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***Gwdjohnson*** · 07-31-2020, 02:08 PM

A few days ago, an investigative piece came out about Hamilton Steelhawks star Gabe Johnson's claims of using Viagra, stating that he was giving himself a competitive advantage through the usage of the anti-erectile dysfunction tablets. Quickly after, however, Johnson has released a statement to refute the claims of the article and protest his innocence.

Johnson's statement began: "Just to clear the air on the allegations out there currently, it's not what you think. I am not on Viagra and I never have been. As for the post on my Twitter that was used for the basis of this article, I was hacked. It was a joke played on me by Matt [Sawful] that I didn't catch because I don't use my Twitter often enough to see. Everything you see me do on the ice is just with pure skill I have acquired through my years in the league. And also, you don't think a boner would be a bit uncomfortable and inefficient to have while wearing a jockstrap?"

Reporters debated Johnson's claim of not being on his Twitter often, as he not only Tweets multiple times on a daily basis, but has even said he spends too much time on Twitter as recently as a day before the investigative article was posted, shown below:

[Image: 0AAAAAElFTkSuQmCC.png]

Johnson seemed to pause and sweat a little at the line of questioning, but told reporters it was enough questions about the Twitter and to focus on the matter at hand which is the Viagra that he was not taking. Reporters went on to say several teammates and ex-teammates have corroborated the story of Johnson's Viagra usage and that he boasts about it all the time in the locker room. Johnson looked over to his agent with a bit of a panicked expression and covertly mouthed to him what lip-readers deciphered as "the [expletive] do I say now?", which is backed up by the agent then proceeding to shrug and hide himself from cameras a bit. Johnson then turned back and claimed it was the jealousy of teammates towards his past few great seasons that led to them trying to bring him down with this story. A reporter said that Flacko Lagerfield, the league's top scorer in consecutive seasons, was one of the sources and surely wouldn't be driven to lie through jealousy about this. They even showed a tweet from Lagerfield's Twitter about Johnson's antics:

[Image: FIkYKrYm2XKw5jiorfXmRn66oG2gKhF7ewfgoPFx...x5Aftr.png]

[Image: FIkYKrYm2XKw5jiorfXmRn66oG2gKhF7ewfgoPFx...x5Aftr.png]

Johnson, now covered in sweat and beginning to fidget nervously, continuously tries to look over to his agent for help, but the agent was already on his way out, with reporters saying they could hear the footsteps of the agent running away from the room as fast as he could. Johnson called the media press conference there, stammering out that there's no story to report here and that they shouldn't believe everything they read. While getting up and leaving rather clumsily and awkwardly, reporters at the site reported there to be a bit of a bulge in Johnson's pants.

Johnson scored a goal and 4 points in 2 games since the interview. With the league reportedly investigating Johnson currently over the allegations of the article, you would be hard-pressed to say this press conference helped his case much.

***golden_apricot*** · 07-31-2020, 02:12 PM

@SDCore suspend this man for substance abuse

***goldenglutes*** · 07-31-2020, 02:13 PM

i heard a rumour in the locker room that gabe has actually increased his viagra usage since the press conference

Signatures by Vulfzilla, Jepox, Jess, rum_ham, Ragnar, and myself
[Image: 9vAsr7c.png]

*Ferda* · 07-31-2020, 02:15 PM

Quote:Hamilton Steelhawks star Gabriel Johnson

More like SHL dictator, racist and tyrant Gone Wild "Gabriel" Johnson.

This article is just another piece of propaganda in his grand scheme of systematically dismantling the SHL with his small Viagra charged genitals.

Take it from me, a victim of Gone Wild himself.

***bluesfan55*** · 07-31-2020, 03:44 PM

07-31-2020, 02:15 PMFerda Wrote:
Quote:Hamilton Steelhawks star Gabriel Johnson

More like SHL dictator, racist and tyrrant Gone Wild "Gabriel" Johnson.

This article is just another piece of propaganda in his grand scheme of systematically dismantling the SHL with his small Viagra charged genitals.

Take it from me, a victim of Gone Wild himself.

we’re all victims of Gone Wild. anyone who’s talked to him has been swindled by his “charm” and “rational takes”

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

***sköldpaddor*** · 07-31-2020, 03:46 PM

poor guy this must all be so hard on him

***Rotti*** · 07-31-2020, 03:47 PM

Great article and defense of your character Gabriel "Gonewild" Johnson.

DeletedAtUserRequest · 07-31-2020, 03:55 PM

Gabe Johnson not on viagra but taking PEP’s...
Performance enhancing Parms

#Confirmed.

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JumpierPegasus · 07-31-2020, 03:59 PM

Ironic that as a player we'd call Gabriel Johnson soft

Grum · 07-31-2020, 04:19 PM

Hi gabe

***Gwdjohnson*** · 07-31-2020, 09:55 PM

07-31-2020, 04:19 PMGrum Wrote: Hi gabe

Hi grum .-.

***goldenglutes*** · 08-01-2020, 05:01 AM

Gabe has to resort to viagra in order to keep his performance enhancing erection while on the ice. Meanwhile, @Jepox is constantly rock hard because he's always eating some good ass.

Signatures by Vulfzilla, Jepox, Jess, rum_ham, Ragnar, and myself
[Image: 9vAsr7c.png]

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