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jRuutu · 01-07-2020, 05:30 AM

1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

I´m going to games 1 and 2 in Edmonton, fairly easy option really as a neutral viewer, Edmonton is a big hockey city while Hamilton is more known for their show and tell events that bring everybody together. All about the atmosphere, finals in Edmonton sounds like a great time. Either way, I´m not going to spend money on anything too crazy in the games. The older I get I have started to value privacy a lot more, so first thing is to buy seats on both sides of my seat and make sure they are empty, so I can watch the games in peace.

Second thing is more off the ice, I want to sleep in a igloo, because I have never done so and SDCore is paying for it. Finally I would like to eat the typical Edmontonian foods, so I will be visiting as many high end places as I can and comment on how the food tastes like shite, basically going to act like a tool the whole time even if I secretly like the food. (170)

5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Well, I´m getting regression treatment once again, preparing for that mentally and physically has been something I have been doing lately since off-season started earlier than we all hoped in New England, drinking a lot of various fluids and eating well - basically relaxing and taking it easy. After the regression treatment naturally comes recovering from it, that involves drinking various fluids and eating well. I have been thinking of traveling little bit at some point, would be nice to visit a country I have never been in, like Croatia or Hungary.

Heard good things about Croatia and I believe Hungary and their language is a distant cousin to Finnish. At some point comes training camp and I of course need to start working out well before it, so the actual training camp wont be a total pain in the ass, the coaches in New England are hard on you if you turn up out of shape, which is weird - why call it training camp if you don´t want to train people? (171)

6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)

Karlstrabe Scholz from Edmonton is a talented defender, season 46 player, so he is still pretty young, during the ongoing season he had 37 points in 50 games, I think he has enough talent and potential to win the Scott Stevens award some day. This year he played next to dominating Tor Tuck, but for example on the powerplay Scholz had 17 points - only 1 less than Tuck who in the end had a whopping 60 points in the regular season, if and when Scholz takes even bigger role in the Blizzard blueline when it comes down to making plays happen and being the main man in his defensive pair - I reckon Scholz will win Stevens. Small - could be his physical play, but the modern game is not all about physicality anymore. (132)

7. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

I think SHL needs to put more focus on trying to get everybody under the same roof, a forum where everybody visits to chat and talk about the league, their favorite teams and players. At the moment it feels like the most heated conversations happen off the main site, they happen in other forums, in various messaging platforms like Discord for example. That is not good for business, how is anybody going to know the league is popular if the main product has very little actual conversation going on directly next to it?

I believe the main reason why the site feels bit slow when it comes down to conversations is the over sensitive censoring policy put in place, in a humorous way, the people who voted for tighter rules on what is ok and what is not ok to say - they are not using the forum that much these days, who wins here? Nobody. Chatting happens off the site in little clicks and groups while the actual SHL site works as a place to keep up with statistics and schedule. (175)

10. Graphic OR Written, 2 TPE (100 words min if written)

Gatorade Rage.

A new Manhattan Rage themed Gatorade beverage is available! Drink that gets you in touch with the animal side deep inside of you. The main ingredients are strawberry and salty liquorice. Start with always so nice strawberry, oh my god how delicious and then boom - the salty liquorice jumps in, the salty liquorice pushing through is like a Bull running around when it sees red. Almost like sweet and salty are dancing in your mouth. Take couple sips of the Rage and it wakes you up in the morning like nothing else. Despite strawberry being one of the main ingredients, the drink is not too sweet and there is no added sugar, so all-natural! (108)

18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - MSG SENT

*Katth* · 01-07-2020, 06:02 AM

Task 3 (3 TPE)
Both the cities Edmonton and Hamilton are pretty run down and both have a problem with homeless people. So the charity they are going to pick is not hard. They are going to raise money for homeless shelters in either city.

During the games there will be people standing near every entrance of the arena with donation boxes and even Edmonton has promised to give away 10% of their ticket sales income to the charity. Hamilton has dedicated a total of 2 million Dollars already up front and will also donate another 100.000 Dollars for each goal they score in the finals against Edmonton.

A day after both teams announced they were going to raise money for this charity the SHL has also decided to host a gala in honor of these events for their shareholders and partners. All of that to raise money for the homeless shelters in both Edmonton and Hamilton.

Task 5 (3 TPE)
During the offseason Barry Batsbak is looking most forward to his vacation. He and his girlfriend have booked tickets to go to Asia this time and enjoy the nice warm weather, culture and food that Indonesia has to offer. First we enjoy a week with the family at Barry's parents farm in Battleford, Saskatchewan. Have some barbecues, play some sports and games and just enjoy spending time together. After that Barry and his girlfriend fly off to Indonesia and go on a tour that passes a few of the islands. Hike a volcano, a jeep safari, do some snorkling and perhaps even get some diving lessons. At the end of their trip they have a nice 5 star resort where they spend a week to simply relax before Barry has to go on training camp for the IIHF tournament. Something he is also looking forward too after missing out on a medal last year.

Task 10 (2 TPE)
In a new partnership deal between Doritos and the Calgary Dragons a new flavor of Doritos will be launched soon. Doritos Chicken Parmesan. This way the Calgary Dragons organization wants to give more awareness to chicken parmesan in a new and inventive manner. Tested and approved by all the Calgary Dragons players, this new Doritors flavor will hit the shelves in your local store soon. To make it even more fun, in each bag of Doritos Chicken Parmesan you will find a player card of one the players of the Calgary Dragons, collect them all!

Doritos Chicken Parmesan, Parmpidgeon approved.

Task 15 (5 TPE)
A. Between Tommy Tuck and Geezus Kryyst it's a coin flip I think. Both netminders have been amazing this season. During our series with Edmonton we weren't able to figure out Tommy Tuck when we were leading the series 3-2. Guy stood on his head and got Edmonton to the next round. I give the small edge to Tuck.
B. I think Edmonton should stick to their physical play. It's what got them in the finals and eventually it will wear Hamilton out. Can't shoot with high accuracy if you have sore arms or wrists. And even with a not that great PK, I think Tommy Tuck will keep them in the game.
C. I think the player to look out for in this series is Boruvka Banananak. He's often overlooked, but plays a huge role on the second line for Edmonton. He's second in points behind Tony Pepperoni and holds a great 17% shooting percentage. I think he's going to come up big in these finals.
D. My favorite name on both of Edmonton's and Hamilton's roster is Karlstraße Scholz. I know him from my time in Kelowna and we all used to make fun of our little Carl Street. I mean his name is just funny and that's why it's the best name on either roster.
E. I would rather eat a eat a pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni, because I just love pepperoni pizza! It's not the best topping that you could have on a pizza, but it's close to being the best. Italian salami would be my first choice of pizza topping, but I wouldn't say no to pepperoni.

Task 18 (3 TPE)
Message send.

S50 Challenge Cup Finals Game 7
[Image: gNFVjT6.png]

*Zoone16* · 01-07-2020, 08:37 AM

Task 4

As a goalie, Luca Del Vecchio is not allowed to play out of position but let’s pretend he could for this task. He would most likely play as a stay at home defenseman. Now why is that? Well Luca Del Vecchio is a goalie and goalies basically do shot blocking. He is well built so the physicality aspect would be present. The downside is that his skating is abysmal, something he must work upon in the off-season, so joining on the offensive rushes would be a dangerous task.
Another aspect to consider is that goalies tend to have great hand eye coordination, something that is a major strength of Del Vecchio. This would translate in great puck handling and a good ability to have for penalty shots. On top of that, being a goalie means that Luca knows how other goalies think. Mind games would be crazy between a goalie-skater against a goalie-goalie.
(153 words)

Task 5

With the Four-Star Cup finals now over, Luca Del Vecchio, alongside many other young Knights, has decided to stay in Kelowna for the off-season. After losing the finals in 7 games, the young Italo Britannic netminder will take a whole week off into the nearby woods alone. His love of hiking and camping began after moving to Kelowna and summer is the perfect season to go enjoy that.
The week after will be focusing on off-ice strengthening. With 3rd season SMJHL players able to progress to 425 TPE, sophomores progressing to 350 TPE, and many of the Knights veterans set to return for a final season, spirits and expectations will be high to go one step further than this past season.
In the meanwhile, the World Junior Championships and the IIHF World Championships are coming fast and Luca Del Vecchio has his sights on getting both playtime and medals in both. Needless to say, S52 will be a big season for both Luca Del Vecchio and the Kelowna Knights.
(169 words)

Task 7

My proposal to continue extending the popularity of the SHL (and SMJHL) would be to extend the ice surface to IIHF standards. The larger ice surface would benefit players of smaller stature and speedy forwards, elevating the game from a physical league to a skill league, and we know that dazzling moves sell tickets.
Allowing for a bigger ice surface would also promote seeing long stretch passes, board to board passes and kill the neutral zone trap strategies that have plagued smaller rink leagues over the years. Trust me, nothing is more annoying than a game stuck in the middle of the ice with no offense being generated by either team.
However, the town hall brought up a major concern with stretch passes in that it increases the risk of injuries due to players garnering too much speed and getting plastered by defensemen they did not see coming. Ultimately, it’s a risk I am willing to take but the league found this too much of a drastic change to proceed with it right now. Further studies in the viability of this change will be done before the next CBA.
(189 words)

Task 15

A.- Although Tuck has been stellar during the regular season, we are often reminded by expert panels, analysts, commentators and management that the playoffs are an entirely new season. So, with that in mind, the fact that Kryyst is riding a hot streak definitely shifts the balance his way. So not by much but I would give the netminding advantage to the Hamilton Steelhawks.
(63 words)

B.- The fact that the Blizzard has reached the finals using their physical style goes to show that the team has bought into the system. Sure they get more penalties but they are one of the few teams in the league that can compete with Hamilton in sheer numbers of shots. Once you get to the finals, you stick to what worked for you to get there. As such, Edmonton should stick to their style of play. Backing off will give too much space to the Steelhawks; space that the Blizzard cannot afford to give up.
(95 words)

C.- Usually, one sees the X-Factor as the person that will break the deadlock and score. This time I would say that the X-Factor is Karlstrasse Scholz and whether his ability to contain the high powered Steelhawks offense can keep the Blizzard in the game. This is going to be even more important when the Blizzard inevitably gives up a power play situation.
(62 words)

D.- It’s a close contest, but in my opinion the best player name on both rosters would have to be Al Kayhall from the Hamilton Steelhawks. At first it looks like a generic every day name. But then you start to pronounce it and you realize that his name sounds just like ‘Alcohol’. Sure there are some fun names, like Tony Pepperoni, and some crude names, like Hugh Jazz, but Al Kayhall stands out for being a subtle word play that works without being ‘in your face’ dumb.
(87 words)

E.- Of all these options, I would have to go with eating a pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni. I love pizza, and absolutely adore a good pizza. My logic with this choice would be that someone with a last name of Pepperoni would know what the best pepperoni to put on pizza is, hence enhancing the pizza eating experience.
(58 words)

Task 18

Sent PM to PT Director.

Task - Points - Status
T4 - 3 - DONE
T5 - 3 - DONE
T7 - 3 - DONE
T15 - 5 - DONE
T18 - 3 - DONE
Total - 17/16 - COMPLETE

Weretarantula · 01-07-2020, 09:37 AM

1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

Going to games three and four in Hamilton. That's a pretty obvious choice to make. Everyone will be there to make sure that the people who have been actively exposed at trying to rig the ice, don't rig the ice. I still can't believe they found potholes in the goalies crease right before the first puck drop. Anyway, I'm buying out all of the laser pointers in the nearby area to shoot at the Hamilton goalie. I can't even remember his name but that's not really important when I'm shining bright lights in his eyes. Anyway I think the commissioner's going to be totally cool with me throwing things over the boards and stuff while the game is running. Hopefully the netting will come down and make the entire series a farce and we will redo the entire season and playoff series. It's legitimately the only thing that I am excited about. Everything else about the place is dull.

2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

I would hope that in a different reality the Dragons have gotten into the final, won the series already and we are hoisting the cup right now. I don't know what other things I could put into this reality, as the best thing that could possibly happen has already been highlighted. But I guess I could also wish that Hamilton, Buffalo and Edmonton all missed the playoffs, subsequently all folded and relocated to other places with completely different people and the Dragons won't ever have to worry about them ever again. We could have beaten the opponents (whatever scrub from the east managed to get through, or all of them at once it's my reality I'll do what I want) 20789 to 0 too. That would be pretty cool. Maxime might actually get an assist that way too. Or three. Or nine hundred and ninety nine. Or all of those instances in all of the realities. It's my fantasy I'll do what I want.

6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)
Which player from Hamilton or Edmonton would you bet on to win a regular season individual award in a future season? What player and what award? What makes you think they'll live up to their potential and take home the hardware?
I think that Brady McIntyre is gonna be in line for the most points trophy in the near future. As one of the top TPE players in the league, I have no doubt that he can overcome the odds and beat the rest of the competition. Why? I'm not really sure, I have one of those gut feelings about the whole thing. Plus FHM will be a crap shoot to begin with and I feel like all the high end players have a good shot at it. The variety of stats will let players have a much wider opportunity of reaching the top echelons.

15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.
A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?
I think Tommy has more advantage in the series, and I also think that I'm probably wrong. Only because it's obvious that things have been completely one sided from like the absolute very beginning of the season. Seriously I don't even know how to answer half these questions without just saying what I really feelover and over again. But Tommy is a great goalie and I want a reverse sweep so why not, let's go Tuck!
B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?
Definitely keep hitting them. As many hits as possible. I don't even care about the score anymore. Blizzard aren't gonna win this series. May as well just attempt to injure everyone and keep them from ever playing again. Injuries are turned off in the simulator, uh I mean real life, but hell, let's try it anyway. Nothing else has worked so far.
C. Who is your X-factor skater in this series? Who's got the intangibles? Who's gonna step up for their team when it matters most? Why do you think so?
There is no one that I believe will overcome the outcomes of what we all believe to be inevitable. But, uh, let's go with Teddy Cuddles! Lovable gigantic teddy bear that will hopefully maul the hell out of the competition. He will use his gigantic maws to completely throw the competition through the glass and throw himself into the history books of S51.
D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)
Tony Pepperoni has cured meat in his name, what could be more cool than that? There are many different flavour forms of Pepperoni, and everybody loves different versions and variety. That's literally why it was developed, because different people like different things. Some people like to experience their team win in a fair playing field. Some people like to take advantage of things.
E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, © have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?
I will be choosing option A. Previously highlighted was my love of Tony's name, and I can only imagine what it would be like to devour his own kind with him. Cannibalism is dope. Never tried it before. And technically it wouldn't be human for me, so it would be just like eating everything else that doesn't count as cannibalism.

9. Written, 1 TPE
Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

Hamilton Steelhawks
You hate to see it come true
And yet here we are

18.
Sent.

17/16 eyyyyy

***bluesfan55*** · 01-07-2020, 10:11 AM

1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

Thanks Corey for stumping for my trip to Edmonton! I’m not going anywhere near the toxic cesspool that is Hamilton, as they’re known for having the worst fans in the league, so I’ll be heading for Alberta instead of Ontario. My agent spent a season with the Blizzard around 5 years ago, so I’ve heard nothing but good things about the organization and city. I’ve wanted to visit Edmonton for a while, so to finally be able to go there, and for free no less, was a no brainer. The Blizzard have a great team with some star talent, and I always admired Teddy Cuddles as a kid, so I’m really excited to see him play. And to run up Corey’s tab, I’m going to go wild in the city. I’ll be spending a lot of money on new clothes to up my fashion game and look nicer when I stride into the rink before games, I’ll go to only the finest and most expensive restaurants, and I’ll drink A LOT of expensive liquor. Us Dutch love our drinks.

8. Written, 4 TPE
Write a sonnet about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the proper ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG rhyme structure or your HS English (or equivalent any-language Writing teacher) will track you down in and give you a failing grade.

I’m sorry in advance, Dr. Mink

Hamilton cheats, Edmonton don’t. One team eats wheats, the other won’t. I like one team, the other I’m not so keen. The Blizzard are fine cream, Hamilton are big stinky peen. Teddy Cuddles is my dad, but I like Johnson too. I don’t care if I make Hallsy mad, his strategies are poo. This sonnet really sucks, and I really give no fucks.

15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.
A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?
Tommy Tuck has won a cup before. Geezys Kryyst hasn’t. Tommy Tuck has been one of the best goalies in the league for a long time. Kryyst is an up-and-comer with a bright future, but he hasn’t hit the big time just yet. Advantage - Edmonton. Tuck’s won a cup with them so he knows how to perform in the playoffs.
B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?
If I’m Edmonton’s coach, I back off on the physical play. If you’re playing a team with such a deadly power play like the Steelhawks, it’s not in your best interest to take penalty after penalty. I get that the Blizzard are a tough team, but reckless hitting doesn’t win you games. Backing off a bit lets their skill do the talking and keeps a red-hot Steelhawks PP off the ice.
C. Who is your X-factor skater in this series? Who's got the intangibles? Who's gonna step up for their team when it matters most? Why do you think so?
Teddy Cuddles has been a star in this league for a very long time, and Mr. Blizzard wants to go out with a bang. I expect him to be the best player in this series, turning it on when his team needs it most. He’s been clutch before, and I have no doubt that he can do it again.
D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)
My favorite name is, of course, Tony Pepperoni. I like pizza a lot and seeing the name Pepperoni all the time reminds me of the many pizzas I have had throughout my life. I bet you Pepperoni has a shit ton of pizza endorsement deals. Dude must be raking in the cash from having a sick name like that.
E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, © have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

I don’t want Wilson to leak my team’s fucking strategy, so I’ll have the Tuck twins tuck me into bed at night with a nice little bedtime story, preferably the Belly Button Book by Sandra Boynton. I’ll sleep well at night knowing that those two brick walls will protect me from nightmares.

10. Graphic OR Written, 2 TPE (100 words min if written)
The SHL is partnering with Doritos and Gatorade to create a unique flavor of chip and beverage for each SHL and SMJHL team. Create a graphic of the chip bag or the Gatorade bottle for any SHL or SMJHL team OR describe the flavor of chip or beverage for any SHL or SMJHL team. Make sure the branding is tight or it has a quirky name to get people to buy it #marketing

The Anchorage Armada are steaming in to your city, ready to raze it with their snipers scoring goal after goal after goal on your poor goalie and making their defense look like dust. Doritos created the Anchorage Blitz chip to celebrate this. The salty tortilla chip represents how your team feels after they play the Armada: angry because they scored so many goals on you. “Eat the Blitz to rub salt in the wounds!” The Anchorage Gatorade flavor is based off of their star goalie Ian Venables. Called Blocking Berry, this blue colored Gatorade inspires you to block anything life throws at you that day. “Block out the haters with Blocking Berry.”

6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)
Which player from Hamilton or Edmonton would you bet on to win a regular season individual award in a future season? What player and what award? What makes you think they'll live up to their potential and take home the hardware?

Sure, Dale Mills and Jax Duggan have proven that the Hamilton Steelhawks have a bright future, but no one exemplifies this more than Gabriel Johnson, who’s going to become a future Scott Stevens Award winner. Johnson’s been a fantastic two way defenseman who can rack up the points ever since his rookie season in S50, as he was by far the best rookie defenseman and was unlucky to come up against Mika “Carried by Lokitonov” Kadinsky in Jesster voting. Johnson had another strong season this year, and he’ll continue this momentum to become the best defenseman in the SHL. He’s got a great work ethic, fantastic offensive instincts, and is shutdown defensively. I see no reason why he can’t fulfill the immense potential he has.

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

KC15 · 01-07-2020, 10:52 AM

Let's get this rolling with 3 TPE from the PBE: PBE PT +3 TPE

#10 New Doritos Flavor 2 TPE

A new flavor of Doritos for the Halifax Raiders? Welcome to the newest sensation on the convenience store shelves – Doritos Grit. “Doritos Grit – not for the faint of heart.” Yes, ladies and gentlemen, finally a chip that lives the ethos of the Halifax Raiders; hard work and determination. And what embodies hard work and determination better than good old-fashioned sweat. Yes, that’s right folks, these chips have the salty, acrid taste of that elixir of long workouts on the ice in heavy pads, perspiration, but perspiration is for baseball players. Baseball players perspire. Hockey players sweat.

Buy Doritos Grit today and enjoy the bitter taste of success!

#4 New Role on the Team 3 TPE

It’s a shame Halifax was hit with the injury bug, but it happens to every SMJHL team sooner or later and every player knows the mantra, “next man up” so when the coaches came to Abel Skinner and said, “Son, we need you to leave the blue line and play some right wing today” Abel didn’t bat an eye.

In reality, Skinner earns his living as a defenseman, but he goes to bed at night dreaming of scoring goals and especially Cup Game 7 winning goals just as much as any forward in the league. That drive and urge to score is one of the reasons he’ll have no trouble stepping into the role.

That and his already high scoring ability (80) will serve him well. He can shoot, but he can also dip and dink with the puck with puck handling at 79. And his skating’s not bad either – no slow footed D-goon is Abel with his 70 speed.

#5 The Offseason 3 TPE

Abel Skinner, like all Halifax Raiders, leaves it all out on the ice. There is no holding back. Not for one minute of their shift, not for one game in the entire season. And during the season, he’s intensely focused. He doesn’t go out with the guys as much as others – he tends to spend the night in his room reading and thinking about the next game.

So, when the offseason comes, Abel is ready to relax. He’s ready to return home to his native Wales and just hang out with family and friends he has known all his life. Some of them got interested in hockey when Abel’s career started to bloom, but most don’t and that’s exactly what he needs after a long, intense season – people to hang with who don’t know the first thing about hockey and only want to talk about the Welsh national rugby team, darts, and which pub serves the best pint.

#8 A Sonnet 4 TPE

Apologies to the Bard for lifting from his opening sonnet to Romeo and Juliet (but it was fun and I maintained the original iambic pentameter)

Two juniors teams, both alike in valor,
In fair Halifax, where we lay our scene,
From old grudge break to rage’s red color,
Where blind loyalty makes fans’ hands unclean.

From forth the sharp skates of this pair of foes
A pair of net minders pour out their life;
Whose oft-sung impassioned saves overthrows
Do with their play bury their fans’ strife.

The fearful passage of their headfirst dive,
And the continuance of crazed fans’ rage,
Which, but their children’s end, nought could survive,
Is now the one hours’ traffic of our stage;

The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

#9 A Haiku 1 TPE

O Silent Skinner
Defender of line so blue
How noble your task

dylanjj37 · 01-07-2020, 10:54 AM

Task 5 - 3 TPE

This offseason is a going to be a shorter offseason than Daniel Bischoff is used to having. Normally, he gets a bit longer because he doesn't make it all the way to the finals of the SMJHL playoffs and he normally doesn't win the Four Star Cup. Daniel Bischoff already has some commitments this offseason as he he will be going to both IIHF for Switzerland and also going to World Juniors with Team Alpine. He is hoping to do well at both these competitions and they will eat into a big chunk of his offseason. He is also planning on taking the Four Star Cup back to his home in Switzerland and spending some much needed time with his family. As well as this, he also wants to spend as much time as possible with his amazing boyfriend Lallo Selman who he doesn't get to see a lot during the season because Chicago is a very, very long way away from Anchorage. (163 words)

Task 7 - 3 TPE

Daniel Bischoff has some very good ideas on how the SHL can grow their fanbase. At the moment he plays for Anchorage in the SMJHL and since his time there, the team has grown in popularity immensely. Part of this is probably because of Daniel and Augustus Wang's ingenious marketing plan. Augustus Wang came up with the idea of getting sponsorship from a company and so Augustus and Daniel signed up with SHLKush.com and started offering discount codes and promoting the company on social media. If the SHL were to do this, each team could have their own sponsor to help promote the league. For example, Edmonton could be sponsored by Dairy Queen and they could sell Edmonton Blizzards. Daniel has also come up with some other sponsorship ideas for the league such as the Buffalo Stampede who will be sponsored by Buffalo Wild Wings and the Hamilton Steelhawks who will be sponsored by the same people who sponsored the New England Patriots during deflategate. (165 words)

Task 8 - 4 TPE

Hamilton Steelhawks were all dirty fucks.
Tomen discovered that they had been bad.
When they got caught they just said "Aww, Shucks!"
The rest of the SHL? They were sad.

The league was in turmoil. What could they do?
A new engine was needed: a hard fix.
The problem was still in STHS 2.
Hallsy found a new one: FHM 6.

Now the tale has come to a happy end.
The testing team should get a lot of bucks.
Soon everyone got to be friends again
Except Apricot because he still sucks.

WT asked that I mention Kirkby
So here I am mentioning Rex Kirkby.

Task 9 - 1 TPE

My friend is Hotdog
He is the best PT Head
I would like more Teps

Task 15 - 5 TPE

15A. I think that the team with the advantage in goal is almost definitely the Edmonton Blizzard and this is because I have never heard of Geezus Kryst but I have heard of Tommy Tuck. Everyone knows that save percentage is the most important thing when it comes to saving goals so I think this will help Edmonton to win. (59 words)

15B. The Edmonton Blizzard need to stay physical if they want to have a hope of winning this series. The Hamilton Steelhawks are notorious for just shooting the puck All. The. Time. even when this is a bad idea. Just by pure mathematics if Hamilton are allowed to shoot enough they will get more goals so Edmonton need to take out the entire Hamilton roster. (64 words)

15C. I think FR Finn-Rhys is going to be the best player in the finals. FR Finn-Rhys is an excellent player and I have player with him before at the World Junior Championships and at IIHF where he is an excellent player. He has amazing defence which will be very important when it comes to stopping Hamilton shooting the puck all the time. (62 words)

15D. Teddy Cuddles is the player with the best name in this series. I think that his name is great because firstly the name Cuddles makes you just want to cuddle him and secondly teddies are super cute and everyone loves teddies. Teddy cuddles are probably the best type of cuddles you can possibly ever get so it is a great name. (61 words)

15E. Out of the options presented to me, I would most like to eat a pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni. Although I am not a big fan of pizzas unless they are deep crust because I don't like them too crunchy and I also don't like pepperoni, I would still like to have pizza with Tony Pepperoni because he seems like a cool guy. (63 words)

TnlAstatine · 01-07-2020, 12:31 PM

i'm right under dylan <3

1. Oh great here we go, I have best seats in the house to the absolute worst possible season and cup final in SHL history. I'll be getting drunk as fuck paying no attention to the asterisk cup this year. Honestly I probably wouldn't even make it to any of the games, just take out all the boys on a wild night out since the season was already done since the beginning. We all know it's gonna take some time to implement a full site wide change over to a new "system" and with only one season left of these cheaty mc cheat strats we have left (even if we have band aids for next season), If we get some kind of VIP treatment next season, EVEN if buffalo is in the finals, you bet your ass i'll be slacking again come this time next season. What a fucking slap in the face to the entire player base working their ass off for their team only to be shown up be some fucking cheaters. fuck hamilton and fuck this VIP treatment
+3

2.Well this one is easy. Obviously we go to one of the realities where cheating does not exist. For two seasons now we see the winning team be full of cheaters or people the skrt skrt the rules in however they see fit. First it was calgary with all their "oops didn't know" rules skrting and now its hamilton with LITERAL EXPLOITS. While we see hard working teams fall to the wayside. So obviously hamilton gets yeeted out of existence in the first round in this reality because besides tig that team is garbage and has nothing going for it except the 0101011010 code breaking ham strats. And then from there STHS would take the reins and probably somehow give toronto a cup. In this alternate reality we also see that everyone in the SHL is actually nice to each other and we all have decent heads on our shoulders, I know this is fairy tale land but we can all hope!
+3

6.Obviously the two choices here are tony pepperoni and tig murphy. I know tony had the most points in the season but i gott go with tig here, winning the best defencemen award. Not only would tig be a top player even if hammy didnt cheat, but he is a heart and soul guy and deserves it more than most people. There is no doubt in my mind that tig will have a long and prosperous career and he is just hitting his prime and carrying the team (even when they dont cheat) So in the non cheat season (s53) we'll see him be just as dominant.
+2

8.Me and dylan are gonna fuck.
Because nothing else in shl matters.
Goose is best, way better than duck.
Goose go honk and duck just chit chatters.

Dylan is cool and Dylan is sweet.
I bet he won't see this but maybe he will.
One time Dylan told me to show feet.
So I showed him but now I must kill.

I'm sorry Dylan but now you must go.
Back to where you came from.
I hope it's up high and not down below.
Don't worry either way I will cum.

Goodnight sweet Prince.
I'll make sure to Rinse.
+4

9. Me and Dylan are
The two best friends that will
never be apart
+1

15.C. Obviously the X-factor here has to be the hammy strats which brought them to a big old one whole loss (probably to simon T himself) for the entire playoffs. really great to know that people are allowed to cheat and exploit to win in this league. Excited for the next season with all our band aids LOL.
+1

16. My lights out for sure vote for series MVP has to be literally .... nobody. How can you pick a clear MVP for a bunch of cheaters? Actually scratch that I'll give it to tiggothy murphay. I can't explain enough how dreaded these days have been in the SHL and having to name an MVP in the asterisks cup is just another big fuck you in the sea of big fuck yous the SHL has been turning out over the last couple season. I could easily say without a doubt that without my locker room and home in buffalo I would not be in the SHL anymore, probably in the KHL.
+2

*thiefofcheese* · 01-07-2020, 03:11 PM

1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

TBD

2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

TBD

4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

I’m sure all forwards and defensemen are swapping for this and for 3 seasons now I’ve been asking the coach for 60 minutes of ice time and for some reason they keep telling me no. The best I’ve gotten @SpartanGibbles to agree to is that they’d tie me to the goalposts.

So, needless to say, I’d go goalie. Not because I have any amount of real goalie skill, nor that I think it’s easy, it’ll just be my time to really shine. 60 minutes on the great white ice would be sweet. I’m pretty good on my skates so that’ll help some and I’m decently sized. However, I’ll really have to work on my rebound control, but should be able to make some decent passes for those that I can control. I’m hoping that @Geekusoid can teach me a thing or two during his injury. Everyone knows I’m not producing while skating around the ice so can’t be much worse in front of the net, right?

Code:
166 words

5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Ivan is gearing up for his last season in juniors. While many of his counterparts are moving up to the big leagues this year, Ivan has decided to stay with the Outlaws for one more season. While he is looking forward to moving to Texas, there have been 3 seasons in the J that just didn’t pan out as they hoped and S52 is looking more promising than ever. Although he’s topped out skill improvement for the Juniors he’ll be hard at work trying to work with his teammates to build a cohesive team and help fill any role that’s requested of him. Between some of the senior teammates sticking around to this season’s rookies reaching higher levels and a new batch of rookies coming in, he’s got his eyes set on a deep playoff run.

And golf. You can’t play hockey and not play a lot of golf in the off season. It’s basically a requirement.

Code:
157 words

9. Written, 1 TPE
Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

No more need to pass
Passing is for losers, fools
Must win at all costs

18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max
SENT

*CementHands* · 01-07-2020, 03:19 PM

Code:
4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

Defense, all the way! I have a high defensive rating, and my only accolade is winning the WJC gold, and I played out of position in defense for that tournament. Mind you that was with the tournament MVP as my partner, so I think everything should work out as long as I get paired with an MVP Caliber player... so probably either Adam Barron, or FR Finn-Rhys would do nicely.
A few other peaces that would fit nicely as a defense, is I love to hit, so I can plaster those forwards on the boards, my shot has been getting better and better so I could just blast away from the point, and Karl loves his pasta. So, if he gains a few he gets a harder shot, heavier hits, it's really a win-win.
I suppose left wing wouldn't be too far of a stretch as I'm already a winger anyways, and it would give me more of an angle to shoot. (162)

Code:
5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Karl is looking forward to the WJC's this offseason, and his first step on international ice with the IIHF. He's feeling good about pulling on the new colors, Blue and Yellow, for the first time. He's always been interested in Sweden, and now that he's on the team the offseason might be a very good opportunity. Once those tournaments are all finished it's time for some fun in the sun! We're talking about wrestling meth heads and meth alligators. practicing leather working to make some nice alligator skin boots for my friends.
I suppose I could hit the training facility and get ready for my rookie season in the SHL, so I'll do a few laps in between punching alligators. work on my positioning a bit, speed and my silky smooth hands and watch out league, Karl's making noise!
Finish up the summer with some nude sun tanning to get these cheeks nice and toasty, and we have ourselves a wonderful offseason! (162)

Code:
6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)

Which player from Hamilton or Edmonton would you bet on to win a regular season individual award in a future season? What player and what award? What makes you think they'll live up to their potential and take home the hardware?

FR Finn-Rhys is going to be a top defense in the league for a long time, and I think he will start getting up there soon. He already has hardware in the form of WJC MVP and best Defense, and SMJHL top Defense. Those accolades are going to follow and continue to flow and before too many seasons are done, we will be seeing that name consistently among the annual nominations. Playing along side FR for a few seasons I was able to get a view into his talent and humility and those are the guys who go on to be exceptional. (102)

Code:
9. Written, 1 TPE

Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

HAIKU: https://poets.org/glossary/haiku

Steelhawks, far from home
Break the league, show no remorse
Their passing is low

Code:
15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?

B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?

C. Who is your X-factor skater in this series? Who's got the intangibles? Who's gonna step up for their team when it matters most? Why do you think so?

D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)

E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, (c) have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

A) Hamilton has the goalie advantage. Regular season means nothing other than getting you in the playoffs. After that happens it is all about getting hot at the right time, and staying hot long enough to endure the schedule. With that said, it's possible the Hamilton goalie cools a bit, and Edmonton heats up. Who knows? Only time will tell. (59)
B) You stay with what got you into the finals. Now is not the time to change things up and an aggressive hard hitting style with a lot of penalties got them here, so they need to live or die by their game, because if they change it up now they are going to take a punch in the teeth from Hamilton and may not recover. (65)
C)FR Finn-Rhys is the xfactor. He plays 3rd pairing minutes, so he is coming in fairly fresh. He is one season removed from being the best Defense in all of the SMJHL, so you know he has talent. And he already has 1 cup ring so he absolutely knows what it takes to get the job done. He is like a spring loaded jaguar just waiting to pounce, and Steelhawks might fill his appetite. (74)
D) Favorite name would have to be Al Kayhall. I was blown away earlier this season when the entire Raider LR realized at once that his name is a joke. I assumed they all got it right away (like immediately after draft right away), but either way it was a fun experience. He has it all, a legitimate enough sounding name, but with the twist that it could appear as a joke name in the Simpsons for crank calling Moe. (79)
E) Eat a pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni, ideally made by Tony Pepperoni so it is for sure authentic! I think this would be a great meal either out at a bar, or perhaps even pregame, but pregame might have some nasty burps on the bench. Nice long cuddle with Teddy Cuddle is definitely a close second. Cuddles are the best. (60)

Code:
18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?

B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard

C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?

D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S51 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.

Sent PM

Segi · 01-07-2020, 03:42 PM

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

I have not heard many good things about either of these cities, to be quite honest. Hamilton seems to get linked to crime a lot. Compared to that, the cold north Albertan weather seems preferrable, so I'll be watching games 1 and 2. I will be staying in the Fairmont Hotel MacDonald, which has its own restaurant, an indoor pool and high speed internet. So enough amenities to not have to get out in the cold weather. From and to the games, I will of course be driven in a limousine. There really does not seem to be much else to do in Edmonton. Among the top activities listed is a big indoor mall, which I might as well visit to let Corey buy me a new suit or two. If I really do feel like going outside, I might as well book a tour to see some aurora borealis. I have no idea how successfull those are, but I've seen a bunch of places make ads with it, so I guess the chances to see it, wouldn't be zero.

Code:
5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

The summer off season is always the time when Mathias Seger flies back to Switzerland to visit his friends and family. There will be lost of individual days planned going to different places all over the country to visit different people. There will also be many evenings spent in the local bars of his home town. He's looking forward especially to meet his little nephew again, who has already started walking and skating. Contract wise, this will be a very calm off season for Seger. He is signed for another three seasons to the Minnesota Chiefs. The new general manager he got, lets him look out positively to the new season and Seger hopes that the turmoils in Minnesota are finally coming to an end. So all in all this can be a stressless off season for a couple of weeks before he will begin training again. First with local teams and then back in north America.

Code:
6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)

Which player from Hamilton or Edmonton would you bet on to win a regular season individual award in a future season? What player and what award? What makes you think they'll live up to their potential and take home the hardware?

I am convinced that FR Finn-Rhys @FinnRhys of the Edmonton Blizzard will one day win the Scott Stevens Trophy for being the best defender in the SHL. Finn-Rhys is still a pretty young player, having created only in S49, but he is already a very good defender. FR is one of the best defenders on the current roster of team Switzerland and will continue to play an important role for the Swiss for a while. On the stacked Blizzard squad, he is only a depth player so far, but give it a couple of seasons, and he will show that he can be the next Tor Tuck for the Blizzard.

Code:
8. Written, 4 TPE

Write a sonnet about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the proper ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG rhyme structure or your HS English (or equivalent any-language Writing teacher) will track you down in and give you a failing grade.

SONNET: http://www.shakespeare-online.com/sonnet...style.html

It's happening between two teams
A final series played
They are quite good or so it seems
In this season delayed

On one side we have Edmonton
From the north so cold
They're playing against Hamilton
Who right now are quite bold

Pucks will fly and players too
While playing out the cup
Some goalies might be quite like glue
While some see goals add up

So Canada will quite enjoy to celebrate her sport
And other parts of this here world will end up once more short

Code:
15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?

B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?

C. Who is your X-factor skater in this series? Who's got the intangibles? Who's gonna step up for their team when it matters most? Why do you think so?

D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)

E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, (c) have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

B: Edmonton certainly should not shy away from their physical game. It has brought them to the finals and abandoning their strategy will not win them this series. However, they do have to be careful to take less stupid and unnecessary penalties if they want to stand a chance against Hamilton.

Code:
18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?

B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard

C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?

D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

message sent

StadiumGambler · 01-07-2020, 05:09 PM

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

Nick wanted to hit up Edmonton again for Games 1 and 2 to visit family, but ended up getting waylaid at the airport and, through a series of improbably wacky coincidences, ended up on a flight to Hamilton instead of Edmonton. As revenge, Nick Brain contacted his friend Damian Wayne of WayneCorp to hack into several databases in order to obtain a fresh Visa Card belonging to Commissioner Egghead. Armed with two credit cards belonging to SHL personnel, Nick went ham. (Literally, as he bought two smoked hams to share with his fellow luxury box guests.) Nick also bought a singing telegram for Mike Izzy to sing the most offensive limerick they could think of on his doorstep, and then bought a Samsung Universe S2160 phone on Amazon. (said phone was used to prank call Eggy and ask him if his water was running.) Finally, he sent Cassius Darrow a package containing genuine smoked German bratwurst, with a card attached saying "I hope you'll take a nibble of my sausage.". Overall, a great time at the Challenge Cup for Big Dick Nick.

---

Code:
2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

In one alternate reality, we got a future filled with glorious and hilarious dank maymays that SHL fans worldwide would find quite..... interesting.

In the West: San Fran actually shows up this season and makes it in as a Wild Card over Winnipeg's slot. San Fran beats LA in the Battle of Cali, but falls short against the Specters. Edmonton and Calgary play an eight overtime Game 7 that ends with the commissioner just saying screw it and declaring both teams to be losers. Aleister Cain breathes a sigh of relief, as he manages to avoid having another opportunity to choke in a playoff series.

In the East: Toronto finishes 5th, Manhattan 4th, NEW 3rd, Buffalo 2nd, Hamilton 1st. Toronto made the playoffs on the last day of the season, and improbably upsets Manhattan in the Wildcard. Toronto then pulls the bigger upset a week later, downing Hamilton in 6 thanks to a record setting 17 point series from Mikhail Lokitonov. New England beats Buffalo and then ends Toronto's dream in the Eastern Conference Finals.

With everything to play for, Joey K proves he is indeed the smartest guy in the room by scoring the game-winning goal in Game 6 to take his team to a 4-2 win in the Challenge Cup Finals. Ace sleeps soundly though knowing he'll probably get his win back someday. Aleister Cain sets a record for lowest save percentage by a Cup-winning keeper. Lil Manius takes home whatever the playoff MVP is. God help us all.

---

Code:
5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Nick Brain will spend his coming offseason doing some of the usual activities: Sharpening his skills at Street Fighter on various newbie Akuma players, intense and rigourous dryland training, eight and a half million dollar black magic rituals to remove the soul from a CCM piece of equipment and transfer it directly into his hockey skillset, advanced offseason workouts with convicted felons masquerading as personal trainers, the usual stuff.

Nick is a pending free agent, but he expects to stick around in Winnipeg barring untenable relations with the new General Manager, and has even bought a new house in Winnipeg with a small chunk of his lawsuit settlement payout from gossip media scumbags ZMT Sports. Nick does not want for money and could conceivably take a hometown discount to stay with the Jets at a bargain price (or at least a bargain by elite first-line center standards).

With all this money lying around, Nick can take the opportunity over the offseason to make some investments in beef jerky and eSports companies, as well as some charitable donations to the Save The Enforcers Foundation, a charity that features Nick on the Board of Directors. Overall, a busy offseason, but Big Dick Nick wouldn't have it any other way........

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Code:
7. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The SHL, trying to re-extend popularity among a fan base whose numbers have diminished this quarter, is hosting a town hall think tank right before the finals. It is a well-attended event, and many come forward with ideas to reinvigorate the league. What are some ways the SHL can re-ignite that flame with fans and soar to new heights of popularity? (don't you dare write about sim engines here, pretend this is a real life hockey league and answer it that way lol)

So not taking into account the sim engine stuff I'd have the following proposals:

-Remove the instigator penalty, which is dumb and stupid IRL and in this game. I'm firmly in the camp of fighting having a necessary role in hockey to prevent the stars from being cheapshotted and to let little agitators know that there'd be physical consequences for their actions. SHL doesn't have to worry about this, but seeing some ludicrous game misconducts for stuff like that is dumb and stupid. (I also wouldn't mind fighting having more of a role in our game as maybe a morale attribute booster but thats sim engine stuff talking so w/e.)

-Make $500k filler IFA contracts free, to increase cap space that teams have to work with, and enable more money to go to stars and free agents. (tbh I'm sorta tempted to have IFA skaters in general hit the bricks but thats just me. I'd also be down for a salary cap increase in general to allow stars to get paid more often.)

-Reduce penalties related to any non-dangerous checking. Let some more physicality happen without fear of whistles!

---

Code:
10. Graphic OR Written, 2 TPE (100 words min if written)

The SHL is partnering with Doritos and Gatorade to create a unique flavor of chip and beverage for each SHL and SMJHL team. Create a graphic of the chip bag or the Gatorade bottle for any SHL or SMJHL team OR describe the flavor of chip or beverage for any SHL or SMJHL team. Make sure the branding is tight or it has a quirky name to get people to buy it #marketing

Colorado Raptors - Prehistoric Punch, would be a blueberry, blue raspberry, and blackberry hyrbid with a strong aftertaste, darkish blue in colour.
Winnipeg Jets - Jet Fuel, would be a rebranded Fruit Punch because as we all know red is the only Gatorade flavour worth a damn.
Manhattan Rage - Ragin' Red Pepper, would have a roasted bell pepper/sour cream hybrid flavour, with a little bit of capsaicin added in for some heat. Packaging would feature the Manhattan Rage logo goring a pair of red bell peppers over a fire burning on both sides.
New Orleans Specters - Spooky Spice, would be ghost-pepper seasoning on a blue tortilla chip (that would look purple to fit in with the branding.)

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Code:
18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?

B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard

C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?

D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S51 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.

Sent

Trautner · 01-07-2020, 05:28 PM

Code:
1. PBE Point Task Affiliation, 3 TPE

http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/i...t&p=136874

Code:
2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

Wow in this parallel universe full of infinite possibilities and sequences, I think that a funny reality to explore would be one where New Orleans finally overcomes their postseason demons to win the Challenge Cup. It has been a long time coming for the Specters, who absolutely stormed the league to the Presidents Cup easily this season, but once again found themselves exiting the playoffs early, in the Conference Semi-Finals against the Los Angeles Panthers. Founding general manager Joe K has invested plenty of cash and time into constructing this roster, and to see the team at last hoist the Challenge Cup would be an interesting reality to explore. How would the SHL view expansion rules in light of the Specters finally achieving the postseason success they've arguably deserved? Would expansion rules feel the need to be tightened? Or are we leaving in a reality now where the Specters' success is simply brushed aside because of 4 games out of the season?

Code:
3. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The two finals teams have decided to team up for a fundraising opportunity to benefit both cities. What noble cause will the teams decide to benefit? What sort of fundraiser will the teams hold together? How will the two teams mesh before the finals start?

The perfect charity for the Hamilton Steelhawks and the Edmonton Blizzard to support would be the Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race for the Cure. The Pro-Am Fun Run raises money for research towards rabies, which was once a fearsome disease that had mostly been eradicated but was brought back in horrifying fashion in Scranton Business Park when a bat sunk its fangs into Merideth Palmer, a supplier relations worker at Dunder Mifflin. This charity obviously has strong roots and is cherished by Michael Scarn, who was involved in its founding and he held the first annual Fun Run in Scranton back when he was a branch manager at Dunder Mifflin. Now achieving his hockey dreams, Michael Scarn does not forget about his past, and would love for the SHL to come together to support a great cause to help defeat rabies once and for all.

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4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

An injury crisis in the playoffs is never a good thing, and the Buffalo Stampede certainly cannot afford to have an injury bug at goalie. With only two goalies on roster, and both of them having been involved in serious injuries after slipping on the ice because they both forgot that they were not wearing skates, the Buffalo coach motioned to the bench for Michael Scarn to head to the locker room to grab some backup goalie gear. As Scarn strapped himself up, he wondered if he had what it took to step up and play well as a goalie. His years of training on his speed and agility as a skater probably wouldn't do him much good. However, his elite footwork coordination from dancing and "Doing the Scarn" would probably be useful. Moreover, Scarn had good hand eye coordination from dodging bullets during his fights with Goldenface. Maybe if he tried to get hit by the puck, rather than dodge it like a bullet, he'd have a lot more success.

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5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Michael Scarn is looking forward to hunting down Goldenface. The dead speak! Goldenface has somehow returned and broadcast a revenge promising REVENGE against the Simulation Hockey League, and Michael Scarn is the only man who is up to facing off against the emperor Goldenface who has apparently been cloned or something. Scarn stopped Goldenface's nefarious plot to blow up the SHL All Star Game years ago, when he was but a normal secret agent who was brought out of retirement because Goldenface had humped Scarn's wife's dead body. Now, with Goldenface back, it was again personal, and this time Michael Scarn knew he had to save his teammates too who would be in danger. Teammates like Viktor Marius, Hippo Passamus, and Tatu Makela were all being held at gunpoint apparently by Goldenface, so Michael Scarn is going to have to find his way to the planet where Goldenface is holding them hostage by going on some weird treasure hunt of sorts.

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6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)

Which player from Hamilton or Edmonton would you bet on to win a regular season individual award in a future season? What player and what award? What makes you think they'll live up to their potential and take home the hardware?

I would bet that Aaron Wilson is probably going to win the league MVP award or whatever the frick it is called here in this league, maybe the Turd Ferguson award? Anyhow, Aaron Wilson will test day or night, 24 hours per day for 7 days per week to get the maximum efficiency and goal scoring possible for Hamilton and his player. Aaron Wilson is WannabeFinn's daddy because he owns him in all aspects of life as the alpha male, so it is only natural that I think that Aaron Wilson will one day be the top player in all of the SHL and become everyone's daddy in this league.

chetib · 01-07-2020, 06:40 PM

1. Written, 3 TPE
VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.) (Words 175)
All on SD’s tab eh? Well time to get down to business then! Arriving in Edmonton I might as well order a nice Alberta steak for dinner seeing as I am in cattle country or if I am going to Hamilton I will have to order…uhh crap google says top food is Fish and Chips, Hotdogs, or Pizza. Lame Hamilton. I will have to take a Limo everywhere right? No a Limo is too small, Party bus all the way. I should also get some new threads seeing as I am going to be in VIP, A nice suit with a high thread count should do the trick. Maybe a second in case I splash Champagne all over the new suit. Also on that same note I will be only drinking Champagne none of this sparkling wine crap. In the end I would probably spend all my time figuring out where to get this high caliber stuff that I end up missing the game anyway and have to pay it all back. Just my luck.

7. Written, 3 TPE
The SHL, trying to re-extend popularity among a fan base whose numbers have diminished this quarter, is hosting a town hall think tank right before the finals. It is a well-attended event, and many come forward with ideas to reinvigorate the league. What are some ways the SHL can re-ignite that flame with fans and soar to new heights of popularity? (don't you dare write about sim engines here, pretend this is a real life hockey league and answer it that way lol) (Words = 179)
Well let me tell you about this sim engine…Wait hold on the should read the rest of the instructions
Well let me tell you about S52 bobble heads. These bobble heads are going to be something out of this world and something I think the SHL should double down on in each arena. Now you may be thinking what is so great about bobble heads? Well I want to make these bobble heads 25ft high and of each teams current stars. Fans would have to travel around to get pictures with all the bobble heads (because you obviously cannot take them home with you). We can make it a challenge because that is all the hot thing on the Gram these days. If successful we can expand the idea and put bobble heads up around the city creating an even more lucrative way for local businesses to partner with their local SHL team. Yes I think the age of child size bobble heads have run their course and it is about time we move over to the adult market.

8. Written, 4 TPE
Write a sonnet about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the proper ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG rhyme structure or your HS English (or equivalent any-language Writing teacher) will track you down in and give you a failing grade.
Skates to ice and tape to stick
Pucks that clash and bodies that hit.
We start the dance with our clique
And fire away at each goalie’s mit

The players skate to make their pass.
The game it goes with such roar
The players they fly and move so fast.
And quick as a wink we have a score!

It’s almost done and players push
Hoping to score the final point
And not be left out on their tush
But only one will victory anoint

When all is said and done the champion shall be won
But who it is we don’t yet know but let’s all cheer for Edmonton.

10. Graphic OR Written, 2 TPE (100 words min if written)
The SHL is partnering with Doritos and Gatorade to create a unique flavor of chip and beverage for each SHL and SMJHL team. Create a graphic of the chip bag or the Gatorade bottle for any SHL or SMJHL team OR describe the flavor of chip or beverage for any SHL or SMJHL team. Make sure the branding is tight or it has a quirky name to get people to buy it #marketing

Due to recent PR problems with the Hamilton organization Frito-Lays has cut back their Steelhawks branding/sponsorship to just 1 of their products.

[Image: Hamiltons-new-sponsor.png]

9. Written, 1 TPE
Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.
Winning at all costs
We hate the SHL too
Love from Hamilton

18. Casual member Special - Sent, 3 TPE

BDonini · 01-07-2020, 07:36 PM

Code:
7. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The SHL, trying to re-extend popularity among a fan base whose numbers have diminished this quarter, is hosting a town hall think tank right before the finals. It is a well-attended event, and many come forward with ideas to reinvigorate the league. What are some ways the SHL can re-ignite that flame with fans and soar to new heights of popularity? (don't you dare write about sim engines here, pretend this is a real life hockey league and answer it that way lol)

In order to bring popularity back to the SHL, the league needs to tackle the problem that caused the popularity to drop in the first place. The Hamilton Steelhawks used performance enhancing drugs over the off season, they were PEDs that were not yet banned by the league and therefore using them over the summer was legal. The effects of these drugs are expected to last 2 seasons which dropped the popularity of the league. The reason just banning the drugs won't help bring back the popularity of the league is because the corrupt coach who forced his players to take the PEDs boldly claimed that if the league bans his PEDs, he'll just work hard in his chemistry lab until he finds new unbanned PEDs. If the league wants their popularity back they need to hit the source and get rid of the corrupt coach. When you have a rat problem, you call an exterminator. If you just restrict the rat instead of getting rid of it, the rat could end up causing other problems later on. The league has a rat, hopefully they exterminate it.

Code:
8. Written, 4 TPE

Write a sonnet about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the proper ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG rhyme structure or your HS English (or equivalent any-language Writing teacher) will track you down in and give you a failing grade.

Two candidates, aspiring to be general managers
One qualified, and one not so
It should've been clear that HO chose the best challenger
Choosing the other would've been Minny's final blow

In came Ruutu and C9, looking to start a fire
For they mistakenly disagree with HO's decision
Those who know Gibbles, know he's a choice to admire
As they understand that he'll build Minny with a vision

I for one am in disbelief he has doubters
When he proves them wrong I hope they'll apologize
Since Gibbles is in Minny there'll be no more downers
With those who are against him, I really can't sympathize

I just want some respect for @SpartanGibbles
And for my boy @dylanjj37 to have a team that will sizzle

Code:
10. Graphic OR Written, 2 TPE (100 words min if written)

The SHL is partnering with Doritos and Gatorade to create a unique flavor of chip and beverage for each SHL and SMJHL team. Create a graphic of the chip bag or the Gatorade bottle for any SHL or SMJHL team OR describe the flavor of chip or beverage for any SHL or SMJHL team. Make sure the branding is tight or it has a quirky name to get people to buy it #marketing

Code:
11. Graphic, 3 TPE

With all eyes on the finals for the highest TV numbers of the season, ad agencies like to put their best foot forward and feature SHL stars to advertise their product. Create a still-image advertisement featuring an SHL player advertising a new product. Include a player render, team logo, and a few words or a slogan about the product.

@golden_apricot

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15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, (c) have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

I would rather get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles(@"cpetrella"), because who wouldn't wanna cuddle with someone named Teddy? Like his first name is Teddy like soft teddy bears and his last name is Cuddles like "come here and cuddle with me"...what more can you ask for? His hugs are probably tight as fuck wow now I really want a hug from Teddy Cuddles.

Code:
18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

PM Sent

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