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The REAL S52 Four Star Cup Champions
#1

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In honor of bidding Simon farewell, I have decided to take it upon myself and redo the S52 SMJHL Playoffs with a method that is about as solid as Simon’s simulations. 
S52 SMJHL Playoffs Based On Their Mascot
Round 1

For the first round matchups, we have 10. Halifax Raiders versus 7. Kelowna Knights and 9. Anchorage Armada versus 8. Newfoundland Berserkers.

Knights versus Raiders: So, a knight is “a man who served his sovereign or lord as a mounted soldier in armor,” versus a raider, who is “a person who attacks an enemy in the enemy's territory.” Both are quite similar, but I give the edge to the knights, as they have armor. The 7. Kelowna Knights advance to the second round!

Armada versus Berserkers: We have an armada, “a large group of war ships” against berserkers, where “in premedieval and medieval Norse and Germanic history and folklore, [was] a member of unruly warrior gangs that worshipped Odin, the supreme Norse deity, and attached themselves to royal and noble courts as bodyguards and shock troops.” Apparently, Berserkers were similar to Vikings in Nordic folklore; they were very skilled and dangerous warriors. However, I still don’t think they are any match for the armada, which most likely originated about five centuries later, by a Spanish naval invasion force. The Armada will simply be more modern, more lethal, and much bigger. The 9. Anchorage Armada defeat the Berserkers and advance to the second round!

Round 2

For second round matchups, we are left with 9. Anchorage Armada versus 1. Detroit Falcons, 7. Kelowna Knights versus 2. Carolina Kraken, 6. St. Louis Scarecrows versus 3. Colorado Raptors, and 5. Vancouver Whalers versus 4. Anaheim Outlaws.

Falcons versus Armada: I think purely out of the size difference, the number 1 overall Falcons are going to fall to the Armada. A massive fleet of war ships should easily be able to defeat a group of falcons. The Armada, just a lowly 9 seed, have been clear favorites thus far. 9. Anchorage is moving onto the third round--the semi-finals!

Kraken versus Knights: The kraken is a “legendary cephalopod-like sea monster of gigantic size in Scandinavian folklore.” In other words, a giant squid monster. According to Norse tales, “the kraken dwells off the coasts of Norway and Greenland and terrorizes nearby sailors.” The giant kraken should have no problem killing a group of knights due to its size advantage and murderous tendencies. “According to stories, this huge, many armed creature could reach as high as the top of a sailing ship's main mast. A kraken would attack a ship by wrapping their arms around the hull and capsizing it. The crew would drown or be eaten by the monster.” Even if the Knights travel by boat to reach the Kraken, it will probably just drown them. 2. Carolina advances to Round 3!

Raptors versus Scarecrows: These two mascots are pretty self-explanatory. If the raptors were indeed crows, perhaps St. Louis could impose fear into the birds. However, raptors “have keen eyesight for detecting food at a distance or during flight, strong feet equipped with talons for grasping or killing prey, and powerful, curved beaks for tearing flesh.” Destroying the motionless, unthreatening scarecrows will be an easy feat for Colorado. The 3. Raptors move onto the semis!

Outlaws versus Whalers: Here we have a relatively even matchup. Outlaws are people who have broken the law and are on the run, possibly wanted. If these Outlaws were known for murder and were in hiding, that could be pretty dangerous. On the other hand, whalers are people or ships engaged in whale fishing, which can be done with harpoons. If the Whalers were chasing the Outlaws with a harpoon gun, I would imagine there would only be one victor, but perhaps the outlaws can evade the whalers for quite some time, seeing as they are used to hunting massive targets. In the end, I give the Whalers the edge. The last team, the 5. Vancouver Whalers, join the semi-final!

Round 3

In our penultimate matchups, we are left with 9. Anchorage Armada versus 2. Carolina Kraken and 5. Vancouver Whalers versus 3. Colorado Raptors.

Kraken versus Armada: The matchup we have all been waiting for! The giant sea squid monster beast versus the war ships. This is tough because surely the kraken would be able to take down a singular ship, but a whole fleet? This is a large challenge. The armada must have some powerful weapons, yet the kraken is a mystical beast who probably has been summoned by Satan himself. On the sole term that it probably has magical powers of sorts, I give the nod to the kraken. I would imagine this comes right down to the wire, but the kraken is too powerful! 2. Carolina Kraken advance to the Four Star Cup finals!

Raptors versus Whalers: Here is another interesting matchup. The whalers are obviously humans with weaponry, while the raptors are dangerous birds of prey. As I have already mentioned, the whalers might be more used to hunting larger targets, and the raptors may simply be too fast and too agile for the weapons they have. All this considered, it’s now 2020 and the whalers have probably updated their weapons and will modify their weapon choices for this matchup, leaving the raptors almost no chance. The 5. Vancouver Whalers advance to the Four Star Cup finals!

Round 4

Kraken versus Whalers: Well, well, well… the giant sea monster versus the sea-beast hunters! This is the perfect showdown for the Four Star Cup trophy. Whaling has been around for thousands of years, so they have mastered the craft of defeating sea beasts. On the other hand, the kraken is a legendary creature that could still exist to this day, lasting for hundreds of years. It is widely known as the most terrifying of sea monsters. Are the whalers up to the task? They have great weaponry, but I can’t see any way that this giant beast is going to be killed.

Congratulations, Carolina Kraken, you are the TRUE S52 SMJHL Four Star Cup Champions!!!

 
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#2

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#3

I'd counter argue, that Whalers are used to using harpoons and going after large targets.

Outlaws are smaller and more evasive by design.
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#4

outlaws win again, good to see

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#5

Outlungus
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#6

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That ain't no bird

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Jean-François Bokassa
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#7

03-23-2020, 04:24 PMLordBirdman Wrote: [Image: YpFgQPQ.png]
That ain't no bird



bird

 
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#8

I don't think the Whalers would be able to beat the outlaws. Yeah they have a harpoon gun, but if it is a single shot and they miss, the whalers will spend the next 30-40 seconds reloading their harpoon. On the Kraken side, I'd assume the Armada would be able to use depth charges and shit like that, so you'd probably have a lot of fresh calamari on your hands.

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#9

FAKE NE- oh, sorry, wrong thread. The facts check out, carry on

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Aleksi Kettu
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