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5ympathies · 05-09-2020, 03:17 AM

Code:
WC: 2828 + 2x Media Week 1

Hello and welcome to day 2 of legends week, (its actually day 6 now, my mood to write tanked so quick so yea) where today I am going to be rating the names of players drafted in S46. S46 was chosen due to it being my own draft class but also I wrote media on this exact topic about a year and a half ago and I want to compare my opinions then, to my opinions now. We'll see how many I end up doing, might just write 500 words and then dip, who knows? Of course, this is not going to be in any particular order.

Starting off we have the infamous Monkey D Luffy (Lethbridge Alumni, I wanted to include that icon but I don't know what team they turned into) who actually wore a suit and came on video for our draft. Huge power move, still almost 10 seasons later I'm not sure how I feel about it, but can't hate on it. He was drafted first overall, so honestly just a huge flex on the rest of us. I do like the name. It's not an actual name which is nice to see, it's a little different. Also I like monkeys I guess because my profile picture is a monkey if you couldn't tell. Looking at what I wrote about him previously, I said his name was one of the top on my list. His name also is the only one that features a middle initial (fun fact). That list also descended into madness not shortly after so maybe this will turn out similarly?

Second up is the new number one Nick Brain. I wrote the first paragraph assuming Luffy was first in TPE but apparently he's not anymore wtf? We hated him because he was the best and now he's not even the best so do we still even hate him? But that doesn't matter anymore because now I'm talking about Brain. Nick, pretty common name sure. Brain, he must be smart because he's number 1 in our draft class (at the moment) for TPE. Decently overall. Basically as long as it's not a generic name it's alright in my books. Direct quote from what I wrote last time "Insert "joke" (we all know these aren't as funny as I think they are) about having a big brain or even just having a brain.

Third we have Michael Scarn. I'm playing mini golf on tabletop simulator at the same time as this so excuse me if my thoughts are more jumbled than normal. Ok I actually went for a run and then started playing minecraft but now I am back to write my thoughts on Scarn. The Office is so good and it well apart real quick after Michael Scott left (not a spoiler it's been like 8 years) so he was clearly an integral part of the show the same way that Scarn is an integral part of his team. This is one of my favourites in the class and I thought so as well last time too. Quote from last time "The only downside is it reminds me of a girl I had a bad break with. [Image: aggrieved.gif]

" I had a relationship end two weeks before I last wrote an article like this and it was a real rough time :(

Fourth is Daniel Smeb. I want to point out that I'm listing these in terms of TPE at the time I am writing this, not in my ranking for them. Should have specified that at the top, but you live and you learn. Daniel Smeb is decent. Not much to say besides he didn't crack my top 25 last time I did this 15 months ago.

Fifth we have Brennan Kennedy Jr. I believe he is the only Jr on our list here. Definitely stands out for sure. The senior must have been a great player as well. I wonder if we'll see a Dick Clapper Jr. or maybe the next one will be named Duck Clapper. Too early to say for sure. My previous comment on the matter was "Brennan teased me because I thought it said Brendan. Because of literally just that, I have to say I'm not really feeling this name. " Weird thing to say.

Sixth is my teammate and my friend Guy Zheng. If i'm going to be brutally honest, which I will be, just because he's my friend and I know he wont hate me. He could have done better. Great player, max earner, has and will continue to have a strong career. But the name could be better. I even had similar thoughts to this last time. "I hate to say it because we're teammates and also actual friends but this name is nothing special. I'll always respect the first name Guy, because honestly your parents are just setting you up for failure, but at the end of the day it's nothing to write home about."

Seventh up is Jimmy Slothface. Pretty sure he just recently went inactive so I just right anything about him and he wouldn't care because he's not going to see this. Perfect time for me to say I cannot believe I wrote 1300 words last time I did this. Just honestly crazy. The worst part is I'm going to end up writing more than 1300 words this time. Disgusting. Focusing on his name, however, I love it. Animals in names is great. Not enough people are doing that, unfortunately.

Eighth is me. I'm not really going to go too much into it other than I have a sick name and other people think so too.

We're up to 9 now and this is so mind-numbing that I want to stop at 10 but I want more money so that I don't have to write anything during the season. It's not efficient to not post during 2x media because you're actually wasting money. 9th on our list is Bobby Sharp and I actually like this user. We played together in Kelowna and we almost won in S46 (we hate St. Louis for beating us in game 7). He actually gave me the hookup the first time I posted this before I knew about player analyze so we can thank him for me doing this again.

At 10 and I've gotten a second wind after making fun of Gone Wild Gabriel Johnson and if he ends up reading this he'll know exactly when. (ending the night after a 12-0 win) Might keep this going until 16 players, maybe even 25?? Number 10 is Karl Scholz and I can't write his entire name because I don't know how to make that character on my keyboard. Another player I played in Kelowna with, I think that makes the third on this list? Real shame we couldn't clutch the win but anyway (clearly never going to get over that) I don't know whether that B looking thing is a flex or I just look down on it cause I can't make it. I'm going to consider it a flex and give him props for that.

My second wind is gone now and it only took me 45 seconds to write the above paragraph so maybe I'll stop at 16. At 11 we have Colin Gibbles, the man that stole the GM job from our very own JODAN. I don't think I wrote anything about Colin last time which makes this harder because I don't know what to say now. I am a fan of Gibbles for sure, I'd say top 40% at least maybe even top 30%.

At 12 we have Barry Batsbak and that makes him the fourth Kelowna Alum on this list. I can never say anything bad about a Kelowna player and just for that I'll say that I like his name.

These descriptions have been slacking for the last two so maybe I will match the amount I wrote last time and go all the way to 25. Strong commitment to make though when we're just barely at the half way mark. 13 is my favourite number and because of that I am expecting a lot from this player who is Mathias Seger. All I can say is underwhelming, solely because of these unrealistic expectations I placed on him due to 13 being my favourite number.

In the 14th spot we have Matt Kholin. What can I say about him except that he deserves more pay for all he does. SMJHL playoffs streams are better than SHL ones (no offense JR but there is so much wasted space that can be used to display what the current series are at so if you're just tuning in you know without having to ask someone). He deserves not only a Littleton nomination, but he should also be the frontrunner to win the thing and don't say "oh well that award is for the SHL and Kholin is doing work for the SMJHL" no. He is carrying the SMJHL and now apparently the WJC as well. He is amazing.

I don't know how the 15th spot can top that and I didn't even talk about his name at all I just talked about the user. Cutting in here to say that his username has something to do with a book character? I can't remember but he told me before and also I can just easily look it up because I used that picture to antagonize him like 20 minutes ago, but this spot is reserved to now discuss Olivier Cloutier. Recently departed from TBB I think? Maybe the only one left from the core? One of those. What I wrote last time still applies so I'm going to include it in here. "It almost rhymes but it doesn't. Regardless Dan Cloutier was a meme for the Canucks and so I'll fuck with the last name."

I just got a third wind from going off about Kalakar so in the 16th position we have Commander Shepard. This name is top 20% I think. I never played mass effect so I don't actually care about the relevance but I still like it regardless. It flows off the tongue well. And Commander? How can you not like that. It has the X-factor, the ummph, it demands attention for sure.

Wow I made it past 16, 25 here we come. Before we get to 25, and as I slip closer and closer into insanity, lets talk about 17: Peter Larson. Plain, basic, nothing special. Maybe after Shepard I just wanted more and I got less instead. It's not bad, it's just underwhelming. 15 months younger me did not comment on this name, so congrats on being relatively better now than you were then?

18th we have Michael Fox and I am getting tired. I like this name. It's clean and I'm pretty sure I know a Michael Fox in real life (#nodoxx). Maybe I'm biased idk, I'm pretty sure 1000 words ago I said I didn't like normal names, but this article has gotten to me or something because I actually do like this name. Turns out I do actually know someone with this name because last time I said "This name is decent based solely on the fact that I know someone with this name and I liked him better than his brother."

19th and I cannot wait to end this and somehow I've also just hit the 2k words max which is absolutely filthy. The 19th name on this list is fellow teammate Perry Morgan. Can't say anything bad about my teammates, I'm not Brendan Leipsic lol. What I will say though, why would you have two first names? Also Perry reminds me of Perry the Platypus, not sure how many people here will be able to understand that reference.

20th is Parker Smeb and I lowkey just want to end it here, my fingers are getting tired and I'm making more and more spelling errors as we go on. This is the second Smeb brother of my list, I believe? Also the second one to not crack my list, last time I did these.

Tibuk Soonika is the 21st player on the list and I legitimately have never heard this name before. Never heard their player name, not even their username. I can't tell you when they were drafted (probably higher than me lets be real) and I only what team they play before because of Player Analyze 2.0. It's unique to say the least. Other than that I don't have much to say about it.

22nd is Nikolai Evans, also recently left TBB? Or maybe they're the last one left from the S46 core. All I remember is that they were drafted super duper high and it didn't really work out for Tampa, given that they are now 22nd in TPE from the draft class at just under 1300 TPE. Evans reminds me of that Pokemon because it's almost snake backwards, but it's actually not which disappoints me.

23rd and I'm getting closer and closer to making 5 mil. Mentally I'm getting to a point where I might just not even conclude this media; just get to 25, finish it up and post. Also if someone can tell me if I used that semi-colon correctly, I would appreciate that. I find myself just throwing them in there not even sure if I ever use them right, but it makes me feel smart. 23rd is Andrej Doskočil. Very strong name; no clue on how to pronounce it. I have to rank it high just because it stands out.

24th, the penultimate ranking, we have Ethan Ross. I have a vendetta against JR because in the pre-season he re-simmed a game where I had 4 goals and now nobody will remember me for that. Very unfortunate. Also I'm not biased, but two first names ain't it. Mediocre, nothing special.

Last (thank god its like 12:30, I'm trying to go to sleep) is Borromini Cannellini. I am very fond of this name, I would say top 8 at least. Love the vowels, love the repeating letters, it almost rhymes, it rolls off the tongue, it's great. Maybe top 5 now that I've hyped it up. Here's what I had to say about it last time "Originally I thought Cannellini was one of those pastries filled with cream which was open at both ends but apparently it's actually a type of bean. Regardless of the point of that information, I enjoy this name because of the rhyming aspect which not only do we not see enough of, most of the time it's just not a good rhyme."

I don't think I will include a flat tier list because I don't want set rankings and also because I'm super indecisive and also by the time I wake up, when I'm actually looking at this with a clear mind I would most likely end up changing all off the rankings. What I will do, however, is include my rankings from 15 months ago, for the sole reason of increasing my word count.

1. [Image: raptors.png]

Michael Scarn
2. [Image: lions.png]

Monkey D. Luffy
3. [Image: Raiders-emote.png]

Jimmy Slothface
4. [Image: whalers.png]

Borromini Cannellini
5. [Image: scarecrows-new.png]

Gordie Boomhover
6. [Image: raptors.png]

Knute Knurtsson
7. [Image: militia2.png]

Kristoffer Svensson
8. [Image: knights.png]

Bobby Sharp
9. [Image: armada.png]

Brock Emmerton
10. [Image: raptors.png]

Nick Brain

Do I agree with all of these now? No. Some of these people weren't even included in this article so that's great. Some of these SMJHL teams don't even exist anymore which really adds to the professionalism of this article. The main takeaway from this article is if you read all of it you played yourself so hard and I've somehow managed to write over 2800 words.

Thanks to JSS for the signature

DeletedAtUserRequest · 05-10-2020, 11:11 AM

Very nice

+1

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Nerio · 05-10-2020, 09:19 PM

Dicks out for Dick Clapper Knights

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