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Toivo · 12-18-2019, 10:10 PM

This is something I recently covered on my last podcast. A great gift would be a Monkey’s Paw. It can be a replica so that no monkeys are hurt, unless there is some jerk monkey that needs to be de-pawed (only joking). A monkey’s paw would be one of two things, either: 1) a source of magic via some voodoo, or 2) a good conversation piece. Even if a monkey’s paw doesn’t have magical capabilities, and I’m skeptical that they aren’t magical, then you at least have an item that will scare others into thinking you can curse them. This will help police the goons of the league, they’ll think twice about taking a cheap shot if they know I carry a monkey’s paw in my back pocket. That’s the main item on my list, the other things include a cool shower curtain and an airfryer that I saw on TV. I know I should have bought that airfryer when I saw it, but I was hesitant, and now I want to airfry on Christmas day.

kuschy · 12-19-2019, 05:38 AM

For Daniel Kuster, the biggest Holyday Wish is - a visit of his parents during the Christmas and New Years Days. Byside the Games during this Time, it would be nice to spend some time with the family, have dinner on Christmas Night and Celebrate the Birthday of his Mother. Daniel's parents are still not sure if the could come to Colorado during these days, because it's not so easy to travel from Switzerland to Colorado. There are no direct flights and there is a other child they should visit during the holydays and new year. But maybe there will be a surprise as it was last year, when his parents attended the Christmas Game from Colorado, and Daniel didn't knew it. He was so excited, when his parents visited him after the Game in the locker room - and maybee, his parents will have again a good idea to surprise their son.

DaftRaincloud · 12-19-2019, 08:35 AM

Jonas Larsen is a simple man with a simple christmas list. He isn't the kind of guy to and ask for the hot ticket items of the season. He doesn't want to sit down christmas day and after plucking the bow off of the package with his name on it and working his way through the wrapping paper, scotch tape, and cardboard box be faced with some expensive watch or big shiny ring. Nor does he want to come down and after drinking his morning coffee and standing around his kitchen in an open faced bathrobe without underwear for a few hours facing the street-side window walk out into his driveway and see a brand new car sitting with a bow on top. No, Jonas really has just one simple item on his list and that item is not something that will break the bank or require opening a new line of credit to purchase.

*Flowseidon* · 12-19-2019, 11:10 AM

Since we all know how much @Grapehead loves grape juice and all things grape, I will be giving him a few pounds of grapes, some grape juice, a grape coloured sweater, and of course a nice purple pride jersey (Jeff Brogen#9 for him of course. I might even be nice and sign it for him).

While I know he isn't actually a grape fan, Christmas is definitely a time of year to torment friends and make them go through far too complex of a wrapping scheme and making them work for minimum of 10 minutes to get to your present.

For me, I am hoping that Saint Nick brings me some milestone TPEs and a couple of Izzydogs to keep me through those cold thunderdome free nights over the holidays where people are too busy interacting with their *ugh* families to get in petty fights about things occurring in our beloved sim league

Grapehead · 12-19-2019, 11:29 AM

Jingle bells
Eggy smells
Izzy laid an egg
The S-H-L has gone to hell
and the Steelhawks broke the sim, HEY!*

All I want for Christmas this year is to win a playoff series. S51 is my 16th season as the GM of this franchise, and to date we've only won 3 playoff games across 3 playoff appearances. Doesn't look good. Sure we've had some bad luck, and that's why I'm wishing for a Christmas miracle! How joyous would it be to wake up Christmas morning, and see your team sitting in a playoff spot? How great would it then be to win 4 games in a series? Once you win 4 games in a series, it's not a long jump til you're winning 8 games in a playoff run, and then 12 (or god forbid 16). So ya, I'm wishing for some Christmas magic, to bring me and my team the momentum we need to build a Championship run off of. Help me Santa Claus, you're my only hope!

*DISCLAIMER: All claims of sim breaking are unfounded and unsubstantiated.

acdangel · 12-19-2019, 01:07 PM

Sasha Dangelchek is a simple man with simple pleasures. He likes to remain humble and unassuming, and so he doesn't want much for Christmas. Why, when Sasha was a lad, he would play with cardboard boxes and construction paper! The man has the imagination of a Walt Disney and can make a gift out of anything.

That's why, this year, all Sasha wants is a 150 foot yacht. It need not be fancy, maybe just a helipad and an extensive staff. A hot tub on the back deck would be nice. Gold is super tacky, so all the fittings would have to be platinum. Dangelchek would like sleeping room for at least 20 people, so he can have his teammates aboard. It would be docked in Monte Carlo, naturally.

Is it too much to ask for a yacht for Christmas? This is the conundrum that Sasha - a man of simple tastes - finds himself in. He thinks Santa Claus will be reasonable and realize that it really isn't too much to ask, but who knows? With 86 hits roughly halfway through the season, Sasha might find himself on the naughty list instead of the nautical list. Puns are fun.

TheHockeyist · 12-19-2019, 01:17 PM

Igor Volkov would rather you gift him something for New Year's, as he's not too fond of Christmas. Nothing personal.

For the New Year, Igor's been thinking of replacing his skates, as they've been somewhat falling apart on him and the blade is starting to wear off. He did fall on the ice once in practice and busted his helmet recently, but no damage done. He does think he voided the warranty, though. He's also been considering getting a more detailed chemistry reference, as it seems that he's been forgetting some of the minor chemical elements, and those pages were lost a long time ago - the textbook was from the 1980s or 1990s.

As for what Igor would gift someone else, he's been looking at his old friend @SpartanGibbles, and offered to buy him a new set of skates and jersey for the new year, shipped from Russia. He just hopes he's okay with it being a potential New Year's present, though.

StadiumGambler · 12-19-2019, 04:21 PM

Gifts that Nick Brain would like to receive:
-A better laptop that could help Nick in his perpetual quest to increase the resolution of Dan Hibiki kicking everyone's ass in Street Fighter
-Good-quality beef jerky.
-The legendary hockey stick known as the CCM Goalie-Killer 3000
-Fresh set of high-durability razors, as shaving 5 times a day tends to make costs run up quite heavily.
-A better quality cell phone and internet provider to enhance online gaming quality/prank calling Mike Izzy quality

Gifts that Nick Brain is giving to his teammates:
-Dual wielded Canadian RK9 sawed off shotguns for Commander Shepard, who needs it for hunting aliens or whatever he does in the offseason.
-Manscaping shave kit for Slip McScruff, to get those hard-to-reach realms of body hair.
-Fresh mortadella, olives, foccacia, and prosciutto for Calogero Crudelli (who has to be Italian, I mean come on, look at his name).
-A bottle of vintage blackberry wine for retired ex-teammate Jason Visser.
-A dinosaur plushie for Cassius Darrow and Jules Watt.
-A cane for San Fran Pride forward Cleo Green.
-A brand new car for his parents, Martin and Jolene Brain.

*CementHands* · 12-19-2019, 04:26 PM

Karl would really like to recieve a four-star cup this holiday season. Additionally he has made up a list for holiday gifts for a few members who tickle his fancy:

@sailingdrumstick and @adamantium
A brand new fondue set to commemorate the best line in the SMJHL!

@charlieconway
A Canada Goose parka, because Winnipeg is cold

@FinnRhys
A framed, autographed picture of our s49 DACH championship team

@slothfacekilla @TheDangaZone
These adorable plushies: NOT PORN
And a bottle of kraken rum.

@Flareon @Citizen of Adraa
A special special version of the Raiders holiday calendar, except every month is me and I only have a bow and small present to make the pictures pg. It's very tasteful.

@mxman991
The Raiders C. I know this isn't mine to give, but can't think of a better gift Smile

@BadWolf
An authentic Chinese knock off blues jersey. I'm saying Tarasenko is spelled wrong, C on the front, nice shades of green and orange throughout. This thing looks so bad it's almost as if it was intentionally mauled.

@JR95
A nice pair of fuzzy socks, and a crate of pork chops!

@Steelhead77
The spiciest meatball I can find. Hopefully the cooling works and it isn't mouldy :(

@Rublic
A bottle of Papi Van Winkle Bourbon. Because of reasons. I definitely didn't see that posted earlier it is merely a coincidence

And a merry festivus for the rest of us!

***golden_apricot*** · 12-19-2019, 04:43 PM

Okay christmas is a great time of the year but one thing we dont talk enough about is how great it is to get some new socks for christmas. Man do i hate having to go out and buy my own socks and by the time december rolls around i really dont have many complete pairs left. More than half of my socks are mis matched pairs that are kinda the same and some i just stopped caring about all together and have like a grey sock with a blue on and some shit. But Chirstmas time family will get me socks likely as a last resort present. Socks are super great and everyone should be blessed with a new pair each and every christmas. So there are a bit more words I need to type out and socks are really not going to cut it so lets just say that the people who want underrwear for christmas are the real gross one on the planet.

***hotdog*** · 12-19-2019, 05:34 PM

I'm in more of a giving mood right now but I don't have the power to give these people what I want them to have. So instead of wishing for these things for myself, I'm going to wish that this things get conferred to the people listed here. for Dick Clapper @5ympathies i wish for him to score many goals next season and snipe like crazy. For Manuel Gotze @Mavfatha I wish for him to score many goals next season and get lots of hits as well. for Rafe Ulrich @Raven I also wish for many goals next season and, indeed, many hits. For @StamkosFan he already has lots of goals but I will wish for him to get EVEN MORE goals; same thing can be said for Anders Christiansen @NorwegianDemon who I hope scores many goals next season. For Slap McShotty @bbjygm I wish for him to win all of his faceoffs and also to score many goals. For Boris Poroshenko @The__Y-man__100 I wish for him to beat up and crunch several fools on the ice and also to score many goals. And for Gordie Boomhover @gordieboom I wish many goals. I hope that Jakub Bruchevski @JaytheGreat scores many goals as a young pup for us next season! I will do the assists. I would also like to add a few more names to my list, starting with Guy Zheng and Perry Morgan @goldenglutes @Flareon, both of whom I hope score a ton of goals next season. I've noticed some recent changes to my friend Maximilian Egger @Moosecop and I think and hope that he will score many, many goals next season. In addition, I hope that Ensio Kalju @jRuutu scores many goals next season and continues to be our toughest fighter. Last, and certainly not least, I hope that Johannes Leitner @"AndrewWarren13" stops letting the other team fucking score goals goddammit.

BDonini · 12-19-2019, 06:13 PM

Lallo Selman opening his gift from Daniel Bischoff, a blue french terrier puppy

*traphag* · 12-19-2019, 07:41 PM

Alex Petrenko doesn't need anything for Christmas. He's a boy from Russia who gets to play his favorite game for money while living in the United States of America and enjoying the wonderful California weather. Alex has family he loves back home and teammates here in the states who might as well be as good as family. Needless to say, life is good. He knows, though, that people get joy from giving gifts and some of those people might like to give him something. He really doesn't have much need for material things given that he can buy himself whatever he wants these days. However, he does enjoy the gift of memories and currently plays for a team based in Anaheim, home of Disneyland. A kid at heart, Alex is quite fond of the happiest place on Earth and has already been there several times during the offseason. A season pass to the park would go a long way for Alex, and some teammates willing to ride Space Mountain and the like with him would be even better. So if you're thinking of Alex this holiday season, that's an idea.

chetib · 12-19-2019, 08:52 PM

Tibuk is a pretty down to earth goalie. Even though he makes millions each season he donates large portions of his wealth to worthy charities and helps out wherever he can. So this year for Christmas all he asks for is help, yes you. For a small donation of $54.99 you too can help Tibuk help the needy. There are people out there who have no food, no water and not even a TV to watch Tibuk's amazing saves in 4k HDR. For your donation you will received a game used towel which Tibuk will PERSONALLY sweat on just for you. You can even choose the amount of sweat you would like your towel exposed to. This year give the gift not just to Tibuk, but to your fellow humans who are struggling to get by. Also please make sure your cheques don't bounce, that really sucked having to track you down and give you hell for doing that...you know who you are Dodgy

Velevra · 12-19-2019, 11:26 PM

Christmas is coming and Akira Ren is hoping one of his teammates gets him a gift he has been waiting a long time for. A Nintendo switch with his favourite game Fire Emblem Three Houses! Fire Emblem is very popular back home in Japan and all his friends are talking about it. However due to his busy SMJHL season Ren hasn’t had a chance to play yet. He hopes someone will get it for him so he can play on the long plane rides. He isn’t sure what house he would want to play as though. He likes the Blue Lions because he plays for the Lethbridge Lions but he also likes the Golden Deer the colours of his SHL team the Chicago Syndicate. He also likes the deer in Canada. The Black Eagles are less appealing, but he likes their leader Edelgard. If he ends up liking the game he might also end up getting for his favourite Smeb – Parker Smeb.

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