Hello, and welcome to a special edition of Hockey: Right Now. As always I’m your host, Bobby Bungus. I currently stand inside the home of Anchorage Armada left wing, TURG TURG. It would appear that TURG has invited his entire team, every reporter he could find and for some reason, Dave Matthews. TURG has instructed me to give you a tour of his home until he is ready to be interviewed. So without further ado, this is a new segment I call: I’m In Your Home!
First we have the kitchen where TURG prepares all his meals. You wouldn’t know it by looking at him, but TURG is a cooking wizard. Most of his dishes consist entirely of meat. But it’s the best damn meat anyone has ever eaten. In the refrigerator are many opened bottles of hot sauce and a single block of cheddar cheese with a bite taken out of it.
When asked about the block of cheese, TURG responded: “HAH! SORRY MISTER BUNGUS! TURG ATE THAT CHEESE AFTER TURG DRANK TOO MUCH! IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN!”
Let’s move on to the living room. Probably the most extravagant part of the house. A chocolate fountain stands in the middle of the room. This isn’t just for the party, apparently as TURG says it was the first thing he bought with his contract money. Behind the fountain is a one hundred and five inch 4K high definition television which TURG says is exclusively for watching Days of Our Lives and the Spider-Man show from the sixties. TURG also owns a large number of gaming consoles which he states he has “liberated from their captors.” Whatever that means. TURG’s favourite games are ‘Viva Piñata: Trouble in Paradise’, ‘Knack 2’, and ‘Dark Souls’.
Moving on to the bathroom where TURG has carefully laid towels all over the floor. “JUST IN CASE YOU MISS.” Thank you TURG.
Finally, we move on to the bedroom. Oh my goodness. It appears his walls are covered in posters of WWE Superstar John Cena with the mouths cut out. Strange. It also looks like he sleeps in a race car bed. I feel like I was not supposed to see this.
CRASH
It seems that TURG has tossed someone out a window and into his pool. And by pool I of course mean the plastic kiddie pool in the back. So now might be a good time for a quick interview.
”So TURG, you managed to pick up the opening goal in the game against Colorado. A game in which the Armada won five goals to four. How did you feel after getting the first?”
”TURG VERY HAPPY ABOUT SCORING GOAL! WHEN TURG SCORE CROWD YELL TURG TURG TURG! TURG WANT TO CELEBRATE BY TAKING OFF CLOTHES BUT COACH SAY NO!”
”Yes we noticed. Near the end of the first period you took what many deemed an unnecessary goaltender interference penalty. Would you like to comment on that?”
”GOALIE SAY MEAN THING ABOUT TURG MOMMA! TURG MOMMA IS A SAINT! TURG DID NOT LIKE IT AT ALL! IF RAPTORS GOALIE IS WATCHING PLEASE SAY SORRY TO TURG MOMMA!”
”Now that you’ve got one goal, are you going to be looking to light the lamp more often? Is this going to be an offensive explosion from TURG?
”TURG WANT TO SCORE LOTS OF GOALS! TURG GOING TO GET HIS HANDS DIRTY AND DO WHAT EVER IT TAKES TO SCORE!”
”And what are your thoughts on the people saying you don’t have what it takes to win at the SHL level?”
”TURG WORK HARD! TURG MAY NOT BE GOOD RIGHT AWAY! BUT TURG WORK HARD TO BE GREAT! TURG CREAM OF THE CROP OOH YEA!”
”And do you have any final comments?”
TURG proceeds to reach into the crowd, fishing an unsuspecting Bork Lazer out and squeezing him in a massive hug reminiscent of Gossamer from the Looney Tunes.
”TURG WANT TO THANK HIS FRIEND AND TEAM MATE BORK LAZER FOR ASSISTING HIS GOAL! WITHOUT BORK TURG NOT SCORE! TURG LIKE BORK!”
Well thank you TURG for the insightful look into your life. That’s all the time we have. As always, I am Bobby Bungus. And this has been Hockey: Riiiiight Now.
credit to MuNk22 for the sig
| LW | Jussi Mutou | COL | JPN | S72-Now |
-Picked 19th overall by COL in the 72nd SMJHL draft-
Won Esa Anrikkanen Award - S72
Rookie All-Star Team - S72
All-Star Game - S74
All-SHL 2nd Team - S74
King-Kurczewski Gauntlet - East Playoff Champions - S74
King-Kurczewski Gauntlet - East Playoff Champions - S75
Four Star Cup - S75
SHL Career:
-Picked 22nd overall by MTL in the 73rd SHL draft-
----------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Stats
| S72 | GP:66 | G:37 A:37 P:74 | -39 | PIM:59 | H:227 SB:38 |
| S73 | GP:66 | G:35 A:38 P:73 | -6 | PIM:79 | H:147 | SB:28 |
| S74 | GP:66 | G:40 A:49 P:89 | +21 | PIM:58 | H:185 | SB:39 |
| S75 | GP:66 | G:46 A:48 P:94 | +16 | PIM:34 | H:193 | SB:45 |
SMJHL Playoff Stats
| S72 | GP:5 | G:4 A:2 P:6 | -2 | PIM:0 | H:14 SB:11 |
| S74 | GP:24 | G:12 A:13 P:25 | 0 | PIM:10 | H:46 SB:8 |
| LW | TURG TURG | Retired(?) | CAN | S54-S65 |
SMJHL career:
-Picked 38th overall by ANC in the 54th SMJHL draft-
-Won Ron Bolt Trophy in S56-
-Won Four Star Cup with Anchorage Armada in S57-
SHL career:
-Picked 17th by TBB in the 55th SHL draft-
-Signed 2 year deal with Los Angeles Panthers in S57 Offseason
-Called up to play for the Panthers in S58-
-Taken in the 6th round of the S60 expansion draft by Philadelphia Forge
-Brief stints in both Montreal and Calgary to end his career-
International Career:
-Called up to play for team Canada at S54, S55, S56 and S57 WJC
-Won WJC Silver Medal with Team Canada in S55 WJC
-Won WJC Gold Medal with Team Canada in S56 WJC
----------------------------------------------------
SMJHL stats
| S54 | GP:50 | G:6 A:8 P:14 | +2 | PIM:8 | H:27 SB:30 |
| S55 | GP:50 | G:14 A:23 P:37 | +24 | PIM:6 | H:67 SB:57 |
| S56 | GP:50 | G:15 A:16 P:31 | +13 | PIM:0 | H:83 SB:71 |
| S57 | GP:66 | G:18 A:28 P:46 | +12 | PIM:16 | H:105 SB:65 |
SMJHL playoff stats
| S54 | GP:7 | G:0 A:0 P:0 | +2 | PIM:0 | H:4 SB:5 |
| S55 | GP:7 | G:1 A:4 P:5 | +1 | PIM:0 | H:10 SB:7 |
| S56 | GP:16 | G:3 A:1 P:4 | +3 | PIM:2 | H:30 SB:10 |
| S57 | GP:16 | G:8 A:5 P:13 | +5 | PIM:4 | H:31 SB:20 |
SHL Stats
| S58 | GP:66 | G:2 A:16 P:18 | -26 :( | PIM:4 | H:67 SB:73 |
| S59 | GP:66 | G:7 A:15 P:22 | -8 | PIM:24 | H:97 SB:55 |
| S60 | GP:66 | G:13 A:20 P:33 | +1 | PIM:14 | H:121 SB: 84 |
| S61 | GP:66 | G:17 A:20 P:37 | +12 | PIM:16 | H:96 SB:84 |
| S62 | TURG died : ( |
| S63 | GP:66 | G:15 A:26 P:41 | +8 | PIM:12 | H:113 SB:108 |
| S64 | GP:66 | G:15 A:19 P:34 | -13 | PIM:26 | H:131 SB:112 |
| S65 | GP:66 | G:10 A:13 P:23 | -33 | PIM:36 | H:119 SB:50 |
SHL Playoff Stats
| S58 | GP:6 | G:1 A:1 P:2 | -1 | PIM:2 | H:4 SB:7 |
| S59 | GP:6 | G:0 A:1 P:1 | 0 | PIM:0 | H:7 SB:10 |
| S60 | GP:6 | G:2 A:2 P:4 | -2 | PIM:0 | H:10 SB:8 |
| S61 | GP:6 | G:1 A:2 P:3 | -3 | PIM:0 | H:11 SB:7 |
| S63 | GP:6 | G:1 A:2 P:3 | -2 | PIM:4 | H:10 SB:13 |
| S64 | GP:4 | G:1 A:1 P:2 | -6 | PIM:2 | H:7 SB:7 |
International Stats
| S54 WJC | GP:13 | G:1 A:1 P:2 | -1 | PIM:4 | H:17 SB:6 |
| S55 WJC | GP:15 | G:2 A:5 P:7 | +4 | PIM:2 | H:2 SB:7 |
| S56 WJC | GP:15 | G:2 A:4 P:6 | +5 | PIM:0 | H:13 SB:7 |
| S57 WJC | GP:12 | G:0 A:3 P:3 | +1 | PIM:12 | H:7 SB:15 |
----------------------------------------------------
| RW | Kyler Gill | Retired | CAN | S37-S47 |
SMJHL Career:
-Picked 27th overall by PGF in the 37th SMJHL Draft-
-Nominated for Esa Anrikkanen Award in S37-
-Laurifer Trophy with PGF in S38-
-Occasus Trophy with PGF in S38-
-Four Star Cup with PGF in S38-
-Jared Hanson Trophy with PGF in S39-
-Roberto Martucci Trophy with PGF in S39-
-Ideen Fallah Trophy with PGF in S39-
-Raymond Lindsay Trophy with PGF in S39-
-Plus/Minus Leader with PGF in S39-
-Tied for 5th most points in the 50 Game/350 Cap era with 63 points-
SHL Career:
-Picked 19th overall by SFP in the 38th SHL Draft-
-Nominated for the Aidan Richan Trophy with SFP in S43-
SMJHL Stats
| S37 | GP:50 | G:13 A:19 P:32 | -13 | PIM:10 | H:51 SB:3 |
| S38 | GP:50 | G:17 A:16 P:33 | +8 PIM:17 | H:55 SB:7 |
| S39 | GP:50 | G:27 A:36 P:63 | +36 | PIM:10 | H:69 SB:8 |
| Total | GP:150 | G:57 A:71 P:128 | +31 | PIM:37 | H:175 SB:18 |
SHL Stats
| S40 |GP:50 | G:5 A:3 P:8 | -18 | PIM:12 | H:18 SB:4|
| S41 | GP:50 | G:8 A:10 P:18 | -18 | PIM:4 | H:36 SB:11 |
| S42 | GP:50 | G:12 A:9 P:21 | -11 | PIM:48 | H:73 SB:16|
| S43 | GP:50 | G:23 A:19 P:42 | -1 | PIM:31 | H:101 SB:11 |
| S44 | GP:50 | G:15 A:10 P:25 | +1 | PIM:24 | H:97 SB:19 |
| S45 | GP:50 | G:3 A:1 P:4 | -6 | PIM:6 | H:21 SB:0 |
| S46 | GP:50 | G:3 A:2 P:5 | -5 | PIM:12 | H:19 SB:1 |
| S47 | GP:50 | G:3 A:2 P: 5 | +3 | PIM:4 | H:23 SB:2 |
| Total | GP:400 | G:72 A:56 P:128 | -55 | PIM:141 | H:388 SB:64 |
SHL Playoff Stats
| S47 | GP:5 | G:0 A:0 P:0 | -1 | PIM:2 | H:1 SB:0 |
----------------------------------------------------
TURG TURG
(S65) Ricky Koivu, RW (Anchorage Armada, Philadelphia Forge
Age: 19
TPE: 371
Drafted (SMJHL): 12th Overall (ANC) in S64
Drafted (SHL): 2nd Overall (PHI) in S65
Anchorage Armada (S64-)
Career Total (Regular Season - SMJHL): 66 GP: 8G, 12A, 20pts
Career Total (Playoffs - SMJHL): 4 GP: 1G, 1A, 2pts
Season-by-Season Statistics:
(ANC) S64 SMJHL Regular Season: 66 GP: 8G, 12A, 20pts
(ANC) S64 SMJHL Playoffs: 4 GP: 1G, 1A, 2pt
(S48) Gabriel Johnson, D (Retired, formerly player of ANC, HAM, SEA, EDM and ATL)
Age: 33
TPE: 1933
Drafted (SMJHL): 17th Overall (ANC) in S47
Drafted (SHL): 2nd Overall (HAM) in S48
Anchorage Armada (S47-S49)
Hamilton Steelhawks (S50-S57)
Seattle Argonauts (S58-)
[pbl]
Career Total (Regular Season - SMJHL): 150 GP: 22G, 52A, 74pts | -12 | 84 HIT | 132 SB
Career Total (Playoffs - SMJHL): 16 GP: 1G, 8A, 9pts | -6 | 12 HIT | 22 SB
Career Total (Regular Season - SHL): 300 GP: 57G, 165A, 222pts | +95 | 268 HIT | 397 SB
Career Total (Playoffs - SHL): 61 GP: 12G, 28A, 40pts | +3 | 76 HIT | 167 SB
Career Accolades:
S47 WJC Best Rookie
S48 WJC Gold Medalist
Named Assistant Captain of ANC in S49
Runner-up for SMJHL Most Sportsmanlike in S49
Called up to Hamilton Steelhawks in S50
S50 SHL All-Rookie Team
S51 Challenge Cup
S53 Anton Razov Nominee
S53 Challenge Cup
S54 IIHF Gold Medalist
S55 IIHF Bronze Medalist
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Season-by-Season Statistics:
(ANC) S47 SMJHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 2G, 11A, 13pts | +14 | 49 HIT | 43 SB
(ANC) S47 SMJHL Playoffs: 4 GP: 0G, 1A, 1pt | -1 | 6 HIT | 1 SB
(ANC) S48 SMJHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 9G, 17A, 26pts | -23 | 10 HIT | 43 SB
(ANC) S48 SMJHL Playoffs: 12 GP: 1G, 7A, 8pts | -5 | 6 HIT | 21 SB
(ANC) S49 SMJHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 11G, 24A, 35pts | -5 | 25 HIT | 46 SB
(ANC) S49 SMJHL Playoffs: 13 GP: 2G. 6A, 8pts | -4 | 10 HIT | 18 SB
(HAM) S50 SHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 9G, 16A, 25pts | -5 | 27 HIT | 54 SB
(HAM) S50 SHL Playoffs: 12 GP: 5G, 9A, 14pts | +8 | 5 HIT | 32 SB
(HAM) S51 SHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 9G, 24A, 33pts | +17 | 25 HIT | 57 SB
(HAM) S51 SHL Playoffs: 14 GP: 0G, 6A, 6pts | -4 | 16 HIT | 34 SB
(HAM) S52 SHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 10G, 24A, 34pts | +0 | 20 HIT | 58 SB
(HAM) S52 SHL Playoffs: 5 GP: 0G, 1A, 1pt | -1 | 7 HIT | 11 SB
(HAM) S53 SHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 15G, 32A, 47pts | +15 | 74 HIT | 69 SB
(HAM) S53 SHL Playoffs: 15 GP: 4G, 7A, 11pts | +4 | 26 HIT | 40 SB
(HAM) S54 SHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 8G, 36A, 44pts | +35 | 60 HIT | 68 SB
(HAM) S54 SHL Playoffs: 15 GP: 3G, 5A, 8pts | -4 | 22 HIT | 50 SB
(HAM) S55 SHL Regular Season: 50 GP: 6G, 33A, 39pts | +33 | 62 HIT | 91 SB
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Job History:
Russia WJC Head GM (S47)
SMJHL Media Grading Team (S48-S52)
SHL All-Star Voting Committee (S48-)
Canada WJC Head GM (S48)
Co-GM of Canada IIHF Team (S49-S51)
SMJHL Awards Committee (S49-S52)
Canada Federation Head (S51-S53)
SMJHL PT Director (S53-)
Vancouver Whalers Interim Co-GM (S53)
Hamilton Steelhawks Co-GM (S53-)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Accolades:
Managed Canada to S48 WJC Gold
Managed Canada to S50 IIHF Bronze
Won Joe McKeil Award for Best Coach in S53
Managed Hamilton to S53 Challenge Cup
Scott Stevens Nominee for Best Defenseman in S63
bluesfan55 IIHF Federation Head
Too young for this shit
TURG TURG
Sebastien Regazzoni || C || Hamilton Steelhawks || 1276 TPE
Birthplace: Bern, Switzerland
Height/Weight: 6'3", 200 lbs
SHL Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 17 A: 25 PTS: 42 +/-: -23 PIM: 32 H: 75
S72 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 28 A: 31 PTS: 59 PIMS: 55 +/-: 7 H: 89
S73 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 24 A: 33 PTS: 57 PIMS: 34 +/-: -2 H: 81
S74 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 37 PTS: 49 PIMS: 43 +/-: -8 H: 83
S75 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 11 A: 51 PTS: 62 PIMS: 39 +/-: 22 H: 66
SHL Playoff Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 2 A: 1 PTS: 3 +/-: -5 PIM: 2 H: 5
S72 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 0 +/-: -5 PIM: 0 H: 7
SMJHL Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 25 A: 21 PTS: 46 +/-: -5 PIM: 6 H: 107
S68 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 41 PTS: 61 +/-: 5 PIM: 30 H: 138
S69 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 33 PTS: 53 +/-: -3 PIM: 18 H: 142
S70 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 23 PTS: 35 +/-: -54 PIM: 28 H: 78
Career SMJHL Regular Season Stats
GP: 264 G: 77 A: 118 PTS: 195 +/-: -57 PIM: 82 H: 465
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 5 G: 4 A: 1 PTS: 5 +/-: -2 PIM: 0 H: 11
S68 || ANC || GP: 10 G: 4 A: 3 PTS: 7 +/-: 7 PIM: 4 H: 24
Career Milestones
Drafted 20th overall by Anchorage, S67 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 4th overall by Hamilton, S68 SHL Draft
Voted Anchorage Armada captain, S69
Mitchell van der Heijden || C || Philadelphia Forge || 925 TPE
Birthplace: Alkmaar, Netherlands
Height/Weight: 6'2", 205 lbs
SHL Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 50 G: 8 A: 10 PTS: 18 PIMS: 16 +/-: 0 H: 24
S55 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 19 PTS: 34 PIMS: 14 +/-: 2 H: 70
S56 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 16 A: 11 PTS: 27 PIMS: 26 +/-: -17 H: 65
S57 | NEW | GP: 66 G: 20 A: 28 PTS: 48 PIMS: 10 +/-: -37 H: 62
S58 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 22 A: 38 PTS: 60 PIMS: 22 +/-: 25 H: 92
S59 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 21 A: 37 PTS: 58 PIMS: 29 +/-: 37 H: 101
S60 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 49 A: 50 P: 99 PIMS: 6 +/-: 14 H: 97
S61 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 57 PTS: 87 PIMS: 10 +/-: 49 H: 122
S62 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 48 A: 38 PTS: 86 PIMS: 8 +/-: 32 H: 105
S63 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 51 PTS: 81 PIMS: 18 +/-: 47 H: 103
S64 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 43 PTS: 73 PIMS: 8 +/-: 9 H: 103
S65 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 13 A: 37 PTS: 50 PIMS: 20 +/-: 25 H: 134
S66 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 15 A: 24 PTS: 39 PIMS: 30 +/-: -19 H: 116
S67 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 8 A: 27 PTS: 35 PIMS: 20 +/-: 4 H: 140
Career Regular Season Stats
GP: 876 G: 325 A: 470 PTS: 795 PIMS: 237 +/-: 172 H: 1338
SHL Playoff Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 5 PTS: 12 PIMS: 4 +/-: 1
S56 | NEW | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 4 +/-: -4
S57 | NEW | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: 0
S58 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 3 A: 7 PTS: 10 PIMS: 2 +/-: 2
S59 | HAM | GP: 11 G: 2 A: 5 PTS: 7 PIMS: 0 +/-: 4
S60 | HAM | GP: 10 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5
S61 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 9 A: 16 PTS: 25
S62 | HAM | GP: 14 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19
S63 | HAM | GP: 25 G: 10 A: 12 PTS: 22
S64 | HAM | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 17 PTS: 24
S65 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 4 A: 5 PTS: 9
S66 | PHI | G: 7 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3
S67 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 4 PTS: 4
Total SHL Playoff Stats
GP: 172 G: 55 A: 93 PTS: 148
SMJHL Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 14 PTS: 28 PIMS: 6 +/-: -1 H: 21
S51 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 27 PTS: 47 PIMS: 17 -/+: 11 H: 15
S52 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 28 PTS: 53 PIMS: 29 +/-: 7 H: 62
S53 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 26 A: 26 PTS: 52 PIMS: 24 +/-: 12 H: 109
Total SMJHL Reg. Season Stats
GP: 200 G: 85 A: 95 PTS: 180 PIMS: 79 +/-: 29 H: 207
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 11 G: 1 A: 4 PTS: 5 PIMS: 0 +/-: -6
S51 | ANC | GP: 12 G: 5 A: 7 PTS: 12 PIMS: 2 +/-: 7
S52 | ANC | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S53 | ANC | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
Total SMJHL Playoff Stats
GP: 41 G: 8 A: 16 PTS: 24 PIMS: 2 +/-: 1
Accolades
Won S51 4 Star Cup with Anchorage
Won Silver Medal with Switzerland, S51 IIHF
named best forward, S51 WJC
named to second team all SMJHL, S52
named Anchorage alternate captain, S51/S52
named Anchorage captain, S53
named first team all SMJHL, S53
won Ideen Fallah Award (SMJHL Awards Committee MVP), S53
named SMJHL All-Star, S51-S53
won S54 Challenge Cup with New Orleans
scored Challenge Cup-winning goal, S54
named New England alternate captain, S55
#15 retired by the Anchorage Armada
Challenge Cup winner with Hamilton, S58/S61/S63
SHL All-Star, S60-S63
Karpovtsov and McDonald winner, S60
Sarmad Khan winner, S60
Ron Mexico winner, S60
First Team All-SHL, S60
Gold medal winner with Switzerland, S65
Member of the Triple Gold Club
SHL Hall of Famer
Draft Things
drafted 11th by Anchorage in S50 SMJHL Draft
drafted 13th overall by New Orleans in S51 SHL Draft
Joseph Lombardi || RW || Anchorage Armada co-GM || 969 TPE
Name: Joseph Lombardi
Position: Right Wing
Birthplace: Voorhees, NJ, USA (transferred to Ireland)
Height: very short (5'3")
Weight: 145 lbs
SHL Regular Season Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 13 A: 9 PTS: 22 PIMS: 6 +/-: -10
S39 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 12 A: 8 PTS: 20 PIMS: 8 +/-: -10
S40 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 15 PTS: 29 PIMS: 7 +/-: 9
S41 | MIN | GP: 50 G: 7 A: 6 PTS: 13 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S42 | MIN/SEA | GP: 47 G: 14 A: 20 PTS: 34 PIMS: 6 +/-: 4
S43 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 26 PTS: 46 PIMS: 8 +/-: 5
S44 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 18 A: 17 PTS: 35 PIMS: 18 +/-: -16
S45 | SEA/TOR | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 20 PTS: 40 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 23 PTS: 48 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S47 | EDM | GP: 50 G: 17 A: 23 PTS: 40 PIMS: 10 +/-: 26
S48 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 21 A: 17 PTS: 38 PIMS: 10 +/-: 5
S49 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 6 A: 20 PTS: 26 +/-: -8 PIMS: 13
S50 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 11 PTS: 26 PIMS: 10 +/-: 15
Career Stats
GP: 647 G: 202 A: 215 PTS: 417 PIMS: 96 +/-: 14
SHL Playoff Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 6 +/-: -3
S39-S40 | SFP | Missed playoffs
S41 | MIN | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S42 | SEA | missed playoffs
S43 | SEA | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 6 PTS: 6 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S44 | SEA | missed playoffs
S45 | TOR | GP: 5 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 7 G: 2 A: 7 PTS: 9 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
S47 | EDM | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S48 | SFP | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: -4
S49 | SFP | missed playoffs
S50 | SFP | GP: 4 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
Career Playoff Stats
all you need to know is that I was shit
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 50 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: -1
S36 | STL | GP: 50 G: 10 A: 7 PTS: 17 PIMS: 4 +/-: 0
S37 | STL | GP: 44 G: 16 A: 15 PTS: 31 PIMS: 8 +/-: -4
Total Stats: GP: 144 G: 27 A: 22 PTS: 49 PIMS: 14 +/-: -5
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 7 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 +/-: 1
S36 | STL | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 +/-: -1
S37 | STL | GP: 13 G: 4 A: 10 PTS: 14 +/-: -3
Total Stats: GP: 26 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19 +/-: -3
Things I've Done
Selected 40th overall in S35 SMJHL Draft by STL
Selected 30th overall in S36 SHL Entry Draft by POR
Won some team awards with the Crows, but no cup
won Presidents Trophy with San Francisco in S38
won a silver medal with Ireland (S38)
won two bronze medals with Ireland (S39, S41)
won a shit ton of golds with Ireland (S42-47)
was traded by San Francisco to Minnesota before S41
Traded to Seattle by Minnesota before S42 Trade Deadline
traded to Toronto by Seattle before S45 trade deadline
signed a one year, $6 million contract with Edmonton
signed a one year, $4.5 million contract with San Fransisco
named Pride alternate captain for S48
won president's trophy with SFP (s50)
writes haters guides where I shit on every team
ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @
Ragnar for the sigs