This cannot be happening. I cannot have coronavirus.

I break out my Nintendo Switch, turn it on, and boot up Animal Crossing.

I’m met with the familiar sound of the New Horizons theme song, which I have heard countless times from rewatching the preview videos and trailers on Youtube.
Tom Nook makes an announcement. The Museum is complete! I fist pump, remembering all the bugs, fish, and fossils I gave to Blathers in my old New Leaf village on my 3DS. I still miss that village.

The first thing I do when the game loads is break out my net and catch a butterfly nearby. A common butterfly, not worth many bells, but it completes one of my Nook Miles plus special tasks for the day, which nets me (no pun intended) double the miles. I’m off to a good start.

Dom is running around outside the Resident Services building. He puts his head down and Naruto-runs in random directions, with seemingly no care for the trees and flowers in his way. He's a male sheep, so he has horns… is that why he runs? Or is it because his personality is that of a Jock, one of the eight types in the Animal Crossing series?

If I were a villager, I’d be a jock. After all, I do play…

I cannot have coronavirus.

Every day, a bottle washes up onto one of the several beaches in my village. Inside the bottle is a DIY recipe that allows me to make some new piece of furniture or equipment. I scour mine, catching a couple of hermit crabs along the way. One thousand bells a piece… why not? I need all the money I can scrounge up to pay off my loans to Tom Nook.

Finally, I spot it. The letter accompanying the recipe reads like it’s from a villager in a far-away town; they write that they were up all night working on the recipe, and decided to share it. Incredibly kind of them, I think. The recipe is for a Bamboo Basket. I learn it, and my player character strikes a pose in celebration.

I break out my in-game phone and check the Nook Miles app. My phone next to me rings at the same time, I write it off as a coincidence. I ignore it. I see that one of the double-point tasks of the day is catching five fish, so I exit the menu and switch out to my fishing rod.

My first cast is in the river, where I see the small shadow of a fish just south of my village’s one bridge. It bites, I reel it in, and it’s a Bluegill! Nothing I haven’t seen before, but I’m just happy it’s not an old discarded can or some other garbage item.

There’s furious knocking on my door. I ignore it. I cannot have coronavirus.

Next I switch over to the west beach. I cast the line out again and it lands with a *plunk* just in front of a large shadow. It’s very large, in fact. My guess is that it’s a Sea Bass, or a Football Fish.

I wonder if there’s a Hockey Fish. I think back to my time playing, my teammates…

No. The fish bites, and I click A to reel it in with perfect timing. The joycons shake… with great intensity, in fact. That signals it must be a big fish…

…It is! It's an Oarfish!

The fish takes up most of the screen. These babies sell for quite a lot of bells. Two fish down, three to go.

I remember that beyond the ocean and the river, there’s a third type of water body to fish from: ponds. Moving north-east deeper into my island, I spot a tiny shadow in the water of a pond on my island. The pond looks like an hourglass. I cast my line, and after three nibbles, I hook and reel in a tadpole.

The river is close-by, so I decide to fish there for my final two fish. A Black Bass (the most metal fish) and a Freshwater Goby. The Goby looks strange, like it has a large underbite.

More knocking on my door. The voice of one of my coaches sounds out loudly with clear notes of desperation. “Adam, open up!”

150 nook miles… not great, but not bad either. It’s all part of the process, and I enjoy my time here on my island. It’s peaceful, stress-free.

I decide it’s time to take a trip to a randomly-generated island via the Dodo Air Lines building to the south of my island. Before I can get there, I spot a balloon high in the sky. I love popping those! I take out my trusty slingshot and fire off a rock that misses. Readjusting my angle helps me pop it with my second, and a present falls to the ground.

It’s a hospital mask. I dig a hole and bury it. I cannot have coronavirus.

“Adam, there’s someone here to see you. We’re worried about you.”

One of the two dodos you meet in the game, Orville, is typing furiously on his keyboard. He goes through a spiel about offering the ability to leave the island on one of their small planes, and reminds me that I have a Nook Miles Ticket should I wish to use it.

I do. The game saves, the DAL screen splashes for a few seconds, and then I see I’ve touched down onto a mostly deserted island, with the other dodo, Wilbur, standing at attention. He tells me to catch some bees and chop some trees, then just stands there idly next to the plane.

This island has pears! Not my favourite fruit, but important nonetheless. Each player island in Animal Crossing: New Horizons has what’s called a native fruit, which grows in abundance from the start of the game. There are four other fruits that can be planted on soil, but they must be gathered elsewhere or received from a different player. In my case, however, my player character’s in game mom sent a letter that contained three oranges as a gift.

I had cherries. I got oranges from my mom. And now I have pears!

When’s the last time I spoke to my mom?

I cannot have coronavirus.

“There’s a doctor here to help you, Adam.”

More knocking.

When I start tackling a new island, I like to go task by task. I’ll start by shaking all of the trees to make fruit fall and weed out any wasp nests. Then, I’ll go tree to tree and pick up any fruit or branches that were shed by shaking.

Next, I’ll dig two holes diagonally away from a rock so that when I strike it, I don’t get moved away from it. That allows me to get all 8 hits in, which means more ore, stone, and clay in the long run. Four rocks an island every time, is what I’ve found. Never more, never less. Lastly, I shake and chop the four coconut trees found on the beaches, two per side.

Did I mention coconuts? I have those too. I got them from one of these islands a few days ago, when…

I got them and then planted them all over the beaches of my town. Great to collect in one go and sell them at the nookling shop. Foreign fruit sell for more than your native fruit, which is why I’m trying to get all five types of fruit on my island.

Anyway, with my inventory full, I march back to Wilbur and ask him to take me home. He says it’s fine, but that I need to be sure that I haven’t left anything behind since there’s no way to return.

There’s a bang. The door is broken down off its hinges, and three masked men come to carry me away. There’s a struggle, and just before my switch flies out of my hands, I manage to tell Wilbur that I’m ready to go, that I haven’t forgotten anything.

I want to go home.

I cannot have coronavirus. ■


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[1355 words, ready for grading]