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bilbo · 11-10-2019, 02:31 AM

Quote:Ready for grading! Word Count: 3,161

Bilbo Guesses Things About SHLers, Part 3

By: bilbo

Part 1
Part 2

Now that everyone on the SHL besides probably flam is up and/or still sleeping, I'll post this.

Four or so weeks ago, I posted a survey on Discord asking SHLers to fill out a survey that asked them questions like “what do enjoy cooking?” and “how do you say “I love you” in your first language?” all with the thought in mind that these questions would help me identify these key things: how old this SHLer is, what country they’re from, and then also how well I think we’d get along in real life based off JUST the answers to these questions, real friendship cast aside.

Due to the overwhelming number of responses (30 is overwhelming, okay?), I’ve cut off responses to the survey for now until I can get these out of the way. Thank you all for supporting the Bilbo Needs Seasonal Equipment Fund.

NEW for part 3: In the event that an SHLer already thinks I know enough about them, the instruction was that they could leave the username section blank on the survey and I’d guess who they were. This next part includes two such people.

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PART 3

I am now going to attempt to guess the following: how old these SHLers are, what country they're from, how well I think we'd get along in real life based off just the answers to these questions, and maybe some other things just because.*

*Disclaimer: I’m sorry in advance if any of my guesses and assumptions offend you. This is meant to be kind of a joke and only taken seriously if it turns out I am SO good at guessing (I won’t be).

SHLer #1: Anonymous
Hype. I already cheated and looked at the next question, but I do get hype and nervous about some of these anons. I am not nervous about this person though.

Favorite NHL team and why (without saying "I grew up in *insert city*")?

Code:
Canucks but this team is wank

This is @goldenglutes I am 100.2% sure already. So, uh, from Canada and roughly 21-22 years of age and I can’t remember if I’ve ever learned your age and it’s going to annoy me greatly if I don’t get this right.

What bands or musical artists would you recommend me?

Code:
Neutral Milk Hotel, Tame Impala, The Killers

I’ve never heard of Tame Impala, so I’ve chosen to listen to a song by them called “The Less I Know The Better” on YouTube, even though this song title is the opposite point of these survey posts. Update: Never mind, I know this song. And even without this band recommendation, your Neutral Milk Hotel suggestion would put you near hipster town between the ages of 21-30 for me. Strange that you chose The Killers as a rec. I am just learning that they are still touring, which, good for them. Are you just a fan of the classic Hot Fuss album that I jammed to in my youth or are you into their newer stuff? Cool picks, gg.

What TV shows did you grow up watching? If you didn't watch TV, movies or books?

Code:
I watched a lot of TV as a kid so I'm not sure if this is enough room to list all of them. My top 3 most watched were probably Spongebob, Jimmy Neutron, Dexter's Lab?

It warms my heart to hear that you also watched a lot of TV, as I did as well. Those are all good choices, and because I watched all those shows and don’t know for how long they went on after I stopped watching them, I would normally be putting you between 25-28 years of age now. Turns out you were just a kid with good TV taste.

Do you cook? If yes, what's your favorite thing to make? If no, what's your favorite thing to order?

Code:
Yes, pizza or bread. I've been thinking about trying to make detroit style pizza (and also chicago deep dish) ;)

Not sure that making pizza calls for a winky face but if it’s to rub it in my face that you’re going to make the one true type of pizza (Detroit deep dish), then u know, get on with your bad self. Please send pics.

We're already best buds in real life. We've got the night free to do anything. What are we doing?

Code:
Probably play some video games, then try to watch a movie then probably fall asleep halfway through and go eat at some diner sometime past midnight when we wake up

This was honestly my dream hangout scenario up until the middle of college. Luv me a mid-way hangout nap. And to know that you wouldn’t judge but would also nap at the same time?? What more could I possibly ask for. I would probably have to be drunk in order to agree to leave the house past midnight for food, because if I’ve already been in naptown for a while, why leave? But I guess if we’re at your home and you don’t have snacks, then this might be very important. I have snacks though, so if we’re at mine, we’re good. I just made salmon in 20 minutes tonight (when I originally wrote this lol), so like, the possibilities are endless. If you don’t like salmon though, that’s okay. I’ve only just discovered I like it. If you’re driving to the diner, I’ll def get chicken tendies. Oh, and concerning this survey’s objectives, this definitely would make me think you’re under 25 now.

How do you say, "I love you," in your first language?

Code:
我愛你 (I had to pull out google translate for this because I don't have a chinese keyboard on my computer yes that is the only reason)

This would also give you away as your username. Hopefully one day you get that keyboard.

Rank these social media sites in order of which one you use the most (1 being the most, 5 being the least, 0 being you don't use it): Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, LinkedIn, TikTok

Code:
Facebook Messenger if it counts, then Insta, then Linkedin, then none of the above

This would keep you in the 23-25 range for me, but I feel like not based off these answers that you’re younger. Such a responsible young gg on LinkedIn.

Give the image url of a meme you'd send me.
[Image: image0.jpg]

Lmao. Is that from that duck game? Idk. But I like this and I appreciate you, ty.

SHLer #1 Guessing
Bilbo’s Guesses:
Who is this? It’s gg.
How old is goldenglutes? 22
Where is goldenglutes from? Canada
How well would we get along in real life? Honestly, like probably really well lmao, even just based off these answers. That was very nice to see. How nice that you thought I would know you well enough and u were right! Cheers

Real Answers
This is the part where I asked goldenglutes if he was this anon. My answers have not been altered.
Dis u? Yes, it was goldenglutes.
How old is goldenglutes? 22
Where is goldenglutes from? Canada

Bilbo’s Final Thoughts:
I’m an amazing guesser and heck you to anyone who doubted me.
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SHLer #2: @micool132
Okay, so I don’t know anything about micool besides the fact that you are on the Pride and your player is Nathan Explosion. So I am so sorry in advance if I get everything wrong, micool, please don’t hate me.

Favorite NHL team and why (without saying "I grew up in *insert city*")?

Code:
Montreal Canadiens, as much as you dislike my answer it's because it's the local team, I was exposed to them a lot more than any other NHL team and fell in love with the tradition, the history and the great players who played there.

Oh nooo, you betrayed the question and now I know you are from Canada. How sad that I have an answer right (*has extreme doubt anyway*). I get that though with the habs, micool. When I visited Montreal, we made sure to visit around the arena and the statues and stuff were very cool. Definitely can understand liking the tradition, u good. I’m not sure what age I think you are yet.

What bands or musical artists would you recommend me?

Code:
The band Ghost, listen to their albums side to side I guarantee you'll find at least one which will be so catchy u won't stop listening

Ohhh Ghost! I just put them on before I started typing this, the song “Chapter 8: Kiss The Go-Goat” is playing, and they are very catchy. My sister’s boyfriend and my friends who live by them saw Ghost last year and are all obsessed, so I have decided you’re 26-32 now just based off those friends. No idea what other kind of people listen to Ghost, but at least I know you’d probably appreciate going to a show with them, and it’s important to me that I can have my friends get along especially when I’ve got a lot of people to talk to at parties. Knowing u can hold your own is good. Also you said u though, and I don’t know many people my age and older who use u besides me, so maybe you are actually under 25, whom knows, we will see.

What TV shows did you grow up watching? If you didn't watch TV, movies or books?

Code:
Dragon ball, had the 42 small tomes and I cherish them.

Wew what a rollercoaster I have just been on, micool. First, I thought maybe you spelled “times” wrong, but giving you the benefit of the doubt, I Googled, “42 small tomes,” because I was like, “Maybe that was a terrible TV show name in the 90s, we don’t know.”

It was NOT a TV show, so next, I was like, “okay, maybe 42 tomes?” but that didn’t help. Then “Dragon Ball 42,” and that took me to 42 volumes. So then I was like, “Ooooo maybe it French for volumes?” and then lo and behold, yes. So I would have guessed you were Canadian even if you didn’t make it obvious above. We have learned that during this question, as well as learned that I am not the best Google searcher.

Do you cook? If yes, what's your favorite thing to make? If no, what's your favorite thing to order?

Code:
Yes, anything but my favorite move is keeping my meat juices or broths and keep them to prepare some super sauces for ribs or stuff.

I feel like you have to be older than me, because I just laughed about “meat juices.” But heck yeah, keep those meat juices and broths for super rib sauces. That sounds dope af. You’re very mature and think ahead about food, so I really appreciate that about you already. I don’t know how old you are though so I’m really hoping the next questions help out. I don’t trust myself with these guesses anymore.

We're already best buds in real life. We've got the night free to do anything. What are we doing?

Code:
Play Guitar Hero, singing and trying to play the drums all at the same time.

Okay, at this point, if I wasn’t like 99% sure you weren’t living in Canada, I would think you were my friend Austin who straight up loves Ghost, playing Guitar Hero, and idk I’m sure he keeps meat juices for ribs. Seems like something he’d do. So this answer brought you back up into like aged 28, maybe? Or no? I’m so nervous. I also haven’t played the drums on the game, so that’d be interesting. Does anyone who isn’t 25+ even player Guitar Hero anymore? Is it still a bit thing for the young people??

How do you say, "I love you," in your first language?

Code:
Je t'aime

merci

Rank these social media sites in order of which one you use the most (1 being the most, 5 being the least, 0 being you don't use it): Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, LinkedIn, TikTok

Code:
1-Facebook 2-Instagrame 5- Snapchat 0- the others

If I still had Snapchat, I would basically be the same (I have LinkedIn but I’m not about that life). So this makes me keep you around 26-29. I want to say 28, but I also don’t want to be wrong, so.

Give the image url of a meme you'd send me.
https://imgur.com/a/2Z3YZv2 (Since work places could consider this NSFW and I'm sure some people are reading this at work, I will say wait to click until it is safe. It's not v bad, but like, your co-workers would be confused.)
Micool, plz. Don’t sexualize Pepe like this lolol. I am so disturbed. Idk what to do with your age about this. What do I think? I’m so scared.

SHLer #2 Guessing
Bilbo’s Guesses:
How old is micool132? 28
Where is micool132 from? Canada
How well would we get along in real life? IGNORING the meme because I refuse to do that to Pepe, I really wanna try this super rib sauce, so I guess we’d have to get along somehow. I wasn’t into Dragon Ball Z, but I know plenty of people who were, and idk, u like hockey and the same things one of my fave groups of friends does, so u’d fit right in.

Real Answers
This is the part where I asked micool to give me the correct answers. My answers have not been altered.
How old is micool132? 30
Where is micool132 from? Canada

Bilbo’s Final Thoughts:
I was v close and just didn’t want to guess closer to 30 and have you end up being 20 and me feel sorry for myself. Feeling pretty good about my answer, and thank you again for participating. Micool? More like SoCool.

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SHLer #3: Anonymous
I wonderrr who this could beeee. In the original survey, I said people could leave the username part blank, but then of couse, bc I’m really smart, I kept this part a required fill-out section, so this person wrote, “It has to have something it’s required smh bilbo. Guess Smile

” and just based off how I know @Jepox acts, I already guessed this person is Jepox.

Favorite NHL team and why (without saying "I grew up in *insert city*")?

Code:
Leafs. My mom

Yes, this is Jepox. Canada boi.

What bands or musical artists would you recommend me?

Code:
Hmm I don’t think we’ve talked music a lot but I’d probably recommend mostly whatever and you’d at least humour me.

A normal Jepox answer would be “ummm idk,” so this would throw me off my game real big, but Jepox and I also don’t talk music really - just memes and love mainly - so yeah, this is still him.

What TV shows did you grow up watching? If you didn't watch TV, movies or books?

Code:
Pokemon anything, read Percy Jackson, the rangers apprentice a ton. Don’t watch too Many movies really.

Hell yeah, Percy Jackson is my shit. Pokemon was also a fan fave in childhood. I don’t know what the Ranger's Apprentice is about, but I see that it’s a book series. What a lil nerd, Jepox. Jk luv u, and I hope you didn’t see the Percy Jackson movie. I mean, jk, what Percy Jackson movie? There wasn’t one. Or a second one. Also, if I didn’t know Jepox’s age, I would be guessing like 16-20 right now, even though I didn’t read PJ until I was 17 but.

Do you cook? If yes, what's your favorite thing to make? If no, what's your favorite thing to order?

Code:
Not really no. Give me some pizza any day of the week

Jepox, plz.

We're already best buds in real life. We've got the night free to do anything. What are we doing?

Code:
Leafs Wings game but also roasting marshmallows

Lmaoooo. Did you reference roasting marshmallows because we all talked about it once? Slightly burned marshmallows Are okay. Hope u agree, but you probably don’t, because the consensus was that all the Canadians were offended and all the people from the states were like, “Sure, why not.” To be fair, I boast a mean golden marshmallow. And yes, I would gladly go to a Leafs vs. Wings game with you (if you’re paying, because those game prices are no joke) and just internally scream the whole time with fear of losing. Sounds like my normal night in or out.

How do you say, "I love you," in your first language?

Code:
I love you

ily2. Not to be dramatic, but I would die for Jepox.

Rank these social media sites in order of which one you use the most (1 being the most, 5 being the least, 0 being you don't use it): Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, LinkedIn, TikTok

Code:
1. Snapchat 2. Instagram 3. TikTok 4. Twitter 5. Facebook 6. LinkedIn

Can you send me the good TikTok vids so I can stay hip? Ty.

Give the image url of a meme you'd send me.

Code:
I don’t use images urls bilbo, I just dm you weird memes sometimes

If I didn’t know this was already Jepox, I would be able to confirm 100% just based off this sentence. And this is v true, you’re excused. Sent me enough memes for the rest of the year, probably (jk).

SHLer #3 Guessing
Bilbo’s Guesses:
Who is this? Jepox
How old is Anonymous? 18
Where is Anonymous from? Canada
How well would we get along in real life? Ignoring the parts where Jepox is very much trying to get me to guess him, there’s not too much to go on. I guess though, if someone were to say, “Hey, I know this person who loves Percy Jackson, wants to go to a Leafs/Wings game and roast marshmallows with you, and wants to start sending you memes,” I’d be like “hmm ok, tell me more.” That is just based off the answers, don’t get mad at me, ok, obvi ily.

Real Answers
This is the part where I asked Jepox if he was this anon. My answers have not been altered.
Just kidding. I didn’t ask Jepox if this was him because I know it is, but I did ask to confirm his age for my peace of mind before posting this.
How old is Jepox? 18
Where is Jepox from? Canada

Bilbo’s Final Thoughts:
I’m so far 2/2 on the anonymous ones and guessed micool pretty close. Wew. Here’s to hoping I don’t guess anyone wrong in the next part!

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Stay tuned for part 4 and thanks for reading! And for those who have been asking - the survey will open again after I've completed the other 23 people (I think) who participated, just to make sure I get to everyone.

*CementHands* · 11-10-2019, 03:14 AM

First of all bilbo, it's only 12:14 here, so I'm up, and atlas probably as well. And sloth and mxman.. I don't know many people here :(

Noble · 11-10-2019, 03:53 AM

I can't remember if I did this or not

***Citizen of Adraa*** · 11-10-2019, 05:31 AM

I demand a meme from Jepox right now, I feel robbed. @Jepox

***HoltzFan10*** · 11-10-2019, 01:07 PM

beautiful, still wanna be part of this :eyes:

efiug · 11-10-2019, 02:00 PM

yo this is cool, i wanna do one :(

ej27 · 11-10-2019, 03:14 PM

Quote:Now that everyone on the SHL besides probably flam is up and/or still sleeping, I'll post this.

...up and/or still sleeping. Is there some other alternative? Tongue

bilbo · 11-10-2019, 09:08 PM

11-10-2019, 03:14 AMCementHands Wrote: First of all bilbo, it's only 12:14 here, so I'm up, and atlas probably as well. And sloth and mxman.. I don't know many people here :(

I'll be your friend, CementHands, u can know me. And yeah I was very tired and sometimes when I don't see people talking in a locker room when I'm tired, I'm just like, "that's it, everyone must also be ready to pass out." hahaha

11-10-2019, 03:14 PMej27 Wrote:
Quote:Now that everyone on the SHL besides probably flam is up and/or still sleeping, I'll post this.

...up and/or still sleeping. Is there some other alternative?

You could be only JUST about to sleep!! lol. That's what my brain decided at that hour anyway. Laughing

bilbo · 11-10-2019, 09:10 PM

11-10-2019, 03:53 AMNoble Wrote: I can't remember if I did this or not

u did not, I just checked.

11-10-2019, 02:00 PMefiug Wrote: yo this is cool, i wanna do one :(

tysm.

11-10-2019, 01:07 PMBoucherFan12 Wrote: beautiful, still wanna be part of this :eyes:

tyvm.

You can alll do one soon enough! Ty for caring/wanting to give me money in a way. I'll be looking through the comments section once I finish the rest and will reach out. Cheers