<div align="center">Roddy's Rants
Online Journal Of An NWJHL Rookie

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When I was asked by the SHL to keep a public journal of my season in the Juniors, I figured: “Why not?” The press certainly helps, I get a free iPad, and I can pretty much say whatever I want. But I will say, money in the SHL must be tight because I got that tablet in the mail yesterday and for some reason, it says “COBY” on it. Alas, it’s time for the maiden voyage of Roddy’s Rants so please place your seatbacks and tray tables in the upright and locked position…

The league has announced the official draft date and I couldn’t be any more ecstatic. Patients sometimes isn’t my greatest virtue but even worse is the anticipation. So now Monday, 6pm, the lives of several of us hockey youngin’s will change forever. I am constantly being asked where I think I will be drafted and my answer is usually: “I don’t know” or “I don’t care”. As long as I am drafted, I am happy. Having played my entire pre-Juniors hockey in one of the most unorthodox ice hockey markets in the world, I have gotten used to not receiving as many props as I probably deserve. Born and raised in the dirty south, proud, very proud, but c’mon…the Atlanta Thrashers…’nuff said. Doesn’t matter though, you stop getting gold stars next to your name in Kindergarten and I welcome all challenges. I have first overall talent and work ethic, I truly believe, but even I am the last pick of the last round…I will happily show up and prove myself.

The toughest part of this draft for me will be leaving the Atlanta area. I had several offers to play high school in the northern United States and Canada but I chose to stay. Heading into the NWJHL, I will finally have no choice but to relocate. I admittedly get a little anxiety knowing this but it is exciting to think about starting another chapter of life in a number of different places. I have heard from a few different NWJHL teams and many want to know what I feel about playing for their clubs. Again, I’ll play anywhere but I would like to take the time to let all of my readers know a little bit about how these conversations are going.

That said, I’ve included excerpts from my dialogue with said General Managers:

Dear Chicago Hitmen,

Is it really that windy? I like your logo; it reminds me of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Casey Jones was badass but it pissed me off he wasn’t given a bigger role in any of the sequels.  I remember him playing hockey with the Japanese dudes in the 3rd movie but come to think of it, was he even in the 2nd? That movie did kinda suck but Super Shredder was perhaps even more badass and Vanilla Ice was in it! Don’t laugh, he was cool back then. Well I gotta run, I have several other teams to talk to.

Say “hi” to Barrack for me.

Dear Kelowna Knights,

So where exactly is Kelowna? I think I’ve heard of another team playing in Kelowna..the Dragons maybe? If memory serves me correct, they have a logo that looks as if it were designed by a Disney artist with down-syndrome. Alas, the Knights sounds way cooler and I like the color green. Did you ever think how awesome it would be to be an actual knight? I know I do but I bet wearing all that sh*t is heavy. I don’t know if I’d want to live back then either. We have way more vaccinations and a lot less black magic to worry about. How awesome would it be to take a machine gun, some ammo, and Kevlar, back in time? Throw in a few grenades and you could easily rule the world.

Time for lunch, see you on draft day!

Dear Detroit Falcons,

What a coincidence, my favorite NFL team is the Falcons! There are plenty of Falcons here in Georgia; as a matter of fact, there’s a Falcon who likes to circle my house when he sees me in my pool. I was floating around on a raft yesterday, watching him…and he was watching me. I figured he was probably trying to decide if I was dead or not. I wonder what he would do to me if I was. Do Falcons eat people? Anyways, playing in hockey town sounds great and I love how they throw dead sea animals onto the ice. One time I scored goal and someone threw a roll of quarters onto the ice. Not sure why but it never caught on.

Well it looks like that Falcon is back so I better go back to throwing sh*t at him…

Dear Prince George Firebirds,

Exactly which Prince George is your state named after? Wait, they aren’t states in Canada…I believe you guys call them Mounties. Or no, Mounties are the cops…? I’m confused. Oh well, I know of a Prince George of Great Britain who died when he was 3 months old. Kinda stupid to name your entire Mounty after a dead British baby but I don’t mean to judge. You guys are defending champs so I would welcome that bullseye on the back of the sweater. Firebirds is also a dope name for a team. My dad used to drive a Firebird, it has a giant bird painted across the hood. They don’t make cars like they used to.

I’ll check you later P.G.

Dear Montreal Impact,

Before we begin to discuss the potential of me playing in the city that Scott Gomez built, I have to know what the intentions of your name are. By “Impact” are you meaning as a verb or a noun? I’m not a huge fan of teams that use verbs as mascots but on second thought, ”to have an impact or effect on” may work. If this is the case then please stop kidding yourselves and change to the ” Montreal Influence” right away. I also can’t help but think of two things upon seeing your letterhead: Major League Soccer and the movie Deep Impact. Not sure about the soccer thing but did you ever see that movie? It did suck but then again, that was a time when making movies about Armageddon was about as trendy as vampire sh*t is now. Now that I think of it, I've seen a couple of movies called "Deep Impact". One was about an asteroid and the other wouldn't be appropriate to discuss at this time.

Do I have to speak French in order to play there? Please get back to me on that.

Dear Vancouver Whalers,

Are the riots over yet? If not, I’m not my mother would feel comfortable with me playing there. Then again, you know that photo of the guy finger-blasting the chick on the street, all while the inferno is blazing in the background? I thought it would be cool to come there and re-create that photo with me and like…4 chicks. Would you be able to assist me in making sure such a photo goes viral? I do wish the Hartford Whalers were still around but I’m not sure Rhode Island is a good hockey market in today’s day and age. Isn’t whaling against the law? If I played there, would I get harassed by animal rights activists? Maybe you should consider a mascot change for purposes of player safety; choose something more appropriate. There’s a lot of awesome native American themes choices out there.

Say hello to the Luongo twins for me…see you on draft night!

So now that I’ve made my opinions of each franchise public, I’d like to know what my readers think. Feel free to drop me a line and tell me where and when I’ll be drafted. All comments can be sent to: [email protected] . I look forward to hearing from all my fans and I’m sure the haters will be in touch as well.

Well that’s going to do it for this first entry, I hope it was as good for you as it was for me. Wish me luck on draft night, I’ll try to look my best. The next time we link up, I’ll be way less impartial and talking way more sh*t on behalf of my team.

Until next time, stay chill everyone,

- Roddy

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good read

Originally posted by diglet@Jul 8 2012, 12:45 PM
good read

Appreciate the read, please tell your friends

funny guy.
i like you

Funny read, it was original to see your take on the teams like this

And Shredder is indeed badass

Update Thread - Player Page
Update Scale

Former players:
Ivo Willems (S9 SMJHL) (S10-28 SHL)  
Xander Green  (S33-35 SMJHL) (S36-47 SHL)
Vorian Atreides (S49-51 SMJHL) (S52-61 SHL)

nice work roddy, keep em coming...

Player Page       Update Page

HE SHOOTS HE SCORES

JOHN LANGABEER NETS IT AND TIES THE GAME!!!!!
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AND HE SCORES AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! JOHN LANGABEER JUST SCORED THE 2 BIGGEST GOALS OF HIS CAREER IN A MATTER OF 10 SECONDS!!!!!!

WEST KENDALL TAKES THE LEAD!!!!

S41 Challenge Cup Finals Game 7, Game Tying and Game Winning Goals.

good funny read

Whata stud