Login

caltroit_red_flames · 12-23-2019, 02:32 PM

Let me tell you since moving out of his parent's house Brady's ability to cook has gone from cookie dough and eggs to sous vide'd porter house and risotto. Today he's going to be making his household famous spaghetti and meatballs.

You start with three cloves of garlic and an onion. Chop up both, saute the garlic in olive oil and then put the onion in with it. Once you've done that add some tomato paste and really let the onion soak in the flavor for just a few seconds, give it a couple nice stirs. Next add 2 cans of San Marzano tomatoes and stir them mixture together. Be sure to crush the tomatoes against the side of the pot so we don't end up with huge tomatoes swimming in our sauce. Add a sprig or two of basil and let it sit for about an hour until it's a deep red. Take out the basil and drop in the nicest unsalted butter you can find, about 3 tablespoons, along with salt and pepper to taste. And there you have it. The best red sauce you will ever have. I'll let you guys figure out the how to boil spaghetti noodles and cook meatballs.

*puolivalmiste* · 12-23-2019, 02:50 PM

Björn Leppänen has always loved hunting and fishing. He does not only do it for thrill of the hunt but for quality meat and fishes to bring to his table. He learned to cook game he found in Finland at very young age and is very capable of doing so in either on kitchen, grill or open fire. He often smokes his fishes and sometimes some meat with good results but that is not all he can do. Anything on the side of the meat isn't exactly his specialty but he is still capable of making some vegetables and usually potatoes to go with the meat as it is common in Finland.

Something he really can't do is any kind of baking, though he has never really tried as it just does not feel like stuff he'd like to do. Though he is capable of mixing most of the common drinks like vodka and milk, vodka and sprite or whiskey and cola, those never fail.

*slothfacekilla* · 12-23-2019, 03:31 PM

To say that Jimmy Slothface is a disaster in the kitchen would be an understatement. Who could forget the time in Halifax where he almost poisoned his roommates Perry Morgan and Dom Montgomery when Jimmy attempted to cook them both a meal. If you don't remember that, let's just say that basically nothing went right with that meal and everyone is lucky to be alive.

Jimmy has slowly been trying to get better at cooking so that he can surprise his boyfriend Olivier Cloutier, but it really isn't going well. Even with a handful of paid classes (including private sessions in case that would be more helpful) Jimmy is pretty much the worst chef of all time. Whether it is having to worry about burning his house down or poisoning his guests, Jimmy is still pretty nervous when he gets in the kitchen.

What Jimmy has gotten good at is heating up pre-made nutritious meals that the New Orleans Specters helped him pick out. The meals are delivered multiple times a week to Jimmy's house, pre-portioned, and all he has to do is heat them up! It can be a struggle to do even that, but so far he has not burned his house down. The meals are focused around Jimmy's training so he hopes that not only will this simply his cooking responsibilities but also be a great supplement to his training.

*NorwegianDemon* · 12-23-2019, 04:34 PM

Anders Christiansen is a decent cook, and by decent, he means that he can follow a recipe and get a decent result at the end. Anders doesn’t mind cooking for himself but cooking for other people stress him out a little, so he tries to avoid doing it. The meal that Anders enjoy preparing the most is sausages. He learned it from his mother who made them from scratch when he was little. Anders was really intrigued by how his mom prepared them and began to assist her in the sausage making when he was seven years old. Anders also enjoy making sandwiches. Last year, he decided to buy a panini press so he could make toasted sandwiches. His favourite sandwich is composed of steak slices, cheese, green pepper and onion. Anders enjoys kebabs and his lucky to have a kebab shop run by a Turkish family down his street in Boston and he goes there at least once a week.

161 words

Narconis · 12-23-2019, 04:37 PM

I may be the world’s worse cook. I also just kinda hate it, so I have never been motivated to really spend a lot of time learning. I somehow have managed to screw up spaghetti. When I am home alone, my meals are always pre-packaged. Another big hit for me is frozen pizza. I have this thing called a “Pizazz”. It’s a countertop pizza maker that works quicker than an oven, but also cooks it BETTER. There are so many good frozen pizza’s now that the options are endless. Luckily for me my brother loves to cook. He’s also good at it. So mostly I just throw money at him for ingredients and then he does all the cooking. It’s a mutually beneficial system. We’ve also started doing Blue Apron a few times a week and that is AWESOME. It’s a bit pricy… but the food is always good and it usually introduces us to foods we normally don’t have or recipes we hadn’t considered.

Words: 165

Mook · 12-23-2019, 06:12 PM

Creller has never been known for his skills in the kitchen. Much like on the ice, he just slams and hits everything until it resembles food. His specialties include Mashed potatoes, mashed carrots, mashed turnips, butternut squash soup, and a very delicate chocolate souffle. For some reason, the souffle is the only thing that Creller takes seriously in the kitchen, and there is no real reason why. He never baked it with his grandma or mom, he just tried it in a restaurant one day and loved it. That made him want to learn how to cook it, after watching hours and hours of tutorials on youtube, he finally mastered the art of the perfect souffle. He has been featured on magazines such as country living displaying his masterpiece. Someone mentioned that he should be able to make a cake since he can make a souffle, but the only way it turns out, is if he makes it into a trifle.

*Ferda* · 12-23-2019, 09:43 PM

This holiday season, ya boi BIG WANGER was in the holiday spirit and decided to cook a grand 'ol meal for the Armada gang. Being inspired by the famous, MaFuzzy Chef aka Serge Ibaka, I took it upon myself to treat my teammates to a nice healthy meal and a good substitute for all of that turkey and stuffing which would have been bad for the playoffs. So, I followed one of MaFuzzy Chef's greatest recipes, "Bif Pennis", and used all of my effort into cooking the biggest and meatiest feast possible. I assumed that the boys liked a little toughness, so I decided to leave it a bit undercooked for the boys because nothing screams team spirit like a little toughness to your meat. No need to be worried about catching any diseases because professional athletes are obviously better at combating sickness. Gotta fight for those gains right? Anyways, all it takes is a little bit of my secret ingredient, salt and pepper, to round out the natural flavors that come with "Bif Pennis" because it has an inherent savory taste that keeps you cumming back for more. I know the boys will like it and you will too. Maybe at some point, the boys will finally recognize that BIG WANGER is a master chef and has a refined taste as a culinary artist after he's done dominating the SHL.

DeletedAtUserRequest · 12-23-2019, 09:49 PM

|

|

|

|

bana · 12-23-2019, 10:55 PM

I would say that Hiro Fujikawa isn't the worst but isn't the best in the kitchen. It all depends what he's doing, where he is and what's going on. While he's home for home stands or during the off-season, he girlfriend does a huge chunk of the cooking as she's extremely good at it. HOWEVER, there are many, many times when he has to fend for himself and find ways at making his tummy less grouchy because Skip the Dishes has been feeding it for the last few nights. Well, let's be honest again here for a second. A lot of the time on the road while they do eat out almost always (why the hell wouldn't you? You're visiting all these great places and cities. Try new shit. See the city), there's also times where they get a place, do an Air BNB and do some cooking. Typically, it's the older players on the team and Fujikawa has brought some Asian love to the the table. Typically, it's a few of the others who are really amazing at cooking.

Fujikawa can cook some good Asian dishes that his grandma used to make when he was a little lad. Other than that, he can cook anything and at times it can be a gamble. Pinterest is quality shit lads and should surely be on your phone. It's a handy way to have tons of shit at the finger tips of your left hands. Recipes out the ding dang. Until next time - Chef Fuji out.

Julio Tokolosh · 12-24-2019, 12:15 AM

Julio is really into the hotdog diet. Not like Phil Kessel, though, Julio likes a boiled kosher frank, served on a slice of white bread and four or five stripes of ketchup. Meal planning is easy for the week because Julio's pot can boil, like, 12 hotdogs at a time. Each is decorated with the ketchup and bread after boiling and then kept in or around the fridge until they are ready to be consumed later in the week. Julio's burps don't smell too good, but that's just a new advantage on the ice, filling the opposing crease with steamy hotdog breath.

On a more serious note, here is an easy dish to prepare to impress your health sensitive lady friends, or guy friends that dont like lukewarm hotdogs.

baking sheet wrapped in tinfoil
oven on high broil
3 small broccoli stalks (cut so near the florette (then cut in half vertically), should fill in 1 layer a baking sheet.
broil broccoli until florettes are charred (~18 minutes. shimmy every 6 minutes for an even crisp).

in a small mixing bowl:
5 oz olive oil
5 leaves of basil (or 10 shakes of a shredded basil container)
3/4 tsp of kosher salt
1/4 tsp ground black pepper
1/4 cup pine nuts (toast on a frying pan ~medium/low heat for 5 minutes)

once the broccoli is charred, put in a large mixing bowl and then pour the small mixing bowl over the broccoli and stir. add lemon to flavor.

***Leafs4ever*** · 12-24-2019, 02:19 AM

I've always loved getting in the kitchen and cooking. It calms me and I feel really comfortable cooking. I've become a big fan of the gif recipes that are all over the internet so I've taken to cooking lots of those in my spare time.

I used to, and still do, watch a ton of shows on the food network. I picked up a lot of verbiage and technique from watching the chefs on that channel and I use that in the kitchen all the time. I follow recipes when I cook, especially something I haven't made before. It helps me control the situation when I have a set list of ingredients and instructions while I cook. I could free wheel, and sometimes I do, but when it's a more complicated dish I like to have that recipe handy.

I love cooking and I have cooked for my teammates a lot as well. I like to host dinner parties once a month at my place and they have all seemed to enjoy those dinners as well.

(176 word)

Guy Incognito - D - #24
Texas Renegades
Season 76
15-6-0
Regular Season - [G 2] [A 3] [Pts 5] [+/- +6] [PIM 10] [Hits 12] [SB 38]
[Image: ERs3IrD.png]

**OrbitingDeath** · 12-24-2019, 10:29 AM

As Vorian Atreides is all but a kitchen prince, he decided to cook for one of his friends in the hope to surprise her. Unfortunately it did not go as well as expected and he decided to explain what happened in the following song.

If you know the melody you can probably sing along.

I feel so unsure
As I look at the recipe and start with the flour
As the onion dies, a tear in my eyes
Throw all I see in the cooking pot
And all its sad good-byes
I'm never gonna cook again
I have no idea what I am doing
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
Should've known better than to serve this dish
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna cook again
The way I cooked for you
Time can never mend
The food poisoning of a good friend
The food was overcooked
I have overlooked
There's no comfort in the truth
Puking is all you'll find
I'm never gonna cook again
I had no idea what I was doing
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should've known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been…

As you can see things did not go as well as planned and you can not just throw all the ingredients in a cooking pot and hope this will become an actual dish. For the next holidays, Vorian has decided to go for take out next year. No more cooking failures for him next year. Even after 10000 of years alive, some people just should not be in the kitchen and leave it to those that will not end food poisoning other humans.
Disclaimer: No actual ingredients were hurt during the creation of this dish. In the end nobody died (yet)

Mavfatha · 12-24-2019, 10:42 AM

NSFL PT

*fishy* · 12-24-2019, 12:31 PM

Hernadivic can't cook for shit, and frankly, cooking isnt even remotely important to him. Why does he need to make himself food when he can just live off the Nespresso machine he got for his birthday recently? Americanos, espressos, lattes, cappuccinos, you name it, Hernadivic drinks it. All you need in life to keep yourself going is caffeine, why ruin that with food? It doesnt make any sense. Americanos in the morning with a dash of milk and a wee bit of sugar, some espressos mid-day to keep him going, top it all off with a latte at night to put him to sleep. You fools are all living in the past. Who cares if he's giving himself early onset Parkinsons and treats his Nespresso like its some LOTR type shit, thats his precious and nobody is taking it from him. Food is such a 2010s thing, get with the present day coffee diet u boomers.

XLeafer · 12-24-2019, 12:32 PM

Austin Roenick does not know how to cook and if he did one day, he would have burned the whole house down. This is normal because a high class chef like gordon ramsay once burned the house down so that is alright for Roenick. Roenick does not know how to make a cereal. He puts milk in the bowl before the cereal so that is a big oof. Roenick tried to make rice but he made small rocks because it was not even cooked properly. Roenick once tried to make noodles and it became mashed together for cooking it for too long. Roenick is possibly the worst chef in the world that he cannot make something which a 5 year old can make so yeah, he is a terrible chef and did not make anything good but is a very good hockey player and that is all that matters for him. So yeah, lets not bring up the whole cooking thing because that is bad.

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us