Hello all and welcome back to the final edition of carolina sports beat I'm stan savern and this will be our final episode as my colleague guy junker will be hanging up the microphone after we finish here today.


Well first up let's get to the action carolinas off season has brought some change team captin Phineas Gold had a chat with us following the announcement that he will be playing in the big leagues this upcoming season closing the book on his carolina career.

[Phineas] holy smokes it's all over here boys this is pretty surreal, it's been a hell of a ride that's for sure I'm going to miss going on benders with fitted no doubt and Reving these guys up in the locker room. I dont think it will hit me fully though until I'm suiting up in the bigs all my brothers down here are going to be sorely missed.

[Stan] Phineas this may be the first time I have ever seen you sober this is incredible I'm actually in awe right now you seem to be taking the proper steps to being a true SHL caliber star and you look stronger than I've ever seen you before what changes have you made since the offseason started.

[Phineas] well I stopped doing hard drugs and started doing adderall you know its kids meth and that's enough for me right now gotta make that big money now eh, also got a new motto forecheck, backcheck, paycheck and that's for the hunnies out there need to know phineas got that bankroll coming in right these days *winks at camera* .


[Stan] well Phineas it's been an honor keep up the good baseball play as well looking foreward to watching your career from here on out in the big show.

[Stan] that clip was from our interviews with kracken players yesterday as they cleaned out there lockers. As for the rest of the team Hope's are still high for a 3rd title in 4 years even if the experts say Vancouver exposed warts in the krackens playing style many still on the team say they would rather be underdogs because that's what fueled there 1st two titles. Many said after the 1st one they could not repeat as it was a fluke that they won number 1 to begin with but coach trella gave us a sound bite that begs to differ.

[Stan] what do you say to the people out there that say Carolina is done that the titles were by complete accident and a watered down league

[Trella] you serious right now my guy hope your wearing a red nose because you sound like a clown this teams been through wars we got guts in this room, you go tell your experts to put a egg in there shoe and beat it and when that's over they can go play footsies with there moms like the soft pillow talking pancake eating yellow belly's they are


[Stan] wow you just got me going trella is that the same way you motivates your players.

[Trella] fucking right sewer lips these boys need fired up they come in here soft young boys and it's my job to make them hardened men capable of hosting trophies we dont play that participation crap here were champions we hang fucking banners not tears *whistle blows* shut up maggots get out there for blueline sprints, now if you dont mind stan get the fuck out of my face I've got conditioning drills to run.

*back at the studio*


[Stan] tough words from the coach of the kracken you can really feel his burning desire to get number 3 which would out the kracken staff into elite company. It's going to be a tall task for this team to bring home number 3 but the more you check this team out there makeup and guts they do apprciate being underdogs so we may have a championship parade rolling down Carolina avenue again this seaon. But in other news Guy what do you call a pig that knows karate?

[Guy] a porkCHOPPPPP boom I'm back in the game stan 7 stints of rehab later and I'm changed man, I've studied this roster alot lately and I've come to the conclusion not much has changed Mr. Gold may be gone but honestly you just slide fitted and fiddler up a spot and this machine will be firing the same as always I caught up with Alexi Rykov after locker clean out day and he had this to say on the upcoming season.

[Rykov] I was score I am score will always be score and fuck the police capital KGB SCORE.

[Guy] no abla English good talking to ya cheif. That's the russian machine folks always great to catch up with a robot. Back to the studio



[Stan ] now it's time to go over this years draft *so we can get that easy double media lmao* the top 5 picks of this seasons SHL draft


Coming in at number 1

Simothy Drunkebird a clear cut franchise player a no doubter in my opinion a truly transformative player that you can build around for 10-15 years and give your club a shot every season at a title the pride have got to be ecstatic with this selection a player like this does not come around every year.

Number 2 this year

Cal Labovitch selected by minnesota potentially could have gone number one if it was any other draft that did not include simothy but unfortunately they share the same draft season look for cal to be up on the big squad in 2 years tops!


Number 3 and a controversial pick in this draft is Adam Scianna a great talent but also known for run ins with the law many were speculating where he would be taken and many thought much later than number 3 let's hope Texas made the right decision here.


Number 4. Rhys Pritchard..... Rhys what is he bread, of course he is because because he rises as he is baked a perrinaly player in juniors and midget scoring record holder for the national under 16 team this is a steal at number 4 toronto has there next start.

Number 5. Sven something giving new England what they need in that city another cheater. This guy plays dirty and is dirty heard he doesnt shower hats off to the players that share the locker room yins are the real mvps.


[Stan] that does it for this edition of sports beat peace out yins guys and keep holding it down for trella n fuzz the big homies out there laying down the law in the j handling bussiness staying caked up and never fronting for the peckerwoods duces!