"NVRGIVUP."

These are the letters tattooed awkwardly across the knuckles of local long-shot SMJHL prospect Tad McMinn, whose nebulous path to becoming the first professional hockey player from Bisbee, Arizona, reflects perfectly the fearless optimism and poor decision-making that is scrawled across his digits.

"There was no hockey team where I grew up. We didn't even have ice," reflects the physically imposing right wing. In fact, McMinn honed his skills rollerblading in the desert, using his grandfathers beloved pickaxe as a hockey stick, oftentimes using his patented wrist shot to protect his family's chickens. "Grandma would send me out in my rollerblades whenever the coyotes were howling. Usually shooting a tumbleweed top-shelf was enough to chase 'em away, but sometimes I had to slap a prickly pear right up their [behind]..."

Eventually, his skills attracted the attention of local sports agent, Jarby Crash. Mr. Crash, well known to Bisbee locals for his frequent and often violent clashes with local taxi drivers (see the Police Beat section in the Bisbee Observer for Sunday, January 19), saw something special in Tad. "The kid could snipe a rattlesnake with a pickaxe backhand from center ice, I tell ya."

But it was McMinn's dominant physical presence that really caught Crash's eye. "The way he skated around, lowering his shoulder and knocking his grandmothers chickens back into their pen, that stood out to me. He finished his checks. Not a single bird got past him."

It wasn't long before the agent secured Tad's first sponsorship, from Casa Ayahuasca Business Solutions Laundromat (to be featured in an investigative article in next week's Bisbee Observer). With that, Tad was able to acquire proper equipment, along with a chance to play with a real hockey club.

As a walk on with the Las Vegas Lilliputians of the Midget AAA Little People Hockey League, he had to fight for ice time, sometimes literally, impressing coaches with his willingness to stand up for his teammates with his fists against much, much smaller opponents. 

But McMinn, was no simple goon. He quickly earned a spot on the right wing of the Lilliputians top line, and by his sophomore season "Little Tad", as he was now affectionately known to the Lilliputian fan base, was named to his first All-Star game. He was amongst the league leaders in points and penalty minutes.

"Yeah, that was his big break," recounts Crash. "Which was good, because he really needed to play with grown-ups. Or not grown-ups, like, normal people. I mean, not like that, but big people. [Expletive], you know what I mean."

That's when Crash began sending tape to GM's of the more prestigious SMJHL. "I found them through a post on Reddit," he says. "Nobody ever called me, messaged me, or nothing."

Imagine his surprise, then, when he found out a week later that Tad had played in 10 games in the SMJHL Season 53 Prospect Tournament, posting 1 point and an impressive +/- -21. "At first, I thought he was trying to get out of paying me my ten percent. He's under contract for the next forty years!"

Tad has a different story. "I just kind of wandered in and before you know it, I was living my dream. I mean, I guess that's what happened. I really have no idea what was happening, to be honest. It's like I wasn't even there, but all of a sudden I have stats. And they're really bad. So maybe more like a nightmare than a dream."

In fact, Tad couldn't even find the Discord Stadium Locker Room, and was essentially estranged from his teammates. "I don't know what the heck was going on. My agent is supposed to be handling this stuff. I'm just trying to focus on my game, and maybe one day play in the SHL."

Holding up both fists in premature triumph, Tad displays the ill-advised inscription of bad vanity license-plate condensed lettering emblazoned across his knuckles, before repeating his mantra out loud.

"But I will NVRGIVUP."