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S50 SMJHL PT 3 - Slam Poetry
#1
(This post was last modified: 10-13-2019, 07:32 PM by ej27.)

Sometimes, you just need to do a little good old-fashioned trash talk!  

Written Option: Write at least 3 different haiku poems trash talking a rival team, a rival player, the league, whatever.

Code:
Haiku Format:

Only three lines, totaling 17 syllables throughout.
The first line is 5 syllables.
The second line is 7 syllables.
The third line is 5 syllables like the first.

Graphic Option: Create a tabloid magazine cover featuring a scandalous headline about a player from another team.

Reward
4 TPE for doing the thing. (Just one of the options, not both.)


Only S50 SMJHL Rookies (S51 SHL Rookies) are eligible for this PT.

Do NOT claim TPE for this task until a post has been made in the claim thread.

Deadline Sunday 10/20 @ 10pm EST

[Image: 45029_v.gif]



Sigs by: King, Tweedledunn, Me
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#2

Colorado high
Eyes red as a pummeled nose
Felled, broken, losers

Vancouver passes
Gastown whistles out the rear
Discharging dangles

Fort Whoop-up just whooped
Bjornosonson so bad
Revenge is coming

The Swedish phenom!
[Image: oie_oie_glitters.gif]

The SMJHL has aged me...
[Image: 4EGxhmr.gif]
#3
(This post was last modified: 10-14-2019, 02:21 AM by NJBadApple.)

Who are our rivals,
Oh wait; The entire league,
Still stand not a chance.

What is a Scarecrow,
I will sleep with all their mom's,
Let's call that a score.

Terrible rebrand,
Carolina doesn't care,
Poor Wood Buffalo.

Player Page || Update Page

[Image: a5C9JXf.png]



CERTIFIED THREAD KILLER
MONTREAL IMPACT FOREVER
#4

Look at your low skill
No one is as good as me
Undraft this guy now

The league is tight
But the teams are shit as hell
Except Kelowna

Dont blame me for it
Blame your GM for the trash
That he makes your team to be



Knights - Player Page - Update Page - Knights




[Image: 47963_s.gif]

#5

Colorado sucks
No one likes their uniforms
Their GMs smoke crack

Vancouver hunt whales
Let their fans down every year
Blubber bad for heart

We all hate Detroit
We really just hate Detroit
Detroit is just bad

[Image: bluesfan55.gif]
Armada Steelhawks Switzerland

Armada Specters Wolfpack Steelhawks Forge Switzerland

Scarecrows pride Chiefs Riot Stars Blizzard Ireland

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs
#6

PBE Affiliation +4 TPE
#7

Alex Petrenko
Will win Rookie of the Year
You fools should watch out

Anaheim Outlaws
Don't let our record fool you
You all will go down

Ruslan has the goals
But I'm a passing mofo
No rookie better!

[Image: traphag2.gif]
(sigs courtesy of Carpy48, BDonini, Turd Ferguson, FlappyGiraffe, and Sulovilen)
#8

I lost my first game.
I have no feelings of shame.
I still want to cry.

I'm with the Outlaws.
We will step and trounce on yall.
Most of you have flaws.

I'm the best rookie.
I hope you all will see me.
I'm the best goalie.
#9

Anchorage hockey
Is such a sight to behold
If only you lack eyes

Kelowna is harder
For players and fans to say
Than they are to play

Vancouver is poor
Lineup to coach and goalies
Fans cheer Halifax

[Image: sfOMki5.png]
#10

WannabeFinn-o?
The worst of the Kekkonens
Letting the team down

JC Penney, hmm
Better than KC Phillips
He does not sell clothes

Cody is no good
Diablo Cody is good
Writer of Juno

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#11

Vancouver, who's that?
They're literally the worst
Get out and stay out

Matt Kholin likes to stab
I just want some Russian fun
No hookers here though 

Thicc Cheezy struggles
This league is absolute shit
It is not his fault

[Image: img]
#12

Vancouver Whalers
You are a terrible team
The worst in the league

Regular season
Everyone makes playoffs right?
What a waste of time

Haikus don't need rhymes
It doesn't make any sense
Just like head office

[Image: creller_dragons.png]
#13

Raptors win again
Crushing halifax today
then carolina

Anaheim will fall
their goalie will stop nothing
not a single save

Henrik Lundqvist Jr
can take down any team he faces
with awesome passing

[Image: oie_floaties.gif]
#14
(This post was last modified: 10-17-2019, 02:51 PM by Evok.)

I hear fuck Detroit
Falcons don’t smell super good
Might be the poop stain

Knights live in tin can
Can’t score when you can’t see stuff
That’s why they are bad

No pucks in the net
No Lions present in Lethbridge
Find more similar

(ran them in a haiku syllable counter so they should be good)

[Image: Evok.gif]


[Image: merha.gif]
#15

Vancouver Whalers
Nobody messes with us
Not even your moms.

Although we are last,
Don’t think you will have a blast
Because you will Fall.

And when that happens,
You will be gone with the wind.
For we are Whalers!

[Image: pnI7R5r.png]





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