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Training in Free Agency
#1
(This post was last modified: 07-31-2020, 07:00 PM by lancedjack.)

Unfortunately due to budget cuts in Junior Hockey in Canada Walter Burke is currently using an outdated calendar from 2013. Imagine his surprise when he kicked open the door of his local legion, ready to watch the draft and discover just where he'd go only to discover cobwebs and stacked chairs in all corners. He'd missed it, and missed it by a wide margin and with that it was off to the vast expanse of possibilities that is free agency. So how does a player like Walter Burke keep his skills sharp outside of his playtime and when the rinks are shut? Let's look at the man himself and figure that out.

So, Walter, what does an average day of training look like for you?

Pretty straight forward really, wake up and immediately crush a Molson because how else would someone start their day? Then spark a dart, head downstairs and open the fridge. I've got a tiled kitchen floor you see and most boys think you need ice to get the speed and agility up, no no. You take a couple shoe laces and some butter and tie a block to each foot. Do your household chores with some butter on your feet you're gonna go sliding a few times, so that makes it easy to react. Try cleaning out a fishtank with a couple hundred grams of Alberta butter strapped to your feet. You'll be as careful as the Queens guard. I think I've torn my PCL or OCL or any of those kinda things a few times, but they always heal stronger so that's the smart move I think. You see ligaments are like noses, they can't tear or break more than once, that's just a fact that Big Medicine doesn't want you to know. Then I hop in the truck, got the F150 out there, take it down to the ol' Tims there on the corner around 11, they give me their ol' biscuits. Bakers dozen for 50c, I take a few of those, a large double double and a tenner of timbits back up and then just rip snipes with the biscuits until they run out. Funnily enough since I started doing that we've had a real bad pigeon problem on the property and I just can't put my finger on why. Anyway I tuck away my timbits, finish off the last of the double double cause nutritions important for the hockey and then it's off for a snooze. Couple hours later you'll see me back up, another couple Molson and then have a watch of the TV there. Mostly it's just watching hockey, y'know, game film or something like that. Check out what the boys are up to. That's about it for me. You want any of these timbits?

No I'm fine Walter, now one final thing what do you think you bring to a team?

Well I've got the ol' truck there so if there's anything needing moved I can bring it down? Why? You hear somethings needing moved?

At this point Walter waxed lyrical about his truck until he fell asleep in his armchair and I tiptoed out. 

Join us for more Walter Burkes Free Agent Chronicles next week!

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#2

If any mods can have a look at my bold tags I'm not sure whats going wrong with them

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#3

I'm no mod but it looks good to me! Great article!

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S66 Damian Littleton


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