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In response to JRuutu
#1

I've been trying to decide whether or not I should do this or not because I don't think you have any genuine interest in trying to understand what was wrong with what you said. It's clear just from the first paragraph of your return post that you're mostly interested in attention and nothing else but maybe giving you that attention will make you read this post and reflect a little, so here we go.

Throughout your post and your replies to your post you insisted that you don't think what you said was homophobic, you tried to write it off as just being your opinion or "the way you feel". I'm not really well spoken so this is kind of gonna be all over the place but hopefully I can use this post to give you a different perspective and make you see why the things you said were homophobic and why they aren't the kind of comments that belong on this site. Let's start with the first part, saying that being gay is gross. In your post you insisted that there was nothing wrong with that, you focused mostly on saying that if you saw two guys kissing it would be gross/unappealing but that isn't a problem because it's how you feel but you still don't care what two adults do together. Here's the thing, first of all in the femboy hooters thread, you didn't say that you find two men kissing to be gross, you specifically called being gay gross. Here's the thing, nobody is telling you that you need to find two men kissing to be attractive but why even open a femboy hooters thread if you know that men kissing or femboys is not something that interest you? To me it feels like you went into that thread specifically to be antagonistic and make that point about how being gay is gross to you. It's funny to me that you want to insist that you aren't homophobic but then take an extra effort to make a comment that's derogatory towards gay people in a thread that you really had no reason to be in since the topic is supposedly not something you have any interest in. It's a targeted comment and it's a comment that is extremely unwelcoming to someone who is gay. You can't just defend it by saying seeing two guys kissing is unappealing because the thread had absolutely nothing to do with two guys kissing and nobody even asked for your opinion on two guys kissing. It's obvious from the post that it wasn't your intention to "say what you think of two men kissing", your intention was to make a tasteless comment at the expense of gay people. As a gay person, seeing something like that tells me that you think less of me and makes a thread that I was really interested in a little less enjoyable.

Then there was the second comment, HO didn't really consider this one in their punishment but to me this one was as bad as the first comment, if not way worse. You decided to double down on your "opinion" by giving another "opinion" that absolutely nobody asked for and added nothing positive to the thread by saying that you "wouldn't feel safe" eating in a femboy hooters? What exactly would make you feel unsafe about a femboy hooters? Do you think that servers in a restaurant will hit on you or try to grab your ass/dick just because they're gay? Or is it that seeing cute guys in short shorts and crop tops would make you feel insecure about your sexuality? Regardless, not a single person asked or wanted to know what you think about eating in a femboy hooters. When I don't want to eat at a restaurant, I simply don't. I don't stick my head in the door and tell the staff and customers all about how I don't wanna eat there. There's also a much much deeper issue with this comment. Saying that you'd feel unsafe in a restaurant where the servers are gay implies that being around gay people makes you feel unsafe. Why is that? Do you think that just because you're a guy and they're gay that they'll try to make an advance on you? That kind of thought in itself is definitely homophobic. Do you know that in many countries throughout the world it's legal to kill people for being gay and using the defense that they made you feel unsafe? It's something that is still allowed even in more advanced countries like the US and it's a serious issue. Do I think that because you made that comment you're gonna go kill gay people? No, I don't, but it shows a way of thinking that is not only deeply homophobic but that is also both dangerous and ostracizing to gay people and once again, should have absolutely no place on this site.

Finally, you said that you disagree with HO's decision to suspend you, that it was weak and that you've seen more damaging comments. First fo all, the fact that you may or may not have seen more damaging comments, doesn't change the fact that your comments were both damaging and dehumanizing. Second of all, just because you don't think what you said was homophobic, it doesn't make the decision weak because the majority opinion agrees that your comments were targeted and homophobic and the league has clear conduct rules about these sorts of things which they followed in this case. You go on to say that you would've liked to see NEW protest the suspension instead of releasing you but once again, when it's clear to most people that what you said was homophobic, why would NEW have any reason to defend you? Clearly those were actions and comments that they don't want representing their team, otherwise they would've defended you.

I don't know if you genuinely want to see what was wrong with your comments but if you do, please take the time to reflect over what I had to say here and to understand how what you said is the type of thing that could make this site's experience worse for some people. You don't need to listen to me obviously but if you plan to recreate after Ruutu then maybe you could benefit from taking the time to listen to what others have to say and to reflect on how your actions can be perceived. Your potential recreate won't be welcome in my Outlaws team for obvious reasons but maybe if you put in the effort to be a part of this community then other teams will be willing to draft you. I really hope you take the time to think about this @jRuutu.

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#2

Well said on all fronts, thank you for approaching this reasonably and saying excellent points.

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#3

No one is gonna sign him

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#4

v well spoken donini

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#5

06-30-2020, 06:23 PMSlashACM Wrote: No one is gonna sign him
Speaking personally as a J co GM, I wouldn’t be comfortable with drafting or signing Kalju unless I either saw some real change in his personal beliefs or if the players on my team specifically said that they would be okay with having him in the LR. Just my two cents.

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#6

Thank you for your perspective on this. especially as a member of the community he was targeting. 

I have no comments other than to bump this and elevate YOUR voice..

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#7

My favorite part is where I bring up lesbians/bi girls kissing, and he says that's fine

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#8

06-30-2020, 07:53 PMml002 Wrote: My favorite part is where I bring up lesbians/bi girls kissing, and he says that's fine
That part made me actually laugh because of the absurdity of his thought process.

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#9

06-30-2020, 09:08 PMSFresh3 Wrote:
06-30-2020, 07:53 PMml002 Wrote: My favorite part is where I bring up lesbians/bi girls kissing, and he says that's fine
That part made me actually laugh because of the absurdity of his thought process.
I’m a guy, but sadly that particular line of thinking is actually not that uncommon.

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#10

well said my dude

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#11

06-30-2020, 10:01 PMthecanadiancanuck Wrote:
06-30-2020, 09:08 PMSFresh3 Wrote: That part made me actually laugh because of the absurdity of his thought process.
I’m a guy, but sadly that particular line of thinking is actually not that uncommon.

not wrong either. 1+1=2

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#12

06-30-2020, 07:19 PMEricNCSU Wrote: Thank you for your perspective on this. especially as a member of the community he was targeting. 

I have no comments other than to bump this and elevate YOUR voice..

2nded as another member of the Community.

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#13

People picked up logan when he was a problem child and he grew up, so I don't think ruutu won't be signed.

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#14

Your post is correct, and I agree with your points. What I said and have been saying/implying does not have a place here or anywhere else for that matter. What I posted and have been posting is for attention and reactions. I realize that it is not right or something that anybody should have to deal with in SHL. I regret my actions, I feel bad, I´m ashamed that I did not have enough sense to think those who have to read the drivel I have posted.

I want to apologize to you and everyone else who has felt like I have attacked them and/or in general made their SHL experience not as fun as it could be. I´m sorry.

I know I need to make real effort to change my behavior and that is what I´m going to promise to you and everyone else - I´m going to change and be a more thoughtful person from now on.

Hopefully, I did not cause permanent damage, but I´m not expecting you to forgive, forget, or even reply anything. Hopefully someday you notice a difference or can see that I´m trying at least.

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