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H&M
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For some reason, and I can't figure out for the life of me why, but people seem to hate on hockey players all the time! I think it's hilarious that people are talking shit about us. You wouldn't say this shit at us, we're jacked, not only that but we wear the freshest clothes, eat at the chillest restaurants, and hang out with the hottest dudes. Y'all are pathetic lol.

Now that that's out of the way, New England is looking for their guy. Their boy. Their one mean machine, big body, huge head, player (in the sheets and the streets) eligible draftee that they can select fifth overall. The GM asked for my opinion and unfortunately, Cameron Carter II is apparently not eligible to be drafted, and I guess God McZ isn't either. That's too bad, but we aren't going to settle, there are a lot more good options out there for us to select. 

Now theres many different metrics that one can measure a player on. The common ones like activity, points, minutes played, how defensively sound they are, etc etc. Out here in New England, we don't care about that. We grabbed five of the alleged top prospects this draft class has to offer and stuck them all in an H&M that we had rented out just for them. We gave them each $100 and an hour to see what outfits they could all pick out. Before sending them off we told them whoever had the best fashion sense would be our guy (yea right lol) and of course to try their best because if they didn't I would shame them online. Now $100 may not seem like a lot, but this is 100 US dollars which is really like $700 Canadian, so for some of us on the team and some of the invitees, this was quite the haul. Me and a few others from the Wolfpack gang decided to join in because we're not going to say no to the team giving us even more money, are we. 

Now for those not in the know, H&M is a clothing retailer notoriously known for "fast fashion". And for those not in the know about fast fashion, well it's essentially clothes you wear and then quickly throw away. Fashion retailers think of it as clothing that follows current fashion trends at a rapid pace, showing up in stores quickly after being modelled, ready for people to purchase, but if you've gotten anything for H&M, that shit doesn't last and it's not a surprise considering its price point. I've got some nice things from there, like a denim jacket that I've worn quite a bit and some nice faded jeans, but I've also gotten some trash from there, like a t-shirt that starts to fall apart after a few washes. Regardless of all that, hopefully these prospects can find some gold in this pile full of garbage. 

Our first contender is non other then the future consensus first round pick, Simothy Drunkebird. Drunkebird is a power forward hailing from the Czech Republic, but don't let position fool you. He is on the smaller size, which in this case will help him out as it will be easier to find someone that will fit him well. He seems to have a good eye for fashion and is picking out some things perfect for the current season. With him he brought back the complete outfit. For only $25 he picked up a "nice" white fine-knit turtleneck sweater, skinny cotton chinos for $30, a black cashmere toque for $35 and finally to top it off a pair of smartphone compatible gloves for just under $10. $100 even, a true competitor. It's no surprise that he will be drafted highly. 

Second up is Cal Labovitch, a right winger from Sweden. He doesn't appear to be too familiar with H&M but nonetheless I'm sure he will put up a valiant effort. Right off the bat he picks up a seemingly high quality, faded light blue denim jacket, featuring a faux-sheared lined collar. It looks just like the kind that Levi's sells, except it's like a third of the price and also fake. With $30 left to spend, he picks up a knockoff version of vans. Not a complete outfit from him, but definitely some strong accompanying pieces. 

Third up in our little contest is Adam Scianna, the first defenceman of our group here today. Scianna originally is from Norway, but spent the last season playing with the Kelowna Knights and is definitely aware of the products that H&M peddles. He understands what he is here to do and picks up a NASA branded hoodie for $30, a pair of black joggers for $20 and then finishes off his challenge with a pair of chelsea style half boots with his remaining funds.

Just over half way through this little training exercise and us boys from New England are thinking wow is it easy to spend money at H&M, we should have given then more money to start with. There is always time to spend working out all of the kinks, however, and so we decided to shelve that conversation for another time and focus on bringing in the fourth contestant: Rhys Pritchard.

Rhys is originally from just over the pond in Great Britain, just like fellow teammate and judge, Guy Zheng. Unfortunately he played for Anaheim, impressively making his way to playing on the second line. He strayed away from the pack, not just buying winter-esque clothing like those before him. Instead, he made his way over to the Lunar New Year section of the store picking up a $30 sweatshirt with a Mickey Mouse print on it. To accompany his crewneck, he also snagged a $25 fanny pack. For the bottom section of his outfit, he finessed some black and gold joggers for the price of $35 and finalized everything for a $8 orange toque. The only one to not spend all the way up to the limit.

Last but not least we had another dman, this one by the name of Sven Yxkaft, hailing originally from Sweden. Playing for the Vancouver Whalers last season, he got a real look at streetwear and fast fashion in the city and he came prepared to win. Ignoring the fact that Vancouver had a large dumping of snow this past week, Sven walked straight past the winter isles and right into the spring favourites collection. He didn't want to show up with just one outfit, instead he found all of the items currently unwearable in this climate on sale. Tank tops for $2, shorts for $5 and t-shirts for $3. He did pick up one relatively expensive printed t-shirt for the price of $10, but it seemed as though he was just using our money to prepare for the upcoming months. It didn't matter if the shirts sold rapidly deteriorated if you came home with 10 of them. His most expensive purchase was a pair of sandals for $20. 

This was an interesting exercise we did. It gave us a lot to think about, but after mulling over the results, we believed we had found our guy. We knew who we would select fifth overall at the upcoming draft and it had only cost us $500. 

Code:
2x Draft Media, WC: 1266

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Thanks to JSS for the signature


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