regretted it at all."

"Were you ever worried about being traded?"

"Nah, both GMs knew I was special. Whenever someone tried to make an offer to Finn to try and acquire me, he'd actually tell me, and we'd have a laugh about it. We had offers like what Minnesota paid for GOD McZehrl and Finn would joke they were lowballing us, heh."

On the pressure from the fans around him,

"What about the fans? Have you ever felt the heat from them?"

"I always knew what they thought about me. I won't pretend it didn't hurt. It still does, some days. I know Louis retired from 16AA, but I still don't like hearing New Kid In Town on the radio."

Alexis proceeded to smack a golf ball with his driver, quite hard, before continuing.

"It got better after I started playing like a champion, and in particular after the season 39 awards ceremony, but it didn't really go away until after the second cup. Even now I still hear at least one stupid thing a month. I learned to stay off the internet and wear sunglasses and a hat to the cafe."

"Who still makes remarks now?"

"There's a few people who still think I'm only in it for the money. They're usually wearing nicer clothes than me, so I guess there's some projection going on there."

"Do you get a lot of positive stuff now, that Buffalo has finally won a championship?"

"Sure, definitely a lot more friendly hello than screw you. I wasn't the superstar hero in either cup run, but people recognize me on the street. Kids squeal and run up to say hi. I'm in a lot of selfies now. Sign quite a few hats too."

~

Alexis Metzler has faced far worse than just contract criticism, though. After the season 39 awards ceremony was over, Alexis was walking back out on the red carpet, and faced the media for a press conference. During the conference, a member of the public, someone from an amateur podcast, shouted a question over the otherwise orderly press pack, a question that derailed the after party for the entire league.

"Is it true you attempted suicide in a team hotel in Hamilton back in S33?"

Alexis Metzler did not deny it; he did not say anything at all, but everyone saw all of the blood leave his face, and everyone saw him leave the venue in a cab he hailed while jogging down the street. I regret, as a professional reporter, that more than a few others from my industry attempted to give chase and seek comment. No comment came for years.

The outrage sent shockwaves through the league. The podcaster who made the accusation followed it up with public accusations against the Buffalo Stampede organizations of both a cover-up and malpractice against Metzler. The podcaster, a resident and citizen of Canada, never attempted to prove his claims in court; Metzler never attempted to seek reparations from either the podcaster or the team, and the Buffalo Stampede organization never took any action at all beyond a strong denial of a cover-up or malpractice.

I was lucky, today. It seems that when I got the call, Metzler was finally ready to say more than just the few prepared remarks he made at the time, and I was made aware in advance that the topic would not be off the menu, if I wanted to pursue it. Reporters who had pushed the issue had gotten in trouble before- in fact, the one case of legal action that spawned from the entire affair came about after Stampede security accidentally broke the arm of a New York Post reporter when forcibly removing them from a press conference.

Fortunately, my arm was not at risk today, as we walked together across this remote island field to where Alexis had now hit all his golf balls.

"So what actually happened? Did the team really mess with you and cover it up?"

"Nope. Not even a little bit. If they had, I would have left a long time ago, of course. Some time was needed for me to get perspective on what went wrong, but it was all settled old news by the time I was given a C. As for the cover up, well, why would you put it out there? I didn't want it out there, and never did, and I didn't have a damn clue what to do when it did go public. That podcaster nailed one thing- I'd never been seen without long sleeves on because I didn't want anyone to see those scars. I still don't get why he thought I'd be on his side if he told everyone, and that's after we actually talked about it."

"You talked to him? When did that happen?"

"I met him face to face- Hamilton, actually, the same hotel, about five years ago. If I'd met him any sooner I might have punched his lights out. We still didn't agree on anything. He was hoping I'd at least take advantage of it to, and I quote, 'do some good in the world', and that's where the conversation ended."

"The fact that you didn't use it as an opportunity to advocate for or work with any depression or suicide awareness groups is the one argument that still floats around today. What do you have to say about that argument?"

"Why does it have to be me, though? I didn't want my old demons to be public. If people were worried about me, the best thing for me was to leave that stuff exactly where it was. I was done with it. I didn't think about it at all. I was laser focused on hockey. I wouldn't have been receiving a Stevens in S39 if I'd been thinking about what I did in S33. I know for a fact that people in the media had seen the same footage of my arm and deduced the same thing that guy did. I know that they knew because they asked, and I personally told them what it was on the condition that they never cover it. The idiot never asked. I donate a million dollars a year to depression and suicide related charities, but I'm not even the public face for my own waffles. I have to sail my own boat, and I stopped caring about how selfish that sounded a long time ago."

"You didn't comment about it for a very long time- and then abruptly, in the middle of the S42 playoffs, you read out a pre-prepared statement about the event. Why choose that moment to talk about it? Did something change your mind?"

"When I won the Stevens back in S39, there was an internal victory there. I'd long since taken control of the thoughts that I didn't deserve to be in the league, but that trophy was a death blow. I was the best defenseman in the league. Even the nomination would have been enough, really. But then an hour later I go outside, and suddenly it comes back to haunt me in this massive new way. That ruined my night, to be honest. Those issues weren't a factor in my life anymore, and I would have been better off not winning if it meant it was never dragged up. Maybe it would have happened anyway. I dunno.

So then I still played really well over the next two seasons, but it wasn't until S42 that I was clearly in the Stevens picture again- in fact, S42 was the best season I've ever had, and there was probably no way I wasn't winning. I wasn't expecting to see the podcaster again, but you know someone would have made a comment or asked a question about how it felt different. This time, I didn't want the night tainted by that, not one word. I read my statement; I read it exactly as I wrote it. Then after the cameras and microphones were all turned off, I told everyone in the room that I never wanted to hear a damn thing about it again, and they should tell fellow media members the same thing. It's been long enough now that I feel I can tell you."


I took the cue.

"I won't pry any further. You've said a lot to process as is."

"Thanks. Hopefully there'll never be a reason to ask me about it again."

~

Some players are successful during their hockey careers, but don't find the ability to translate that to any form of financial success in life after hockey. Some SHL players have had below average careers, but turned around afterwards to find a life in the business world. Alexis Metzler is a rare breed- not only has he had a celebrated career on the ice, but he also looks to already have it made outside of the sports world, too.

Some of you will have already visited a Metzwaffle- especially if you're in upstate New York or near the western end of the Great Lakes, the two core regions of this particular eatery. I've been there twice, myself; I'm no food critic, but I enjoyed what I had. If you were still unsure and wondering, yes, this business was started and funded by Alexis Metzler.

"So why did you start Metzwaffle?"

"I was never going to have all of my eggs in one basket. I'm good at maths. If I didn't make it in professional hockey, I would have gone to business school and tried to launch something like this on the side as well. Having the big contracts just gave me a bigger jump start for what I wanted to do."

"Did you always want to do desserts?"

"Well, you have to do something you're passionate about. I like dessert. I don't eat ice cream all the time or anything, I'm an SHL player. But when I was young and I could still stuff myself with impunity, I developed strong preferences about waffles and pancakes and a few other similar things. It just so happens that those preferences were for my Gran's waffles, and I promised her that if it was up to me, everyone would get to try her waffles. I'm working on it. If it wasn't waffles, it would've probably been donuts or something. If it was waffles and not hockey, maybe I'd be selling boats. Who knows?"

"How involved were you in the day to day business of Metzwaffle?"

"Not much now. When it started, a bit more. Honestly, I put about five hundred thousand aside, I wrote out a few core recipes, and I hired a few friends from high school who went to college for business studies and had heads for this stuff. We had one in Syracuse, down the road in New York, one in Bismarck, where we grew up, and one in suburban St Paul. They all killed it, so I kept putting money in. I'd have to Google it to find out how many there are now."

"Do you think you'll get more involved when you retire from the SHL?"

"Maybe. But I'm certainly not launching one in Minnewaukan. That's kind of the point of retirement."

He had me there.

~

Not every player gets to lift a Challenge Cup. Almost all of the greats have done it. Alexis Metzler had to play nearly 800 regular season and playoff games combined to get there, but at the end of season 46, the Stampede organization finally got their hands on the most coveted trophy in simulation sports. Alexis Metzler, visibly in tears, lifted the Challenge Cup to the background of the Buffalo faithful bringing the house down the KeyBank centre.

"What was it like? To finally win the Challenge Cup?"

Even now, Alexis was smiling when he answered.

"I don't know how to put words to it. It wasn't just the greatest feeling for me. It was the greatest thing I've ever done. It was the greatest thing I've ever even seen. I thought the fans were about to spill onto the ice, and it didn't even feel like a problem."

"We all know you're a private guy- but how did you celebrate?"

"People thought the cup parade was the thing that happens 2 days later. They're wrong. That was just the official cup parade. The cup parade began when we took our skates off in the locker room. We the players, the coaches, the staff, we all carried the thing out the front door of the rink. We got mobbed, and that was the plan. We walked all night. We went past the Bisons park, the Grand Hotel, City Hall, and just sort of kept going. I've even got a photo of the cup next to that really old tree on Franklin Street. I conked out in a Tim Horton's or something. The organization had to ring us all to figure out where we wound up and send Ubers. I don't even know where the cup was found next morning."

"You nearly lost the cup?"

"Haha, I think it just kind of kept going. They might have even made it all the way back to KeyBank, I dunno."

Some people weren't sure what this would mean for Alexis Metzler. Between those of us in the media, it was believed that Metzler had been tossing up pursuing opportunities with other teams- whatever he could do to get a ring before he retired. He'd still played well in that run, putting up 13 points in 17 games. But myself and others in my industry thought he'd be done, or that he'd at least hand over the captaincy. He did neither. Two seasons later, Alexis Metzler lifted the Challenge Cup in the KeyBank centre again; this time, with an impressive personal effort of 20 points in 22 games. The effort demonstrated that he was still, arguably, the best defenseman on his team; certainly the best defenseman in the league for that playoff run, and pushed him into the SHL's 2nd All Star Team for S48.

"Was winning the second cup as good as winning the first?"

"Well, there wasn't the sense of relief, but otherwise, sure. You work hard to get there."

"You had a much stronger personal playoff campaign in S48. Was it sweeter, knowing you'd contributed more?"

"Not really. It's a team effort. I got an extra goal from the point, and some other guys had better luck with their own shots after I passed it to them."

"Do you think you were unlucky to miss out on a Razov nomination?"

"Who cares? I lifted the Challenge Cup."

~

We're about to start S50, and Alexis Metzler is still playing, and still the captain of his team. He has played 900 games, every single one of them in green and gold.

"You're still the captain. When did you plan to hand over the role to someone else?"

"I dunno. I've thought about it, but I'm in two minds. One idea is to hand the job over soon, so that the next guy knows what they're doing a little earlier. The other idea is to not step down until I retire, so the next guy doesn't have me looming in the background. I guess if I'm asked to step down, I'll pass it on, but I've not had that conversation with the team management yet. It'd be weird to not be captain anymore."

~

The Simulation Hockey League has a leaderboard that not many people pay attention to- defensemen by points. There's a good reason why. With a handful of exceptions, almost nobody in even the top 50 of this list is still playing today. The two most notable exceptions? Alexis Metzler, and Ludwig Koch Schroder. They sit at #7 and #8 for all time points by defensemen, #41 and #42 for points by all SHL players, and at 657 and 655 points each.

"So, there's just two defensemen left from your draft class. Yourself, and Ludwig Koch Schroder. What's the rivalry been like over the years?"

"Schroder is cool. We had the privilege of being on the same pair about 15 years ago, when he was briefly in Buffalo. I've always had a lot of respect for him."

"Who do you think was better? Him or you?"

"Oof."

"Do you know you have more points than him?"

"I don't really think about the overall stats about...

No. Actually, I won't do that. I know exactly how many points I have, and exactly how many points Schroder has, and Clayton, and Velevra, and Nuck, and Dover, and Scherbluk. I'll own up and say that I don't remember where Garbanzo reached, but I honestly think nobody will pass him while I'm still alive."


"So who is better?"

"Probably Schroder. I've got 2 more points. Big deal. He's got 92 more shot blocks, he's got 324 more shots on goal, he's got 97 less penalty minutes. His plus minus is way better, although he's definitely had more team success than me. He's got more cups. I've got more Stevens trophies, but the first one, arguably, should have been his."

"That was definitive."

"I'm a numbers guy. Numbers are definitive. No point in being sore about it."

I rolled my eyes a bit, there.

"You remembered all of those numbers, though. Does that sound like someone who isn't sore?"

"Well, we're both near the top of most of those statistics, too. Not plus minus, though. I'm just old school."

"Do you think you'll finish as number one yourself in any of those statistics?"

"Nah."

~

Alexis Metzler is now 38 years old. Not many players make it to 38; even most of the greats hang it up by this point. One of the questions I get asked the most by people who read my articles from the Buffalo area is if I've got any inside word on Alexis Metzler's future. The honest truth is that I didn't know anything, and nobody I know knew anything either. No interview with Metzler, even one as informal as a casual conversation in a field in the middle of rural North Dakota, was going to fail to brush on this topic.

I never expected to get an answer as forthright as this.

"You're 38. You're still putting it all on the line, but you're not the player you were 10 seasons ago. When do you decide if it's time for retirement?"

"It'll be at the end of season 52."

"Wait, what? You already know? How long have you had the end of season 52 in mind?"

"Probably 10 seasons."

I was speechless for some time.

"Don't worry, you're not going to cause drama or anything. The organization has known for about 7, maybe 8 years."

"What would make you stay longer?"

"Maybe if Buffalo didn't want to call up my replacement for another season, or it clashed with when Walker decided to go. But even then, only one season."

"What if you felt like you had unfinished business?"

"There's all of about 2 or 3 people who have the right to look at my resume as a player and seriously think that I have unfinished business. I don't really talk to any of them. Everyone else, frankly, is welcome to try and do better themselves. One day I will be playing hockey, and the day after, I will not. There's nothing complicated about that."

~

Eventually, the interview was over, and I drove away, back off Grahams Island, expecting to catch a series of connecting flights home the next day. Alexis Metzler did not leave. When I last looked at that island, during sunset, his boat was still there, and I've no doubt he was still driving golf balls around. For all his success on the ice, there's always been a part of him that still felt, to the rest of us, like it was out in the middle of nowhere in North Dakota. He'd be a very different person if he wasn't.

[Image: avakaelsig.gif]


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#2

damn avakael i missed your old serialized metzler articles
nice to see them back with a bang

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#3

10-11-2019, 01:52 PMbluesfan55 Wrote: damn avakael i missed your old serialized metzler articles
nice to see them back with a bang

Cheers. Wish I'd put aside more time to do it properly, though.

[Image: avakaelsig.gif]


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#4

This was very nice. Well written, well thought out, consistent in tone and sweet.

Metzler is a living legend. The league will be poorer for his absence in a few seasons.

You da man, Avakael

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